Takes

Tom Brady returned to the Buccaneers on the condition that Bruce Arians was removed as head coach

I think what really happened here is people with brains will agree that there was some sort of deal made between Tom Brady and the Glazer family... he told them that he was going to come back on the condition that Bruce Arians is no longer [there].

Todd Bowles is a top 10 NFL head coach

Todd Bowles coming back pulls my top 10 NFL head coach... sometimes you just say things out loud. If you have a take and then you look dumb for a couple of years after the fact, but then if you wait long enough, guess what that takes coming back around.

Step Brothers is one of the funniest movies and is aging very well

The other one that I think holds up is Will and Adam McKay's movie Step Brothers. I feel like that one is aging very well. Every time it's on you just can't shut it off.

Max Homa would be the worst golfer of all time to win the Masters if he pulls it off

Max [Homa] would be the worst golfer of all time to win the masters... I'm saying this from a place of love, max would max home of the be worst golfer of all time to win the masters.

I am the greatest 7th round draft pick underdog in NFL history

I'm a seven round draft pick. That's why I call myself the greatest underdog seven round draft pick here I am in going into year eight. And I kind of proved myself to be one of the best offensive tackles in the game.

Villanova should officially be considered a basketball Blue Blood

If you look at, you mentioned Bluebloods, these are four. I would even say Villanova might be a blue blood... I would take away one drop of blue blood from Kentucky, like Elizabeth Holmes, and I'm giving it to Villanova.

LeBron James only cares about breaking the NBA scoring record now

LeBron dropped 39 tonight... and they lost... literally all he does is score points for the record... classical LeBron, Hey fellows. Remember one thing a woman will always love and vibe with a real true player.

MLB should adopt the Savannah Bananas rule where a fan catching a foul ball is an out

Banana ball rule number nine, if a fan catches a foul ball, it's an out and it happened and it went viral... I feel like the majors should consider... if they did that to the majors, that'd be, that would change the game with home field.

Drew Timme does not have the killer instinct

I'm going to say it right now. Drew Timme doesn't have the killer instinct. I love that [drop step] move. But yeah... [Chet Holmgren] got in foul trouble and they kept just going right at them.

Michelin stars should be abolished because there is no baseline for modern comparison

Quite frankly, I would rather not see stars anymore at all. Nowadays it's just how you compare. And there's a pizzeria in Jersey City that is great, but it got three stars. How do you compare that with three stars that, you know, Jean-Georges got? So there's no baseline for understanding what that review even means anymore. That's why I think they should just get rid of the stars.

ADHD is an asset for professional chefs

I think if you actually really did a study, you'd find that a probably a greater percentage than the regular population has ADHD. I think it is when you're... hyper-focused... if you need to be in a situation where there's constant stuff coming at you and you need that stimulus working in the kitchens... I could cook 20 things at a time because it just felt right. I was in my zone.

Leftover Thai or Chinese food is best eaten cold directly from the fridge

Thai, Chinese... cold in front of the refrigerator in the morning. It doesn't get any better than that. Thai and Chinese is the correct answer. Cold. Don't heat it up.

The ultimate leftover life hack is the 'Stuffing Waffle'

I like taking my stuffing leftover stuffing and putting into a waffle machine. No batter, just straight stuffing, pressing waffle, and then the turkey over the top of that. The gravy on top of that. And now we're talking.

Ordering a steak 'Medium Rare Plus' is a 'Karen' move

I officially accept that medium rare plus is a thing. Okay. At the same time, just kind of a Karen move to order... I acknowledge its existence as well. I personally prefer [to not be an asshole].

Duncan Robinson is a 'pussy' for not getting involved in the Heat bench fight

Friend of the program, Duncan Robinson, when the Miami Heat were all fighting each other, he like backed off and didn't do anything kind of like a little bit of a pussy... I think like when there's a fight going on, you should probably in some way [help].

Matt Ryan is the most Indiana-looking person in history

He's the most Indiana looking person maybe ever. There's perfect. Like you created a video game character and you stopped halfway through because you didn't really care how much detail you wanted to put on his face.

Every pro athlete should be allowed to beat up one fan per year

If we just had my rule of every single player in every sport gets to pick out one fan a year and peat every living shit out of him, sports would be more fun.

Urban Meyer's health issues during coaching stints are an ego-driven defense mechanism

I really think that the worst punishment that they could have had for him is not firing them, but just making him continue to coach and lose on the Jaguars... those the the mental issues and like the the fake sicknesses that he would have... his entire ego is built around him being successful and beating people that when there's even just like a small crack in that foundation of him starting to think, maybe you're not as big a winner... he just crumbles.

Eric Musselman is the most innovative coach in the Sweet 16

There's no question. It's Eric Musselman and it's Eric Musselman versus the field. I mean, he he's, he he's very unique... he's going to find different ways to guard you and they don't panic. That's the thing about Arkansas.

Malik Willis' pro day throw was 10 yards further than Zach Wilson's famous throw

Malik Willis to the same throw that Zach Wilson did, but just 10 yards farther. Just wanted to add that as a little note at the end.

Scott Drew's tweet about how hard it is to repeat is 'major loser energy'

Scott Drew tweeted it, which I feel like is just major loser energy. He tweeted a graphic... showing all the national champions... that either didn't qualify for the tournament after they won the title, or they didn't get very far... That's a weird thing to do. You let your fan base say that because it is hard to repeat.

Kentucky's blue blood status should be on the hot seat

I actually think that we should not talk about coach Cal being on the hot seat as much as we should just put the status, the blue blood status of Kentucky on the hot seat. What have you done for me lately Kentucky?

Russell Wilson feels the need to tell everyone he is working harder than them at all times

I feel like that was just such a Russell Wilson thing. Like that's just who he is now. He just has to tell everyone that he's working harder than everyone at all times. I'm not going to let him just get by with the bullshit.

Any SEC team that finished .500 or better in the league deserves a tournament bid

any team in our league that finished 500 or better deserves to be in the tournament. I've been in the big 12. If our resume was on the board in the big 12, we would be right in the middle of the whole thing.

You cannot win in the NCAA tournament with bad guard play, regardless of your center

You cannot win if you got a great center and you got bad guard [play]. You got to have really good guards. If you don't have good guards, it's hard to win a game, let alone in the NCAA tournament.

Gonzaga will become the 'new Duke' if they win the title

Gonzaga becomes the new Duke if they win. They really do... Mark Few is not as likable as I think Zag fans think he is... I think in Gonzaga not winning the title is actually great for college basketball.

Tom Brady un-retired because he didn't want to share his Hall of Fame induction with Ben Roethlisberger

Tom Brady saw the writing on the wall. He's like, five years now. I don't want to get my [Hall of Fame] ceremony cut by big Ben [Roethlisberger]. So I'll just cuck the kids and stuff.

The West is the toughest region in the 2022 NCAA Tournament

I think that the west is the toughest region right now. There's landmines in the west.

Tennessee got screwed as a 3 seed and should have been a 2 seed

I think that Tennessee got fucked too. They did. Tennessee got dry fucked. Her three seed. They should have been at two seed should have been one of the top two seeds, in my opinion, duke fucked duke. Yes. Duke, fuck Tennessee. Tennessee should have that two seat.

Amari Cooper is perpetually not as good as his hype

Amari Cooper is firmly in my mind, a guy who like just is perpetually, not as good as his hype. He's a guy who you will forever want to be a clear cut number one. And he will never be that. So you know what I'm saying? Like, you're always wanting Amari Cooper to be the guy. And I don't think he ever will be the guy. I mean, CD lamb's better than him.

Texas A&M should have been in the NCAA Tournament field

I thought that Texas A&M, you know, should have been in the field. I thought the committee did a really, really good job. But I think when you look at what they've done did the last couple of days... having neutral site wins against teams, the caliber over in Arkansas and an Auburn compared to everything else. I thought it was pretty impressive.

The NCAA should allow all automatic qualifiers to advance into the round of 64 and have the final eight at-large teams play in Dayton

I firmly believe that the NCAA should allow all the automatic qualifiers to advance into the round of 64. And then the final eight at large teams should be playing in Dayton. And then it gives us an opportunity to really jumpstart the tournament with four heavyweight showdowns.

Malik Willis has the most fuckable spiral in the 2022 draft

Number one. Malik Willis. God damn moon bomb. And the thing is, I love how the ball turns over on his long balls. It points up when it's going up and when it's going down, it points down and it looks like an absolute cruise missile.

Jabari Smith is the best jump shooter I have ever coached

Go ahead and doubt [Jabari Smith]. Good luck. I'm just telling you do not doubt that kid. He is one of the greatest competitors that I've ever coached. He's the best jump shooter I've ever coached, and that's actually at any position.

Road House is the greatest movie ever

Road House, like you ever seen Road House? Greatest movie ever. All time. All time. There's so many good one-liners.

Moana is a legitimately incredible movie

That movie is awesome. I don't know if anyone's seen Moana with the Rock. It's a legitimately incredible movie. I'm at the point now where I'm like 'How about Moana?' and [my son's] like 'Nah, Mickey Mouse.'

Russell Wilson's trade to the Broncos is a bigger story than Aaron Rodgers staying in Green Bay

I think Russell Wilson is the bigger story. Russell Wilson is definitely the bigger story because [Aaron] Rogers staying in at the Packers was kind of expected. Ish. Russell Wilson go to the Broncos is like, whoa.

The NFL's TV audience would drop by half if all gambling and fantasy football were erased

If you took away gambling, if you made, if you had a button where all gambling, everything like illegal legal was just a race. No one could bet on anything. What do you think the NFL's TV audience would do? Half? Yeah, probably about half. It would be crazy.

Coach K is the best coach I ever played for across all levels

He's the best coach I ever played for high school. AAU college, six, six coaches in the pros, I think. Yeah, he was the best coach I played. He was the best coach I played for.

The five greatest current 'basketball geniuses' in the NBA are Draymond Green, Chris Paul, LeBron James, Rajon Rondo, and Ja Morant

I'll give you the top five, top five. Okay. So [Draymond], Chris [Paul], LeBron, Rajon Rondo. And I'm gonna, I'm going to go with the guy that Draymond mentioned on the pod and that's Ja Morant. I think Ja Morant's... already a basketball genius.

Kevin Durant is also a basketball genius because of his obsession with the game

Yeah, he is. He is. A lot of guys that are basketball geniuses... they are obsessed with basketball and they watch basketball... I think [Durant] out of anyone in the NBA right now, I think he loves basketball more than anyone.

Ben Simmons is actually right-handed but shoots left-handed

I've told Ben that [he's right-handed]... he disagrees with me, but when I watch him, right. He does it with his right hand. If I asked him to throw, he would do it with his right hand... I think he's a right-hand person that shoots the basketball left-hand.

The era of larger-than-life legendary college basketball coaches is dying

We're going to lose... an era because when Jim Boeheim goes out to pasture, Rick Pitino, who knows where he's going to go next, Cal... the era of these college coaches that are bigger than life, it feels like they're dying. The guys we have right now are not old school legends... they're not like these Titans that feel like hovering over it.

Once you mentally transition into wearing shorts for the spring, you can never go back to pants

Once I mentally transitioned into shorts, I just don't go back. And so I'll get caught with like wearing these shorts when it's freezing outside, looking like a fool... but I can't go back and officially made the mental transition. I'm a short, skinny.

Joe Rogan is not a racist

I know him to be a lot of things. A racist is not what he is. I can promise you that. He's a lot of things. Trust me. I don't, the guy's fucking flawed. Like all of us... My dad says, I'm very proud of the son I raised that you will be a loyal to a friend in a moment like this.

People lie because they are afraid of the negative reaction to the truth

The thing I struggle with... people that lie a lot, they lie because of the reaction that they were getting, when they would get in trouble. It's like almost a defense mechanism. Right? I created a paradigm within which [my daughter] was not allowed to grow and learn because she was going to fuck up again. But now she was so scared of watching me fly off the handle... that I taught her. The new thing is to lie.

Kliff Kingsbury could have had the Oklahoma head coaching job if he wanted it

I get a call from somebody, not in the Kliff Kingsbury camp, connected to the [Sooners]... and they said, are you aware of the fact that Oklahoma is kind of after him? ...I made a couple more calls and found out that if he wanted that job, he could have it. Now. Now it was portrayed as I'm giving Kliff Kingsbury leverage. I could care less.

Madison Airport (MSN) is an 8.6 out of 10

Final ratings... I'm going to say now this is obviously on a curve because the regional airport... I love how small and quaint it is. I'm going to give it an eight on eight and a half. ...PFT: 9.1... Hank: 8.1... Let's say 8.6 for the people. 8.6. It's a pretty good rating.

Zion Williamson is a better player when he is fat

I'm going to say something controversial. I think that Zion Williamson is a better player when he's fat. I want him to get fat. Well, in fact, well he D he doesn't play right now. He's a better players to get fatter. Yeah. He just needs to get so fat that they roll them out there.

Derek Jeter sabotaged the Marlins on purpose

I, you know what I agree with Marlins man. Yeah. I think Jeter fucked up the Marlins on purpose.