Takes

Roy Williams has been a better coach than Coach K since he joined the ACC in 2003

I actually do feel like my take about [Roy Williams] being a better coach than Coach K has been vindicated at this point. Since he's been at North Carolina, North Carolina has five Final Four appearances. Duke's only had three. They've won the ACC in the regular season nine times to Coach K's three since he's been there.

North Carolina should not hire Brad Stevens

America wants it to be Carolina and I want to come on your show nationally and say: We don't want Brad Stevens. Why do I want a floundering NBA coach to be my coach? I'm trying to win championships. Send him to Duke. He's a private school coach. Send him to Duke.

Hubert Davis will probably be the next head coach at North Carolina

I think the plan right now, as Big Cat said, is Hubert Davis. Hubert Davis will probably be the next head coach in North Carolina. I love Hubert Davis as a guy. I don't know Hubert Davis as a coach. So we'll see.

Coach K won the long-term war against Roy Williams by successfully navigating the one-and-done era

Coach K won the war. In 2010, 2009, going into 2010, Duke basketball was dead. Carolina won the war. We won in 2005, won in 2009. Duke has no hope, and [Coach K] was able to outlast and endure [by moving into the one-and-done era].

Kansas and North Carolina are the top two jobs in college basketball

I think that the top two jobs in college basketball are Kansas and North Carolina, and they're interchangeable to me. Kentucky is probably number three on that list for me. I think UCLA is the fourth best job in the country.

Indiana basketball is the fifth best job in the country

I think my fifth school would probably be Indiana. I think that in general, you just have kids that want to play there because of the prestige, tradition, whatever it is. And you have Indianapolis, which has a ton of basketball talent and the surrounding area in general.

Houston winning the Final Four would be the worst case scenario for entertainment

I think Houston winning is worst case, though, because if Houston's in the title game, then Gonzaga or UCLA will beat them, in my opinion. I'm terrified of that.

Indiana basketball fans are exactly like Nebraska football fans

Indiana fans, they're much like Nebraska football fans where they think the glory days are right around the corner from coming back, and that is torture. That is true torture.

North Carolina is actually a football school now and Sam Howell will win the Heisman Trophy

North Carolina is a football school. Always has been, always will be. Sam Howell for Heisman. Yes. That's all it is.

I am officially retiring from giving pregame speeches

I gave them [Tony Scheffler's team] a pump up speech before state quarterfinals. And then they lost by like 40. I'm retiring from the pregame speech. We'll stop doing speeches.

10:00 PM tip-offs separate the real college basketball fans from the casuals

The late start times, I initially was like, you know what? This separates the casuals from the real fans like me, if you're willing to stay up until 10 for a tip-off. Two school nights in a row of 10 o'clock tip-offs. I think I've seen enough.

Gonzaga is so good that you shouldn't overthink their dominance

Gonzaga had the classic situation tonight where everyone is so sick of how good Gonzaga is that they all said to themselves, USC is the toughest opponent they'll ever meet... And I tweeted, obviously I lost the Michigan bet, but I said, don't overthink it. Gonzaga's that good.

Zach Wilson's cross-body pro day throw was absolutely insane

Zach Wilson had an insane throw where he rolled out left and then cross body through towards the right pylon, like 70 yards in the air.

Mac Jones' pro day was not good and Bill Belichick was clearly unimpressed

As entertaining as it is, Mac Jones' pro day was not good... Bill Belichick was watching and he was like shaking his head no... He was putting the binoculars on the opposite way to look further away from Mac Jones because he was not happy.

Baylor is going to absolutely crush Houston in the Final Four

So I think that Baylor is going to shit pump Houston. Well, so Houston deserves credit. I'm going to do it. I bashed them... They can't shoot.

The 2021 Final Four will likely be the lowest-watched in history because it lacks traditional blue-blood programs

This is going to be, not that we care, but there are people who care, probably the lowest watch final four. Right. You don't have any traditional blue bloods... you don't have any Big Ten. You don't have any ACC.

The 2021 UConn-Baylor women's Elite Eight game was better than every game on the men's side

The UConn-Baylor women's game was better than any Elite Eight game in the men's side. For sure. It was an incredible game.

Michael Strahan sold out by getting the gap in his teeth fixed

My hot seat's Michael Strahan... He got rid of the gap in his teeth... His approval rating will probably, I mean, people are used to seeing the gap, and it's like, you know, embrace your imperfections, dude.

The lowercase 'p' is just a smaller version of the uppercase 'P' that sits lower on the line

The lowercase P is the same as the uppercase P just moved down just like a little bit lower... But it's the exact same letter... Same but different.

Hugh Jackson is still the shadow head coach of the Cleveland Browns

Technically, Hugh Jackson got the Browns to the playoffs this year... because he's still employed. He's the shadow coach of the Cleveland Browns... I'm going to consider Hugh Jackson the shadow, the actual head coach of the Browns until I think he's got like another year.

Kevin Durant has actually become more likable by being more online

Kevin Durant is the most online person of all time. I think he has done the impossible. Usually when people are more online, they become worse people... Kevin Durant has become more likable by being online more.

More than 80% of Major League pitchers doctor the baseball in some way

What percentage of non-athletics pitchers in general do you think are doctoring the ball in some way, shape, or form? I would say probably somewhere in the north of 80%... In terms of guys that just like that would use pine tar or something of that nature.

Fernando Tatis Jr. is at risk for a regression year as the league adjusts to him

Is there a chance he [Fernando Tatis Jr.] might not have a great season because people figure him out and it's a quote-unquote sophomore slump even though it's his third year? And is there a chance that happens and we maybe got a little bit ahead of ourselves with the hype?

The Oakland Athletics can go deeper in the playoffs this season than they did last year

There's no reason that the Oakland A's, there's no reason that the Oakland A's can't make a run deeper into the postseason than they did last year... Matt Olsen very well could lead the league in home runs. Baseball. Fuck the league. Baseball. He very well could lead baseball in home runs.

Walker Buehler is going to light the league up during the 2021 season

Why not walker buehler... I think that dude is gonna light some shit up this year if I'm being frank.

Returning fans will make the 2021 season a miserable 'Integrity Tour' for the Astros

The Astros tour that happened last year... It's going to be different this year, man. It's going to be different this year because I don't care that it's 5,000, 10,000 fans, whatever. They're going to hear it, and they didn't hear it last year... We need to do a better job... of reminding people that the Astros did not get their tour last year.

The Dodgers and White Sox are the strongest candidates to reach the World Series

I believe the Dodgers are going to be there. I believe the White Sox are a team that is being strongly considered. I just, I feel like if they can handle business in their division, I like, man, I just like how they're built.

The under is the best bet for the remainder of the NCAA Tournament

Unders are back big time, with the exception of this game that's happening right now and then that miracle overtime game with UCLA and Alabama. I think every under hit, right? So it's in the middle of the Oregon-USC game right now... But, yeah, unders are back.

Oregon State is the greatest team of all time

Oregon State, Loyola Chicago. Oregon State is just the greatest team of all time. And I'm going to say that about pretty much every team, just be warned that I don't have a lot in my repertoire right now, but they are the greatest team as of right now.

Baylor is beatable because they are a streaky shooting team

I'm caught between that they [Baylor] didn't play their best and still won, so they're really good, and they're beatable because they went three for 19 from three, and they were a little bit streaky. Their best players didn't play their A games.

Sportswriters are the only people capable of ruining the Oral Roberts feel-good story

And we finally got actually Oral Roberts' bad takes coming from some of the sportswriters who dug into the history of the school, found all the quotes from all the people there. And only sportswriters could make Oral not a feel-good story. They could suck the fun out of a blowjob.

Max Abmas' missed buzzer-beater against Arkansas is one of the most notable misses in NCAA tournament history

We've got [Max Abmas'] missed buzzer beater for Oral Roberts. I think it's up there with one of the most, like, Gordon Hayward missed territory. Like, it's one of the most notable misses in NCAA tournament history.

Gonzaga is the 2018 Villanova of this tournament

Gonzaga's starting to feel like the 2018 Nova team that beat everyone by double digits and just blitzed everyone. We were at that championship game. They were an absolute wagon. It's starting to feel like that. Because you thought like, oh, Creighton, they hit the three... They didn't hang with them at all.

I've accepted that Gonzaga is winning the National Championship

Gonzaga is probably not going to lose. I've just accepted the fact Gonzaga is probably going to win this NCAA championship.

Alabama's refusal to shoot mid-range jumpers hurt their free throw shooting

I would ask maybe the lack of mid-range jump shots in practice and making it one point and saying everyone has to only shoot fours or twos had something to do with them going 11 for 25 from the free throw line in a very important situation.

Mick Cronin is an awesome basketball coach

But we should also acknowledge the fact that Mick Cronin is a fucking awesome coach. I'm going to say Mick Cronin is a G. Yeah. And you know what? He is smooth. I'm not talking about his personality. I'm not talking about his coaching style. I'm talking about his body.

The NCAA tournament scheduling is stupid and ignores the fans

The NCAA's scheduling of these games, not to sound like an old man, but fuck, man. Why did I have to wait till 2:30 to watch a game and then I have to stay up till midnight to finish? ... Think of the kids. Think of all the kids that want to watch these games. Thursday, Sunday, please.

The Mike Woodson hire at Indiana probably won't work

They hired Mike Woodson... He's never coached college basketball in his life... That doesn't feel like it's going to work. What do you mean? A guy who has never coached college basketball.

Billy Football doesn't have the punctuality to be a Navy SEAL

Billy drunkenly tweeted... 'I would trade it all to be a Navy SEAL.' Now... rule number one of being a Navy SEAL is punctuality. And Billy fails at that all the time.

People are overreacting to the Nets signing LaMarcus Aldridge

LaMarcus Aldridge signing with the Nets had everyone upset. I still don't understand why. Everyone does the tweet where it's like, look how many All-Stars the Nets have... This is they're doing everyone who's upset about this is doing my Kevin White bit being like Kevin White's a top 10 pick. Eventually you get old and LaMarcus Aldridge, great career, but he's not LaMarcus Aldridge of five, ten years ago.

Baseball suffered the most from having no fans in attendance

I'm very excited about baseball season because baseball, I think, was the sport that suffered the most not having fans in attendance. It didn't feel real with nobody in the stands. There's something about going to a baseball game in the middle of the day in the summertime.

The 49ers definitely traded up to the #3 pick for a quarterback

The biggest ramification from all this is it's clear the 49ers traded up for a quarterback. John Lynch said afterwards, like, no, Jimmy Garoppolo is still our guy. Okay, no, but whatever. Thanks for saying it.

At least four quarterbacks will go in the top 10 of the 2021 NFL Draft

It's going to be like 2011 all over again, I think, where we're going to see four quarterbacks go in the top ten.

Ryan Fitzpatrick will win his first career playoff game in the 2021-22 season

I've made an appointment at Sport Clips for January 10th of 2022. It's the day after Fitzpatrick wins his first playoff game. Ready to go. It's in my outlook right now.

Francis Ngannou's life story deserves a 30 for 30

We do need a 30 for 30 on Francis Ngannou's life. It's crazy. He worked in a sand mine when he was 10 years old in Cameroon... traveled to Europe, took 14 months, failed a bunch of times, had to go to prison because he illegally crossed the border... and now he's a world champ.

Drake is a corny person but his songs are awesome

I'm reserving the right to still think that Drake is corny. [But] his songs are awesome. I think he might have some talent in it. His songs go, as the kids say. He's growing as an artist.

The Chicago Bulls are finally building a winning culture by trading for Nikola Vucevic

The Bulls basically took the entire Garpax regime and threw it in the trash can today, which was awesome. Vucevic coming to Chicago... I'm sick of missing the playoffs and getting the seventh pick and getting a guy that we have to wait on and hope is good. If you want to eventually be a team that can win in the playoffs, you have to make the playoffs. You have to have a culture of hey, we're trying to compete.

The Heat made a great trade by acquiring Victor Oladipo from the Rockets

Oladipo to Miami is a great trade. Yeah, the Rockets somehow, the James Harden trade now is going to look even worse because they have nothing from that.

The Boston Celtics have no chance of beating the Brooklyn Nets or Miami Heat in the playoffs

There's no way we're winning. There's no way we're beating the Nets. We're probably not going to beat the Heat again. That's what sucks about the NBA is where there's really only a few teams that are going to make the finals.

Rajon Rondo was the main reason the Lakers won the 2020 NBA title

Rondo really was the reason why they won the title. [Rondo] the LeBron stopper. People forget, Rondo really was the reason why they won the title.