PMT DB
PMT DB
Daymond John on Shark Tank, March Madness Fears, and Darren Rovell's Non-Alcoholic Bender
Everything feels a little bit off right now. The Ivy League just canceled their conference tournament, and the reality that March Madness might be in jeopardy is starting to sink in. Big Cat is taking it particularly hard, essentially making a blood pact with the universe that he’d rather be sick than bored in March.
Big CatIf they cancel March Madness, I will intentionally contract coronavirus the next day
If they cancel March Madness—I'm not talking about playing it with no fans—if they cancel it outright, I will get coronavirus the next day. I do not want to be healthy in a world where March Madness does not exist.
PFT followed that up with some classic PFT logic, arguing that a virus might actually be a lifestyle upgrade compared to what the guys usually put their bodies through during the first weekend of the tournament.
PFT CommenterIntentionally contracting coronavirus is healthier than a normal March Madness routine
I think that intentionally contracting coronavirus at the start of March Madness is probably healthier on our bodies than what we normally do to it during March Madness, which is just live off nothing but chicken wings and delicious, copious amounts of Michelob Ultra.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
Darren Rovell is on the Hot Seat, mostly because he’s spent the last forty-eight hours defending the honor of non-alcoholic beer like his life depends on it. Big Cat thinks the brand-tracking guru has finally snapped under the pressure of his own spreadsheets.
Big CatDarren Rovell is legitimately losing his mind
Rovell is kind of a misunderstood but nice guy. I think he's losing it—like he is legit losing his mind. He's on a bender from non-alcoholic beer. This is what happens when you drink like 12 a day for a week straight.
On the Cool Throne, Fred Hoiberg is getting desperate in Nebraska. He’s adding actual football players to the basketball roster just to get some fouls and toughness on the floor. Big Cat is all-in on the strategy of just having a 300-pounder smash people in the post.
Big CatAdding football players to the Nebraska basketball team will change their morale and toughness
Nebraska, Fred Hoiberg has pulled out all the stops. Tomorrow against—I don't even know who—but Fred Hoiberg is bringing on Brant Banks and Noah Vedral to the basketball team. They are on the football team. I love that. He's adding toughness. At least it will be a bare minimum the morale and the attitude that the team will have will be significantly different.
PFT also took a second to shout out his DC Defenders, who are still dominating the XFL. It's rivalry week against Dallas, and the energy in the XFL Beast is at an all-time high.
PFT CommenterThe DC Defenders will beat the Dallas Renegades because it is rivalry week
DC Defenders still undefeated home first place in the XFL Beast. Okay, and it's Dallas week, rivalry week.
Daymond John
Recurring guest and Shark Tank legend Daymond John joined the show to discuss his new book, *Power Shift*. The interview quickly devolved into the guys pitching Daymond some of the most legally questionable businesses in show history, including a "Church Bar" where you can get a 36-ounce pour in a pew and an app called "Psyche" that helps you cancel plans at the last second.
Daymond tried to give some actual financial advice amidst the chaos, warning that the economy might be heading for a major correction.
Daymond JohnThe markets and real estate will crash in the next 6 to 12 months
Everything's going to crash over the next 6 to 6 months to 12 months. And then you buy it. Gold. Everything's gonna crash.
The conversation shifted to sports, where Big Cat asked Daymond about the Astros' sign-stealing scandal. While Daymond showed some height-solidarity with Jose Altuve, Big Cat wasn't letting them off the hook for the alleged buzzer systems.
Big CatThe Astros cheated way more than people realize
Did they cheat? Yeah big time. I'm not mad at them because they got somebody short like me on the Astro... he was wearing a buzzer that was telling what a fastball was coming allegedly.
Tom Brady Watch and Guys on Chicks
We closed out with a massive Leroy the Dog scoop regarding Tom Brady's dad shopping at the Patriots Pro Shop. PFT is leaning into the numerology of it all, predicting a very specific date for TB12's big announcement.
PFT CommenterTom Brady will announce his return to the Patriots on July 17th
Tom Brady is going to announce that he's coming back to the Patriots on July 17th. It's the 199th day of 2020. [Reference to Brady being the 199th pick]
However, there’s a real feeling that some coaches might not even want the circus that comes with a forty-two-year-old GOAT. PFT thinks Mike Vrabel might prefer a more boring option to keep the focus on his defense.
PFT CommenterMike Vrabel prefers a low-headline, mistake-free quarterback over a star like Tom Brady
I think that Mike Vrabel looks at quarterbacks the same way that he looks at kickers... which is I'd rather just have a guy that doesn't create headlines doesn't get like doesn't make too many mistakes and just trust my defense.
Finally, we hit a health-conscious edition of Guys on Chicks. When asked if the current global health crisis changes anything for the "eating ass" community, PFT provided a very stern medical warning.
PFT CommenterThe butt is the easiest hole to get any disease through
I think the—let's be honest—the butt is the easiest hole to get any disease through. Yeah, I would say stay away from that if you're trying to fuck around with someone who's got Corona. All holes no go.
If the world is ending, at least we’re going out talking about the Ivy League and non-alcoholic beer.
