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Blake BortlesBlake Bortles

I can grow an incredible ponytail to help get NFL GMs interested in me again

I'll work on it. I could probably grow a ponytail. I mean the sides of my head grow pretty rapidly... Can you imagine that ponytail hanging out of the back of the helmet?

Bortles did not actually grow a ponytail for his return to the NFL.

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Win
Jun 17, 2020
#3252
Big CatBig Cat

MLB owners should take a financial loss this season to save the sport's long-term future

The owners will be making money forever. If they had any kind of foresight, the idea here would be take a loss this season but save the baseball season and dominate the ratings. This is the Long play: lose some money this year, but keep baseball going... instead they're taking the short-term approach, the dumb approach.

The 2020 MLB season was eventually played (60 games), but the labor dispute significantly damaged the sport's reputation and lead to a lockout in 2022, suggesting the owners indeed prioritized the short-term over goodwill.
Push
Jun 17, 2020
#3253
Big CatBig Cat

A 50-game MLB season will result in an asterisk for whoever wins the World Series

I think we're all resigned to the fact that it's going to be 50 Game season, which will result in an asterisk on whoever wins this world series unless it's the Nationals or the Cubs or the Red Sox.

The season ended up being 60 games. While fans of rival teams often joke about the asterisk for the 2020 Dodgers, it is officially recognized as a full championship.
Push
Jun 17, 2020
#3254
Big CatBig Cat

I want to buy a Wiffle ball league and become the Vince McMahon of Wiffle ball

I want to buy a wiffle ball leak and I watched probably three hours of this Wiffle ball league in Michigan... I want to be the Vince McMahon and Wiffle ball and and bring them all together and make a national Wiffle ball league because you know what? I actually think Wiffle ball could just be the new sport.

While he didn't start a national professional league, Barstool did eventually host several successful Wiffle Ball tournaments/content series.

More from Blake Bortles

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Void
Blake BortlesBlake Bortles

Shaving your head and growing a beard is the only move for balding men

Shave it and grow a beard... my thing was, which I held onto it for a while... and I finally got... I found this barber... He goes 'Dude you need to just shave your fucking head.' That's, yeah, I think you're right dude. It's tough. I shave it. It was just, you know, bullied me into shaving my head.

Personal style advice is subjective.
Win
Blake BortlesBlake Bortles

I quietly retired from the NFL and didn't tell anyone.

I did. I heard Hank mention that the other day and I appreciate that Hank, I have not touched a football since January. I quietly, I didn't tell anybody I retired. Probably just didn't tell anyone. So I guess you guys are kind of the first to hear it publicly.

Bortles did indeed retire and has not played in the NFL since the 2021 season.
Win
Blake BortlesBlake Bortles

Chris Simms is one of the people in sports media who hated me most

If there was one person that, that I don't even know, you know, who hated me... I would imagine like if you asked him, he would be like, 'Yeah, that guy sucked' was Chris Simms. [Simms] hated me. I saw, showed he me a list one time he ranked me as like the 47th best quarterback in the nfl and I was starting in Jacksonville.

Chris Simms was famously low on Bortles and did indeed rank him significantly lower than other starters during that period.

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