Takes

Turtles are annoying, talk down to others, and think they are in on something when they are not

There's something about it, a turtle that they do things in a way that is just really annoying to others. And I felt that annoyance within myself... They're also dumb and they think that they're in on something when they're really not.

Fifty percent of professional Dungeons and Dragons clients are Pardon My Take fans

I love running games for AWLs. I think at this point 50% of my clients are like AWLs. I mean it's so rad because what I do is now that I've run Forge of Fury, I've been running another adventure for them.

The Pardon My Take crew will attend Gen Con in Indianapolis in August 2025

[Timm Woods]: The Indianapolis one is Gen Con. It is the biggest Dungeons and Dragons convention in the world. And if you guys were there, I could take you on the whole tour. [Big Cat]: End of August. We're in. 100% we're gonna do that. That sounds amazing.

Luka Doncic is out of shape

Luca's smiling on the bench after the first time out. That's probably because he is sitting and it's, it's, it's nice to set like painful for him to, to stand. 'cause he is so outta shape. He did look kind of big and pale in that Lakers yellow, didn't he?

The Lakers are Austin Reaves' team, not Luka's or LeBron's

I'll tell you what, I think it might be Austin Reaves team. Mm.

Luka Doncic doesn't have the same drive as Shaquille O'Neal

But in defense of us, mark Luca is, he doesn't, he doesn't want it enough. Like a guy like Shaq. Right?

Jalen Hurts is better than Patrick Mahomes

I actually, like Max and Rowan were onto something with the Jalen Hertz thing. What he might be, he think he is just better than Mahomes. Their head-to-head matchups. And I like it. Hank Hertz has has dominated them. If you'd only watch the two Super Bowls that the, that Jalen Hertz and Patrick Mahomes played against each other. Jalen Hertz clears 'em by a million.

Patrick Mahomes will only return to one or two more Super Bowls in his career

It's NFL is hard. It's hard to stay healthy. It's hard to get back. You, we've talked to all these, but they quarterbacks and pros where it's like, you know, it's a constant error. I'm on the show. You never know. Probably one or two.

Drake Maye will win a Super Bowl before Patrick Mahomes wins another one

Who wins the Super Bowl first? Drake Maye. Okay.

Carson Wentz is the Eagles' secret good luck charm

Do you think Max, is there anything to be said that Carson Wentz is your good luck charm? Because the Eagles have two Super Bowls when Carson Wentz is on the sidelines. You're undefeated in Super Bowls when Carson Wentz is, is a backup somewhere.

Jalen Hurts is currently the best quarterback in the NFL

Realistically, where do you rank Jalen Hurtz as quarterbacks in the NFL Right now? Right now one.

NBA broadcasts will soon allow fans to toggle sports betting information on or off

I think we're not that far away where you're just gonna go click. And if you don't want any information about sports betting, you won't have to look at it. On the other hand, if you're someone in a state where it's illegal and you can get, get a bet on sports, you'll see a lot more information if that's what you want.

The 2024 season was my best individual year as a pro

I think I had a great year. I think I had my best year as a pro. I'm excited for, I think there's another level that I can hit.

It takes two years for a wrist ligament injury to return to full mobility

Whenever you have a ligament injury, your joint is gonna take around two years to get all the mobility back and everything that you feel like you need.

Most running quarterbacks excel in the preseason because defenses aren't game-planned

A lot of running quarterbacks excel in the preseason I would say. Because you're not game planning the opposing team. Your coaches aren't game planning their defense and you're just running out and running your training camp plays.

I would convert my salary to a signing bonus to help the Bengals keep players

Most of the guys just convert it to to signing bonus. I would do that.

I am officially going to learn how to dunk a basketball

I have a announcement for you guys. Ready for this? I think I'm gonna dunk. I think I'm gonna dunk. I've never dunked, but I think I'm gonna train in dunk.

Big Cat would have to lose a significant amount of weight to ever dunk

I hope you could too. You would have to lose a lot of weight. I know you're not going, you're don't. I would, don't put a time.

Patrick Mahomes is officially washed.

Big Cat, let me ask you embrace debate. Is Patrick Mahomes washed trash or ass? I think he's washed. He's washed. He's washed. Okay. He's washed. Yeah. Check down Merchant. Listen, it happens to every quarterback. He check downs. You know, like Father Time is undefeated.

No team will ever get back to the Super Bowl for a three-peat attempt again.

I don't know if we'll ever have a team get back to a third Super Bowl going for a three-peat... I'd like to bet extremely against it. Never ha ever happened. Same. I I'll put that bet in. [The bet is] 10 grand. It's never gonna happen.

The 2024-2025 Philadelphia Eagles are an elite, all-time historic football team.

The Philadelphia Eagles of the 2024, 2025 season are a historic football team. Games that they have been healthy in that've lost one game. The Falcons game is the only real loss that they had all year... This fucking team is one of the best teams of all time.

Jalen Hurts has surpassed Joe Burrow, Lamar Jackson, and Josh Allen in quarterback rankings.

Jalen Hurts has to be talked about in the same, in in, in the same way as the top couple quarterbacks in this league. He surpasses Joe Burrow, he surpasses Lamar Jackson, he surpasses Josh Allen. He surpasses all these guys who could never get it done.

AC/DC should be the next Super Bowl halftime show performer.

I'm gonna agree with our good friend Michael Greer. He has a great idea for the next halftime show. AC DC. AC DC at halftime would fucking rock... just banger after banger.

Travis Kelce will retire this offseason.

I think he's done. I think Taytay says, Hey, let's, let's go start a family... imagine how much better the podcast would be if you retired too. [Big Cat: That would suck though... if you retire this year and then Mahomes wins another title].

Jameis Winston would lead the Jets to a #1 seed and a Super Bowl if he started 17 games.

If we're gonna suck, I would rather just have fun watching football and just go with Jameis Winston for 17 games... He said on the Pardon My Take interview that he wants to be a bridge quarterback and he wants to win a Super Bowl. I'm sold. He's the guy. starts all 17 games, number one seed, Super Bowl.

The Dallas Mavericks made the 'worst trade ever' regarding the Luca/Kyrie era context.

It's still crazy that we're, they're somehow are making it worse. The worst trade ever. They're making it worse. [Context: discussing Patrick Dumont's comments on the Mavs' culture].

I would want to live to 102 if I owned an NFL team

Unless I own an NFL team, then I do [want to be 102]... Owning an FL team would be sick though. Like, you don't want to die if you're owning an NFL team.

The Lakers are winners of the NBA trade deadline for landing Mark Williams

Winner Lakers. Luca also Mark Williams... they did need a big, that feels like a pretty good trade for them... if he is not injured, he's exactly what they needed.

The Bulls are the big losers of the trade deadline because they are the dumbest organization

The bulls are a big loser because they didn't do anything that they should have done besides trade Zach LaVine... they're just the dumbest organization in AKs. Dumbest. And they extended Lonzo Ball... it's just none of the moves stack up together.

The Knicks should sign Chris Middleton in the buyout market

I want Chris Middleton on the Knicks. Oh. I think he's a perfect wing backup.

The Eagles will beat the Chiefs 26-21 in Super Bowl 59

26, 21 Eagles. [Mahomes] back doors it into the one score game... it's gonna be a dog fight.

The Chiefs might stomp the Eagles in the Super Bowl

I think the Chiefs might stomp them. Too much talent.

Secretariat was definitely doing steroids

That fucking horse was doing steroids... I was just trying to be funny about a horse taking steroids... Everybody in the world tweets donk at the same time.

Patrick Mahomes is the best of all time in close games

They have a quarterback that is like the best of all time with the game that close. So it's, it's hard to like pick against that. And that's why they keep winning, right?

Deandre Hopkins will score a touchdown in the Super Bowl

I think if that's the sort of game that the Eagles are gonna give them... Hopkins up here. I, that's my, I like it... Anytime touchdown.

The Chiefs will beat the Eagles 29-26 to win Super Bowl 59

29, 26. Right? Same spread. I like it. Yeah. You know, 29, 26 chiefs.

I am a better athlete than Hank at everything

I just have to come to the realization, I'm just a better athlete than [Hank] at everything... I'm mad at myself hand up accountability. I'm just better at than Hank at everything Hand up.

Winning is the only stat that truly matters for a quarterback

Winning is the biggest thing. Like when — when you at quarterback, I think that's so important. Like, yeah, you have some turnovers here. Yeah, you have some ups and downs, but eliminating negative plays and winning it takes you so far... Whatever is required for us to win a game is like my focus.

The Eagles will defeat the Chiefs 38-24 in Super Bowl 59

Super Bowl score update... 38-24. [Big Cat]: Wow, so it was 32-24 on Monday's show... [Max]: I'm ready to go. I'm ready for Sunday.

NIL would have completely neutralized the crab legs controversy

I just want to educate everyone about the new addition of NIL and the things that it allows our young athletes to do... before NIL if you did anything illegal, you would get suspended... but when NIL started, a lot of opportunities and doors that were already open... that crab leg thing would've never been like — oh my gosh. Like I would've had so many crab leg [deals].

I would watch an NFL player flag football tournament in the off-season

If they do it correctly, it would be like a perfect, like, I wanna say May — just do like a three day tournament with all the players. I would watch that for flag football. If it was the NFL players playing, I would watch that.

Myles Garrett is right to want out of Cleveland to win a Super Bowl

Myles Garrett has requested a trade. Cleveland Browns fans — sucks for them... but also Myles Garrett, he does probably have a few good years left and he wants to win a Super Bowl. He's 29. He's still really fucking good.

Myles Garrett will probably end up on the Eagles

Where do you think Miles Garrett's gonna end up? [Max]: I probably Eagle.

The Mavericks trading Luka Doncic is absolute malpractice

Nico Harrison — this guy should be in person... Malpractice. Malpractice. Yeah. The only guy literally deserves to be in prison. The only — it was, it's malpractice. The only way you could reasonably get over it is if like, Luca ends up being like 320 pounds.

The MLB must fire any umpire who shares a gambling account

The MLB had to fire a ref because he was umpire sharing — sorry, umpire. He was sharing a gambling account with another gambler who was gambling on baseball... even if the MLB was like, we don't even care about the whole betting part or the baseball thing, we can't have people employed by us who think it's okay to share a gambling account.

Kendrick Lamar vs Drake is the biggest blowout in subjective art history

That the Kendrick Drake thing turned into — obviously art is entirely in the eye of the beholder... but in this one thing where people can interpret it either any way they see fit, like this is as big of a blowout as you'll ever see. Ever.

The 'Underground Talent Railroad' transfer strategy is a genius college football idea

Let's create a network where we're all transparent with each other every fifth year. Each one of us can take its turn having the A team... PIT gets to have the 22 best players between the five programs... I don't hate it. I love it. I actually don't hate it at all. I love it.

The 2017 Eagles are still the best team until this current team wins on Sunday

I feel like we may be more talented than last year's Super Bowl. I don't know if this as talented as '17. That's still the best team until, you know, if we win this one, prove otherwise.

The Luka Doncic trade is the most shocking in NBA history

It's not hyperbole to say this is probably the most shocking trade in NBA history. Just because [Doncic] is 25 years old. He's one of the top five players in the NBA. He just took his team to the finals and he gets traded to the Lakers with no bidding whatsoever.

The Mystery Team in the Luka trade was likely invented just to make the Mavs GM feel better

There was a mystery team. I think it was added just to make [Nico Harrison] the Mavs GM feel a little better. But it seems like they did this deal... maybe you're in debt to the ownership of the Lakers. Maybe you need a favor from the Lakers at a later date.