Takes

Nico Collins is a top three wide receiver

Is Nico Collins a top three wide receiver? 'Cause it feels like he is. He's awesome. He's so good.

Carson Beck's sleeve tattoos are a bad look for a quarterback

I have a theory on Carson Beck. I think the, I think the tattoos are too much for a quarterback. That's just not a quarterback's look. ... If you have tattoos on your throwing arm, that tells me that you definitely took at least a few hours away from practicing.

Al Michaels is at his best when he is visibly annoyed by the quality of football

When Al Michaels is at his best now is when he's annoyed with the quality of football. And he was so annoyed. He gets into surly old man mode very early on in the first half. He was just like, well this is awful. This is terrible, Kirk, get me outta here.

Antonio Pierce is overcorrecting with his 'hard-ass' first-year coach act

I just feel like he's, he might be doing the, the hard ass first year head coach thing. Like he might be overcorrecting where he is saying he might also bench Gardner Minshew... he's doing the, it's the classic hard noses first year head coach thing where he is like, 'I'm gonna fix everything immediately.'

Shohei Ohtani is a better global superstar and better at his sport than anyone ever

Do you remember when I came on the show and you guys relentlessly tortured me for saying McDavid was better at his sport than anyone else in the world. I've now switched it to Ohtani. And I'm like obsessed with watching this guy play baseball. And it might be Travis Hunter. No, Tani... nobody's done consistently offense and defense in the NFL... it's not, it's insane watching this guy.

Joe Burrow must change his hair color and get rid of the frosted tips because you cannot lose games with that look.

The only fix I have for the Bengals is Joe Burrow has to change his hair color. You can't be 0-3 with those, with that hair... get rid of the frosted tips Joe... you gotta cut your hair... you can't lose with Frosted Tips.

Josh Allen is the second-best quarterback in the NFL

Josh Allen is what a franchise quarterback looks like. And we've said it a million times. Just because he's not Patrick Mahomes doesn't mean he's [not] the second—he is the second best quarterback in the NFL.

Fox's Big Noon Kickoff is 'bullshit' because it ruins the atmosphere of Penn State's White Out games.

That's Fox's fault. Big 10. Fucking Big 10 kickoff is big Noon kickoff is bullshit... it's like a really big thing in college football... they burn your whiteouts on, on Lame Games.

The Chicago Bears are the most under-marketed entity in American commerce

I don't believe that there is a more under-marketed entity in American commerce than the Chicago Bears... in this city... it's a football town... and with the Bears, you know, in '85 and like that was, it was just, it engulfed everything. And they've been living off it since.

Nick Sirianni does not deserve to be let off the hook for his poor coaching despite the Eagles' win

I'm hoping that Max doesn't let [Sirianni] off the hook. Yeah. He doesn't deserve to be left off the hook. They won the game and they were the better team in this game... That was a horrible display of coaching from him today.

The NFL should ban the Wildcat because it takes the ball out of the quarterback's hands

Ban the fucking Wildcat. It hasn't worked since fucking the Dolphins and Ronnie Brown. Like stop doing the Wildcat. You just take the ball outta your quarterback's hands. It makes no sense.

Deshaun Watson has overcome too much in his past

I disagree with him [Johnny Fanta] about Deshaun. If there's a knock on Deshaun, he has overcome too much in his past.

The Rams' win over the 49ers was a coaching masterpiece by Sean McVay

I just felt it going in, the Rams kitchen sink. Sean McVay is such a good head coach. They are down so many guys, they're gonna find a way... that was a coaching masterpiece by Sean McVay.

Matthew Stafford is a Hall of Famer

Matthew Stafford, Hall of Famer. Matthew Stafford has 99 total wins in his career... almost half of Matthew Stafford's wins have needed Matthew Stafford to have a game winning drive. He's an absolute baller when it comes down to late game situations.

David Montgomery and Jahmyr Gibbs are the best running back tandem in the NFL

Lions also got back to basics of just pounding the rock... I'd say best running back tandem in the NFL.

I am dangerously close to buying in on the Seahawks as a legitimate team

I am getting very close to buying in on the Seahawks... Mike Macdonald seems to be a very good head coach in three games. I am dangerously close to believing in the Seahawks.

Shohei Ohtani is the best baseball player of all time

I'd say that this, he is the best baseball player of all time. Whether or not he'll have the best career of all time is kind of up for grabs. But we've never seen anybody that's doing what he's doing.

The Eagles' coaching staff is currently talentless and should just consist of coordinators with no head coach

[The Eagles] are a player led team. It's true. Just coordinators. No head coach. [The coaches] are not talented right now... talent's not something you can just, like, it doesn't go up and down. No. Yeah, it's not a hot and cold thing.

You should never have a quarterback wearing number 19

Skylar Thompson wearing number 19 is terrible. That's a bad quarterback name number. It's Johnny Unitas and nothing else. You can't, yeah. Number 19... it's a just warning sign that this is a very backup quarterback.

A football team's true identity is revealed by the 'second quarter' of the season (Weeks 5-8)

I think by the second quarter you should know like, this is the first quarter, first four days... I think by the second quarter, man, you should know the type of team you got. You should know if you a running team, if you're a play action team, or if you're on defense and you, you, you are a defense that stopped the run.

The hip-drop tackle ban is difficult to enforce because players just react in the heat of the moment

The whole thing is to get him down... You're not saying, oh let me do this illegal tackle so that I could tear his ACL or break his ankle... You don't have time to gauge like, oh, it's my helmet going to come in contact with his helmet... You just go and you just react. I think all of this stuff... nobody really thinking about what the defense gotta go through.

The Eagles should have run the ball twice on their final offensive possession

Running the football there... I'll even get crazy here. Ready? Ready for this Max. I think you run it twice and you get a first down because you're the Philadelphia Eagles and no one can stop when you run it with your biggest offensive line in football.

The Eagles defensive line is horrible

I took notes... D-line. Mega bad. [Bryce Huff] is horrible. Like horrendously bad. Like he shouldn't be.

David Tepper chose Bryce Young because C.J. Stroud was 'too close' to his wife

Apparently Mrs. Tepper loved C.J. Stroud. Oh no. Like loved him. He call, oh, he calls her Mama Tepp. Oh no. So that's why David Tepper and then David Tepper is like, wait, I could have C.J. Stroud built like a statue seems real close with Mama Tepp or the short guy. Mm. That's just a real good friend. Wow. He's got a great personality.

Diddy killed Biggie Smalls

Diddy's a bad guy. And my take, I don't, this isn't like an a wildly original one. I think Diddy killed Biggie. Think about it. Think about it... when Biggie died, you remember Diddy was like all over tv. He did that. The video. I'll be missing you. Yeah. Like that he made his entire career about Yeah. Biggie. That is something that a psychopath killer would do.

Urban Meyer's coaching style would not work in modern college football

I have a ton of respect for Urban, but I don't think his style of coaching is overly conducive with today's college football. He's a grinder. Yeah, absolutely... That's a small portion of why Saban walked away. Like he couldn't coach the guys the way that he wanted to anymore, the way the guys probably need to be coached. But you now you have an out... Rick Trickett... referenced me as the dumbest motherfucker... every single day. You can't do that anymore.

This victory over the Lions might be Todd Bowles' signature win as the Buccaneers head coach

The Bucs, you called it the gutsy one of the week. I think this might be Todd Bowles' signature win. He won a playoff game, but I'm gonna give Todd Bowles his signature win this week. This is signature win for Todd Bowles. We've all been waiting for one.

Brian Flores is a great defensive coordinator but not a good head coach

The Vikings defense kind of ate you up a little bit. Brian Flores, he's a good defensive coach. Not a good head coach. Good defensive coach. I think that might be a mark of a great defensive coordinator, if you hate quarterbacks that much.

The Bengals are the team the Chiefs fear playing the most

I think you proved that now that Joe Burrow's back, you guys are the hardest out for the Chiefs. That's a fact. If you ask Chiefs fans, if you ask Patrick Mahomes, you ask Andy Reid, you hit him with truth serum and you're like, what team do you not wanna play? It's the Cincinnati Bengals.

Josh Allen is the only quarterback in the NFL other than Patrick Mahomes worth taking over everyone else

I don't think there's a guy besides Patrick Mahomes that you would take over Josh Allen. He's played awesome in two games so far. And this was supposed to be kind of a reset year for the Bills... He's still Josh Allen. That's what having a franchise quarterback looks like.

Social media 'hacking' claims are 100% fake; people just mess up and use it as an excuse

Whenever someone says they're hacked, they're not hacked. They just fucked up. I don't still don't really understand how [Shannon Sharpe did that], 'cause it is a couple steps to go live [on Instagram].

NFL safeties should be worth a red zone start for the opponent rather than just two points

I think the perfect thing to do for a safety instead of two points, which we agree is not enough points for a safety. Give the ball to the offense on the one yard line. Or to the other team... so if you get tackled in your own end zone, it's a turnover. The other team gets the ball on the one.

Winning games matters more than Caleb Williams' individual progression right now

I would take the win [over progression from Caleb Williams]... Because the progression will come. Winning games is the best. I don't care how it happens. Get me to 2-0. What you and I [Max]... best case scenario, both things happen. But if he doesn't have a great game, having a win is a nice consolation prize.

Golfing for fun while sober is a terrible experience

Do you still golf for fun? [PFT] Soberly? No. [Talor Gooch] Smart answer. Yeah. Correct answer. The only answer.

Playing golf in shorts is at least a two-stroke advantage per round

It's so much nicer [to wear shorts]... I'd say at least two [strokes]. Really. Yeah.

The perfect length for a round of golf is 12 holes

I've always said 18 holes is too many... I think it's 12. Because like the 'black out', right? 13 through 17... 12 is 'cause 12 also is like, you could go golf and be done in two and a half hours. And that's like, for me personally, I would love to golf more, but I can't be like, hey to my wife, like, hey, I'm, I'm gone for next six hours.

The Celtics are attacking the next title rather than defending the old one

Joe Mazzulla, Celtics coach, was doing an interview and they asked him about how he feels about defending the title and he basically just took down the term forever. He said the phrase 'defending a title' is a very passive-aggressive term. If you look at the animal kingdom, some of the strongest animals don't defend—they're the most aggressive and they attack the most. So we're attacking the title.

Winning the Olympic gold medal was a more special experience than winning the Masters

I think the Olympics is probably a pretty tough one to beat... green jacket is something that I always grew up dreaming about... but when you get the green jacket, there's a lot of rules. Whereas the gold medal, there's no real rules. The amount of people that have seen the gold medal, taken a picture with the gold medal, that part's been really fun.

Jalen Carter is a dirty player who tried to injure Jordan Love

The grass had nothing to do with that injury. You can blame Jalen Carter for being dirty, dirty player. Trying to injure people. Yeah. I think that would be the more the blame.

NFL teams should be penalized if they kick a kickoff out of the back of the end zone

In order to make teams stop just trying for touch backs every time... They gotta make it worse. They gotta say you get the ball at the 35 if it goes [out the back].

Dylan Raiola is creepy for stealing Patrick Mahomes' entire identity

The Dylan Raiola thing is creepy. Like, I'm actually creeped out by it. How he's trying to steal Patrick Mahomes's life. It's weird. It's the mannerisms, the way he was warming up was basically a copycat for Patrick Mahomes. And the hair is exactly the same. It's weird.

Deshaun Watson is a better human being than football player because he is so bad at football

Deshaun Watson's so bad at football now, I think you could say that he's a, a better person than football player. I would say as good as he is a quarterback, even better human being. Yeah. That's how bad he is in football now. Yeah. He's a better human than football player.

Bo Nix is the heir apparent to Jameis Winston

Bo Nix might be the heir apparent to Jameis. He's one of the funnier on field quarterbacks. 'cause everything that he does, he does with Supreme confidence. And when he throws interception, he throws the fuck out of the interception.

Jay-Z picked Kendrick Lamar for the Super Bowl halftime show just to spite Drake

Jay-Z doesn't like Drake. So he basically did the opposite. He took Kendrick. Also, Kendrick Lamar. Yeah. They're just gonna make it to the Drake can never watch a Super Bowl again.

Robert Kraft and Bill Belichick have beef

I think there might be beef there between Belichick and Kraft. Do you think so? I I mean I'm What would, listen, I wasn't able to make a, a definitive statement on it until I figured out who he followed. Yeah. [Belichick] follows 12 people... No Patriots, no craft.

The MLB challenge system is better than using full robot umpires

I really, I do like the human part of the game... I think if we're gonna go any anywhere with it, the challenge system, but I think it's, I think full on robot strike zones is, it kind of just removes the purpose of a catcher a little bit.

Men posing with their arms around each other is the weirdest thing

We as guys, we as guys gotta stop doing the arms around each other. This picture. It's the fucking weirdest thing we do... There's nothing worse than doing the awkward like post golf round. Yeah. 10 dudes just standing with their arms around each other.

Kyle Shanahan taking Jimmy Garoppolo to a Super Bowl is more impressive than actually winning a Super Bowl

Kyle Shanahan, he took Jimmy G to a Super Bowl. That actually might be bigger than a Super Bowl. Yeah. That might be more impressive than a Super Bowl.

Robert Saleh would have been fired by now if he weren't bald

I'll take Robert Saleh. Robert Saleh bald head. I think Robert Saleh would've been fired if he didn't have a bald head. I think If you had hair, he would've already been fired. I think the bald head, you just see it and it's like power. Is it too intimidating? It's shiny. Bald, yeah. I just think there's something about him. The aura.

Kristin Cavallari is lying about having the best sex of her life

Kristin Cavallari said that her boyfriend, Mark Estes, Montana boy, who's 13 years younger than her, she's having the best sex she's ever had. It is, but it's also if you have to publicly say you're having the best sex you ever had, you're lying. The minute you say you have the best sex ever, everyone's like, dude, that's a lie.