Takes

Taking apart a microwave is fatal because it contains an electric bomb

Do never, do not ever take apart a microwave because you'll die. You'll get electrified. They've got like a bomb inside of them. ... You have a nuclear weapon in your kitchen.

The pull-out method is the best and most effective birth control

This is why the pull-out method's just, it's the best. So much more effective. It's the best. Yeah. Works a hundred percent. You know where the semen's going? Yeah. Never have a problem pulling out.

I will be the first person in line to get the COVID-19 vaccine once it's available

I am going to inject myself when we get the vaccine. I'll be first to get that. I'll take what—acts will lead from the front on this one. Fill me up with whatever you need. Absolutely.

The butt is the easiest hole to get any disease through

I think the—let's be honest—the butt is the easiest hole to get any disease through. Yeah, I would say stay away from that if you're trying to fuck around with someone who's got Corona. All holes no go.

The umbilical cord acts like a snorkel so pregnant women can swim without the baby drowning

Umbilical cord is like a snorkel. So if you keep your belly button above the water is fine. That's actually fact for real. Yeah, that's how babies breathe.

You're only down money in gambling when you die

He will [win it back], because if you make him quit, then all that he lost is lost forever. That's true. He's not down yet. You're only down when you die.

If your man hasn't gotten in a fight over you in the last six weeks, he's probably gotten another girl pregnant.

If your man hasn't gotten in a fight over you in the last six weeks, he's probably gotten another girl pregnant.

Conception in doggy style makes you more likely to have twins

If you have sex doggy style, you're more likely to have twins. That's a fact. If she's on top, you're more likely to have a girl. If a guy's on top, you're more likely to have a dude because you're dominant.

You cannot get pregnant in a jacuzzi and pre-cum always results in a soccer player

Can't get pregnant in a jacuzzi. Pre-cum is a soccer player. All these are facts. These are just stone cold facts.

It is healthy for your dog to watch you having sex because it reinforces that you are the alpha of the household

I actually think it's healthy for your dog to see you humping because it reinforces that you're an alpha. And if they see you having sex, they're like, I need to respect this person more. That's just how the animal kingdom works.

Short people are being weeded out by natural selection

[Speaker 3] (1:21:17-1:21:25) No, if you look back in history, the human species has gotten taller as time has gone on, so the short people have been weeded out.

Farting is exclusively a male activity and women are not allowed to participate in 'fart culture'

That's not funny. It's not funny. It's kind of like some words some people can use, some words other people can't use... that's kind of what farts are like. That's not your word. We're allowed to fart. We're guys. We come from fart culture. You can't use it. It's ours. We own farts.

Flushing the toilet while someone is showering can cause them to 'shower in poop'

Hank brings up a good point. It messes up the pipes. The poop gets in the pipes... You're going to be showering in your own poop, yeah. I don't want it to be fresh.

Eating more fiber can fix irregularities with a woman's period

I think you just probably need to eat more fiber. That usually is what fixes those kind of things. It gets the whole system flowing... fiber is not only good for the digestion system, it's also good for the period blood system.

The moon controls both the oceans and human periods

The moon controls all the earth's oceans and periods so it's just kind of it just controls all the liquids in everyone's bodies that's why sometimes when guys look at the moon they start coming. It's just gravity pulling it out of her balls.

Pregnancy is controlled by a woman's mind and Plan B is usually a placebo

Plan B, to my understanding, is actually more often than not a placebo... it tricks the woman's body into thinking that actually she's not pregnant because pregnancy is controlled ultimately by your mind. Only mentally weak women will get pregnant.

Women carry up to two liters of extra blood during their periods

It's actually a fact. Women during their periods are carrying up to two liters more blood than the average human.

Guys need big pubic bushes to make their dicks look bigger

Evolutionarily speaking, guys needed big bushes to make their dicks look bigger... Right. I don't know if you've seen a lot of penises recently, but they're not great looking solo. So you need a lot of distractions.

Shaving your legs is a sign of wealth because not everyone can afford shaving cream

Shaving your legs was actually a sign of being rich in olden times because not everyone had shaving cream. So you should actually take that as a compliment. You're so rich, you can shave your legs. You must be real fancy.

In every pair of twins, there is an alpha and a beta pre-cum twin

You know how when you see twins and you're like, okay, that's the pre-cum twin and that's the real cum twin. You can tell. There's one twin that's always a little bit stronger, better looking, more gregarious. The other one's the pre-cum twin.

Pee on your hands releases pheromones that make women find you irresistible

If you don't wash your hands, you're actually preserving the pheromones that women find irresistible. So a little pee on your hands... actually turns women into soup. Just melts that labia clean off.

Being pregnant is technically a performance enhancing drug for female athletes due to blood retention and the 'glow'

Also, when chicks don't have their period, they retain more blood. This is a fact. That was blood doping... they have more blood in their body, which carries the oxygen to their cells faster... technically, being pregnant is a PED.