The Ravens team president is named Dick Gass

I was reading an article about [the Ravens], and I forgot the team president's name is Dick Gass. Dick Cass, but it's Dick Gass.

LeBron James is dead and Steph Curry murdered him

LeBron James is dead. D-E-D. Dead. Steph Curry murdered him. Kyrie backstabbed him, went behind his back. Very Shakespearean, this whole thing.

The NBA offseason is currently better than Game of Thrones

LeBron James, the NBA offseason has now become, I hate to be the guy who's like the offseason is better than the real season, but it's making a run for its money because it's better than Game of Thrones.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.