Takes

Italian sprinter Lamont Jacobs 100% used steroids to win Olympic gold

Did [Lamont Jacobs] do it? Yeah, 100%. If you look at his Instagram photos from him like two years ago, he's like rail thin. And then if you look at him now, he's like kind of jacked.

The Olympics should have a separate division for athletes who are permitted to use performance-enhancing drugs

I think we should have world records for steroid users. Like we really should see how far—we should have regular world records, and then world records of how far can the human body be pushed with help of steroids, right? Humans would just become like a horse.

Olympic fencing should use sharper swords to make it more dangerous

I think they should have sharper swords and fencing. Like give me an element of danger. It should be death, death, death, but like maiming.

I could medal in Olympic handball because it is just gym class

I thought the easy first pick is handball. I absolutely can medal in handball. It really is the gym class of the Olympics. All you'd have to do is just do band workouts for your shoulder to develop like an 80 mile an hour fastball... I'm not going to ever lose to Croatia in this sport.

I could medal in pole vaulting if I trained for four years

I will go with pole vaulting. You just run, stick the stick... All you got to do is run straight and get the timing down. I'm going to be jacked by August.

I could medal in Olympic ski jumping by just going 'full send' once

I'm going to go with ski jumping. I'll just bomb it once and just go full send... and just land and crash and I'll have the longest one. ... I can stand perfectly still for about 10 seconds while I'm going downhill... and then you just do like one of those little springs at the last second.

American athletes are superior to Europeans in every sport

I think just for the record, if Europe's listening to me, America has superior athletes to Europeans. That's just a fact. We just do. Every single one of them is better than every European in every sport that any European has tried to play.

Winter Olympics athletes aren't that impressive; you just have to be born in the right place

The Winter Olympics are definitely the Olympics where you can sit there and if you watch it long enough, you can convince yourself you could have been an athlete in every single sport. It's not hard. It's just essentially like if you were born in a weird European country and they didn't have basketball yet, you would be a speed skater.

Europe is on the hot seat for being off its game across all sports

My hot seat, I've got the entire country of Europe. Europe has been off its game. They can't win at the Olympics. They can't win at the Ryder Cup. They lost England.

Swimming is not a sport; it is just a struggle to keep breathing

Swimming is not a sport. It's just trying to keep breathing.

I could win an Olympic silver medal in a swimming relay if I was on a team with Michael Phelps, Ryan Lochte, and Connor Dwyer

If you put me with Michael Phelps, Ryan Lochte, and Connor Dwyer, and we do the four-person 200 meters, I think we at least take silver.

Ryan Lochte should lean into his gas station incident by getting a gun sponsorship

If I'm Lochte, I think it's pretty simple actually. If I'm Lochte, I get sponsored by a gun company because you're not going to get held up if you've got a gun. I've got like some catchphrases already... Lochte and loaded.

LeBron James would be the best of all time in any Olympic sport he chose

Could LeBron James dominate this sport? And the answer is always yes. If LeBron decided not to play basketball and instead was a swimmer or a high diver or a handball player or a soccer player, he'd probably be the best of all time.