Takes

The Masters is 'above' selling gimmick hats with pimento cheese on them.

The Masters shouldn't have hats that you could like, that says like Peach on it, right? Pimento? I just feel like the Masters is like above that. The Masters has such a cool logo and they're so like strict with it that like that's all they need, you know?

Tiger Woods should just never drive again

He should just never drive again.

Jacob Bridgeman's wife is wrong; he is a better golfer than he is a person

Jacob Bridgeman... there was a clip on PGA tour posted from his wife that said he is a better person than he is a golfer. Not true. Not true, dude. You just won a PGA Tour tournament... You're a top 50 golfer alive right now. You're not top 50 human beings. Sorry buddy.

LeBron James is officially obsessed with golf

He is checked out. He's got the bug. He's officially obsessed with golf. I would like to see his YouTube stats... I think he's deep into the Pop Does Sports Universe. He probably watched the Internet Invitational.

Winning the Ryder Cup as a playing captain would make Keegan Bradley an all-time legend, perhaps better than winning a major

If he wins as the playing captain, you're an all time legend. All time... Winning as a playing captain might be better than winning a major. I think I could see that being the truth.

The Ryder Cup pricing is a mistake that ruins home field advantage

People are very upset about the prices for the upcoming Ryder Cup. Next summer at Bethpage... it's $750 for a day. Normally I would say golf fans probably have expendable money... but this is such a fuck you and a mistake to trying to get a home field advantage. If you price out rowdy New Yorkers who want to go to the Ryder Cup and scream heinous shit at all the Europeans, you've completely ruined this.

Matt Kuchar's stunt at the Wyndham Championship was a total douchebag move

Matt Kuchar. What a dickhead. What a douchebag. Hits into the group ahead of him on 18. And then just picks up his ball and leaves and says it's too dark. And came back on Monday to finish half a hole... it didn't win. Made people come back and sit there... Douchebag move by him.

Matt Kuchar's stunt at the Wyndham Championship was a total douchebag move

Matt Kuchar. What a dickhead. What a douchebag. Hits into the group ahead of him on 18. And then just picks up his ball and leaves and says it's too dark. And came back on Monday to finish half a hole... it didn't win. Made people come back and sit there... Douchebag move by him.

Matt Kuchar might have been taking a stand against slow play by refusing to finish on Sunday

I did see a golf journalist who had a thread breaking down why he might have been doing it... the group in front of 'em was playing super, super slow all day... maybe he was just trying to set a example of like, the guy should have been playing faster in front of them.

Donald Trump is a very impressive golfer for his age

Stick to sports. But he is a very good golfer. He did the video with Bryson [DeChambeau] and he, he was impressive... with like if you or I or PFT was playing with Bryson. It's doubtful that we would be have his [score].

Keegan Bradley being named Ryder Cup captain is an intentional 'make good' for his 2023 snub

It does feel like a make good, but it's, I mean, he's a great dude and he's gonna be a good captain. I just want him to be as petty as possible and like, maybe even call Zach Johnson and be like, 'Hey, you've made the Ryder Cup team, we need you on the team.' And then him be like, 'Really? That's awesome.' Like psych you bro.

Three beers is the perfect amount for playing a round of golf

Drank three beers and then the round ended and he ended up in a playoff and won the playoff... he was like, three beers are gonna make me play perfect. Like yes. It's the perfect amount. It is... for the people that say like, I need, you know, you hit a bad shot or you have a couple bad holes. You're like, I need to drink three beers.

Hank's backswing sucks

Bing bong your backswing sucks. White bow.

The Official World Golf Ranking's decision to ignore LIV Golf is absolute bullshit

The official golf world ranking has chosen to just ignore LIV golf as a real sport or league. Shit. So LIV golf players are not gonna be able to qualify for majors and things like that... it's a problem for them when you have LIV golf players that are winning majors to then say that the tour that they play on doesn't produce players that are good enough.

Searching through a golfer's old Twitter likes after they win is 'loser energy'

Tremendous loser behavior by anyone who does this. ... I don't care what side politics you're on If you see someone have the greatest moment of their life and you immediately, like, let's go through his likes and try to figure out what he liked on Twitter. That's loser energy.

Professional golf needs to bring back visors

Visors are a good look. I think we need to bring back visors. ... Gulf Digest had a study and they say for the first time in like 40 years, nobody in professional golf that's in the top 20 is a visor guy. ... we need one guy.

The Masters should never allow cell phones and should arrest anyone who breaks the rule

I hope they never do that [allow cell phones]. I hope they actually have like their own security staff arrest people that try to break the cell phone rule. I like Augusta as it is.

Bryson DeChambeau turned down playing with Brooks Koepka because he's a pussy

It's my understanding as a reporter that Bryson [DeChambeau] actively turned it down because he's a pussy and Batman wouldn't eat him.

The Masters deserves all the hype it gets and cannot be overhyped

You can't overhype the Masters. Take your microphone off. That's a bad take. The Masters deserve all the hype.

Patrick Reed's Masters menu looks like what a 14-year-old thinks an adult dinner is.

This menu really is like what a 14 year old would think an adult's menu looks like. He basically was forced to be like well I like steak and and I don't really like anything else. I like macaroni and cheese. I'm surprised chicken fingers weren't on here.