Jeff Fisher and Bruce Arians not being at the Combine is a shock to the system

The only surprise that I've had is that Jeff Fisher hasn't been spotted walking around... Him and like Bruce Arians, if you had told me at the start of the week that they wouldn't be here, I would have called you a liar. They're like... You know how ducks get born in a nest and then they leave and they instinctually return?

The NFL Combine is just a giant excuse for the entire league to get drunk in Indianapolis

Well, what we realized, too, is the Combine is basically an entire fraud operation so that everyone can come to Indianapolis and get drunk. Yeah, because when you break it down, the athletes that they're scouting, they've already scouted in detail... Why are they having everyone get into underwear and run on turf in Indianapolis? Oh, it's because Indianapolis is the one city in America where every bar is connected to a hotel and has a steakhouse.

I could have beaten the Eagles in the playoffs if I were coaching the Saints

[Sean Payton] can say, though, like, I could have beat the Eagles. [PFT: And then, therefore, I would have been Super Bowl champion.] Yes, absolutely.

I probably would have had a better long-term NFL career as a tight end

I thought early on that tight end could have been a potential better just long-term situation for my skillset and [the Jaguars] kind of pushed back on that. So I ended up playing quarterback. I had more offers to play tight end outta college than quarterback. I always thought [the skillset was fitting].

Shaving your head and growing a beard is the only move for balding men

Shave it and grow a beard... my thing was, which I held onto it for a while... and I finally got... I found this barber... He goes 'Dude you need to just shave your fucking head.' That's, yeah, I think you're right dude. It's tough. I shave it. It was just, you know, bullied me into shaving my head.

I quietly retired from the NFL and didn't tell anyone.

I did. I heard Hank mention that the other day and I appreciate that Hank, I have not touched a football since January. I quietly, I didn't tell anybody I retired. Probably just didn't tell anyone. So I guess you guys are kind of the first to hear it publicly.