Takes

The Warriors will struggle to recover from the Draymond Green punch video

I don't know though. I think this is something that it's gonna be hard for them to get over as a team. I don't know if they're gonna be able to come together. This is probably it for them.

Ben Simmons will be one of the most hated and mocked players on the internet this season

Ben Simmons is back and he's shooting basketball... It's gonna be awesome when it's like a Thursday night primetime game... and he just misses a shot. And the whole, like this is now this we're we're looking at one of the most universally hated guys on the internet... There's not a lot of defense for Ben Simmons.

Either Russell Westbrook or Patrick Beverley will be gone from the Lakers by mid-season

This is going to be the team that will absolutely implode. It's going to be incredible. Like Russell Westbrook and Patrick Beverley there, that's the very definition of like, there's only room for one of those two guys. Like one of those guys is going to be gone by mid season. There's no question about it.

Ben Simmons, Kyrie Irving, and Kevin Durant will combine for under 139 games played for the Nets this season

Set the over under, if we could put up a bet, that's like will Ben Simmons, Kyrie, and Kevin Durant play over under 139 games for the Brooklyn Nets? I'm taking the under. I'll be honest. I'm taking the under big time.

The NBA should retire Bill Russell's number 6 league-wide

Retire his number. Yeah. All across the league. He was, I like, let's go Hank. He's got the MVP trophy right? So yeah. I agree. Retire his number. Yes. Good call Hank.

Ben Simmons' claim that playing with Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant would be 'scary' meant he was literally scared to play

[Ben Simmons] said, quote, 'It's going to be scary.' So I actually think he was correct about this. He was talking about, he was just expressing his emotions. He was like, 'I'm scared to play. I'm scared to play basketball.'

NBA players are often targeted on defense based on their appearance

When you look like the slow white guy, that's kinda like the, the worst is when someone's like pointing at you and the other guy runs up and the guy's like, no, no, no him. And if you're on the other end of that, it's it sucks.

Being deceptively slow is an advantage in the NBA

Because everybody's used to these dudes being so fast and when you change it up and someone goes slow, like it's tough to go from fast to slow... If I hit you with a six mile an hour, that's like Tim Wakefield and the knuckleball.

The Suns would be stupid not to match Deandre Ayton's offer sheet from the Pacers

Deandre Ayton might be a pacer. They signed an offer sheet. I feel like the sons will be stupid not to match it, but I don't think they like him though. Well, the sons are stupid.

Chet Holmgren will get dunked on so hard this year it will deflate his cockiness

He's going to get dunked on once so viciously this year. It will, it will take 5% of the cockiness out of him. I was going to say that right now, you know, someone's going to just yam, got to pay her dues.

Kevin Durant requested a trade because he is sick of Kyrie Irving

Instant takes, turns out. He might not like Kyrie anymore. It turns out he might've thought, Hey, Kyrie, isn't that much fun to be around.

Kevin Durant will stay on the Nets for one more year and leave in 2023

I think KD will be on the Nets this year. And then next year is when he'll be like, I'm out.

Paolo Banchero is the best player in the 2022 draft class right now

I don't think there's any debate that Paolo [Banchero] is the best player of the three of [Jabari Smith Jr.] and Chet [Holmgren] right now. The job is to go star hunting. Paolo just took over as a 6'10" playmaker dribbling off a high ball screens. To me that's what the game is.

Jeremy Sochan will be a winning player that every NBA team wants

I just think that [Jeremy] Sochan's got some way that he's wired, that he's going to impact games in a very unique [way]. I think he's the kind of guy, if it goes right, that every team's like, shit, we need somebody like that. He gets out there with his edge, his athleticism, and he just impacts basketball games.

Benedict Mathurin has the most 'dog' in him of any player in the draft

If you're just traveling on dog alone, dog alone, it would be [Benedict] Mathurin. He's got some juice to him too.

Dan Dakich's take that the Pacers were wrong to pick Reggie Miller over Steve Alford is stupid

He tweeted interesting Pacers are praised for picking Reggie Miller over Steve Alford in 1987. Yet Pacers have not won a single thing... what we do know is nothing was won with Miller. That's. I mean, that's a, that's a hell of a take... it's a stupid take and we'd debate it.

Derrick White was the worst player in the last two games of the NBA Finals

I was going to wear this shirt that we just came out with for Derrick White, who fucking sucks is maybe the worst player in the last two games. So that was just dumb on my part. Cause I thought about it after game three and by the time the shirt was made, he was just an absolute garbage can.

Bench depth doesn't matter in the NBA Finals; you only need a tight seven-man rotation

We know this every year we learn this every year. We forget it during the regular season, like bench doesn't really matter in the NBA finals in the playoffs, deep in the playoffs. Like it does because you need like one or two guys, but guys that were really good at playing bench minutes in February, like, you need, you need a five that is going to play like 42 minutes.

There will definitely be a Game 6 in the NBA Finals

I do think there will be a game six, unfortunately. Very scared about game four.

The NBA clearly has an agenda to extend the Finals series

The NBA clearly has an agenda, like factor fiction. And the NBA would like this series to go more games than four... having the Warriors win tonight guarantees it goes more than four.

Calling Steve Kerr overrated is the craziest take possible

It seems like there might be some, a group of people that think Steve Kerr's overrated, which is maybe the craziest take. That's one of those ones where it's like, we've all just we've exhausted every avenue of debate that we're now talking about Steve Kerr, who has, I think he has eight, eight rings total.

The Warriors will win the NBA Finals in six games

Warriors and six and I'm gonna eat a shit ton of meat in Boston.

Ime Udoka is the best at laying pipe among NBA coaches

You look at the Celtics Ime Udoka lays pipe better than any of these motherfuckers. Feels like he could spoil shit and he goes down. Yeah. She knows that he's not the whole package though.

Returning to the NBA Finals is the crowning achievement for the Warriors' core

This feels like the crowning achievement for this group, to be able to go back there [the NBA Finals] after all the injuries, after KD came and left after guys are in and out and they've rebuilt themselves with that core of Klay, Steph and Draymond, and Steve Kerr there.

If the Warriors rebound the ball well, they cannot be beaten

I feel like if they rebound, they can't be beat. And low-key, the Warriors are pretty good rebounding team. They're not the soft Warriors that people used to hate on a few years ago. I think they were like top five or top six in the NBA and rebounds this year.

Whoever won Game 5 of the Celtics-Heat series was guaranteed to win the series

I think if the, whoever won that game [Game 5] was going to win the series, Celtics are the better team.

The Warriors took Game 4 off against the Mavericks just to avoid the sweep and get a Game 5 gate

They up three [games]. Game four is in Dallas... they took a night off game four, 'Hey, let's make them travel all the way back out to the Bay Area... we'll blow they ass out.' They're playing with their food before they eat it. I got to believe it's over.

The Warriors might be Bulletproof and can come back from any deficit

The warriors might be the only team that can be Bulletproof... they can come back from anything.

The Celtics are the better team because they have won 10 out of 12 quarters in the series

The Celtics have played better than the Heat and every single one of the games. If you go by quarters, they've won 10 of them. Which to me means that they're the better team.

NBA playoffs are becoming less interesting because high 3-point variance leads to too many blowouts

There have been more games that have been won by double digits than games that have won by less than double digit. 38 games have been decided by double digits, 20 of those have been 20 points plus. It's essentially like which team just hits their threes in a given night. If your team makes all the threes, they win by 10 plus. If they don't, they lose by 10 plus.

The Warriors winning another title would be a nice 'thank you' for the era of great basketball they provided

I also think like, I don't know why, but I just want the Warriors to win another title just as like a thank you to them for all the awesome basketball they've let us watch. Everyone already knows they're all time great, but having that extra title after they're all past their peak... would be nice.

The Celtics vs Heat series will go at least six or seven games

I expected the US to come out and play really well tonight just because they were a very good team and it doesn't feel like it, it feels similar to the Bucks series where I think this will go back and forth. I think we're have a six or seven game series. I think this will go back and forth. I think the Heat will win one game in Boston.

The Suns are officially dead

Suns are cooked, absolutely cooked. We're calling it. This game. Sons are cooked, absolutely cooked. ... I've never seen in credit to the Mavs. ... It's a combo of like the Mavs playing great, but also the Suns forgetting how to like touch a basketball.

Chris Paul is a fraud

I'm going to call it right now. I'm going to use a hard D-bomb. What's that? Hank? A fraud. ... Chris Paul is literally the best NBA player of all time that has sucked.

The James Harden for Ben Simmons trade was a lose-lose for both teams

I think you go back to the trade and neither team won. It was the classic lose-lose trade, like both teams in, in a weird way, got a little bit worse from this trade.

The Celtics are still going to win the series against the Bucks despite blowing Game 5

It was a devastating loss. I still think the Celtics are gonna win the series. ... I think they're going to win tonight. It's a must win.

Eighty-three percent of the time the winner of Game 5 in a 2-2 series wins the series

If you look at it, that that is a correct, but the more important stat is 83% of the time that a series is tied 2-2, that winner of game five goes on to win the series.

James Harden plays worse in cities with high strip club populations

You know the stat that we were talking about a couple of years ago with James Harden and how he demonstrably plays worse in cities that have high strip club populations.

The Celtics win Game 3 if Jayson Tatum plays even average basketball

Jayson Tatum went four for 19. He did not play well... If he just plays average, they win that game.

I want Chris Paul to fail so I can keep making fun of Ryan Russillo

I really don't want to lose this take. I don't want him to win a championship. Then we can't have this take. That's very fun to throw around and just pretend that it's all about rings... Ryan Russillo has made it to a point where it's like, I want Chris Paul to fail because I know how much it matters to him. And that's really what male friendship is about.

James Harden is no longer an elite player or a number one option

We know James Harden actually isn't an elite player in the NBA anymore. He's not a number one option on any team. No, he's just not... James Harden isn't good enough to win a series on his own. He's not even good enough to make a series competitive on home.

The 'Many Womping' is officially back on for the Celtics

I was worried... but from my sources on the ground, inside the building, they said Grant Williams walked up to Giannis [Antetokounmpo]... the Many Womping is still backing up. I feel back. Many Womping back on.

Jason Tatum is as good as Kevin Durant right now in their respective careers

I thought that going into it, when we talked to Russillo, I was like, everyone's talking about Kevin Durant. Is there a chance that Jayson Tatum is just as good as Kevin Durant right now in their respective careers? Cause obviously Kevin Durant's a little older, a lot of injuries. Like this series, [Tatum] has been the better player. Not even, that's not even debatable offensive and defense.

Grayson Allen officially owns my life

Grayson Allen is my daddy. There's nothing more. So the Bucks is, he owns me. He owns my life... Grayson Allen owns me. I there's nothing more. I can say.

The Warriors are back

The warriors are back. I'd say that's the lead story. The warriors are back. Maybe not for long because I just placed a future on them, but the warriors are back.

The Nuggets will be title contenders next season once Jamal Murray and Michael Porter Jr. are healthy

The team when they're healthy, I think is still a legitimate title contender. So they're obviously missing Jamal Murray. They're missing Porter... I think next seasons nuggets, the day that the NBA finals are over, I'm going to put a big future on next year's nuggets.

The Warriors are my pick to win the Western Conference

The warriors are my picks. They're like, they're my pick out of the west. The warriors do have the ability to flip the switch.

Jayson Tatum is now capable of going punch-for-punch with Kevin Durant

Tatum has added that part to his game and can still go off for 40 in a playoff game. So you're right to expect the Tatum maybe hangs punch-for-punch with Durant. I think he's still a sliver below Durant, but that's not saying much to say you're just behind who I think is still the best offensive option in the NBA.

Chris Paul will get injured sometime in the middle of the second round of the playoffs

Have you decided what your spin zone is going to be when Chris Paul gets injured somewhere in the middle of the second round this year? ... Emergency podcasts [when the injury happens].

The Celtics will beat the Nets in six games

I think the Celtics are going to beat the Nets. I watched that game tonight that Kevin [Durant] and Kyrie [Irving] didn't miss a shot for three quarters and the Cavs... almost won... the Nets just don't have any defense... I think the Celtics are going to beat them in six.