Takes

Alex Ovechkin will break the NHL goal record this season against the Penguins

I think he's gonna do it this year. I think he's gonna do it against the [Penguins] at the end of the season... I think it's the game against the Penguins towards the end of the regular season... April 17th... Having him break it right in Sidney Crosby's face would be incredible.

The Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup this year

The caps are... legitimately a good team. They've got a bunch of great players... I think it is the caps year. I believe they have the best record in hockey.

The 76ers should shut down Joel Embiid and tank for Cooper Flagg

They stink. Joel Embiid, they should shut him down for the season and they should tank for Cooper Flagg.

The Yankees changed their facial hair policy specifically for Juan Soto

This might have been part of Juan Soto's contract. What's the free agent class coming up? Maybe there's something there.

The Celtics are officially 'all the way back' as title favorites

The Celtics waxed [the Knicks]... it's back on. All, all the way back on. The last five, they've won each by minimum 13.

JJ Watt will come out of retirement to play for the Cincinnati Bengals

JJ Watt is back. He is probably going to come out of retirement to play for the Bengals... I'm rooting for that to happen. I think he would be able to do it.

St. John's can make the Final Four this year

St. John's can make the Final Four and the statistical data backs it up... This St. John's team plays a lot like those Louisville teams [Rick Pitino's]... They are a real threat to make it to San Antonio this April.

Maryland is a dark horse to reach the Final Four

I think much like Greg Gard and his staff, Kevin Willard and his staff went to the lab... they're dangerous. They're not over-reliant on any one or two pieces... Maryland can go deep.

Duke is a defensive wagon and a national title favorite

Duke is damn good. They are, they are a spectacular team. They're a wagon defensively... If you force me to take Duke/Auburn or the field today, I would take Duke/Auburn.

T.J. Otzelberger will be the next head coach at Indiana

If I had to make a prediction right now, I would say T.J. Otzelberger... I think he makes a lot of sense. I think he's done a phenomenal job at Iowa State... He should be the guy that Indiana pursues the most.

Putting beans in chili is 'woke'

I think I agree with him that beans and chili are woke... it is like Texas chili is just meat... This is like nerfing chili. It's not letting dudes fart. Dudes can't even fart anymore because we're taking the beans out of chili.

Lactose intolerance is a fake condition that everyone actually has

Lactose intolerant... that's fake. It's as fake as fake gets. No, it's fake. Everyone's lactose intolerant. If I eat too much ice cream, my tummy hurts. Am I lactose intolerant? So everyone is.

Auston Matthews has become 'too Canadian' and that is why the US lost the Four Nations tournament

My takeaway from this game is that Austin Matthews has become too Canadian. And that's why we lost the game. Because he's a Maple Leaf and Maple Leafs never win anything. And we saw that.

Michigan is the shittiest state in the United States

Oh, that's the shittiest state. You guys own that? Michigan sucks. Really? Michigan sucks. If you have no other 49 states to go to.

Removing human umpires from baseball takes away 50% of the reason to watch

I do worry as always that when you take away umps, you, you take away like 50% of the conversations guys can have with each other. And that goes for refs and, and everything in sports. If you can't complain about the calls, what are we gonna talk about? It'd basically be like putting a ban on no discussion about the weather.

Baseball is the worst of the four major North American sports

I'm not a ball guy. Slow game. Bottom, bottom of the four major sports for sure. Hockey, football, then to throw the NBA. And then we gotta drop to MLB.

You cannot win big in college basketball with high school kids anymore

I I don't think you can win and win big with high school kids. Huh? I don't, I really don't believe it. I wish it was true now. Good recruiting. I I think New York is more attractive away from New York than in New York. I agree that as somebody who used to live in New York.

The NCAA 20-hour rule for practice is 'absurd' in the NIL era

The ncaa, I've always said this about them, they are never proactive. They're always reactive. The fact that we have a 20 hour rule right now is, is absurd. Now, we don't spend 20 hours now this part of the season because we don't want to get injured. But in the beginning, in the summertime, they give you five hours a week. That's crazy.

Indiana should immediately hire Chris Beard without interviewing anyone else

If I was the ad at Indiana, I would immediately not even interview anybody else and hire one of the premier coaches in all of college basketball. And that's Chris Beard from Ole Miss. I wouldn't even think about another person. He's perfect for that job. He's a tough, hard-nosed coach. He's a superstar top three coach in my estimation.

The Eagles didn't blitz once in the Super Bowl against Patrick Mahomes

We didn't even blitz one time. We had, we had some blitzes drawn up, you know, to run. And when you got those guys up front, you know, we never really, never really had to.

Going for it on 4th down with the Eagles was a major culture shock compared to Iowa

Being being used to just playing field position and, and you know, having our, having our defense, you know, just keep, keep their offense pinned back. It was, it was a little different for me. Especially those first few weeks when we're, we're around our own 50 yard line and we're just going for it on, on fourth and three. At Iowa, like, that'd be, that'd be a no brainer. Like, like punt.

A 2032 asteroid will likely hit the Earth and specifically ruin a Cleveland Browns Super Bowl run

My fire fest of the week is that there's an asteroid heading towards Earth. It's scheduled to hit the planet potentially in 2032. This tells me this has like Brown Super Bowl run written all over it. And the asteroid shows up.

We are currently in the worst three weeks of the sports calendar

I believe that we are in the worst three weeks of the sports calendar. ... It's these two to three weeks where we haven't gotten to March Madness. Because then once we get to March Madness, then it's Masters, then it's NBA and NHL playoffs. ... I think these are the worst two to three weeks of the entire year. Right now.

LeBron James ruined the All-Star OGs picture

LeBron is wearing street clothes and he's standing in the middle [of the All-Star OGs picture]. ... It's the definition of stop trying to fit out and start trying to fit in. ... He ruined the picture. He really did.

The NBA internally tried to send Luka Doncic to the Lakers to stop LeBron James from starting a rival league

What if the NBA forced Luka [Doncic] to the Lakers to basically like forced LeBron to stay? Because the Luka thing still doesn't make any sense. ... LeBron is clearly like doing something, like something's going on where he is protesting... and maybe the NBA knew about this internally and they tried to send Luka to LA to somehow stop LeBron from doing what he's trying to do.

Caitlin Clark is paid what she is worth right now because she hasn't won a championship

I think that she's paid what she's worth right now. She gotta win the big one. ... She's never won a college national championship. Never won a WNBA national championship. ... Talk to me when she's got a chip. When she gets that ring.

The era of working from home is over

Working from home's done. I'm gonna say he's right. ... I fundamentally, I understand working from home is awesome for a lot of people, but I do think that you lose... the younger generation is gonna lose out. ... Not working with other people and having the coalescence of ideas... you will lose out.

Canada will beat the USA in the Four Nations final

Thursday night we're gonna put on a spanking to you Americans. ... You're gonna see McJesus, Makar, MacKinnon and Crosby put on a goddamn show in front of the Boston crowd. ... Thursday we're gonna find an answer and we're gonna bring it to you in your own house.

Alexander Ovechkin is not on the Mount Rushmore of hockey

I don't think that anybody would have him in the Mount Rushmore of hockey. ... Once he passes Gretzky for goals, I would say he's probably yes, gonna be coming in around like sixth or seventh all time. I think still a lot of people put Stevie Y ahead of him.

Connor Hellebuyck is unproven in elimination games

Hellebuyck has been on this incredible run... not so much in playoffs or in big money games. ... In an elimination situation when all the chips are on the table, he is unproven.

Canada will win the Four Nations final 6-2

Six to two. Six-two. McJesus will rise. They will light up Hellebuyck in an elimination situation. ... Jordan 'The Snowman' Binnington will have an incredible performance for the Canadians in net. Mark my words. An absolute spanking.

Connor Bedard has 'dog in him' and will become one of the greats

I believe that he does have dog in him and it will eventually be unleashed. He's too stubborn not to become one of the greats. ... This kid is very young, he's very determined and he is gonna figure it out with my help.

The United States is currently the best hockey country in the world

Guess what? We're the best fucking country in the world in hockey... until Canada, until Canada to be on Thursday. We right now as of the second we're still the best hockey country in the world. We got the cup. They're not getting it back.

Canada won't get the Stanley Cup back from the United States

We got the Stanley Cup. They're not getting it back.

The NHL's Four Nations tournament completely outclassed the NBA All-Star weekend

The NHL absolutely bodied the NBA in terms of getting it right and what they did, what they've done with the Four Nations Tournament instead of the All-Star game versus everything that's been going on for the NBA All-Star game. It's not even close.

LeBron James sitting out the All-Star game two hours before tip-off was a lame move

LeBron James decide he is not playing in the Allstar game two hours before the All-Star game... dude, just say you're gonna do this five days ago. Don't do it two hours before the All-Star game. And people do wanna see you play and it's probably, you're, you're at the end of your career. It's just kind of a lame move.

Booing national anthems in sports creates healthy bad blood

I'm fine with it. I like the fact that they, that there's some bad blood there. Like for a while. USA Canada, we've been buddy buddy... but to like actually drum up some hate for your opponent, I think is really good. It's awesome.

Aaron Rodgers would still be a Jet if Greg Zuerlein had made more kicks

Aaron Rogers probably still be a jet if Greg Zuerlein was made a couple kicks... Blew six fourth quarter leads. You win those games, you're in the playoffs.

NFL locker room standards should not be judged by corporate workplace standards

When you try to take the outside world and judge a locker room and how it operates and basically put it into corporate America or a classroom or any type of place where people gather together and there's a little bit more decorum, you're always gonna be shocked by the locker room... you can't judge it that way. That it just never works that way.

99% of football is technically bullying

Like 99% of football is technically bullying.

The Wisconsin Badgers are good enough to make an Elite Eight run

I officially believe that this Badger team could make a make a run... I fully believe they could be a like, elite eight team and that's always a disaster for me.

The Mavericks' process in the fictional Luka Doncic trade was indefensible

Having said all those things, you still will never be able to defend the process. The execution of this is indefensible. But then I think about Luca like is this this wake up call for him... you still will never be able to defend the process.

The Denver Nuggets are the fourth-best championship contender when healthy

I think Denver's the fourth team when Denver has Aaron Gordon and this version of Jamal Murray. Even with a diminished bench, it's like you can't rule, especially, you know, you look at the depth, the extra days off depth isn't as big of an issue.

The Milwaukee Bucks' championship window is likely already closed

The Giannis thing is is terrific... But I I think the reality is the NBA stories, the way they go, like their, their window's probably already closed.

Paul George is essentially just Tobias Harris with better branding

Paul George is Tobias Harris with better branding. Whoa. Yeah. I mean they're all back tonight... Paul George, Paul George, I know he had a better January, but like off key, he, he needs to be a dude while MB is out through all of this. And instead he's totally comfortable getting his ISO 17 footer up.

The Philadelphia 76ers will lose in the NBA play-in tournament

How do you think the sixth or season ends this year bad... They're gonna losing the plan, losing the plan prediction.

The Oklahoma City Thunder will defeat the Boston Celtics in seven games to win the NBA Finals

Thunder over Boston in... would be seven thunder. Get it at home.

Shredder and the Ninja Turtles appear in every episode together but never actually kill each other

If you've ever watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Shredder is in every episode. The Ninja Turtles are in like every episode. They never actually kill each other. They just fight.

A Dungeons and Dragons player who shapeshifts into an animal too early cannot be trusted

If you morph into something else already, how can you be trusted? Right. It's not even, especially if it's not even known yet. [I need to] fit in with like the rest of the crowd.

There is nothing more satisfying than killing NPCs that you cannot normally kill over the internet

And nothing more satisfying than getting to kill people that we can't normally kill over the internet. Yes. Suck my dick, Poopy Stinks.