Takes

The Los Angeles Clippers will not do anything in the 2021 NBA playoffs

I don't really expect the Clippers to do jack shit in the playoffs again this year, but it'll be nice to see [Rondo] out there.

Dan Snyder will remain the owner of the Washington Football Team for the rest of his life

He's going to be the owner of the football team for my entire life. And I've accepted that a long time ago. Even though he's like 30 years older, he's got all the good billionaire medicine I would guess.

Loyola Chicago will reach the 2021 Final Four

Loyola has a path to the Final Four here that's not that hard. So you should have put them higher because now it's going to happen. They're going to get to the Final Four.

Baylor will 'truck' Villanova in the Sweet 16

Baylor's going to truck Villanova. Put it on a board. Put it on a quote board. And I love Villanova... But yeah, Baylor, I've seen that Baylor team. They're going to truck you.

Arkansas will 'kill' Oral Roberts in the Sweet 16

Oral Roberts, Arkansas. Arkansas is going to kill them. Must bust all the way.

Syracuse will defeat Houston in the Sweet 16

I think Syracuse is going to win on Saturday night [against Houston]. Me too. [Jake Marsh] Houston should not, like, Rutgers blew that game. I'm all over Syracuse, too, because, like, the zone. That's what you need to know.

Creighton will upset #1 overall seed Gonzaga in the Sweet 16

I think they're [Gonzaga] getting upset. Yep. Against Creighton? Yep. With the P-word [Greg McDermott's plantation comment]? Yep.

Alabama will reach the 2021 Final Four

I think I got to go Bama. It might just be because we interviewed Nate Oats. That actually might be what pushed me over the top. But I think they've just been scoring too. Like, 96 points against Maryland, to me, that made me feel like Alabama might reach the Final Four.

Mick Cronin wasted the 'dad hug' momentum by seeing his father in the first round instead of the Sweet 16

The whole storyline of not seeing his dad, not hugging his dad for two years... he used it in the first weekend. He should have brought his dad out for this weekend. Then they win this game. I truly believe that. They're showing Hep Cronin in the stands and being like, man, after this game, they're going to get the hug. They somehow find a way. A dad game is a game changer.

A basketball team's pace of play does not correlate to their defensive efficiency

I don't think pace of play correlates to defensive efficiency at all, which you can tell. I mean, we're top three in the country in defensive efficiency. We've been number one for a few weeks... on our offense is one of the fastest, if not the fastest in power five. So I think we can still push the pace on offense and then demand a lot out of them on defense and get stops.

The Alabama football team would win a few games if they played a college basketball schedule

Devontae Smith can probably get up and down on our pace a little bit. I think Mac Jones would be a... you know he's actually good. Bryce Young, I've seen Bryce Young play a little hoop. He can hoop a little bit. We could play a little smash mouth on the offensive glass. I don't know how skilled they'd all be, but we'd make it fun for sure. We'd win a few. We'd get out there and win a few games.

Mid-range jumpers are an 'awful shot' unless a player is shooting at least 60%

It's just all about the efficiency. Like, I mean, if you're shooting 60% on them, like go ahead and take them. That's 1.2 [points per possession]. But the problem is most of the guys are shooting like in the 30% and 40%. And that's an awful shot at those percentages.

Soft basketball teams cannot win in the NCAA Tournament in March

You've got to get to the free throw line. Soft teams can't win in March. There you go. That was a Buffalo quote. I had a few quotes at Buffalo... quit avoiding contact. Get your butt to the free throw line.

Apartment buildings should replace staircases with escalators

Why don't we have escalators instead of staircases in apartment buildings? That to me seems like a much more functional alternative. [Big Cat: That takes up a lot of space.] Same amount as the stairs. I want the stairs to move.

The Suez Canal ship will be bombed if it is not fixed within a week

Eventually they're just gonna have to blow it up. Eventually someone's gonna launch a missile at it. Take it apart piece by piece. They're gonna drop a bomb on it if it's not fixed within a week. That's my prediction.

Bill Walton incepted the Pac-12 teams into becoming the 'Conference of Champions'

He's [Bill Walton] incepted us into thinking that the Pac-12 is actually the Conference of Champions, and now he's incepted the teams themselves into believing in themselves so much that they are now advancing to potentially become the Conference of Champions.

The Pac-12 is officially back now that Larry Scott is gone

No, Larry Scott was the reason why, and he's gone, so the Pac-12 is officially back. Pac-12 is back big time.

Alabama can shoot their way to a college basketball national championship

They're a spider monkey. They could shoot their way to a championship.

Rick Pitino is going to stay at Iona for the long haul

I think that there's a good chance that Rick Pitino gets offered the Kentucky job, and he will turn it down. I think he's going to be in Iona for the long haul.

An NFL team will draft Bo Nix purely because of his name

Somebody's going to draft Bo Nix just based on his name only.

Rondale Moore is a Super Bowl-winning weapon if used in space

If you draft Rondale Moore, get him in space, Super Bowl. We're trying to get more touches with Rondale Moore. That's all it takes.

The Solomon Hill play that injured LeBron James was clean and an example of good coaching

I thought it was a clean play by Solomon Hill. It's just a good, clean Shiano man play.

Jameis Winston learning empathy and showing emotion makes him a dangerous threat in the NFC South

This is very bad news for the NFC South because Jameis Winston has learned empathy. That was the one skill set that was missing in his toolkit. And seeing linebackers. He's learned to acknowledge that there are other people that exist in the world, including linebackers. So now that he's aware of that, look out.

I hope KenPom never updates his website because simple designs are better

I hope he just stays true to form and never updates it. Because his website, he hasn't updated it in forever, and it's great. It's simple, it's great, and I know that at some point he's going to update it, and it's going to suck.

You are statistically less likely to have shrimp in your next box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Statistically, you're more less likely to have shrimp in your next box. [Big Cat: No, but it was zero] ... No, it's like once in a blue moon.

A rival cereal company planted shrimp in Jensen Karp's cereal to change the narrative

This could be a case of, I don't know, maybe a rival cereal company seeing that Cinnamon Toast Crunch was getting all that shine last week. They go into Costco in the dead of night with a box cutter and some tape and a couple of shrimp tails, and they just try to get the story out there to change the narrative.

I would beat Master P in a one-on-one basketball game right now

Man, tell Master P, come on. I take him down right now.

If I become president, I will immediately ban any food that causes health conditions

If I become president, it's going to be an immediate change. I'm talking about a strong change. I'm going to start with food. I'm going to make sure any kind of food that I know draw any kind of health conditions, I'm just literally going to abominate it. I'm not going to ask for laws. I'm not going to ask for nothing. I'm literally going to just abominate them.

Artificial turf is safer for professional soccer players than real grass

It's way safer for the players.

The children's show Bluey is genuinely hilarious

I watch it with my son. I don't like the slander on Bluey. I think Bluey's fucking hilarious.

LeBron James and the Lakers will win the NBA title this year

I think Steph Curry on the West will take it... [Big Cat: No way, are they going to even make the playoffs?] Steph Curry definitely not going to win. LeBron going to take it.

The Brooklyn Nets will win the Eastern Conference

I think the Nets are going to win it in the East. They just got our guy Blake Griffin, so that will be the final piece.

If I get into a fight, I would be charged with murder because my hands are registered weapons

I got legal hands, I can't fight anybody. No seriously, like legally I'd get murder not manslaughter if I get into a fight with someone... because I was registered in a professional boxing match.

I am going to retire from podcasting in three years

I'm going to retire in like three years... I think as soon as I'm like, it's funny being old right now, but then when I'm real old, old, it'll be like, this sucks.

I am a Muss Buss believer

I'm a Muss Buss believer. The runs that they [Arkansas] go on, when they decide to step on the gas pedal, the Muss Buss, and they turn it on against Texas Tech, it was like, there's no going back.

The UNC offense against Wisconsin looked like uncoordinated pool basketball

This performance from UNC was abysmal. The only way I can describe it is UNC looked like they were playing pool basketball on offense. They would get the ball, pivot around, maybe take a couple steps, pass it. They were having no sort of motion, it just looked completely uncoordinated.

Coaches who have won a national championship should be required to wear a suit on the sidelines

If you've won a national championship, you should be required to wear a suit on the sidelines. Bill Self, no. Everyone else, yes. I like Bill Self in a suit. He's a good polo guy, but I agree. Coach K's a suit guy. Jay Wright's a suit guy.

I am officially never saying nice things about Purdue again

God damn it, Purdue, the first time I think I've ever said nice things about Purdue and being like, watch out for Purdue, they fucking do that. So that will teach me to never be nice to Purdue again.

Sister Jean is a witch who uses dark magic to usurp God's throne

Sister Jean, this is not a nice prayer. I think Sister Jean's a witch. I think it's like a little dark magic. She's drawing people away from God's light and more towards Sister Jean's light. Is she usurping God? Is she the Meghan Markle of the kingdom of heaven?

Oregon State is the best team in the country right now

Oregon State's the best team in the country as of right now... Oregon State's the hottest team in the country. They're incredible. The Beavers. Shout out to Beavers.

The Syracuse zone defense is the most perfect invention in the history of college basketball

It's honestly like the most perfect invention in the history of college basketball. I can't think of a gimmicky type offense or defense besides maybe the triple option at certain schools that has existed for this long and will always fuck you up even when you know that it's coming for you.

Buddy Boeheim should be the #1 pick for the Houston Rockets and will be a 10-time NBA All-Star

Buddy Boeheim would be my number one pick if I were the Houston Rockets. Buddy Boeheim, dude, he can't miss. He's shooting 55% from three... I'm telling you he is going to be a 10-time All-Star in the NBA.

Coaches who don't wear their masks correctly are destined to lose in the tournament

Not saying this is a causal relationship, but the three coaches who seemed the least interested in wearing their masks this season were Brad Underwood, Bob Huggins, and Chris Beard. Gone, gone, gone. So if you don't wear your mask, your team will lose in the tourney.

Houston is the blandest, least likable team that is good at basketball

Houston has to be the blandest, least likable team that's good at basketball. Good defense. Who likes Houston? Kelvin Sampson's a jerk. Like, who likes that? They're big city Houston Cougars and like they have no real personality and just like they're always good but never really good.

Houston should focus exclusively on dunking and rebrand as 'Phi Slamma Jamma' to fix their image

If I'm Houston, you've got to realize that you have an image problem. And the best way they can do that is just label their team Phi Slamma Jamma and just focus on dunking for a year. That's all it takes. Just focus on dunking for one year, call themselves Phi Slamma Jamma 2: The Return of the Dunk.

I'm officially admitting it: Iowa is actually good

I'm going to say something nice about Iowa. Iowa is fucking good, okay? Iowa fans, they are. I'm ready to admit it. They're fucking good. They are. I think Iowa is going to beat Oregon.

Jason Preston will be the darling of March that the whole world talks about if Ohio wins another game

Jason Preston... is the story of the tournament. If Ohio can win tomorrow against Creighton, there will be so many stories written about him. He is going to be a darling of March that the whole world talks about.

The NCAA will start rigging the 'First Four' with giant state schools for ratings next year

My prediction is the NCAA is going to think about doing something similar to that next year... They'll definitely have the two biggest names... There might be some monkey business when it comes to the last four in where they don't invite teams like smaller alumni bases. They just get two bona fide giant state schools to square off in that first game for ratings.

The Chicago Cubs prospect Jesus Camargo was likely a front for a drug cartel

Jesus Camargo was arrested after police found 21 pounds of meth in his team equipment bag... Is this something that's an organizational thing where he was assigned to do that? I wouldn't put it past Ricketts to make money any which way. It would not shock me. It'd actually be good for baseball if the Chicago Cubs were just straight up like the Juarez cartel.

The biggest mistake you can make after tripping is speeding up your pace to look more athletic

You can't do what Joe Biden did, and that is the initial reaction whenever you trip going upstairs is 'let me speed my pace up to show everyone how athletic I am and ha-ha, I didn't trip up these stairs.' Well, then you just trip up more stairs.