PMT DB
PMT DB
PFT CommenterWearing hats and helmets causes baldness because hair needs sun and rain to grow
If you're wearing a hat, it's like you can't grow plants indoors, right? So therefore, if you go your whole life wearing hats and helmets, I can see how like your hair doesn't get enough sun and rain, and so it would not grow as well later on.
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View episodePFT CommenterI want to be replaced by a parrot if I die in Cleveland
If I do die in Cleveland... I want a parrot... play old episodes of Pardon My Take for the parrot... put it in front of a microphone and you talk to it and it'll just basically do the same shitty takes that we've done for the past three months. Nobody will even know that it's not me anymore.
Big CatPhil Mickelson is the first person with a recessive clutch gene
Phil [Mickelson] has a clutch gene because he's won a championship, but I think he might be the first person with a recessive clutch gene. You know how a redhead... you'll blow the redhead that pops up in your family. He's got the recessive clutch gene because he so often finishes second.
PFT CommenterPhil Mickelson choked away another major championship
Anytime you got Phil [Mickelson] finishing in second, the storyline is Phil Mickelson choked away another one. Let's focus where it needs to be because it's always fun to make fun of Phil for being always the bridesmaid, never the bride guy.
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View profilePFT CommenterThe Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss
The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.
PFT CommenterI will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup
I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.
PFT CommenterPatrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.
Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.