Takes

Donovan Mitchell will win the NBA Slam Dunk Contest

I'm going to go with my pick. Ready? You want to pick? Donovan Mitchell. Because I feel like to win the dunk contest, you have to have that big time buzz, regular season buzz. He's got that a lot. And so people are going to be like, this is the coronation of Donovan Mitchell.

AJ McCarron is the perfect fit for the Arizona Cardinals

AJ McCarron has Arizona Cardinals screaming all over him. That seems like the perfect fit. Shirt off. Business tats.

Establishing the run game is the foundation of all football success

Mine [Mount Rushmore] is establishing the run game. Love when a team establishes the run game. Just run, run, run, run, run. Because then you get that play-action pass and the cameraman misses. It opens things up. ... Everything starts with establishing the run. That's just a fact.

February is the trashiest month of the year

February really is just the trashiest month, because there's just nothing. There's nothing like March Madness at least you get your pep back but like February... you just kind of walk around aimlessly.

The Boston Celtics have regressed defensively compared to their early-season dominance

I think the Celtics have actually regressed a little bit defensively. Some of that is that it was just a shock that they were clearing away the number one defensive team in the league because I didn't really expect that, especially with the overhaul of young players.

Golden State is still significantly better than any other NBA team, regardless of mid-season momentum from Houston or OKC

As good as Houston's looked against them, as good as OKC looked the other night against them, I just know that there's a version of Golden State that I still trust is better than everybody else... Let's not let 'new' get in the way of what Golden State still is. And Golden State is on year four of maybe the best team we've ever seen in the history of this league.

The Olympics starting events before the opening ceremony is total 'bullshit'

Why does curling start before everything else? They really need that much time to do curling? ... So they don't light the torch, but they play the Olympics. It's bullshit. So-called bullshit.

Bill Belichick's two best qualities are insight and foresight

There's two qualities that he by far stands apart from everyone else. And I call them insight and foresight. On insight, I mean on a daily and weekly basis, he's on top of everything all the time... and then foresight. Foresight he always seemed to be one step ahead of everybody else. He'd get rid of that guy that everyone still loved, but it was towards the end of his career, and then the next year they'd fall off the shelf.

Curtis Martin and Brady Quinn were the best players I ever coached

Pros... I think Curtis Martin might have been the best player in the pros. [In college] might have been Brady Quinn. I mean, he played for me for two years and led the team to two BCS games. And he got hurt in his last game against LSU... He tears up his knee, he puts a brace on him and finishes the game.

Doug Pederson beat the Patriots by taking the huge risks that the Jaguars refused to take

Doug Pederson did what the Jaguars refused to do in the AFC Championship game. He knew that to beat the Patriots, you have to take one or two huge risks, and that's the only way you can do it. And he did it with the fourth down call where Nick Foles caught the touchdown.

I can play up to five more years in the NFL

How many more years are you going to play in the NFL? I would say anywhere between one and five... 15? Yeah, I could do 15 [seasons total].

There is a 0% chance I ever get into coaching

I hope you don't think you're going to get into coaching with that attitude [not drinking coffee]. There'll be 0% chance I get into coaching.

Joe Thomas is a future Hall of Famer

You're going to – I would say – I'm going to say it right now. You're going to go to the Hall of Fame.

Stability is much harder for a young quarterback when playing for a defensive head coach

As a quarterback, that's the big difference, I think, between playing for a defensive head coach and an offensive head coach. As a defensive head coach, as great as it can be, you're still constantly – if you do well, your coordinator's leaving. And so the stability is always in question there.

Rain is the worst weather for a quarterback, even worse than snow

Rain's the worst. Like dumping rain. Like if it were 40 degrees and raining and windy, that's the worst. I'll take snow over rain. Snow's actually fun.

Bill Belichick will coach the Patriots for at least three more years

Bill will coach the Patriots. I think at least three. Three to four.

Roger Federer is the undisputed GOAT of tennis

Roger Federer, now the GOAT. His 20th [Major].

Rob Gronkowski is arguably the greatest tight end of all time

87 to me was like I had no idea how good he was. I knew he was one of the greatest of all time, but that guy is probably just as easily separating himself from the competition with tight ends throughout the history of our league as 12 is [at quarterback]. So, I mean, that dude is unreal.

The Super Bowl National Anthem will go over two minutes

So I'm taking the over [on the national anthem] just because you don't want to root for the under in the national anthem. That's pretty much treason, right?

The new XFL is probably going to suck

I'll give you – it's going to suck. We all agree, right? It's probably going to suck. It's going to be shitty football. The problem with... The XFL is this weird thing.

Team LeBron is much better than Team Steph for the All-Star game

Team LeBron is way better than Team Steph. Yes. Yeah, this should be a blowout. I don't understand what Steph was doing, too.

Aaron Rodgers is the hardest quarterback to play against regardless of his receivers

If you got Aaron Rodgers throwing to you, I don't care what the last name on the back of the receiver's jersey is, Aaron is going to put the ball in places I can't get it. He's going to throw his out routes out of bounds. He's going to throw his fade routes at the back of my head.

2018 will finally be the year Ryan Tannehill takes the next step

Ryan Tannehill's next year is going to be the year. He's taking the next step this year. Always taking the next step.

LeBron James' Instagram post to his younger self is the most unintentionally funny thing ever

Every single time you read something [LeBron James] posts, it is like the most unintentionally funny shit that you will ever hear in your life... He invented fourth person. It's him referring to himself, but in the past.

Villanova is clearly the best team in the country

I think [Villanova] is clearly the best team in the country, and they have like six guys who would start on virtually any team, which is kind of incredible to think about.

The Patriots' mental toughness is superior to every other team in the NFL

The Patriots, the mental toughness they have is just insane. They are a mentally tougher team than every other team they play. You just know that they're not going to get phased. They're down two scores at home... and they're just nothing's going to change. They're just going to keep doing what they're doing.

Ben Roethlisberger is the grittiest player in the NFL

[Ben Roethlisberger] has that kind of moxie and grit about him. And he's probably the grittiest dude I've ever played with.

A player will not have a long NFL career if they don't love football

If you don't love football, you won't have a long career. You just won't. I remember when I was playing, I would watch, not only myself, but I would watch other linemen around the league... there was guys that were digesting what was going on around the league... and it pays off, man.

Tom Brady will throw for three touchdowns and 350 yards against the Jaguars despite his hand injury

I think it's pretty obvious. Brady's going to come out. He's going to throw for three touchdowns, 350 yards. I don't think it's going to really make a difference.

Humans, not rats, were the true cause of the Bubonic Plague

My Cool Throne is rats... turns out they didn't cause the bubonic plague. Really? We've been blaming rats for the last, like, 600 years. Turns out we're way off. No, it's humans. We were projecting on rats.

It is highly unlikely that I will ever return to NFL coaching

In regards to going back into the professional ranks, I've never closed a door that I don't have to, but I think it's highly unlikely is probably the best way of saying it. I'm very happy with the life I have, the balance I have with my life and the platform that exists with my job at CBS.

The New York Giants job is the most attractive head coaching vacancy in the NFL

Would you rather be in the NFC North, the AFC South, or the NFC East? I think right now I'd rather be in the NFC East. [The New York Giants]... Now, do you have a quarterback in that team? [Eli Manning]... How high is your draft pick? Pretty high. [No. 2]... I think you guys are starting to answer your own questions.

Editing Wikipedia for clients will be a high-paying job in twenty years

Editing Wikipedia pages is actually... That's going to be a very high-paying job if you have that skill set over the next 20 years. When was the last time you looked somebody up for an interview and dug deeper than their Wikipedia page?

Becca M will get her own spinoff show from The Bachelor

Becca doesn't need Ari at all... I think I love Becca's coming, or at least she's going to wind up being The Bachelorette... She's the favorite right now, and I think she's going to wind up getting the spinoff show.

The Divisional Round should be renamed the 'Best Fucking Weekend of Football of the Year'

I just nominate, we call it the best fucking weekend of football of the year.

My Super Bowl prediction is the Steelers vs. the Saints

Here's my pick right here. Pittsburgh Steelers versus the New Orleans Saints.

The divisional round is the best weekend of football

I would like to contend that the divisional round is the best weekend of football. Saturday and Sunday. It is a full weekend of football, and you're going to miss this. Actually, just one week when there are just two games left.

The Patriots will win the Super Bowl

Bill Belichick and Tom Brady are just going to fucking, you know, shit kick everyone in the playoffs this year. I think, honestly, I have to take the Pats. I'm going Pats.

The Tampa Bay Lightning are the best team in the NHL and my Stanley Cup pick

Yeah, they were my Cup pick. I think I picked them when I came on your show, fellas. They're nasty. They have four legit superstars. Hedman, Stamkos, Kucherov, and their goalie, Vasilevskiy. They're the best team in the NHL, for sure.

I am fully on board with Tua Tagovailoa

I've got Tua fever. Yeah. I am fully on board with Tua... I think it's the Hawaiian aspect. Like Hawaiian people are just cooler than everyone else. That's just a straight up fact.

The Illuminati is not real

Here's my take. I don't think the Illuminati is real. I've actually been doing a lot of thinking about this today. If the Illuminati was real, they would be so powerful that they would eventually sue somebody who came after [them]... If they were actually real, they would shut that shit down.

I wouldn't have the same impact in today's NFL

I don't think I have the same impact in today's NFL because, like I said, I needed 25 carries. I needed 30 carries... a lot of teams have gone to pass first and run the ball second, and they've kind of diminished the running back position to a degree. So certain teams I think I will still have tremendous success on, but certain teams I think I would be like James Harrison. Trade me. Get rid of me.

Ben Roethlisberger was the best quarterback I played with

I've got to say Ben Roethlisberger. No question about it... Ben had that 'it' that most players don't have. I mean, you can be a good player, but you just don't have that 'it' thing. He's had that 'it'.

The young Rams will be back and this isn't the last you've heard from them

Sean Connery McVay was unable to defend the Rock. But his arrow is pointing up on this Rams team, and this won't be the last you hear from these kids.

The Rams will be really good for the next five years

I think the Rams are going to be really good for like the next five years. Really, really good.

Sony Michel is the bell cow of the Georgia backfield

Either one of those senior running backs. I'm probably a little bit more to Sony just because I think he's got a little bit more extra. You know what I mean?

The National Championship between Alabama and Georgia will be the most physical of the playoff era

I don't know if you'll see a game of this magnitude be as physical as these two teams are going to make it. That's what they both pride themselves on.

The College Football Playoff won't expand to eight teams for another eight years

There's eight more years of this TV contract right after that. ... the old guard, the old guys, are going to try to keep the Rose Bowl relevant. ... I think in eight years you'll have that.

Wild Card Weekend is the second best football weekend of the year

This is the second best football weekend of the year. I might even say first best because we do have the college football finals on Monday.

Cam Newton will wear a goofy hat to his press conference if the Panthers lose

My prediction for this game is Cam's going to do something that will give us headlines for at least 48 hours, because he always does. Like... wear a goofy hat to the press conference in a loss, or not show up to the press conference.