Takes

The Rams will finish with over 7.5 wins this season

I've launched a nuclear missile on the Rams season win total. It's over seven and a half right now... They've got two wins already. They play a lot of winnable games for the remainder of the year. It was minus one 14. It's my biggest bet of the season so far.

Giannis Antetokounmpo will eventually play for the Knicks

I still think Giannis is gonna end up on the Knicks... I asked him, because Giannis after the benefit was like, 'You a Bucks fan?' I was like, 'Fuck the Bucks, I'm a Knicks fan.' ...He goes, 'Well you never know where I end up next free agency.' and his brother kind of was like nodding. They wanna be in New York.

Michigan will win the National Championship this year

Michigan is winning the national championship. I I, I think they might and I'm hoping they do. So Jim Harbaugh will, will leave the college game. He's proven everything he has to prove.

Georgia will lose at least one game this season

Alright, I'll, I'll go. They're [Georgia] gonna lose one game.

I will buy into every weird drug and science Aaron Rodgers does if he returns to play this season

If Aaron Rodgers plays football in this season, I will buy whatever drugs in every weird thing that he does immediately... I will, I will essentially just my entire life I'll be like, you know what? I was wrong. His science [might be right].

The Commanders will win 10 games this season

I think, I think the Commanders will win 10 games this season. I think they're on track for 10. We, I would've liked to have this one [vs Eagles] going into Philly.

The Eagles will beat the Commanders by 25 points

Congrats Max. I'm just going to give it to you. 25 point win for the Eagles this week. The defensive line is going to eat. I blame 40% on the offensive line, 40% on Sam Howell, and then 20% on Tony P in DC.

The Chiefs will throttle the Jets because Taylor Swift is attending

Chiefs are going to fucking throttle them. The fact that Taylor Swift is going, the chiefs are going to fucking throttle them. And the chief's defense has not been talked about, has been very good this year.

The Washington Huskies will win the National Championship

I'm going to give you [a future bet] and I want you to go put whatever you want to put on it. On the Washington Huskies. Michael Penix is legit. I think their schedule is very favorable. They're going to score 40 on everybody. This is the most wide open season we've ever seen in college football.

The San Francisco 49ers will win the Super Bowl

Super Bowl Champ: San Francisco 49ers. It is going to be an amazing thing to see Deebo and Trent Williams walk out next to the dude with the big boombox at the Super Bowl.

The Cubs will not make the playoffs after their September collapse

The Cubs have had just an epic collapse. The Cubs are most likely not going to make the playoffs because they don't have any tiebreakers. Suzuki just missed a ball, it went right by him. Easy catch. There's nothing worse than a September collapse.

The Eagles would still be 97% successful on the tush push if it were banned

I actually think that if they ban this play, I think the Eagles will still do it. And it will go from like 99% success to like 97% success... 90% of the time [Jalen Hurts] is getting those yards himself.

Charlie Woods is on pace to win 40 majors

Charlie Woods just won a tournament. Charlie won a tournament... right now he's on pace to win 40 Majors, which is pretty incredible.

Alabama will win the SEC West and recover from their early season struggles

Alabama, we buried Alabama. Unfortunately for us, we didn't look at the schedule because they are gonna win the SEC west... now that they've decided on Jalen Milroe as their quarterback and they're actually building an offense around him running plays that work for him, I think that's gonna help them going forward.

Texas is a legitimate National Title contender because of their improved line play

Texas... I think they're very good now. I think they're legitimate college football playoff legit. The difference with Texas this year versus Texas really since 2009 is there are legitimate NFL players on both sides of the line of scrimmage... they've developed them and these dudes can play.

The New York Jets should trade for Kirk Cousins

If you're the Jets, you gotta at least make a call about Kirk Cousins right now. I know they probably won't do it, but you have to ask the question... the Vikings have to admit, like, right now you're rebuilding.

The 2023 Chicago Bears will go 0-17

My overly direct take is that the Bears are gonna go oh and 17.

The Chicago Bears will have the first and second picks in the 2024 NFL Draft

I think the Bears might have the first and second pick in the draft. That's my overly direct take.

Russell Wilson will be benched this year

I also have a direct take, overly direct take. I think Russell Wilson will get benched this year. I do, I do. Sean Payton has no allegiance to him.

The Dolphins are guaranteed an AFC Championship spot if Tua stays healthy

My overly direct take is that if Tua Tagovailoa stays healthy, his Dolphins are guaranteed a spot in the AFC Championship. Guaranteed. If he stays healthy, fully healthy. If he doesn't miss any games.

If the Giants only have two wins going into November, they will be the best two-win team in the NFL

If they only have two wins going into November, I think the Giants will be the best two-win team in the entire NFL going into November.

The Patriots are drafting Caleb Williams with the first overall pick

Congratulations to the New England Patriots on drafting Caleb Williams with the first overall pick.

The Commanders are a Super Bowl team if they beat the Bills in Week 3

If they [Commanders] win this game, I'm almost thinking soupy [Super Bowl] Big Cat. That's how delusional I'm getting. Why not us?

Justin Fields' best effort likely won't be enough for the Bears to beat the Chiefs

I do think they're [Bears] gonna give their best effort, but unfortunately for them, their best effort's probably not gonna be enough [against the Chiefs].

The Bengals will 'right the ship' and beat the Rams in Week 3

I'm gonna take the Bengals minus three. I actually think this is the Bengals week to right the ship. I've been the Bengals whisperer... now's the time.

Rupert Murdoch is 'going to die soon' after retiring

He's [Rupert Murdoch] going to die soon. He's like Choppa, you take him out of his job, he going to die... Rupert Murdoch, he's gonna fall down some stairs and die. I'm gonna call my shot right now. He's dead.

I believe I can win 12 majors in my career

I feel like I can get to 12. I mean, think how many, I've already blown like... I feel like I should have nine right now.

The Steelers will be a perfect Mike Tomlin team that goes .500 but misses the playoffs

It does feel like the Steelers are gonna just be a perfect Mike Tomlin team that they won't go under 500, but probably also won't make the playoffs.

Colorado will lose to Oregon by a lot

I think Oregon's gonna win by a lot.

Washington might be a worthy future bet in college football

Washington might be, I might have to put a future on Washington. They're so electric.

If the Commanders win the Super Bowl, I will eat a steak

If we win the Super Bowl, I'll have a steak... Y'all have to take me to the best steak in the world.

The Falcons are a playoff team

The Falcons are gonna the playoffs. I think so. I'm gonna say it right now... I think the Falcons could be like a nine win team. They have the Texans and the Cardinals. So those are, those are nice two wins.

If the Bears have the #1 pick, they must take Caleb Williams

If they have the number one pick, you have to take Caleb Williams. Yeah. That's, I I don't care how the rest of the season goes. You just have to because, but then the world should get mad at the Bears for taking Caleb Williams and probably ruining, robbing the world of Caleb Williams.

Sam Howell is good enough to win 10 games this season

I think Sam Howell is good enough to win 10 games this season. Yeah. I, with the rest of that defense. I think the Commanders are a, you know, you could, you could make the argument... they came back from 21 to three. Like that's t you have to have something to be able to do that.

The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl

My overly direct take is the Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl.

The Tennessee Titans are gonna win the AFC South

My overly direct take is the Tennessee Titans are gonna win the AFC South.

The Cardinals are going to win at least five games this season

The Cardinals are going to win at least five games. Five games. They've been competitive in both of these games.

Budda Baker will be an Eagle by the end of the week

Budda Baker will be an eagle by the end of the week... he practiced all week and then today he was a late add to the injury report and inactive for the game. Okay. You know, they don't want to get him hurt before a deal's coming. Eagles cleared two guys off of their practice squad to make room for potentially bringing somebody else in.

The Minnesota Vikings are my 2023 pinky team and they won't win the Super Bowl

The Minnesota Vikings are my pinky team. It's official. They are not winning the season. I can't believe we got an early drop. Nowhere, nowhere close. They're 0-2 and I actually thought Kirk Cousins played okay tonight.

Victor Wembanyama is the real deal but will face early growing pains

He got the whole, you know, he's like, kid's the real deal, you know, left pull up everywhere. Left. Right. You know, handle seven foot three. I mean, we haven't seen anything like that. I think there's gonna be, you know, some growing pains. But he got the perfect coach with Pop who's gonna just sit him down and be like, yo young fella, just take it easy.

Texas will make the College Football Playoff this year

I think Texas is gonna be in the college football playoff this year. I sprinkled a little future on them winning the title this year. I think they're gonna make the playoff.

Iowa will have an offensive explosion and hit the over against Western Michigan

I'm gonna take whatever the Iowa team total is. Bet the over on it. Because Ferentz is gonna keep his guys in. He knows in the back of his head, if it's late in the third quarter... they need to score some more points.

The Panthers will win more than four games this year

They'll win more than four games... I think they could sneak in [to the playoffs]. I don't think it's a fluke. If the Panthers win more than four games... I want some joggers or something.

Calvin Ridley is on a mission and is going to 'ball' this year

Calvin Ridley is going ball. That's a man on a mission. And some corners are gonna have to deal with that man being on a mission.

The Commanders will win 9 to 11 games if Sam Howell stays average

Sam Howell did enough. Sam Howell, he played just good enough to not lose. And I think if he can be average, if Sam can stay average, we should win like nine, 10, maybe 11 games this year.

The Bengals will still be there at the end of the year despite their slow start

I fully expect the Bengals to be there at the end of the year. It's just ex like, I also expected this to be a slow start for them. And they played about as bad as you can play.

The Steelers will be a nine and eight team because Mike Tomlin finds a way

I still think the Steelers will be a decent team. They just played a really fucking good team. I think they'll be like seven and 10. No, it's Mike Tomlin so they'll be so correct that to nine and eight. 'cause they'll find a way.

The Jaguars might schedule their way to a Super Bowl

And the Jags, Pete Prisco might just be right. They might just schedule their way to a look at the schedule, to the Super Bowl. Look at the schedule. Their, their, their defense is not that good. And they're offensive, but Josh, Josh Allen, I think Josh Allen had three sacks there.

The single-game passing record will be broken this year

Norm Van Brocklin threw for 554 yards in 1951. That record. What a beast we need. We need to break that record. It's insane that it hasn't been broken yet. I'll throw a Pizza party. Yeah. For whatever quarterback breaks that record this year.

The Bears will finish 11 and 5 and beat the Chiefs

I do think the Bears are still gonna be good this year. And Justin Fields, he's, they're gonna open it up. They're gonna beat the Bucs. I'm now, I'm back. They're gonna beat the Bucs. And guess what? They're gonna be beat the Chiefs. They are. Chris Jones won't be playing still. The Bears are gonna be 11 and five this year.