Takes

I am not spending 12 hours of my Saturday watching mediocre college football

I'm not locking in my entire 12 hours of a day on Saturday, the only day we're not in the office, to to watch a random ass week one game when there's only like three good ones... Your happiness comes from watching 12 hours of football and watching State Pittsburgh. Your happiness is from golfing. You should do what makes you happy.

Jalen Hurts and Dak Prescott are not currently top 10 quarterbacks in the NFL

I'd probably say Jordan Love [at 8], Nine Tua, 10 Rogers... I would put like the Trevor Lawrences, Hertzes, Daks, Her Cousins, Herberts, those guys are writing that like kind of next group.

I won't get FOMO about Drake Maye sitting because the Patriots are in a rebuilding year

I'm not gonna get FOMO about Drake Maye not starting. Our offensive line's bad. I think our roster's not great. It's okay. It's a rebuilding year. I think you let's embrace it for what it is.

Patrick Mahomes would be worth over $100 million a year on a truly free market

If the NFL was truly free market capitalism, [Mahomes] might go to the Panthers. David Tepper... he might go for over a hundred million dollars.

The NFL should have a separate salary bucket for quarterbacks to keep rosters competitive

Separate salary bucket for quarterbacks. That makes sense. Basically let the quarterbacks get paid something completely separate so it doesn't, again, the cap is, doesn't make sense, but they're so out of control compared to everything else.

College football is better off with a 12-team playoff and it doesn't diminish the regular season

I think this day is a long time coming for college football. Anybody that says college football is worse off for the playoff is lying or just grifting... it doesn't diminish the regular season at all. It makes us have way more games that matter in November.

Half the fanbases in the SEC are delusional about their playoff chances this year

There's eight fan bases in the SEC that think they're going to [the] playoff this year... of those two [Ole Miss and Missouri]... [Missouri is] an eight and four team... Texas A&M, that's delusional.

Allowing private equity investment in NFL teams will make the league 10% worse.

The NFL is considering approving private equity investment in teams... It means it's gonna suck. The league is gonna get 10% worse because private equity, they're gonna come in and they're just gonna try to figure out how to streamline everything. They're gonna fire all the mascots.

Boeing should be on a hotter seat

Boeing explodes during maintenance at an Atlanta airport killing two Delta employees. I feel like they should be on a hotter seat. I wish I knew if I was flying on a Boeing or not... allegesly. But don't kill me.

I will not draft Travis Kelce for moral reasons related to his podcast

This is the number one sports podcast. Yes. That's it. There is no other sports podcasts. There will be no talk of that person [Travis Kelce] on this... No Travis Kelce on our team. I love that. Good, good. Take a stand.

Jason Tatum's All-Star MVP trophy tattoo is negative 5,000 aura

To me this just calls into question his aura even further. Negative 5,000 Aura. How's getting a tattoo of force? Because he likes All Star MVPs then. That's also a terrible trophy.

Jameis Winston is worth $4 million a year just for his pre-game speeches and vibes

His pre-game speech videos continued to go viral... he gets paid $4 million a year and I think if he only acts as a motivational speaker, he's worth $4 million a year to have on retainer. It is worth paying Jameis Winston $4 million a year just for vibes.

If you are down 14 in the 4th, you must go for two after the first touchdown

Quick analytics question for you. You're down 14 and it's the fourth quarter and you score with three and a half minutes left. Are you going for two... [Freeman says kick]... That's wrong. It's a math thing... you go for two. If you get it the first time, then you can win the game with an extra point. If you don't get it, the analytics say you're gonna get it the second time statistically.

The PMT crew would beat any other podcast in a swimming relay

I think as a podcast though, we could beat pretty much any other podcast in a swimming relay. We showed some impressive skills [at Barstool Summer Camp].

If you are ultra-wealthy and don't own a sports team, you're a weirdo

I'm fully supporting Jeff Bezos buying any team because it goes back to my original, my longtime take that if you're that rich and you don't own a sports team, you're a fucking weirdo.

Jalen Brunson is a top 10 player in the NBA

I can't remember loving a player this much... I think it's fair to say he's at, he's in the convo of a top 10 guy in my opinion. He's definitely in my top 10.

The ESPN NBA halftime show is terrible compared to TNT's Inside the NBA

I don't wanna watch [Stephen A. Smith's] halftime show. It's awful. When they go from TNT to him, I'm like, this is the biggest turnaround [downgrade] I've ever seen. ... It's just not good TV to me.

Jayson Tatum has no aura

Boston is an amazing team, but they're just not fun. No. Tatum is not fun. He has no Aura. Tatum is like, once your mom starts being like, this isn't fair. It's like, shut the fuck up dude... No, you don't get greatness from a supportive mom. You need a bit of like, yeah, maybe he should be on the bench.

Kobe Bryant is overrated relative to the all-time elite tier

I don't want to say what I think—Kobe's, he's very overrated. Because he is rated so high. Like he gets talked about like LeBron or Michael Jordan. I don't think he's in that spot. He wasn't the best player on the three-peat team... Shaq was an absolute monster.

Kevin Warren's chair selection scene on Hard Knocks was riveting television

The scene where [Kevin Warren] was talking about the different chairs... that was riveting television. They're designing suites for their stadium that doesn't exist. And Kevin Warren's making executive choices about whether or not you want a high top chair with a back... these are the decisions that a president has to make.

The Matthew Judon trade is a loss for the Bears because he chose the Falcons over them

The Patriots gave Matthew Judon the option of which team he wanted to go to. And he chose the Falcons. New England believing the Bears and Falcons were in similar category... Judon obviously picked Atlanta.

Jannik Sinner's steroid excuse about a trainer's massage is complete bullshit

The explanation is his trainer... accidentally sliced his thumb. And then used one of those new skin type sprays on his cut... and then later on in the day, gave Sinner a full body massage. And that's how the chemical got onto Sinner's body. If an agency is named [the International Tennis Integrity Agency], it's explicitly corny. There's no better mark that that agency is completely full of shit.

Kirk Cousins has surprisingly good taste in music

This guy [Kirk Cousins] has good taste in music now. Or maybe, maybe we're just washed. It's actually 90% of a pop punk playlist. These are actually, this is our set list.

The first few weeks of college are the best time of your life and you should embrace it

Every year, no matter what, it's these last two weeks of August when I see kids going back to college, I'm like, fuck. That was, that's it. It is the fastest four years of your life. So just embrace it and like close your eyes and live in the moment. September is such a joke in college. You don't go to any of your classes. You don't have to worry about anything.

Brian Flores is a 'terrible person' for how he treated Tua Tagovailoa

[Tua] went on Le Batard show and basically said that Brian Flores was doing mental torture on him. And he said, if you woke up every morning and I told you that you suck at what you did... Brian Flores actually came out and said like, 'I've evolved and yeah, I kind of fucked that up.' [PFT says Tua said he was a terrible person]... It sounds like Tua is to Brian Flores as Big Cat is to the chat.

The difference between being cocky and confident is knowing yourself and working harder than everyone else

I think the difference [between cocky and confidence] is knowing yourself. I also think the difference is it's the people around you and how hard you work... hard work always builds confidence and hard work always pays off. It always, you know, at the end of it gives you a check mark.

Crying after a loss shows how much I care about winning and shouldn't be seen as a sign of weakness

When we win the Super Bowl, I'm hoping that we have multiple people out there crying tears of joy. So when I lose, I know how important it is that these games that we win and lose... if a tear drops, it's how much I care for winning and losing. I would much rather someone have that emotion than no emotion or laughing after the game.

Fever Tree is currently the best ginger beer on the market

I'm actually trying to create my own ginger beer with not as much sugar. I love it so much... You gotta try Fever Tree. That's the best one right now. And then when mine comes out, that will be the best one out.

I would press a button to win 10 Super Bowls even if it killed one Bears fan

[PFT asks if he'd press a button where one fan dies but he wins 10 Super Bowls] I think I take it. 10 Super Bowls. That's a lot of Super Bowls. That's, that's great.

Admiring art in a museum is exactly the same as being a sports fan

Admiring art isn't that different from watching football. You spend all day, you pay like $15. You go to a big building and then you look at a screen on the wall and then that screen makes you feel emotions. A lot of times when you go to the museum, you get the headset and someone's explaining the art to you... You've got like a play-by-play guy for the art.

Patrick Mahomes is so good at football that he is throwing behind-the-back passes out of boredom

I said that it should have been taunting running that play because Patrick Mahomes is now bored of football. He's so good at football that he he can't play like a normal quarterback because it's too easy for him. So he just ups the difficulty level. Now he's throwing behind the back passes.

Caleb Williams' preseason rollout throw to Rome Odunze was so impressive that all the haters should suck my dick from the back

[Caleb Williams] dropped that rollout to Rome Odunze and I lost my mind and went back to telling the haters to suck my dick from the back. I'm just very excited for week one and I'm very excited to just get on the rollercoaster.

The worst NFL team would win gold in Olympic flag football with only one hour of practice

I think if you took the worst NFL team and then made them the flag football team, they would probably win the gold. An hour. They'd probably pick it up an hour.

Connor Stallions would be a massive weapon as a scout for a gambling company

I honestly think that this guy could be a weapon in the gambling space. Have him do one pick a week, go out, scout whatever you want to scout. Unlimited budget. He's a one-man CIA.

Current political polling is useless because voters cannot maintain a consistent opinion for more than three days

I think a snapshot of any polling number right now is the dumbest... the swings in a very short amount of time. It's because no one, no one side can keep their shit together for more than three days. I don't understand like, the polling of one phenomenon that we have. I don't know that the tides are turning nearly as fast as everybody's pretending as it does day to day.

College football realignment has killed the cultural and visual identity of the sport

What I loved about the sport was that a PAC-12 game looked like a PAC-12 game. And then culturally, when you would visit all of these different places, the fan bases were lined in a very conference... It just made sense. Now it feels off. It feels weird. The death of the PAC-12 is sad. It's sad. It is sad.

John Oliver's monologues are only convincing to people who don't actually know anything about the topic he is discussing

John Oliver's monologues are probably the best in the business. They're unbelievably convincing until he does the one on the topic that you know. ... If he did an NBA one... I'd go 'you're fucked.' ... It's the accent and a great setup on HBO. I can't hang with that.

The leak that Stephen A. Smith might pursue acting is a transparent and unbelievable contract leverage move

There was an article recently about Stephen A.'s new contract and it was like, if they can't figure it out, he may go to politics, he may go late night, or he could get into acting. ... But acting? Because he was on General Hospital a couple episodes? Come on. ... Acting? Come on.

Skip Bayless genuinely believes his own contrarian opinions about LeBron James and Tim Tebow

The one person in the history of the world that thinks that LeBron sucks and Tim Tebow is great... he truly believes that. ... I appreciate how crazy he is. ... what an insane person to have on TV.

Grit is being a badass, tough person willing to do anything to help the team win

Oh, man, it's a, it is a badass, tough motherfucker willing to do anything to, to help the team win.

I will have a same 'fuck you' feeling every time I play the Raiders

It always gonna be that same, that same feeling every time. I see those colors on the other side.

Offensive linemen should be the craziest players on a football team

You want your o-line [to be at the top of the crazy list]. I low key, I prefer the o-line to be at the top of that list. Yeah. But nowadays it don't seem like it's a lot of like crazy o-lineman.

The ShopVac is the most versatile tool out there

The ShopVac is gritty. It is, yeah. Because you don't have to, like, you can, I mean, pretty much anything, you know, you can, you can suck up with ShopVac. I love it. I, you could say I love the, the versatility and I love the grit factor of the shop back.

Rhythm is the essential basis for all success in sports and life

The basis of it all is rhythm, whether they realize it or not... All of these Rhythm Masters that I interviewed are winners. They know how to go there, how to stay there, and they know how to win... without rhythm, there could be no sports.

Boobs are officially back in style and the undisputed 1-1 pick for soft things

I'm going boobs. Correct. Boobs are back now. Sydney Sweeney brought boobs back for a while... And I'm glad that they are. Yes. Very soft.

It is a soft move to block people on Twitter during an argument

Blocking people on Twitter during an argument. I understand people block people on Twitter, but when someone will get in an argument and then just block the person when like they're about to reply. That's the softest thing in the world.

As you get older, you grow into your instrument, not out of it

One of the things [Mickey] said that really stuck with me is, as you get older, you grow into your instrument, not out of it.

Matt Kuchar's stunt at the Wyndham Championship was a total douchebag move

Matt Kuchar. What a dickhead. What a douchebag. Hits into the group ahead of him on 18. And then just picks up his ball and leaves and says it's too dark. And came back on Monday to finish half a hole... it didn't win. Made people come back and sit there... Douchebag move by him.

Matt Kuchar's stunt at the Wyndham Championship was a total douchebag move

Matt Kuchar. What a dickhead. What a douchebag. Hits into the group ahead of him on 18. And then just picks up his ball and leaves and says it's too dark. And came back on Monday to finish half a hole... it didn't win. Made people come back and sit there... Douchebag move by him.

Matt Kuchar might have been taking a stand against slow play by refusing to finish on Sunday

I did see a golf journalist who had a thread breaking down why he might have been doing it... the group in front of 'em was playing super, super slow all day... maybe he was just trying to set a example of like, the guy should have been playing faster in front of them.