The Astros should blow up the train tracks at Minute Maid Park

If you're the Houston Astros, you have to blow up that train station. You have to blow up those tracks because there have been so many iconic home runs that have found their way onto or through those train tracks in the history of your franchise in the biggest possible moments that you've had. You've got to blow that fucking thing up.

The Red Sox would have beaten the Braves if they made the World Series

Absolutely. Absolutely. Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox. Thank you. 2021 World Series champions.

Patrick Mahomes is no longer capable of making a normal throw

I think they do it to keep Patrick Mahomes entertained because he's so good when he's just throwing the ball. But now it seems like he's become incapable of making a normal throw, where even the normal throws that he has, he does the different arm angles. He does the underhand. He does the left-handed stuff. Just play football, and you guys will be fine. I promise.

Technically Vanny Woodhead does not exist and is legally destroyed

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of, I couldn't, I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it. No, one [owns it]. The, it's technically like scrap. It's a ghost car. It just hasn't been scrapped.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.