Takes

Michael Jordan is the absolute definition of a 'winner', despite his flaws as an owner

Michael Jordan is not a loser... he is the definition of the word winner? Yes. Yeah, I would say so in like sees synonymous with winner more probably any athlete.

Dennis Rodman is a role model for finding a niche and becoming the best at it

I actually do think that Dennis Rodman is role model in a weird way in that if you can figure out something that you're the best at, it doesn't matter what weird little niche category it is in life. If there's one thing that you're better than everybody else that are more focused on, steer into that and get well really, really good at that and be known as the best to ever do that and you will be extremely successful.

Michael Jordan's switch-hand layup against the Lakers was completely unnecessary

The layup that Michael Jordan had in the finals against the Lakers where he jumps in the air and switches hands—completely unnecessary to do that. It's a cool-looking highlight, he didn't need to do that. You could have just done a finger roll with his right hand; he switched to his left hand because it looked cool.

Michael Jordan's hatred for Isiah Thomas is the strongest he's ever had for anyone

The last grudge I had and it's the best by far, Michael Jordan has never hated anyone as much as he hates Isiah Thomas and it's fucking awesome to watch how much he still holds onto it to this day... MJ just his hatred is so goddamn deep for him and it's fantastic to watch.

The NBA will never play again in 2020

I don't think they're going to play again ever. I heard a nasty rumor today... I've canceled sports for 2020 you guys got mad at me for that.

Jerry Krause deserves credit for the Bulls dynasty but his ego was a detriment

Krauss deserved more credit than he got but wanted more credit than he deserved. So he's constantly stuck in that spot where he is like I should be getting more credit and he probably in a weird way should but he wanted so much credit that it then became a detriment and a galvanizing force for those Bulls teams to be like, fuck you dude.

The ESPN horse competition was a complete failure

I'm so happy that I was adamant when they announce that horse was coming out and I said this is going to suck and everyone was like no it's sports or need supports. This sucks... The fact they put it on TV it ruined it.

I would not have a spot in today's NBA

No, not at all. I would probably be playing overseas... I'm glad I came along when I did. nowadays, if you assume that you gotta have a 40 inch vertical, you gotta be able to run the floor like a gazelle. No way I would have been able to keep up with the pace.

The NBA will not return to finish the 2019-20 season

Now I've come to the conclusion... I honestly don't see the NBA coming back. It's going to be hard... I couldn't see myself leaving my family right now to go and play in an isolated area in the bubble.

Rudy Gobert is essentially a savior for forcing the world to take COVID-19 seriously

Rudy was kind of like a bad guy, but he was almost like a savior... he possibly saved some lives by doing an immature act because after the incident, the NBA led the charge and shut down sports. From there it was a spiral where everyone else was like, 'it's time to shut down the world.'

Mark Jackson deserves more credit than Steve Kerr for the Warriors dynasty

Mark Jackson built that coach over there. Mark Jackson is on record calling the Splash Brothers the Splash Brothers. He's on record talking noise saying 'I got the best two shooters in the world.' Steve Kerr just happened to see the stroke go right.

Russell Westbrook is the greatest Thunder player ever, even if KD was the best

Russell Westbrook was the greatest Thunder ever. I didn't say he was the best player to ever play for the Thunder... the greatest is like a person who held it down... put up some great numbers. When you hear the name Thunder, you think of this person. Katie [Durant] left the door open.

Kevin Durant will win MVP next year

I actually think [Kevin Durant] is going to win the MVP next year on top of it... with him going to the Nets, I think it's going to be his team. It is his team.

The Lakers would have won the title this year if the season continued

The Lakers [would have won]. They were peaking at the right time. LeBron was on his way of challenging Giannis in my eyes to winning the MVP. They have the best duo in the league since Kobe and Shaq in Anthony Davis and LeBron James.

Old school NBA coaches are becoming extinct

It's a different type of it's not like old school no more. Like these old school coaches are coming extinct. It's a player's league. You got to have coaches that's going to understand the players... I almost think that Gregg Popovich's time is almost, you know, he's done a great job, but maybe it's time for new change.

I have absolutely zero interest in the NBA HORSE competition

We did have HORSE last night which I'll tell you right now. I did not watch did not tune into that. Zach LaVine, that's really the only Zach LaVine who competes in every single like off-the-books contest there is at the end that the NBA can throw at you. Chris Paul, Paul Pierce, really no interest in it whatsoever.

The NBA is definitely going to cancel the rest of the 2019-2020 season

I saw it briefly and scrolled right by it. And then this is the first time thinking about the fact that [Adrian Wojnarowski] kind of hinted that and NBA is definitely going to cancel the rest of the season.

The NBA's proposed Horse tournament on Instagram Live is the most boring idea ever

Adam Silver is considering having the best players in League Play horse against each other live on Instagram, which is just sounds like the most boring idea of all... there's no way like horse is the fun game when you're like five years old... I would rather watch these players go through their regular work out.

LeBron James will be super annoying and try to make the Michael Jordan documentary about himself

I already know the LeBron's gonna be super annoying during the MJ Dock and try to make it all about LeBron and I don't even think LeBron's in the MJ doc, which is sneaky awesome.

NBA owners should marry their players to circumvent the salary cap

Could an owner theoretically marry a player in order to circumvent the salary cap? It's actually brilliant, isn't it? I don't think any holes in that... Michael Jordan could probably adopt his son or he could just have a son play and just write more and more into the will every year.

A prime Lavar Ball would kill Zion Williamson one-on-one

Prime Lavar Ball versus Zion Williamson one-on-one? Murder that boy. Too small. He too soft. He too slow. I was way too fast for that boy in my prime. I will kill him. I was just too strong and too fast.

LaMelo Ball will be the number one pick in the NBA Draft

Melo was both of those [most popular and best guard]. So if you're going to start your franchise you want the people in them seats? You got to get Melo. Why wouldn't he be picked number one? Anthony Edwards and his wife? Who are they?

I would coach the New York Knicks to an NBA championship in one year if they signed all three of my sons

Would I coach the New York Knicks? I'm coach that team, but I have to have all three of my boys over there. If I have all three of them go to the championship one year. That's all it took me one time and then he said it down I'm gone. My boys play at a whole different level when I am there.

Zion Williamson will be fat coming out of the quarantine

I just realized that Zion's going to be so fat coming out of quarantine. Like all of us are going to gain weight. There's really you can't go to the gym.

The Lakers are going to the NBA Finals

The Lakers are in the NBA Finals. So congratulations to them as first reported by Magic Johnson. He said Laker Nation after seeing what I saw today from the Lakers defensively and offensively they are going to go to the NBA finals. There you go now there he did. Just beat the in this week. And they just beat the What would most people would say are the second and third best team in the league.

Kyrie Irving is a coach killer who got Kenny Atkinson fired

My other whose back is coach killer Kyrie. Oh, so Kenny Atkinson who was many people were saying was one of the better coaches last year took a young group... He got fired yesterday and people are saying it's Kyrie and KD... Kyrie change seventh head coach in nine NBA season Kyrie Irving.

LeBron James is exhibiting schizophrenic symptoms via his Instagram captions

His caption of him hitting that three-point shot... Me: I bet you won't. Me: Man who you talking to me. I'm talking to you... man you must not know me well... sounds like he's schizophrenic.

I believe I could give Kevin Durant a run for his money in a one-on-one basketball game

I'll most definitely... I actually like to make that happen. I actually think I give [Durant] a run for his money.

James Dolan staged the handshake with Spike Lee to create propaganda for the Knicks

I wouldn't put it past James Dolan. I would not at all this happens at all the time in spy movies and TV shows where you send somebody up to get long-distance snapshot of right looking like something inappropriate is happening and boom. You've got the propaganda right there.

LeBron James added six years to his career by missing the playoffs last year

I swear to God last year like just probably added another six years to his career just being able to sit out... it's incredible that he's still [playing like this].

James Harden didn't poop himself; it was just bad wiping

I'm like a poop spatter analysis guy and to me that just looked like his prolonged exposure to small amounts of poop that was on his butt. I'm just thinking he didn't wipe well. That's not like a shit myself top-down stain.

Jayson Tatum's scoring increased by 9 PPG since he connected his beard

Since Jayson Tatum fully connected his beard... first 42 games in the season he was averaging 21 points per game... The 11 games after he connected it 30.5 points per game. So he jumped up a full nine points... it is the true definition of look good feel good feel good play good.

If Zion Williamson is truly 300 pounds, he is the most impressive athlete of all time.

If Zion is 300 pounds, he's the most impressive athlete of all time. He's doing this as a 300-pounder... Better numbers than rookie LeBron. It's incredible watching him.

Brad Stevens being too nice to referees hurts the Celtics

Brad Stevens like his face and the fact that he treats refs was so much respect hurts him because if he just raises his voice a little he gets a technical foul. That was a bullshit technical foul. What kind of just calling a technical foul with a minute left in the game is also who does that?

The Heat, Thunder, and Nets are the most forward-thinking NBA organizations

I look at you know, you got to look at the Thunder I They've done a good job the Nets on the obviously getting KD and Kyrie. I think a lot of the Nets is situation has to do with creativity but also information... Indiana. I think has a great kind of culture already set... I like what Miami is doing right now.

John Beilein failed in Cleveland because he treated NBA players like college kids

I think he thought that what his methods were in college. Were going to work at the NBA level and it just wasn't even close... one person described him as a dictator and that's not the way you talk to NBA players... once that Thug comment was made and he went back and said nah, I'm at slugs. I think the players knew that that was never said.

I don't see any scenario where Anthony Davis is not a Laker next year

Anthony Davis any chance he goes anywhere, but the Lakers in this offseason? I don't see it. I don't see it... Could he take a meeting? Yes, but I just I don't see a scenario where he's not a Laker.

Markieff Morris is agreeing to a buyout and signs point to the Lakers

Pistons Forward Markieff Morris has agreed to a contract buyout League sources tell athletic... I do think it's the Lakers of the Raptors and the but I want to show you what we're still a might know... I'm pretty sure [Lakers] are the leader in the clubhouse.

Jayson Tatum's back tattoo is grammatically incorrect

He did get a new tattoo on his back huge tattoo God's will God's will mmm. No apostrophe though, God's will God's will is God's will... if he wants to be the best player in the league. He cannot have grammatically incorrect tattoo. Kind of sucks has been Kevin Durant people like didn't know he had tattoos till he was like five years ago. They were all grammatically correct.

Jim Boylen uses timeouts to delay the inevitable loss because he's a football guy

I think Jim Boylen is so disgusted with losing. He is a football guy in a basketball guys suit. He's so disgusted with losing. I think he uses timeouts the end of a game to literally stop time to delay the inevitable loss. I got you like he can basically say look, it's almost like it's almost like the end of Sunday Night Football when you're like, I don't have to go back to work.

The Cleveland Cavaliers will have five coaches in an 18-month span

I want them to fire their interim between the end of the season because they're going for the record. I think this is their fourth... I need them to get five coaches in like the span of 18 months. I think that's absolutely a hundred percent likely to happen.

College coaches moving to the NBA often fail because they treat grown men like kids

I love when that happens. When a college coach thinks they can go to the pros and be just as much of a dickhead as they were in college and then everyone in the NBA or NFL is like hey, we don't really have to do all these things that you're making us do because we kind of know how to do it ourselves.

The Chicago Bulls would have won the 2012 NBA Championship if Derrick Rose hadn't suffered an ACL injury.

If Derrick Rose doesn't go down... I think we're holding the trophy. We're the best team in the league. We got the job in my mind still to this day. There's no question. Nobody was fucking with us.

Kevin Garnett's refusal to be friendly on the court changed Joakim Noah's career and taught him 'no love in battle'.

I remember asking [KG] a question... just trying to be cool like I would just wanted to be I just want to say something to my idol and he just like looked over and he was like... who the fuck you think you talking to... that moment right there changed everything... I learned that there's no love in battle.

Joakim Noah is an NBA Hall of Famer.

There you are one of only five players to have a final four MVP, all-nba first team, all-defensive first team... Hakeem and Anthony Davis, Bill Walton, Jerry West... I think you're a Hall of Famer.

The NBA All-Star Weekend is ruined by gimmicks and 'LeBron-ification'

The LeBron-ification of the NBA really is actually the John-ification because he's terrible at drafting... And the Three-Point Contest has a four-pointer now. It's like, what is this Ice Cube-ification? I feel like an old man yelling at a cloud... It's not my NBA.

Andre Iguodala is the finesse king of the world

Andre Iguodala, the finesse king of the world, somehow sat out for half the year and is now getting paid more. He got two years, $30 million at age 36. And to live in Miami. That is... my guy got to promote his book, spend time with his family, get his mind right, and then gets to move to Miami and gets a shitload of money.

The Clippers got much better by adding Marcus Morris

I actually do think that the Clippers got a lot better. Oh, yeah. ... Marcus Morris, which is going to be awesome when they go up against LeBron. I feel like he's one of those guys in the league who... there's no LeBron stopper, but he's one of the guys who can make him annoyed. He wants to annoy LeBron to no end.

Andrew Wiggins will be the new Jeff Green and get traded constantly

Andrew Wiggins, I feel like might be a new age Jeff Green where he will get traded now. This will start the process of him being traded a million different ways. He's better than that, but a million different teams and everyone will keep saying, well, he's only 26. Well, he's only 27. He's got all the upside.

Al Horford might be a locker room cancer

It could be Al, though. I mean, he was part of the Celtics last year. They were a locker room disaster. People think it was Kyrie. They're a locker room disaster. What's a common denominator?