Takes

Josh Allen is the best quarterback in the NFL right now

Josh Allen just threw a bomb. He's so fucking good. He's so fucking good. Best quarterback in the league right now. Who says no?

Dak Prescott will win the NFL MVP because of sympathy votes

Dak Prescott, I still think, is going to win the MVP just because of sympathy votes.

The NFL needs to move extra points back to their original distance

All I can say is we need to move PATs back to where they used to be. It's time to switch it back because kickers were fucked up in the head... When you take something that we are very good at that we should make every time and then you bring it back to make it a 33-yarder, you're going to cause all sorts of mental dominoes to topple over.

The Bengals have proven they can tie any team in the league but not beat them

If you're a Bengals fan, you're happy with Joe Burrow right now because what you have is the Bengals, they've proven that they can tie anybody in the league. They can't beat anybody in the league, but they're always in a tie vicinity.

The Buffalo Bills are the favorites to win the AFC

I am projecting that the Buffalo Bills have won Sunday Night Football... But the Bills have to be the favorite to win the AFC now.

Corderell Patterson is the most 'awesome random guy' in NFL history

We need to have an award built basically around Corderell Patterson where it's like he's not the flashiest, he's not the best... He's just like, this guy's awesome. [He's] one of those guys that history will forget, but if you watched, he's a name you'll throw out there in 15 years, and everyone at the bar will be like, oh, fuck, I remember him.

The Buccaneers will stumble and lose a few unexpected games in October

I think Tampa Bay is gearing up for another run... I think they're going to lose a couple more games this season. I think they're going to stumble, lose a game to somebody that you don't expect. Like maybe to the Saints.

Taylor Heinicke is good enough to be an above-average franchise quarterback

Taylor Heineke has shown me enough where I think that he's the guy in the sense of we don't need to go out and get a new quarterback. We should roll the dice with Taylor Heineke for the next two years... He's good enough to be an above-average quarterback in the NFL.

Urban Meyer is addicted to lying

I actually think that Urban Meyer is addicted to lying. I think he loves to lie. I think even when he doesn't have a reason to be lying about something, he opens his mouth and the first words that come out are not the truth. That's just how he operates. His reality is different from what you and I see.

Mac Jones is the greatest six-yard thrower in NFL history

Mac Jones, probably the greatest six-yard thrower in the history of NFL football. It's my favorite. Patriots now, it's basically... the six-yard play over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

The Bears might be back and could beat the Packers next week

The Bears might be back. I'm just going to say it right now. I know that I only have a week to say this because they have to play the Packers on Sunday, and the Packers are going to probably shit down my throat. But I have also told myself I think the Bears might beat the Packers because that's Soldier Field.

Brandon Staley is the NFL Coach of the Year

Right now, [Brandon Staley] is my coach of the year if I had to vote... I'm just kind of blown away by how correct he is every time. I loved that [press conference]. That one was awesome.

Trevon Diggs is the NFL MVP

I'd like to renew my call for Trevon Diggs to get the MVP. Six interceptions in five games. He should be the MVP right now. On pace for 24 interceptions.

The 5-0 Arizona Cardinals make zero sense and are a 'weird' undefeated team

The Cardinals make no sense to me at this point because when you actually break it down, they have struggled with the Jags and the Vikings and kind of struggled a little bit today because it was a 10-7 game... A very weird 5-0.

The Kansas City Chiefs have 'real problems' beyond just their defense

I think the Chiefs have real problems. I think that they don't... They do and they don't actually I should take that back because they have Patrick Mahomes so he will make up... The Chiefs defense is very, very bad.

The Red Sox are going to win the World Series

I mean, the Red Sox, I think they're going to win the World Series at this point. I think everything that happens... doesn't it feel like they have those weird vibes going now?

Beating Alabama in the SEC is as meaningful as winning a national title

Beating Alabama, if you're in the SEC, if you beat Alabama, that's almost as good as winning a national title in terms of like, you'd be like, well, we beat Alabama a couple years ago.

I think Geno Smith might be a franchise quarterback

I think Geno Smith, I think he might be a franchise quarterback.

I really thought this was the Cardinals' year in the World Series

It sucks because Cardinals were actually my pick to win the World Series, so I feel bad about that. I really did think it was their year.

The Packers will dominate the Bengals by 10 points

My favorite's going to be the Packers. Minus three against the Bengals... I see this being a 10-point, never in doubt, Aaron Rodgers kind of dominates game.

If Urban Meyer were a winning coach, nobody would care about his off-field behavior

If Urban Meyer... was 3-1 at this point, nobody really would give a shit. He could be making out with Tim Tebow's girlfriend or his wife or his mom, and nobody would give a shit about that video as long as he was a winning coach in the NFL. But if you lose, then every time you stick your finger close to a co-ed's butthole, it's going to become news.

I am officially 'standing my ground' on the Steelers against the Broncos

My personal stand my ground game where if the Steelers don't win this game, I am done not only with the Steelers this season, but done betting on them, just pretending they don't exist. This is the game that if they have any pulse left, it's a pulse check. If they have any pulse left, they will win this game.

The Dolphins might beat the Buccaneers outright

I'm going with Buccaneers versus Dolphins. They're minus 10. I think they're going to cover. I think the Dolphins might win outright. Seriously.

The Bills will beat the Chiefs in their Sunday night revenge game

I do think the Bills are going to win this game because I think the revenge factor and also this is one of those games where it's like, which team do you trust more to get a stop? And I would put that on the Bills.

The San Francisco 49ers will regret passing on Justin Fields

Niners got to be regretting passing on [Justin Fields]. I mean, that is a stupid question to be like 10 years from now. Like, what? I don't know. I'm just trying to win one game.

The Browns vs. Chargers game will be a high-scoring over

My over is going to be Browns at Chargers, 47. I like a lot of points in this game.

The loser of the Eagles vs. Panthers game officially stinks

This is an are you for real game... If the Eagles win, it's are you for real? Are you going to be like one of those teams that's hanging around maybe 8-9, 9-8? If the Panthers win this game, I think they're back on track to maybe being a decent team. I'm going to come out of this game thinking the loser stinks.

The Jets and Falcons will stay under 45 points (The 'Lunder')

I'm with Hank and Liam. I am calling this a Lunder. Lunder 45. Lunder, yes.

The Cowboys are currently #2 in the NFL if we used BCS rankings

If we did BCS rankings for the teams right now, I think the Super Bowl would maybe be the Cardinals versus the Cowboys because the Cowboys have the best loss. I think the Cowboys might be number two in the BCS.

Deontay Wilder is a pathetic loser

I don't hate the guy. Guy's a pathetic loser. So how could I have any anger with him at all?

Having anger in a boxing match is a recipe for losing

I think the man who has anger in a boxing match will lose. This is not an angry situation to be in. It's a sporting contest. And I've done all my training. When I get in there, I just do what I got to do. Be relaxed and enjoy it.

Tommy Fury will knock Jake Paul clean out

I think it'll be a big buildup, a lot of talking, a lot of promotional stuff. But I think in the end, Tommy knocks him clean out.

It is nearly impossible to get drunk immediately after a professional fight

I don't really drink after fights, to be honest... And with all the adrenaline that's running through your body, I think it's nearly impossible to get drunk after a fight. See, if I do go out for a drink after everybody, I'll have a couple of lights and then that's me done.

You get rich through saving money, not just earning it

I fly on a plane called Ryanair. That's the cheapest you can fly on in England... In 10, 15 years, when all the boxing's done and all these idiots are all flat broke... I'll still be a multimillionaire. Because it's not how much you can earn. It's how much you can save.

Bucking bulls can sense and feed off a rider's energy

They can tell more so if you're nervous or if things don't feel right with you. They kind of feed off your energy... I'm already like an amped up person as it is. So I guess I'm more of a try to calm myself down, and that way I can actually focus on the things that I'm supposed to be doing.

Whoop-A is currently the baddest bull in the PBR

Currently, it's a bull called Whoop-A. W-O-O-P-A-A. Because he's produced the biggest numbers. He jumps the highest, kicks the hardest, and he's just an incredible animal athlete.

Dillinger was a better bull than Bodacious

I'd be a Dillinger guy. As far as what a guy would want to see out of a bucking bull as a rider, I think that Dillinger was a way better bull.

Bucking bulls are getting tougher and bred to buck harder

Bulls are getting tougher. It's just like the horse racing industry. They bred faster horses. They're breeding bulls to buck harder. And that's where we're finding a lack in actually getting more bull riders into the sport.

Being smaller is a distinct advantage for professional bull riders

It's an advantage to be smaller. Just a lower center of gravity... There's a balance between being light and you have to be, I guess, an actual athlete. You can't just be... I mean, there is some exceptions to the rules, but for the most part, everybody's pretty much a physical specimen.

The best way to eat a cookie is to make it giant with a crispy outside and gooey inside

Instead of making small cookies, I make four gigantic cookies. And then I bake them. And then I make them gooey, and then I eat one... Well, the thing about the big cookie is you can get the outside crispy and then the inside gooey.

Ted Bundy is a wildly overrated serial killer

Ted Bundy is wildly overrated. I mean, I... Ted Bundy was overrated as a killer. He's just good looking.

The Red Sox will beat the Yankees 6-4 in the 2021 American League Wild Card game

I think it's going to be Red Sox 6, Yankees 4. Take the over. Red Sox money line.

The Yankees will beat the Red Sox 5-4 in the 2021 Wild Card game

I'm going to go Yankees 5-4... The Powerball number that was drawn in Boston was 1-9-7-8, 1978. 1978, the Red Sox blew like a 20-game lead over the Yankees... Yankees win 5-4. Yankees go on to win the World Series over the Dodgers. That's what's happening this year.

Garrett Cole will be chased from the Wild Card game after only two innings

Garrett Cole getting chased after two innings would be great. Schwarber going yard off Cole, hitting the ball 500 feet.

The Yankees will beat the Red Sox 7-5 in the 2021 American League Wild Card game

I'm going to go Yankees 7, Red Sox 5. Look for an unlikely hero in the name of Andrew Velazquez or Greg Allen for the Yankees.

The Yankees will beat the Red Sox 6-3 in the 2021 American League Wild Card game

I'm going to go 6-3 Yankees. I think [Giancarlo] Stanton and [Aaron] Judge are going to be popping off.

The Chargers are the most complete team in the AFC

The story was the Chargers are awesome. The Chargers are really good. I think that they are the best team in the AFC right now. I think they're the most complete team.

Texas will beat Oklahoma in the 2021 Red River Rivalry

I actually think Texas can beat Oklahoma on Saturday. Clemson has two losses. Everything is setting up to have Cincinnati or BYU crash the party and lose by 100 to Alabama.

A one-loss Power 5 team will still get into the College Football Playoff over an undefeated Cincinnati

I still think a one-loss Power 5 team will get in over Cincinnati just because that's what they do... they also don't have a schedule, enough data points is what they call it, to probably climb back.

The upcoming Game of Thrones prequel will be disappointing because it reminds fans of the original show's ending

The end of Game of Thrones sucks. And they're never making more Game of Thrones ever again. So even though if this is good, it's still one of those things where if you watch it, you're like, this is the best series ever. Can't wait to see what happens. That person is going to be disappointed. It's going to bring back feelings of just like sadness.