Takes

Bad Bunny was incredible and the funniest part of Happy Gilmore 2

I laughed out loud multiple times at Bad Bunny's parts [in Happy Gilmore 2]. He was really good. Very funny. Very funny.

Hulk Hogan was a significantly better professional wrestler than he was a person

Listen, we'll, we'll say it right now. Hulk Hogan. Significantly better professional wrestler than person.

Hulk Hogan is one of the top American exports of all time

Maybe Top American export. The world knew who Hulk Hogan was.

Twitch streamer Stable Ronaldo will go insane trying to beat Elden Ring in a padded room

He has locked himself in a padded room... Doesn't know what time it is until he completes Elden Ring... He's setting a pace for, for maybe insanity.

Coldplay staged the viral Kiss Cam moment for publicity

I feel like Coldplay might have set this whole thing up because we're talking about Coldplay online. Coldplay's getting talked about more than they've ever been talked about so much.

Jerry O'Connell is using his separate finances as an excuse to avoid paying for the PMT fantasy league

He's throwing us a song and dance about how he only could pay for a third of the leak. He's, he's saying a lot of things about how he has to explain things to his wife. No, I I it's more I'm disappointed. Yeah. Like he, he's taken us for a ride.

Con Air is a bad movie because the plot is ridiculous

Our first pick is going to be Conair. Mm. I feel like that's a good movie. It's a really, but you think about the plot of the movie. It's bad.

The next season of Always Sunny in Philadelphia will be the funniest one in a decade

I think that this season that's coming out today or tomorrow is the funniest season, maybe the funniest season we've ever done. That's a pretty high bar, but definitely the funniest of the last like, decade.

You are naturally less funny the better shape you are in

the better shape you are in, the less funny you are just naturally. ... Unless you tell your friends in the show, I did this for you. And the friends are like, what the fuck are you talking about? Why? And he did it just to like impress them, but they're not impressed by it.

Michelangelo is the best Ninja Turtle because he is the only true 'party dude' and stays chill

Michelangelo Ninja Turtle party dude. Party dude. He literally just eats pizza and parties. And I think extremely true. I think as much as Raphael wants to fuck April O'Neal, I think, I think Michelangelo is what? April? O'Neal. Lusts after... He's a part, literally is a party dude. He's always trying to keep everyone chill.

The Gallagher brothers should break up during the Oasis reunion tour to stay true to their brand

I would be disappointed if they didn't break up during the tour. That means that they've changed. And I want the same Oasis. If you're buying tickets for this, part of the rush is spending all that money... not knowing if that concert's ever gonna go.

Optic Texas is officially back-to-back world champions and their greatness can't be denied

My Cool Throne this week goes out to the gentleman at Optic Texas. They defeated the Vancouver surge... back to back champions. First ever in history. Back to back champions. I'm not even Optic guy, but you can't deny greatness. Mercury back to back. Never been done.

I look hot in my Britney Spears Dungeons and Dragons costume

I'm Brittany Spears. Zac said he didn't realize Brittany Spear gonna be a women's costume until after he bought it. So I got bell bottoms and a wig. I actually, I think I look hot.

Winning a Dungeons and Dragons game with artificial heals from a teammate is an asterisk win

I actually don't want to beat the dragon if we're getting artificially healed from you. Right? It's like that's asterisk peds.

A Dungeons and Dragons victory won with artificial heals is not a 'bubble game'

It can't be a bubble game. ... We gotta kill this dragon. So we'll go Norm.

E11EVEN in Miami is the #1 place in the world to celebrate a sports championship

Crowd surfing with the Stanley Cup at 11. If you've been to 11, it is quite something. That might be the number one place to celebrate a championship. It's, I don't even understand how 11 exists. It's a club that's also a strip club, but not a strip club.

Morgan Wallen is fully back after his recent controversies

Morgan Wallen... he had some controversies, you know, throwing a chair over their ledge... I just feel like he was a fantastic star. I think he's so back.

I connect with Peyton Manning because I am also a middle brother

What about you and your brothers playing the Manning Brothers? ...Part of me is like, yeah, I'd like to do that and I'd like to be Peyton. I feel like I connect with him as a middle, as a middle brother.

Aaron Rodgers has moved on from Ayahuasca because it is too mainstream now

I think Aaron's probably moved on from Ayahuasca. I think he wanted to blow it up and, and he, you know, he took his ayahuasca trip... but now so many people are doing it that Aaron's like, this isn't cool anymore.

Magnus Carlsen is no longer the GOAT of chess because I've only seen him lose for 48 hours.

I'm gonna say right now, Magnus [Carlsen] not the best. 'cause I have been watching chess religiously for almost 48 hours now. And all I've seen is Magnus lost.

Anne Hathaway has a fixation for scouting gritty athletes like OG Anunoby and Danny Woodhead

Anne Hathaway is back. And if you look at the stats. A guy Riggs posted about this OG Anunoby ran into Anne Hathaway Courtside. He was jumping outta bounds to save a ball. Since that moment he's been, he's had 24.3 points per game. Now Anne Hathaway is leaning into it. So she's like posting pictures of OG Anunoby on her Instagram. The one other obscure ish athlete that she's developed a fixation for over her career was Danny Woodhead. She's a massive Danny Woodhead fan.

Modern music fans have a high 'bullshit meter' and can easily perceive when an artist is being inauthentic.

I think authenticity right now is so permeable and perceptible. If something's bullshit, it screams bullshit. Especially on the feed, you're like, oh man, that's a real dude that, oh man, here's horses shit. You know, like, it bleeds in your hands.

The 'Banana Boat' crew would have kicked Gabrielle Union off the boat to fit Carmelo Anthony

I'm kicking my wife off the banana boat... I don't think we would get a, I don't think it would've been a banana boat [with all four]. But if I have to kick somebody? I'm kicking my wife off.

The reports of Bill Belichick's engagement to Jordon Hudson are fake news

I will wait until you know, Ms. Hudson and, and Mr. Belichick report this themselves. I do not believe, you know, the New York Times, fake news media. This is just a report as far as I'm concerned. ... I don't think Bill knows.

Tom Cruise used Top Gun: Maverick to make people forget about his Scientology controversies

Tom Cruise... Scientology thing is very weird... He just was like, yeah, I'm gonna put out a new Top Gun and everyone's gonna forget about that. ... It felt like the block was getting a little hot with the documentaries and everything. He's like, I know. Top Gun two. People won't care anymore.

The show 'The Librarians: The Next Chapter' looks like the dumbest show of all time

The librarians, the next chapter. They're showing these commercials in all these games. It like it. I can't believe it's a real show that is being made. It looks like this is the best whose guy ever dumb this fucking show of all time.

The Rock is the best movie ever made

The Rock is Back. And if you haven't seen The Rock it may, it might be the best movie ever made... It is the perfect movie. It's got everything. Sean Connery, Nick Cage, prisons, terrorists.

Bill Belichick is likely having a baby with his girlfriend Jordon

If I had to give one piece of advice to Jordon, have a baby. No, no. With Belichick, with Bill. Have a—let's get a baby in this thing. Consummate this love with a baby. A baby in the mix of this would be one of the greatest stories.

AI can make a song for Spotify, but it can never replicate the live performance experience

It could never replicate the live experience though. So maybe AI can make a Spotify song... but you can't, you can't beat a live show. And that's the one thing I think some DJs lack is that they just, you know, I think adding in all these extra elements will make it dope.

Live human performances will never be replicated or beaten by AI

It could never replicate the live experience though. So maybe AI can make a Spotify song... but you can't, you can't beat a live show. And that's the one thing I think some DJs lack is that they just, you know, I think adding in all these extra elements will make it dope.

Warren Zevon is arguably the greatest songwriter of all time

Warren Zevon might be my favorite songwriter of all time. And he's, he's deserved being in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for a while. It's insane he wasn't.

Jordan Hudson is a smart marketer and the brains in her relationship with Bill Belichick

She's an incredible marketer. She is. I think she's the brains in that relationship. Jordan, if you can land us Bill Belichick on PMT, you can interrupt as many times as you want. We're a Pro-Girlfriend podcast. That's fact.

Bill Belichick may be in a 'reverse conservatorship' with his younger girlfriend

It feels like reverse. Using an older person with the younger person... you get a little older and you can't take care of yourself and then someone comes and takes care of you and then also takes everything.

Season 1 Tony Soprano is the hottest man who has ever lived

Season one Tony [Soprano] is the hottest man ever that's ever lived, dude. Like the, and that's all I want. The girls who wanted to fuck him, that's who I want to fuck me. That's how I live my life.

The card collecting community is mostly comprised of gatekeeping losers

I had the entire card community come after me and they do not like me and they are fucking losers... it's the gatekeepers. And the guys who are like, 'actually'.

It is more likely that Sydney Sweeney DMs Hank than it is for Augusta to invite him to play

You work on the, at the number one sports podcast in America. You think it's more likely that Sydney Sweeney [messes with] you than Augusta invites you?... I kind of agree with them. No one plays at Augusta. It's impossible. I kind of agree with them.

White Lotus Season 3 is the worst season of the series

I'd put it clearly number three. I think clearly number three, I think season, I'm gonna go season two. Yeah. Then season one. Barely. And then clearly season three.

The Ratliff fake-out suicide arc in White Lotus Season 3 was annoying and repetitive

The Ratliff story was, was one of my biggest issues... that was like the sixth time we had a dream sequence slash something happened where they tried to fake us out that he was committing suicide or killing his family. Enough of it.

The twist of Walton Goggins killing his father in the White Lotus finale was 'cheap'

Walton Goggins in like the last 10 minutes kills the guy. And then the other woman's like, 'why would you do that? He's your father.' It's like, come on... That felt a little ham-fisted. It was just a little cheap.

The latest Blink-182 reunion is for life

This is the third iteration of Blink-182. And people still wanna buy albums and listen to our music... we can't fuck this up again. The third time is just, we will be a joke at that point. Like, if we're getting back together as the three of us, it has to be forever. And that's it.

People will discover in my book that I am smarter and darker than they think I am

I think that people are going to discover that I'm smarter than people think that I am. And that also I'm a lot darker than people think that I am. I'm very honest in the book about my struggles and about my shortcomings and the difficulties that I've had... This dude really is goth in his soul.

The WWE Championship is essentially a de-facto office position with leadership responsibilities

What I really quickly found out is that it is almost a de-facto position in the office. It's a bigger position than just man and tights wrestling. There's a layer of responsibility, like a team captain. And especially for being a good guy character, to have the title this long is rather unheard of because everyone just tries to murder you every week.

John Cena is a dick for trying to invalidate my authenticity

One of the big disagreements John Cena and I have had is he feels I'm not authentic enough or as authentic as he was. And I think at this point I'm pretty confident in who I am. To some people he's still John Cena, the hero, and to other people, especially the younger audience, he's kind of a dick.

I will defeat John Cena at Wrestlemania 41

You have to win in those moments. Otherwise the master was always the master... The only way you can do that is beat John Cena. Which is why I can't have that pizza.

April Fools' Day is the lowest form of comedy.

I'm done with this show. I'm done with this episode. I'm opting out for the rest of this episode. Because April Fools is the lowest form of comedy.

Being the partner of a massive celebrity like Sydney Sweeney is a 'down bad' situation in the short term but ultimately better for your long-term sanity.

So down bad right now. But yeah, I think long term would have, you'd have to be a very confident man to be able to deal with your fiance or wife having the entire internet be horny for her at all times. So... I think long term he's probably gonna be like, you know what? That was, that was gonna be tough.

The Impractical Jokers are 'sex creeps'

The impractical Joker suck ass... turns out two of the four creeps. Sex creeps. Allegedly. Allegedly. It was Joe and it was Myrrh. Allegedly. Okay. So Joe alleged, well I also wanna say for Joe, he has now checked himself into inpatient treatment. Smart for being a sex creep... Joe Gato is seeking treatment for, I guess being a sex creep. So he is been hitting up high school girls, hanging out with them, touching their stomachs, doing weird shit. And then Mur was allegedly deeming a bunch of underage girls too.

The character we saw at the end of the Severance finale was actually Outie Helly

I feel like the real theory is that it's Outie Helly at the end of the episode. Because she brings him in back and smiled at Gemma. And Irv said Innie Helly was never cruel. And it was kind of a cruel looking smile when she looked at Gemma and was like, 'I won.'

Jim Morrison might still be alive and faked his death in 1971.

My other who's back of the week is Jim Morrison, maybe. Oh, he might be alive. Apparently there's a documentary on Apple TV that claims that he's still alive. He says that he did not die in Paris in 1971. They said that he faked his own death and there was never an autopsy done. I think he lives somewhere in the Midwest right now. The liver king might still be alive.

Helly is going to kill her father in the Severance Season 2 finale

I want death. I want multiple deaths. Oh, I think Helly's gonna kill her dad. No, I mean, she's showed... she tried to kill herself. They think that she's her daughter who's like the whatever of the company, but they don't know Hellie down there.