Takes

Mike Tyson could be 90 years old and still knock someone out.

I'm pumped up. 'cause I think everybody that is, most people that are paying attention to this would just like to see another Mike Tyson knockout. Yes. Just bring us back to the glory days. Yes. And he could be 90 years old and I would still believe that he'd be able to knock somebody out.

Taylor Swift should give up half her money to men to help the Chiefs win championships.

Basically what we're saying is that Taylor Swift should give up half of her money to men. Is that too much to ask? No, I thought we were about equality. Equality matters 50%. And if she, if she was a true Chiefs fan, she would be like, 'Hey Travis, take the league minimum and let's go win another championship.' Rings... it sounds like she's only about her personal engagement ring, not a Super Bowl ring.

The Broncos released bad jerseys to distract fans from the Zach Wilson trade

They actually are really smart with what they did because they released Bad Jerseys and then they traded for Zach Wilson all on the same day. And you don't know which one to be mad at. They just split the vote. Like that was so smart of them to do those in basically a matter of hours with each other where they're like, which one you want to choose?

Kevin Durant will 100% return to the Oklahoma City Thunder

Kevin Durant is 100% going back to the Thunder. Yes. They're doing some trial balloons... it was a video narrated by KD talking about Chet Holmgren and the city of Oklahoma City... I'm absolutely for it because I think that would be a very cool, like if he won, wins a title with the Thunder. Kind of everything's forgiven.

Caitlin Clark is going to increase WNBA revenue enough to improve rookie salaries

The w NBA draft, the, the, all the rookie wages getting tweeted out and everyone's like, what the fuck? It's like, well, this is what Caitlin Clark might be able to fix. She might be able to prove things a little bit. Like if people watch and then it starts making more money, then they get to pay more.

I will no longer praise the food at Guaranteed Rate Field because Jerry Reinsdorf is a bad owner

I'm no longer gonna say that [the food is good] because that's what Jerry Reinsdorf wants you to say... It doesn't matter what happens on the field. We got great food, we got great beer... I can no longer say that I'm gonna stand with White Sox fans. I will no longer plug the fact that going to a game there is actually fun.

Team USA will win every Olympic basketball game by 50 points

USA announced its Olympic roster for 2024 in Paris. And it is stacked. Yeah. They're looking to win every game by 50.

The solar eclipse was overrated

So my Hot Seat is us. We're still in the third dimension. I was kind of looking forward to it. So that was, it was gonna be cool throne, but I kind of was hoping we were in the hot fourth dimension. So, well, eclipse sucked, overrated eclipse.

The Masters app is the greatest piece of technology ever invented

My cool Throne is the Masters app... I redownload the Master's app. Have to, it's a tradition unlike any other. And when you log into the, the first time, it just feels, it's such a great way to come down from the NCAA tournament being over... the greatest piece of technology ever invented. Yep. And you open it up and you're like, everything's going to be okay. 'Cause the Masters app's here and it's comforting and it's perfect.

Fanatics MLB jerseys are complete pieces of shit

It's starting to bother me now that I'm watching a little more baseball. Just like not being able to read the pitcher's jersey. And it seems like every single night there's a new example of the jerseys just being pieces of shit.

Russell Westbrook looks foolish for arguing with a fan in a balloon hat

Never get in a fight with someone who has nothing to lose. Yeah. That guy has zero to lose in life. He's a diehard Hornets fan in a balloon hat... Russell Westbrook looks like a much bigger fool than the balloon hat guy.

I am officially over no-hitters

I'm so over no hitters. Remember when no hitters used to be like you, they'd even go to bonus coverage... I became over no hitters at right at opening Day 2023.

The NBA investigation into Jontay Porter for prop betting irregularities is a bad look

My Hot Seat is Jontay Porter. Raptors center is under an NBA investigation into irregularities on his prop betting involving him. There was a couple times where he basically started a game, took himself out because of a eye injury. And on those games there was a bunch of action on his prop bets. Unders... This is bad.

Caleb Williams having a pink phone and pink nails is cool and mascuine

Speaking of Caleb Williams, he's got a cool pink phone... He was at the USC game last night. He has a pink phone. Got people really upset. I say maybe think differently. He's so advanced. He knows that pink phones are cool... I've always said pink phones are the most masculine thing you can do.

Boeing whistleblower John Barnett did not commit suicide

There was a whistleblower... John Barnett... His body was found the morning of three nine dead. He was allegedly from suicide even though he told his family, if I die, it's not suicide. He was suicided.

Aaron Rodgers might run for Vice President with RFK Jr.

Aaron Rodgers might run for Vice President... He's being considered and is considering the opportunity right now. Mr. Kennedy confirmed on Tuesday that the two men [Rodgers and Jesse Ventura] were at the top of his list.

I am not scared of Chicago winters after my first year living there

I just, I don't know. It, it's been incredible. There's been four bad days and two of them had playoff football on. I lived in Massachusetts, New Hampshire. Those are way worse. I'm not scared of the winter here. That's my point.

Anthony Edwards missing the tip-off is a sign the Timberwolves aren't ready to win a title

Anthony Edwards lost track of time and he missed the tipoff of the Timberwolves game... This is the kind of thing that you point to when it's like, yeah, the Timberwolves are good, but your star player lost track of time.

The 2024 Masters will have an asterisk because Taylor Gooch wasn't invited

Brooks' teammate on Smash Taylor Gooch was interviewed... and he said he's going to be an asterisk. It's just a reality. Taylor Gooch will always remember as the masters that didn't have Taylor Gooch.

Grown men getting ice cream by themselves is actually great

Do you know grown men who go get ice cream by themselves? I don't. It's very strange. [Big Cat responding to Clay Travis quote] Literally all the time I get ice cream. I'm gonna do that as a protest tonight. I'm gonna get ice cream by myself... Ice cream by yourself is actually great.

UMass moving to the MAC is great for 'MACtion' and weeknight football

My cool Throne is Mion, we're getting more Mion because UMass is getting added, which means more games back... more weeknight football eventually.

The day you stop liking tits is the day you die

Sydney Sweeney's boobs... Which I was getting shamed for like, come on guys. The day you stop liking tits, kill me. I think and I die. I'm a red-blooded American male.

Notre Dame will never get higher than a 5-seed in the 12-team CFP

If Notre Dame is the best team in the country, they get the number five seed. [Because] the four highest ranked conference champions will be seeds one through four.

Justin Fields is probably going to get traded by the Bears

Justin Fields did unfollow the Bears. I don't think it's, I think he's probably gonna get traded. So that's what's, like I said, I mean it could mean literally anything.

The Taco Bell Cheez-It Crunchwrap will be elite

Let me just say that The Cheez-It Crunchwrap looks elite. Yes. It looks, I without tasting it, I can tell you that's probably on my Mount Rushmore of Taco Bell Foods.

MetLife Stadium is cursed

My Hot Seat is MetLife Stadium. It was recently announced that the very cursed stadium in the NFL world will be hosting the 2026 World Cup final... however, I believe they're switching it to grass. Correct? They are. But it's still cursed.

Drake leaked his own explicit video as a flex

Drake international superstar. He was jacking off and the video came out. I actually think my conspiracy theory brain tells me that Drake leaked this himself because it's a good angle... he's got a big dick and he's got a big dick. Yeah. So if anything it like my respect for Drake increased today.

Mike Vrabel is too physically intimidating to get a head coaching job

She [Diana Russini] said that she had a GM at the Senior Bowl who mentioned to me Vrabel's physical build, that he's a very large human being and can be very intimidating to people in an organization... If you're a football owner, large human beings, you don't wanna be around them. You want a nerd. You want a tiny little nerd.

Andy Reid will never retire because he has no hobbies except football and cheeseburgers

Andy Reid, who is not gonna retire. This is all he does. I'm trying to get Andy to play golf. I'm trying to get him to go hunting. He just won't do it. Andy Reid also has a bucket list... it's just eating in different countries. My prediction, they win the Super Bowl, he probably goes to France. Eats his way through France.

I am intensely attracted to Tiffany Gomas

I have such an intense attraction to Tiffany Gomas. It is, it's actually, I am, I'm obsessed with her... I follow her on Instagram. I even like leave comments like 'looking good girl'... I think the thing I'm most attracted to is that there's a real, a mental issue there... I'm really attracted to her.

Caleb Williams is 'popping' because he already has dedicated haters before the draft

If you ain't got no haters, you ain't popping... So Caleb Williams is popping... The anonymous scouts are going off about Caleb Williams... saying things like, you remember he paints his nails? ... These are all big red flags. Nah... if there's Caleb Williams, I would be more concerned about the guy who doesn't get any negative press.

Panthers HC Dave Canales made a mistake writing a book about his infidelity and porn addiction

This is kind of a lesson in like, maybe don't ever get that big job. 'cause then people will start looking at your life. Dave Canales co-wrote a book with his wife about marriage... Canales admits to having had multiple affairs earlier in his life... also described in the book the addictions he once had to both pornography and alcohol. It sounds like his wife made him write a book. If you're co-authoring a book with your wife talking about your porn addiction, it's like a self-flagellation.

Tristan Thompson took cheap steroids intended for physical appearance rather than performance

Tristan Thompson... Got busted for steroids... I went immediately to my number one source of steroids in the world that I know named Billy Football. And he said the craziest thing is that he was taking Broke Boys steroids. Oh. Stuff Frat Boys and Talkers used to bulk up... He was doing it for the look, not for the functionality.

You must always defer the coin toss if you win it

Why would you not defer, why would you not get the ball back to, to start the second half? I just assumed that was like a, a cardinal fundamental rule. And then when you look at the stats... I think you should just defer every time.

Steph Curry belongs in the NBA GOAT conversation

I put Steph Curry up there. He's in the Go-cart. I'm putting Steph Curry in the GOAT conversation right now.

Lifting weights is significantly more effective for getting in shape than cardio

It's crazy how don don't know when we learned this as like kids what point we're like, oh yeah, to get in shape you gotta run. That's so wrong. Like cardio. Okay, fine... Dude. Lifting weights is the best way to get in shape. 'cause you just feel stronger and you start, your metabolism goes, it feels good.

Romantically, things are not going to happen with Tiffany Gomas

I would like to, you know, set the record straight that we're not [dating]. ... we just kind of said, let's, let's just, you know, call a spade a spade and go our separate ways. ... I just think romantically it's not, it's not not gonna happen.

Liberty Football's 2.96 GPA is actually good for a team GPA

Liberty Football. They tweeted ... 2.96 cumulative GPA. ... It's actually not terrible for a team. It's really good. ... football team. It's the old, 'I didn't play school'.

I'm out on Boeing airplanes until the safety issues are addressed

Boeing airplanes... had an explosive decompressor at 16,000 feet... So if it's, I don't know what kind of flights we have planned soon. But if it's Boeing, I ain't going. I'm out. I'm out on Boeing anytime soon.

NBA officiating in the Celtics-Pacers game was 'very questionable' after reversing a clear foul

Last night against the Pacers... Jalen Brown had a game tying shot attempt that they call the foul. They reviewed the tape, he clearly got hit in the head. They reversed it, gave the pacers the ball back... very questionable. Very, very questionable.

Oregon is going to destroy Liberty in the Fiesta Bowl

17 points is not win nearly enough points. They're so strong and he's so strong... They're way bigger than Liberty. So I'm, this might just be because I saw a bunch of football players up close and I'm like, oh, these guys are way bigger than they look on tv.

No long-haired quarterback has ever won a Super Bowl

No long-haired quarterback has ever won a Super Bowl. People forget that.

Dylan Raiola is already a bust after his commitment poem

What is this? So fellow fans await with hope in the air for Dylan to choose his purpose to declare in a weekend's decision, destiny calls to fulfill his purpose. Where a new dynasty enthralls... He's already a bust in my eyes. I'm happy for Nebraska fans, but you can't be feeling good about that poem.

The NBA In-Season Tournament should have one traveling banner instead of permanent ones

There should just be one banner. And the team that wins it should get to have it in their arena for the remainder of that year into next year where they have to give it up and another team then gets to possess that banner because you can't have every NBA team eventually having an in season tournament banners.

Syracuse football is having the best off-season in all of college football

My Cool Throne is my alma mater. Syracuse football. They are having arguably the best off-season in all of college football. Almost... in my book.

GTA VI is the point where video games became indistinguishable from reality

GTA six finally released their trailer yesterday. And yeah, it, that's we've, we've done it. We've gotten to the point where I can't tell if it's a video game or real life. Unfortunately. That clip of the, of the girls shaking her booty on the, on the car. I was like, is that real? I don't, it finally happened where my brain can't process video games. In reality.

The NCAA's new compensation rules will create a major/minor league divide in college sports

The NCAA is putting forth a new... regulation... so that certain colleges, any college as a matter of fact can contribute up to $30,000 a year... once this gets into place, it's gonna be like the major leagues, right. Of college sports. Yes. And then everybody else is the minor leagues if this actually ends up happening.

Nikola Jokic is the best player in the world

Yoic. Did you know that He leads the NBA in points, rebounds, and assists right now. Jesus. It's fucking insane what Yoic is doing. He's so good. I think, I feel like we're in the trap of not appreciating how great Yoic is. Yeah. He's the best player in the world.

The Blue Jays should be eliminated from the Shohei Ohtani sweepstakes for leaking their meeting

It came out that Shhe... visiting with the Blue Jays. And I think by Sho Hays rules, the blue Jay should be eliminated. See you buddy. See you. Blue Jays. What?

The NBA In-Season Tournament is a success

My Cool Throne is the NBA in season tournament because it kind of rocks... It was an awesome crowd. The crowd was awesome... I was critical at first. It didn't make sense in the beginning, but now that it's more organized... I'm a fan.