Takes

Canelo Alvarez is the pound-for-pound greatest boxer in the world

You have the current GOAT, which is Canelo Alvarez pound for pound, number one, the biggest star in the sport... he just fluctuates up weight classes and just basically wants to fight all champions.

Jake Paul will never be a world champion

Jake's a little bit different because he's at least boxing now. Right. He thinks he can be a world champion never in a million years, but there are actually some boxers that are worse than Jake Paul.

Tyson Fury is not actually retired

Tyson Fury beat Dillian Whyte the other day, he face timed me off a dozen times the next day asking for Anthony Joshua's number. So he ain't retiring for nothing. I mean, he just wants to make as much with Tyson Fury... I think he will always be there.

Canelo Alvarez is a pure winner because he stays hungry for belts despite already having all the money and success in the world.

When you have more money than you ever dreamed of, when you have more belts than you ever fantasized about as a kid, how do you want it more than ever, right? In a sport as brutal as boxing. And that is why Canelo Alvarez is a pure winner... he dreamed of having all the things that he's got now, but now he's got it, he wants it more than ever.

The 'Many Womping' is officially back on for the Celtics

I was worried... but from my sources on the ground, inside the building, they said Grant Williams walked up to Giannis [Antetokounmpo]... the Many Womping is still backing up. I feel back. Many Womping back on.

The Celtics vs. Bucks series is going to go seven games

I think we all set it on Sunday when the [Bucks] won game one, we're like, this is going to be a seven games series. Both these teams are really, really good. And you expected an answer like this from the Celtics tonight because they're a really fucking good team.

The betting line for Bucks-Celtics Game 2 was a 'total trap'

I actually like looked at the line beforehand and I was smart enough to be like the [Bucks] is a total trap. Do not bet the [Bucks]... I knew right away, I was like, that's pretty much the same line as Sunday after the [Bucks] beat them pretty soundly. That makes no sense.

Nike ruined NBA jerseys because every team has too many versions

Nike ruined NBA jerseys. Cause there's like, every team has 15 jerseys and they all wear like these weird jerseys. We talked about this last year. Remember when the [Heat] were just wearing the Pacers jerseys, they just ruined it. They, each team should have at most four jerseys.

The NBA should judge flagrant fouls by whether the play would start a fight in a pickup game

I basically judge flagrant fouls. Would this foul start a fight in a pickup basketball game? That one [Dillon Brooks on Gary Payton II] would have started a fight instantly. Instantly. Not everyone who's played pickup basketball knows there's a difference.

The NBA should introduce a 'Flagrant 3' where the victim's team gets to pick a player on the other team to be kicked out

That should be a Flagrant 3. And if there's a Flagrant 3, here's the rule. The other team, they get to pick which one of your guys is kicked out of the game. Or you could take that player's dad. So Gary Payton comes back and plays for your team the next round.

Ja Morant hovers in the air and time moves slower when he's around the basket

Ja Morant, I like, he just hovers. I don't understand it. He doesn't, he jumps up and he just doesn't come down. He does like six moves in the air. Time moves slower when he's in there. It's almost like they've already planned out the four things they're going to do in the air before they actually put the ball up.

LeBron James is living the college sorority life he never got on social media

I love LeBron James on social media, man. He's basically living the college sorority life that he never got to because he went straight to the NBA. Between his emoji game and then the egregious amount of Instagram stories that he puts up. This guy is no different than like a 22-year-old.

I'm 79% of the way back to declaring the Capitals are going to win the Cup again

I'm having a hard time believing in these Caps as of eight hours ago. Right now I'm almost fully back. I'm like 79% of the way back to declaring that these Caps are different. That these Caps—it's our year again.

Losing a triple-overtime game at home is the worst feeling in sports

There's no worse feeling than having committing six hours of your time into a hockey game and coming away with absolutely nothing. It sucks the soul right out of you. And it was against the backup goalie too.

John Sterling has become a parody of himself and needs to retire from the Yankees booth

My hot seat is John Sterling. I think this is a bit at this point... [Sterling] is blind. For the third time, it wasn't even close. He needs to quickly make the decision so he can say that he's retiring and everyone can just praise him so that he doesn't have to deal with what's going to probably happen a few more times.

It's impossible to tell if Hue Jackson was intentionally throwing games or just being Hue Jackson

The NFL just conducted an investigation to Hue Jackson's claims that he was paid to throw games and they concluded that. No, it's literally impossible to tell whether or not Hue Jackson was intentionally losing games or if he was just being Hue Jackson, since there's such a big body of work behind them to establish the fact that this is what Hue Jackson does.

Getting hit in the nuts is worse than childbirth

Women don't realize that childbirth is not that hard when you've gotten hit in the nuts. Your balls feel like they're going to explode and your stomach feels like it's going to cave inside of itself. It's like having all of your periods at once.

NBA players who get hit in the nuts should get a free shot to kick the offender back

If you get a flagrant one, you should get to kick the guy in the balls back in center court. How awesome would that be for fans? Tonight, I might see a guy just get smoked in the nuts.

Reds fans should defecate in the Toyota Tundra at the stadium to protest the owner

A Reds fan posted yesterday saying... 'I will be scaling the wall to defecate in the bed of the Toyota Tundra.' I just liked that Reds fans are fighting back. This is how you fight... maybe it will make people go shit in their trucks.

High taxes in Minnesota and Canada prevent their NHL teams from landing top free agents

My cool throne is Minnesota and Canada. The reason why they can't land good free agents to make their hockey teams good is because of taxes.

The Tampa Bay Lightning are 'fucked out' and will lose to the Maple Leafs

I just think they're fucked out. You know, when you just been fucking all night long and finally it's 6:00 AM and the sun's coming up and you're like, I'm blowing dust. They went back-to-back, man. A lot of hockey. Your central nervous system can only handle so much. I think that the Tampa Bay Lightning are done.

The Florida Panthers are the deepest team in the NHL with four 'unreal' lines

Florida Panthers who [have] four unreal lines of authentic driving forwards, a great backend... they just got Aaron Ekblad back... they also have that one-two punch [in goal]... they have been a wagon all year. I have a lot of trust on them.

Cale Makar is the next Paul Coffey and the best defenseman in the world

Cale Makar is easily the next Paul Coffey. We hadn't seen a defenseman who's able to drive traffic like him. He's essentially stepped in as the Connor McDavid of the back end. He's probably going to score 30 goals as a defenseman. He is just a freak of nature.

Daryl Sutter doesn't want the distraction of players having children during the season

If you want to be on [Daryl] Sutter's bad side, you would have a kid born in the midst of the season. If you knock up your wife and she's gonna give birth during the course of the season, you might as well just fucking ask for a tray [trade]. He takes it away and doesn't want, he doesn't want any distractions.

The Stanley Cup Final will be Colorado vs. Florida and it will be the most electric ever

I think this is a year where the favorites get to the top. I think it's going to be Colorado and I think it's going to be Florida. And I think it will be the most electric Stanley Cup Final of all time... both of those teams are extremely fun to watch.

The St. Louis Blues are a dark horse to win the West after adding Nick Leddy

Let's go St. Louis out of the west... they got Leddy, which not a huge name, but it just filled a hole. And ever since then, they've just been on this massive roll... they were winning 80% of their games, if not more.

The NHL should use a 1-8 seeding draft where the top seeds pick their opponents

I would be okay if they ended up switching the patterns up. It would be the first seed selecting, starting with the first team, they would pick their opponent and then all the way through. I definitely think they should go back one through eight... and then reseed after the first round.

This season is the 'Last Dance' for the Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Kris Letang trio in Pittsburgh

I think this is the last dance... this'll be the group's last time together. They're, you know how they had the one for about this is their, they got that trio. I just don't know with the cap, if they're going to be able to afford all three of them, cause Letang and Malkin are up for contracts.

Every professional sport should have an Emergency Backup Player (EBUG) rule like hockey

I feel like every sport should have this [EBUG situation]... For, for football would be the kicker... I'd love to see a random dude out on a basketball court. Just like get blown by and like not, not even be able to dribble... Usually once a year, a guy, a regular Joe off the street gets addressed in NHL game.

I would much rather lose a game playing like absolute dogshit than lose while playing well

Spin zone is I would much rather lose a game where you play like absolute dog [and] play worse than lose a game where you're playing really well and the other team just beat you. Like the Celtics played so bad. Jaylen Brown was so bad. Jason Tatum didn't play well, no one was playing well.

The Bucks vs. Celtics series is definitely going seven games

I already think this series is going seven, so I wouldn't freak out. ... I think the series is going to go the distance.

Giannis Antetokounmpo is indisputably the best player in the NBA

I wonder, I think that we've all decided that Giannis [Antetokounmpo] is the best player in the NBA right now. Like, I don't know if that's a debate anymore. I think that's just because Giannis is too nice. If he was meaner, I don't think it would be a debate.

Jason Tatum will take over multiple games in the Bucks series and prove he has fully arrived

I also think this is going to be a great test of has Jason Tatum fully arrived because he will take over some of these games and then we'll be like, oh yeah, he's really fucking good. That's that's my prediction.

The New York Rangers will win it all because they finally moved on from Henrik Lundqvist

The narrative that I want get going ... now that the Rangers don't have Lundqvist anymore and they've got a clutch playoff goalie [Igor Shesterkin], this is what they've been missing over all the years. ... It's the Bryce Harper orthosis where after we got rid of him, then the Nats win the title.

Texas Longhorns football is officially back to their 2014 levels of embarrassment

Texas football is officially back. When I say back, I mean back to where they were in 2014, when for the only time in the last 70 years, they went through an entire NFL draft where they did not have a player taking the entire [time].

Women's boxing is on the up and up following the electric Taylor vs. Serrano fight

Women's boxing is on the up and up. ... What we saw in the last Jake Paul card with Amanda Serrano on it is that those fights are extremely electric. ... It was the first headline by women fighters at Madison Square Garden itself in its 140 year history.

Robotic umpires are less accurate than human umpires

The biggest problem with this K-Zone system is it's not exactly accurate. ... They grade the umpires on a machine for home plate every game. ... a year or so before I retired, we didn't have a single umpire—not one umpire—that scored under 95%. ... the robotic computer, they already know it misses 7% of the pitches. We don't have an umpire missing five.

The Universal DH is a bad rule that will slow the game down

This designated hitter's going to slow down the game because—and I've said this before—if Tom Seaver threw more than nine pitches to the seventh, eighth, and ninth hitter... in the old National League, they would go right after [them]. In the American League, they didn't go right after [the DH]. ... It's going to slow the game down.

The Eagles and Ravens absolutely destroyed the 2022 NFL Draft

Regrettably, I think that the Eagles killed this draft. I think they just destroyed it. Like when they got Nakobe Dean, I think everybody who was watching was like, oh yeah, that guy should have been the first overall pick. ... I think I might put a future on the Baltimore Ravens set it right now. ... [They're] just going to run the ball and play defense and have a bunch of fucking crazy ass dudes on defense.

The Chiefs got much tougher and better on defense in the 2022 Draft

The chiefs I thought got better. They, they added a lot of defense and like, I think they got a lot tougher on defense. ... They also got Skyy Moore. Yeah. Which is that's the guy that, that we were told, like here's a guy that you should pay attention to.

Sam Howell is the Tom Brady of the Washington Commanders

If I just completely forget everything I saw from Sam Howell last year, I can convince myself that he is our Tom Brady. ... we got the number one overall pick in the draft in the fifth round this year.

Baker Mayfield's trade value is now only a fourth or fifth round pick

Going—if you had asked this at the start of last year, what would Baker Mayfield be on the open market? Probably like, I don't know, second round pick or something like that feels right now. It's like he's a fourth or fifth round pick. Crazy.

Deshaun Watson will be suspended for the entire 2022 NFL season

I don't think that Deshaun Watson is going to play next year. The more I think about it, the more I think that Roger Goodell is going to step in and be like, that's me, Roger Goodell champion of women everywhere. And we're suspending Deshaun Watson next year. Holy fuck.

The Jets and the Eagles were the media darlings of the 2022 NFL Draft

Right now I think if you're going to take the darlings of the draft, who are the media darlings of the draft? Because I think it's the Jets and it's the Eagles.

The Houston Texans are morons for their draft strategy

It's very funny to me that everyone's spent a year over a year projecting the entire draft and they screwed it up because they forgot that the Houston Texans are morons.

The Falcons are a trap team I'm going to talk myself into every year because of their skill players

The Falcons continue their quest to just have awesome players on all the skill positions with Drake London at wide receiver. Now I'm going to buy into the Falcons again, being like, how can you stop Drake London and Kyle Pitts?

Jordan Davis is a lazy player because he isn't fast enough running to the sidelines when he's being subbed out

He [Jordan Davis] has a fast 40 time, but if he had to run the 40 ten times, his drop-off in times would probably be very [high]... I've seen them also in games taking plays off on touchdowns... and my red flag is he's not fast enough running to the sidelines when he's being subbed out of the game.

The Ravens love Lamar Jackson, but they aren't 'in love' with him enough to commit long-term

I think the Ravens are kind of weird about [Lamar]. I don't think that the Ravens—yeah, they love him because he's a great quarterback and he's an MVP, but I think that they're like a little hesitant to go all in on Lamar Jackson being their cemented quarterback of the future. They love him, but they're not in love with him.

The Steelers are a top-five landing spot for any rookie quarterback

If you're a quarterback and you list where you could go, the Steelers have to be top five just because... they know what they are. Consistency, head coaching, front [office]... as a quarterback, it's gotta be a dream to go to the Steelers.

Prediction: Tyler Smith will be a Pro Bowler as a rookie before getting suspended

Cowboys got offensive lineman [Tyler Smith]... Pro bowl rookie year, suspended second year, third year comes out hot. It looks like pro bowl, gets hurt. And then everyone's like, well, if that Dak's losing all his players, so he can't, he can't do it all himself.