Takes

The Buccaneers are still top-tier contenders because they can win with their C-game

I'm not going to like ding [the Bucs] for that because... you didn't get a A+ effort from the box and they still won with their C game, which actually is a better sign for... it's like very good. It was a trap game.

Stephen A. Smith refusing to mock the Cowboys is the meanest thing you can do to a fan

By saying this, this is the most he could ever make fun of... saying you're not even worthy to be made fun of, I feel so bad for you... I'm taking away the very last smidge of relevancy that you have is me making fun of you when you lose. This is the meanest thing that we could ever do to you.

Humans are more effective and cheaper than robots for retail inventory

Walmart has stopped using robots to do inventory because they realize that humans were actually just as effective and cheaper. So cool throne humans were cheaper than robots.

Chasing gambling news regarding COVID-19 absences never works out

I feel like it never works out if you immediately bet Boston College for Saturday Clemson's not going to win. Like 55 instead of 45 and so like it will just blow up in your face. I just chasing it just never works. For some reason. You just can't like whenever you think you got to beat on it. You just don't

Clayton Kershaw should be the World Series MVP

Clayton Kershaw World Series MVP, why not? I'm hoping that well—no, he's not going to pitch on Tuesday. I feel like they'll give it to him, right?

Ryan Tannehill's success is officially not a fluke

Ryan Tannehill good is we made all the jokes in the world, but the Step has been taken and it is fully been taken. This is not a statistical anomaly anymore because last year the end of the year, we're like, oh he's doing it. But he's just playing out of his head. We're now six weeks into the 2020 season... He's good.

Le'Veon Bell will sign with the Patriots

In which case I think we can all agree. He's probably going to go to the Patriots because that's what always happens.

The Vikings are the 'best worst team' in the NFL

The Vikings are fraudulently bad... They're the best worst team in the league right now. It would not surprise me if the Vikings beat any team in the league.

LeBron James is officially the second-best basketball player of all time

I still think MJ's better but like LeBron is incredible. Yeah, he's won four titles. What can you say? ... He's the second best player of all time. That's really nice honesty.

I love the Panthers to beat the Falcons

Panthers-Falcons, start there. Falcons, this could be the end for Dan Quinn. I have said many times I'm going to respect Teddy Bridgewater more and that's why I love the Panthers in this game.

Doc Rivers will never be able to successfully ditch his nickname for 'Glenn'

He is going to get rid of the Doc Rivers nickname and just go by Glenn and somehow he thinks that that's just going to happen. Yeah, that doesn't happen. You don't go from a Doc to a Glenn because of anything.

The Lakers will win the NBA Finals in five games

I still think the heat will or the Lakers will probably win in five, but it was good the Jimmy Butler reminded everyone like it's not a fluke that they're here.

I never gave up on Sam Darnold

I'm happy. I never gave up on that guy. But no, I did like Sam Darnold's toughness where he got body-slammed and I think he broke his shoulder but then went into the locker room was like, this might be my only chance to get a win this year. I have to play.

The Lakers will win the NBA Finals in 5 games

Shoot, Lakers in five, Friday night. You know what, let's do it.

I am betting a front-runner parlay on the Yankees and Lakers to both win titles this month

I might put a front-runner parlay down and go Yankees, Lakers, the Cowboys, Alabama football, and Duke basketball this year. We're going chalk.

The Patriots are terrifying because they can change their offensive identity every week

The scary thing about the Patriots is that they just change they morph every single week. Now the you know week one they ran week two they passed week 3 they ran again and I don't know when you have Cam Newton and you can just like all right this week. We're just gonna play bully ball. Oh next week. We're going to throw the ball. That's the scary thing.

The NFL should require the highest-drafted quarterback to start behind Ryan Fitzpatrick for three games

They should make a rule that whoever drafts the highest quarterback has to start Fitzpatrick for at least three games at the start of the season. So like Trevor Lawrence when he goes to the Eagles, [Fitzpatrick] should have to start for them.

Intelligence is better defined by curiosity and problem-solving than by memorization

I submit to you that most challenges in this world are best served not by someone who memorized the encyclopedia but by someone who has a deep sense of curiosity and tools to empower that curiosity to figure stuff out.

Zendaya's Emmy win was not a 'biggest upset' because fans were happy about it

She won the Emmy for best actress and the New York Post wrote an article and it said biggest upset in Emmys 2020 over Jennifer Aniston and more... Zendaya stands were all very upset because they're like no one's upset about this like this. No one's upset. Like this is a great thing.

Managing COVID-19 protocols is more important than roster talent for winning in 2020

I think more important than everything to win this year's is who handles COVID the best, who handles social distancing the best so that they can have the best players out there.

Coach O is the alpha in a room full of SEC West coaches

In coaching especially that you got national championship coaches... I would say Coach O probably would win in the end... he would probably bring his own 600 pounds of crawfish to the table too.

Cam Newton is healthy and the Patriots offense looks very promising

Cam Newton looks good. He looks healthy... the Patriots were very promising. Yes, very, very good. I would watch these two teams [Patriots and Seahawks] play every single week.

LeBron James is definitely winning the NBA title this year

LeBron's gonna win [the] title... I ran some simulations and they're all kind of coming out the same way.

Brad Stevens is not on the hot seat even if the Celtics get swept

If the Celtics lose game three is Brad Stevens coaching for his job? No. Mmm. I wasn't gonna say that Hank I'm being serious is Brad Stevens on the hot seat right now? No if they get swept? No, no, he's not on the hot snot on my season.

Tom Brady will have a massive 'get right' game against the Panthers

I think Tom Brady's going to eat this week and everyone's like, oh my God Tom Brady's back. Yeah Bruce Arians did the classic Bruce Arians thing where he just spent the entire week making fun of Tom Brady.

Aaron Rodgers will shave his beard into an ironic waxed mustache by Week 10

I have a prediction to make about Aaron Rodgers facial hair this year. So he's growing out the big hipster beard... at least by week 10 or 11, he's going to shave it into an ironic mustache. I even think he might do the curly cues. Yeah the cowboy he's gonna do the waxing thing at the end.

The Green Bay Packers will make the 2020 NFL playoffs

Packers are going to make the playoffs there. I gave you mine.

The Rams are going to be very good this year

I think the Rams are going to be pretty good this year... the Rams, they look great in the uniforms. I love those helmets.

Kyler Murray is the real deal

Next week will be a real test against the Cardinals and Kyler Murray who I'm now a full believer. I'm done. I'm officially on the Kyler Murray hype train.

The Panthers will be a scrappy underdog in every game this year

I'm circling the Panthers as my Scrappy Underdog. They're going to be in every game team because Joe Brady's an awesome coach... and Teddy Bridgewater is not going to lose you games.

The Ravens are the second best team in the AFC

The Ravens are really, really fucking good. I'll say they're the best team not named the Chiefs in the AFC. That's very, very clear.

There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop the Chiefs when their offense is humming

The Chiefs newsflash are really, really, really fucking good. Like I don't I don't think the Texans are as bad as they looked at times. I think the Chiefs are just really, really fucking good. Super Bowl champs for a reason. There's nothing that you could do to stop the Chiefs when their offense is humming like that. There's just there's absolutely nothing you can do.

The 'Can't Lose' Parlay: Eagles, Colts, and Bills money lines will all hit

I have my can't lose parlay the first one of the year. It cannot lose. Eagles, Colts, Bills money line. There's no chance that loses. It says it right in the name. I'm telling you right now there is no way it loses.

Skateboarding was the 90s version of modern Twitch streamers

Twitch streamers are like the 2020 version of skateboarders when I was coming up. Mostly people following your passion and doing something they're good at and finally getting an audience for it. I never imagined I'd be making money at it, and I applaud those guys.

Workaholics will be 12 times funnier when we are all 50

We have always been very adamant in saying that Workaholics gets 12 times more funnier when we're all 50 and or like even older and still living together, and I'm just bald on the top of my head. It's just storylines for days.

Alvin Kamara appearing on the trading block is the worst possible news for fantasy owners

Anyone who drafted early for fantasy and took Alvin Kamara. Yep. He is on the trading block now, which is I mean a lot of people probably took them in there with their first pick first round. That's like the worst thing you can see is the trading block.

Every generation of SNL fans thinks the current cast sucks compared to the original stars

I also remember think everybody saying we suck, right guys? You're not as good as the First cast and I was like, I know... but I said, I think we're okay. I think you know for our generation of kids growing up watching us, we're going to be their Chevy Chase and Bill Murray.

Platypuses are the only venomous mammals

Fun fact platypuses are the only mammal that are venomous... they are the only mammal that are venomous. How about that?

Jon Rahm's win shows that golf is officially having a massive moment in America

Golf is having a moment. I think it has happened... What America needs right now more than anything is something like we need a miracle.

Tiger Woods in contention on a Sunday at the US Open is what America needs right now

What America needs right now more than anything is something like we need a miracle... What we need is Tiger Woods to be in contention on Sunday at the US Open because like you remember at the Masters, everybody get behind tiger on Sunday.

A unified Yugoslavian Olympic basketball team would be one of the best in the world

Doncic, Bogdanovic, Bojan Bogdanovic, Jokic, Vucevic, Dragic... If Yugoslavia remained today, their Olympic team national team would actually be pretty good.

NBA games will likely resume by Saturday following the protest

My sense is, the games will either begin Friday or Saturday. It's seeming more and more like Saturday because you want to give maybe these guys one more day of self-care and really practice for some of these teams.

Allen Iverson is one of the greatest basketball players we have ever witnessed

I will tell you, one of the greatest basketball players that we have ever witnessed with some of the quickest handles and some of the best most precise pivot movements ever. He's a good face for the Tidewater area, I would definitely say that for sure.

NFL TV ratings will be unprecedented due to fans being stuck at home

I mean, I think the NFL ratings are going to be through the roof and unprecedented based on all the fans that should be watching NFL football coming up here in less than a month.

Frank Gore will keep playing until every team in the league rejects him

I really did Frank Frank loves professional football. He loves to compete he loves to play. He's a rare competitor. I don't think Frank will retire out of his own recognizance until the [jobs] dried up.

I am a massive nerd who embraces the label

I'm very much a nerd and I absolutely embrace that... I mean I have Star Wars socks on right now.

No one in the NBA can stop Luka Doncic

Luca is incredible Lucas so fucking good... I just don't think there's anyone could stop Luca. That's how good he is.

Defensive end is the second most important position in football

I think the second highest paid position and football is a defensive end. Yeah behind your back because that's the only guy on the defensive side of the ball who can disrupt the quarterback in so many ways.

LeBron James and Dwight Howard are real Lakers because they wear the uniform

I don't know about that. Finally puts the Jersey on and wins a championship. That's all we care about... here's the way I look at it is we put the uniform on your liquor in my book.

It is not remarkable how little Billy Football actually does for the show

What made you what I don't like. I thought we can't answer probably is not remarkable how little we ask you to do and how little you actually do towards those girls.