NFL owners will never force Dan Snyder to sell because they all have similar skeletons in their closets

I think that the other NFL owners, and I think a lot of NFL teams are going to look at this report and be like, well, we can't force [Dan] Snyder to sell because we all have some of the same stuff probably happening under our own roofs.

The number one highlight of the Dan Snyder era was a playoff win against a spleenless Chris Simms

The number one best part of the [Dan] Snyder era was we won a playoff game. We beat Chris Simms on the road in a playoff game... And Chris Simms, I don't think he had a spleen at the time. So he beat a spleenless quarterback by seven points.

The 2020 Twitter hack was the best thing to happen to the platform because it restored it to its 2010 glory

Twitter getting hacked and restoring itself to like 2010 Twitter when it was awesome and there were no blue checkmarks... that was awesome to watch. Politics were taken out of Twitter. It was blissful.

I lied about destroying Vanny Woodhead; I have been keeping it for years

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of... I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it... I was like, every time it was an excuse I used to not follow through with chopping it up.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.