Takes

Dez Bryant caught the ball against the Packers in the playoffs

I was in the minority on that one. I thought that was a catch. And I think if Dez Bryant and Lambeau is not within a yard of the end zone, it's not an issue. But because he was and he was reaching for the touchdown, to me, that's what caused the ball to pop out.

Sidney Crosby is on the Mount Rushmore of hockey with Gretzky, Howe, and Ovechkin

If we're talking like the goat mount rushmore you got to go gordy how... you got to go gretzky you got to go ovechkin you got to go crosby it's easy

Hockey is better than basketball because the games are more competitive

The NBA was blowouts everywhere, okay? Most of [the hockey] scores are either one goals or two goals. That's not a blowout. Hockey's better than basketball.

The 1996 Bulls would beat the modern Warriors

I'd be shocked if the Warriors won it. I just look at the defensive matchups... Dennis Rodman is going to just, I think, negate Draymond Green. And then you bring in – when you have Scottie Pippen, who would look forward to covering these guys.

Steph Curry's low-top shoes are sleek and the safest shoes to wear to avoid getting robbed

I like Steph Curry's shoes. I'm here to say that they're sleek... there's no chance that a teenager will ever hit me with 'what are those' if I'm wearing the Steph Curry Lowe's... You also probably won't get knocked out and have your shoes stolen from you, which is also a plus... wear the Steph Currys, be the safest guy in the world.

People should be fired for being bad at Twitter

I hope that this happens more in the future. Just people get fired because they suck at Twitter, not because they say anything offensive or because they break a law or anything, just because they suck at the platform.

The Oilers will play the Panthers in the 2018 Stanley Cup Final

I got the Oilers because they probably have – they're going to somehow figure out a way to get like six more first-round picks between now and 2018. And the Florida Panthers.

The Cavaliers will lose the 2016 NBA Finals in six games

The series hasn't started yet... real talk... they're going to lose in six.

If you do a bit better than the person who invented it, it becomes yours legally

I feel like if you do something a lot better than somebody else, then it becomes yours... On the internet, we call that a hat tip. So as long as you give somebody a hat tip, then you can steal all their shit and it's totally above board.

Destin is a better play to win the Belmont Stakes than Exaggerator

Destin, who ran in the Kentucky Derby, didn't have the best of trips... Todd Pletcher trains him. Now he gives him five weeks off, and he brings him back to the Belmont fresh. And I think that makes a horse like Destin a much better play than a horse like Exaggerator.

The US Men's National Soccer Team could make some noise in the next two World Cups

I'd say that [soccer is] better than ever. I would say not this World Cup and next World Cup. The U.S. could really make some noise.

The United States soccer team is the Indiana Pacers of the global scale

The thing about Klinsmann is the United States in soccer is the Indiana Pacers. We've never done anything great, really. We've had a couple good players every now and again. But we think that we're entitled to be a really good team.

Game 3 of the 2016 NBA Finals is a 'can't lose' for the Cavaliers

I think it's a can't lose because if they lose it, then the series has officially begun and then Steph Curry is going to just put the nail in the coffin in game four. So they have to win it because if they lose it, then they won't win another one.

LeBron James buying headphones for his teammates is a 'bad boss move'

LeBron bought everyone headphones before game two? Another really bad boss move. Basically buying everyone a gift so that when he trashes them and calls them assholes and tells the media that he can't do it all on himself, he's then going to come behind the press conference and be like, hey guys, but you remember those headphones I got you?

The San Jose Sharks have no chance to come back against the Penguins in the 2016 Stanley Cup Final

Done. Done. Oh, that's not a chance. Like it was pretty stupid. They would even waste the money that it costs to pay for the private jet out to play the game and lose and then have to fly home. ... They're just a better team overall.

I hate the NBA because of the Prima Donnas and flopping

I just hate the NBA. ... Just, you know, it's just, I don't know. I feel like it's all one-on-one. It's just the timeouts, the fools that play. A lot of ball hogs. ... Prima Donnas. Flops everywhere. It's just slow.

I support capping three-pointers if it hurts Steph Curry and the Warriors

I hate the rule, and I hate these changing of rules, but if it means we can take away the one thing that Steph excels at over everyone else, I'm kind of in favor of that.

The Cavaliers are officially dead after Game 2 of the NBA Finals

The Cavaliers are officially dead. I feel confident about this time. I've done this before, and I had to eat some crow... because the Cavaliers have been blown out now two times.

The Cavaliers are finished in the 2016 NBA Finals

Cavs, done or finished. It's looking pretty bad, man. I actually thought they were going to win tonight. It's looking pretty bad. I'm going to say they're finished.

The Oklahoma City Thunder would have beaten the Cavaliers in the Finals if they had advanced

Oklahoma City is the big loser in all of this because I think they would have won the title if they had faced the Cavs.

The X Games have lost their fastball because they cancel events for rain

The X Games has lost their fastball... they canceled all the events yesterday because of rain, and these are the X Games, right? Why are you canceling events because of rain? If anything, it should be the Surge commercial where everybody is running up the hill.

LeBron James will have to move cities or fire his team if the Cavs lose the Finals

It looks like LeBron [James] is going to either have to move cities again or fire his whole team.

We need to stop talking about Shaun Livingston's knee injury because it was a decade ago

At what point can we just move on from the Shaun Livingston knee issue? It's been, I don't know, six, seven years. He's been totally fine for a really long time... I just want people to stop with Sean Livingston's stuff. He had a knee injury 10 years ago. Knees grow back by then.

The 1990s Bulls are the best team of all time based on combined regular and postseason records

If you add up the regular season and the postseason record, the Bulls already have the title for best team of all time. This chicken is fucked. Put to bed. Tucked in. Like a cigarette.

NHL superstars like Sidney Crosby get better treatment from refs and can bully linesmen into letting them cheat on face-offs

Typically superstars do get a better treatment just because they can bully linesmen a lot more than say no namers... Whereas if Joe Thornton's like, 'Hey, drop the fucking puck when I want it,' he'll be like... 'Hey Michael [Jordan], I didn't see it, but I'm going to call it now.' It's very similar to that.

It is easier for the US to win an Olympic gold medal than for a Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup

I would probably say it's easier to win an Olympic gold medal in hockey than it would be to win a Stanley Cup just based on how hard it is... if you have a good two weeks at the Olympics and all your lines are clicking, you get a gold. So I would say U.S. winning gold.

Add 'ha-ha' or 'LOL' to the end of any uncomfortable message to instantly spin the situation

I've always told you... if you just throw a ha-ha or an LOL at the end of every DM or text, you can always be like... 'Oh, I'm in.' It's just, yeah, we're just joking. Just add a ha-ha on everything whenever you get in a bad situation. See if you can just laugh your way out of it.

Riley Curry has to go

One thing I will say, I do agree with Big Cat, that Riley Curry, she's got to go. I'm done with Riley Curry.

The Knicks will never win as long as James Dolan is the owner

As long as James Dolan is the owner of the Knicks, the Knicks aren't winning shit. And you know that. I know that. Spike Lee knows that. Marv Albert and his whips and his gag balls know that. Y'all know it, okay?

LeBron James will never surpass Michael Jordan because he has lost in the Finals

I think his – the fact that he lost titles, he's already not going to surpass Jordan, because he never lost. He never lost a title.

The giant alligator on the Florida golf course is fake

I think this is a Kimmel stunt or it's a viral thing for the owners of the golf course. There's no way that thing's real. The alligator was like – its back was about four and a half feet off the ground and it walked like it was two human beings... I think they're trying to play a next level one on us. And 99% sure that alligator is definitely fake.

Kevin Durant is the Dan Marino of the NBA

Is it fair to say that Kevin Durant is potentially like the Dan Marino of the NBA? You got to start having that conversation, though. Like, is he the best player that will never win a championship?

The Cavaliers will not lose another home game as long as I leave my wallet in the arena

The Cleveland Cavaliers have not lost a game since I left my wallet in the Q... My wallet's going to be in there until the end of the finals and then I'll get it back because I think my wallet has actually helped the Cavs. So if I keep the wallet there, the Cavs aren't going to lose a home game.

The Thunder will smoke the Warriors in Game 6

I think the Thunder are going to smoke the Warriors in game six.

The San Jose Sharks will defeat the Pittsburgh Penguins in the Stanley Cup Finals

The Stanley Cup finals. Sharks eat penguins. Not to brag, but I called it. Yes, you did. Because it was the only matchup that could occur in nature.

Chris Berman's retirement report is a bargaining chip for his next contract

Does Chris Berman not strike you as the type of guy that's going to take a victory lap? He is a victory lap guy through and through. So this wishy-washy back and forth, this was all on purpose... Or what this could be is a bargaining chip. He might be trying to play him for a raise. His contract's up next year. So he's dangling the threat of retirement.

The Spelling Bee stinks now because it tries too hard to be 'millennial-friendly'

I'm a spelling bee purist... I kind of like some of the new stuff that they're doing to try to draw on the millennial. No, they're trying to be too cute. It's too cute. They're having the kids dab. I like the cutthroat. I like the competitiveness. I like the pressure where you know these 12-year-olds, if they get this word wrong, their whole entire life is going to be crushed.

A 73-win season means nothing without a championship

Don't mean a thing without that ring. That's all I'm going to say... That is the 72-10 1996 Bulls. That was their little mantra. And the Warriors... The 73-win Warriors look like they're in a lot of trouble.

I despise Cleveland Cavaliers fans

I love Browns fans. I fucking despise Cavs fans. They're the worst. I know they're the exact same people, but they're not.

Duff's is far better than Anchor Bar for wings in Buffalo

We unanimously decided that Duff's was far better than Anchor Bar. Anchor Bar had an unfortunate incident... but we unanimously decided that Duff's was far better.

The Thunder are the best team in the league when Durant and Westbrook click on the same night

When they [Durant and Westbrook] do that, you can't beat them... They, at some point, will click on the exact same night, and they're the best team in the league.

LeBron James will dominate Game 4 against the Raptors and rip their hearts out

LeBron is going to come out in game four and he is going to rip the heart out of the Toronto Raptors... what he's going to do is he's going to step on their throats, and Drake is going to be crying at the bench... this is a LeBron James game, game four.

Kickers are severely disliked by real football players

I severely disliked them... as the 17th most hated person on the planet, I can't say I really hate anybody, but I severely dislike them. I would not invite them out for wings.

Youngstown, Ohio is likely the grittiest city in the world

Youngstown is like the grittiest city in the world, probably. Home of Boom Boom Mancini. Little known fact about Youngstown there for you.

Grit Week participants should only pack underwear and laptops, buying all other clothes daily from thrift stores

Since it's Grit Week, we got to go out there. We got to scrap. We got to hustle for everything that we earn. So every morning, we're going to go to a thrift store, buy our clothes for that day, depending on the weather.

The Raptors are a disgrace to basketball and to Canada

The Raptors are just a disgrace, disgrace to basketball, disgrace to Canada... I don't want to be in the Eastern Conference Finals if you get swept like this.

The Cavaliers will sweep the Raptors

It's going to be a sweep. I don't think the Raptors can steal one in Toronto even.

Nyquist is not a slam dunk to win the Preakness due to weather

There's a probability that it's going to be a hellaciously rainy day on Saturday. [Nyquist] has never run in conditions like that before... Whereas Exaggerator, the horse that he beat in the Derby, has, and he won very impressively in conditions like that.

The horse Lani is a good play for third place in the Preakness

There is a horse that is going to be double digits that I think is set up to run pretty well here and is a good play for third behind the top two, and that would be the Japanese horse, Lani.

A baseball field is like international waters with no rules

As far as I can tell... a baseball field is like international waters where there are no rules.