Takes

LeBron James' absence was extremely odd and under-reported

He left the Lakers a few days ago... there was, you know, internet rumors circulating that he was maybe getting arrested. That he was disappearing... it was weird the way it was, you know, he left and with LeBron and the media, they, you know, will talk about him nonstop and it kind of got swept under the rug.

Analytics and the three-point shot have made the NBA tough to watch

It's analytics. I blame analytics... That too. Three point shot. That too. Dunk should be three... Imagine if they made dunks threes. Everyone was just trying to fucking yam on each other constantly. That would be sick.

You cannot pay Brock Purdy 60 million dollars per year

There's been talk about [Brock Purdy] getting an extension. I know a lot of guys are hurt, but how much can you pay Brock Purdy knowing that he's a good quarterback? He's not in the level of, make everyone better quarterback. 60 a year... That's insane. You can't pay Brock Purdy 60 a year.

Brock Purdy looked stupid and shitty against the Rams

I think he had a very bad game tonight. Like he looks, he looked stupid and shitty tonight. That's my analysis. That last throw was so bad. It was stupid and shitty in one throw. It was dumb to throw it and it was a bad pass.

The San Francisco 49ers are officially dead for the 2024 season

The Niners are dead. It's over reset everything. It's over... less than 1% chance [to make the playoffs].

The government used illegal tracking technology to find Luigi Mangione and then planted evidence to cover it up

The government has technology that's illegal to use to track and find someone like Luigi [Mangione]... which they used illegally to find him. And then planted all the evidence. The McDonald's worker, the written manifesto to cover their tracks about the fact that they illegally... surveyed people. The McDonald's worker was a plant and that's why they're not gonna get paid.

The New Jersey drones are good aliens protecting humans from bad aliens

It's probably alien. I've heard it's aliens protecting from other aliens is what I've heard... Apparently they've been here the whole time, but just in the water. And then when the bad aliens, I guess, are threatening now. So they came out to protect us.

The New York Jets will dominate the Jacksonville Jaguars

I think this is gonna be a shit kicking by the Jets... This is actually my game of the year. I think they're gonna take all the frustrations out of this dog shit season onto the Jaguars Sunday.

Bill Belichick will be successful at UNC because he can simplify the path to the NFL for recruits

I think he's gonna be successful at UNC. I really do... there is a compelling case for Bill Belichick shows up to your living room and says, Hey, I can get you in the NFL... I'm just gonna get you in the NFL.

UNC will make the College Football Playoff in Bill Belichick's first year

[Bill Belichick will be successful] first year... College football playoff. We should win the ACC.

The Lions defense struggles against running quarterbacks

This is the week that the lions all their defensive injuries... This is an elite elite offense. And Aaron Glenn, I know this from experience because Justin Fields used to play well against Lions. Aaron Glenn's defenses don't do well against running quarterbacks. He refuses to do a spy.

Bills vs. Lions is a potential Super Bowl preview

Possible Super Bowl preview. This would be my dream Super Bowl matchup in terms of fans... in New Orleans. Holy shit. Would it rock just like partying with Lions and Bills fans all week.

I will not be able to shoot 20 three-pointers in a row

I misinterpreted what the initial discussion was. I'm not gonna be able to shoot 20 threes in a row. That's it... 20 for 20, which is impossible. I think 20 for 25 is possible. Obviously that's not what we discussed.

The Meta Quest 3 is significantly better than the Apple Vision Pro

I got the Apple Vision Pro like seven months ago. What a waste of fucking money that was. That was probably the the biggest waste of money I've ever had in my entire life... picked up the Meta Quest 3. That thing rocks... this kicks the shit out of the Apple Vision Pro.

I have a broken pinky finger that I'm just going to leave untreated

I do think I have a broken pinky. I've had it for two weeks. I don't know what to do about it. I don't think you can do anything for a broken pinky... I think I'm just like a hurt hand guy for the rest of my life.

Mike McCarthy needs to stop watching replays of his team's mistakes on the Jumbotron during games

I have a suggestion from Mike McCarthy... Something bad happens, you know, something bad has just happened in the game. As head coach, he forces himself to watch the replay of that bad thing over and over and just sit in that pain. Yeah, Mike, you gotta stop doing that. You gotta stop subjecting yourself to just trauma repeatedly over and over again.

The Simpsons characters are significantly better in 2D than 3D

I did watch the first half of The Simpsons broadcast last night, and I don't know why it took me so long to remember this. The Simpsons are a million times better in 2D. The Simpsons in 3D. Not that fun.

The 'In the Hunt' graphics for the NFC are currently patronizing to bad teams

Everyone from the Saints on down, Saints, Cowboys, Bears, Panthers. Just just be like, Hey, I know technically not [eliminated], but dude, get a fucking grip. You're brain dead if you're actually thinking this.

The extreme delusional negativity of Philly fans is a sign the Eagles are ready for a Super Bowl run

I saw this video and I was like, this could not sum up the Philadelphia Eagles fan base more and I wouldn't have it any other way... I actually think that this might be a sign that the Eagles are ready to go on a Super Bowl run because they're what, 11 and two and they've won nine games in a row. Everything's going well. They now have players talking about players. Old players talking about old players.

AJ Brown will definitely score a touchdown this week to disprove the drama rumors

AJ Brown has to be in the touchdown score this week... You know that they're gonna find a way to feed him the ball.

College football should get rid of conference championships and just start the 16-team playoff that weekend

Get rid of the conference championships. If you're gonna do it this way, get rid of the conference championships and just have the playoffs start that weekend. Yeah. Like, have it be the first weekend of December, have it be 16 teams or whatever it is.

The top four teams in the CFP should always get a bye, regardless of whether they won their conference

Top four teams should get a bye. Because as it stands right now, and I Boise's good, I think Boise could beat anyone... But it just, it's, when I look at the bracket, the thing that keeps sticking out is like Oregon had by far and away the best season in college football... And their matchup potentially is gonna be Ohio State or Tennessee in the first round. Which that doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Bill Belichick will be successful at UNC by marketing it as an 'NFL factory'

I think that if you are matter of fact, he's gonna be the closer. If you're a matter of fact to these both transfer kids and like, I think he'll crush it in the transfer portal because if he just says, Hey, I'm not gonna try to sell you on, like, this idea that we're gonna, we're competing for national titles right away, or we're do, I'm gonna get you ready to play football at the National Football League level and there's no one better that knows that than me.

Nepotism in football coaching is more acceptable than in playing because you work up through ranks

Coaching is a lot different than playing... Football is like the most, basketball is different. There's not a lot of examples of nepotism drafts. There's a million examples of nepotism coaching... He [Steve Belichick] worked his way up the ranks as any head coach that's ever head coached in the history of coaching has.

Arizona State will win the College Football Playoff because they are the hottest team

You know what I'm taking Arizona State. Fuck it... I want, I don't think it works for college football, but it, if it was hockey or college basketball, they're the hottest team. Make a run.

The Yankees lost Juan Soto because they were disrespectful regarding family suites

The Yankees lost out on a generational talent just because they were disrespectful... The Yankees wouldn't budge on giving Juan Soto a suite in Yankee Stadium saying that if they don't do it for Derek Jeter, they're not gonna do it for him.

The speed of Google's new quantum chip suggests we are likely living in a computer simulation

Google says that one of the world's current fastest supercomputers would take 10 septillion years to complete that same challenge that Google's chip did in less than five minutes... it actually lends credence to the, the theory that we are living in one of an infinite number of computer simulations right now.

Karl-Anthony Towns might actually be 'built like that' for the pressure of New York

Also Karl-Anthony Towns. He might be the perfect fit for New York. He had a big shot. He was repping it. Yeah. And the Knicks had been hot. Like Karl-Anthony Towns might be built like that.

Aaron Rodgers should be dominating the league more because he learned in a more sophisticated era

The job that [Aaron Rodgers] had 15 years ago is so much harder than it is today. Today's game, as Tom Brady describes, the flats are open, the, the middle of the field's unpatrolled and no one can hit me... anyone that's hung around long enough to know in a sophisticated time should be dominating.

Sliding is dangerous for quarterbacks and should be removed from the game

Sliding the game, look, the game changed when they change the rules... it puts your head on a pedestal right at the level of people's knees. And, and, and, and, like you basically are saying and, and, and by sliding you're opening yourself up. Right? It's like, oh, hit me in the face... I think sliding to make it safe for quarterbacks is impossible. So get rid of it.

Jerry Rice's records are untouchable because he was driven by a constant fear of losing his job

Jerry Rice was driven by the same thing until he, the day he retired, he thought someone was gonna take his job. And so he, he lived in a state of... anxiety that, that I need to go to work... Jerry Rice, even today when the game is wide open, Jerry Rice is, all his records should be under duress. Right. They should be being lapped in today's game. And you can't get close to him.

The Vikings would be insane to let Sam Darnold leave even with JJ McCarthy returning

You're insane to not sign a guy that's doing that for you... If I was Sam, I am not going back to one of those places that doesn't take care of and doesn't understand the quarterback position. I refuse. So I will go compete to go to one of those places that does. Yeah.

Apathy and losing in the NFL is almost always an ownership accountability problem

I blame ownership. And unfortunately in this league you can't because it, equity ownership's not gonna change... you can't overcome apathy... how do we help ownership be accountable? Yeah. Because it would make the team, if they could feel that accountability and answer to it, it would help the team.

Cam Skattebo's chaotic throwaway against BYU was actually a high-IQ play

He's so intelligent. He said, whoa, I'm outta the pocket. I can throw the ball away. So he made a decision in a split second. Instead of losing 20 yards, I wanna throw the ball away. And I knew like as it was going, I'm like, this dude's gonna throw the ball away... he's such, so, such an aware player.

Coaches shouldn't be hypocritical by getting angry at players for using the transfer portal

Why would I be mad at a kid for wanting to be, do what's best for him? Coaches do it all the time. I've moved around, assistant coaches move around. What a double standard that would be for me if I don't support the players and their career aspirations. Like I support coaches and like I did in my career.

I can still make a 35-yard field goal consistently

I did try out for the XFL when three for five from 37 yards... I can still make a 35 yard field goal consistently. I think I haven't kicked in like a year. But you, you give me like three months to get into shape and to start working on it. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be lights out from 40 in.

I'm ready to start putting more respect on the Steelers and Vikings' names

The Steelers and Vikings. I'm ready to start putting a lot more respect on their name... Vikings 42 Falcons 21. This was the Sam Darnold Show... Why aren't we talking about the Vikings like the Eagles and the Lions?

The Vikings should consider resigning Sam Darnold this offseason

Are we at the point where the Vikings should consider resigning Sam Darnold? Yes... You probably should. 'Cause JJ [McCarthy]'s probably good, but you don't know. But we know that Sam's good. Sam Darnold's also only 27 years old.

It might be Michael Penix time for the Atlanta Falcons

The Falcons are, it just feels like it's all falling apart at the end here. And Michael Penix, it might be Penix time, it might be Penix time. So you drafted him. Why wouldn't you get him a little like... if your season's over, you might as well get Michael Penix in.

Bryce Young is the quarterback of the future for the Carolina Panthers

I do think [Bryce Young] is the quarterback of the future now for the Panthers, which is awesome because it looked like one in seven. It looked like everything was lost. Now you not only have a quarterback, but you have a coach and Dave Canales who's, you know, coaching him up.

I would rather have a team that finishes fast than starts fast

If I had a choice between starting fast and finishing fast, I, I would choose finishing fast... I love finish fast... [The Eagles] getting out so good at finishing fast. It's actually one of my strengths.

Saquon Barkley is going to reach 2,000 rushing yards this season

Saquon Barkley, he's now 94 yards a game. So four games left, 94 yards, a game away from 2,000. He also has the Eagles record in rushing yards in a season passing LeSean McCoy.

Scott Turner should win Coordinator of the Year for getting the Raiders to score with their roster

The Raiders are on their fourth, third and fourth running backs. Yeah. And trying to make the whole thing out of, and their third, now they're third quarterback. So Scott Turner, just even getting them to score a point... He should probably be coordinator of the year.

If the Jets draft a quarterback, they should keep Aaron Rodgers to provide a competitive spark

If we draft a quarterback, I, I say yes [to keeping Rodgers]. A lot of Jets fans don't want him, but he'll be good if you draft a quarterback. He needs a little bit of that spark, a little bit of that fire.

The Titans will set a record for losing to five different teams that fire their head coach in one season

The Titans will have lost to four teams that fired their coach this season. They lost to Matt Eberflus, they lost to Robert Saleh and they lost to Doug Pederson. And if by chance the Bengals fire Zac Taylor, they could potentially go 0 and 5 against teams that fire their head coach. That's pretty impressive.

The 49ers aren't actually good; the Bears are just that bad

I don't think the 49ers are good. I just think the Bears are that bad... [Niners 38, Bears 13] That game sucked. The Bears are a joke. They're so bad... just same garbage team, same garbage start.

I'm officially believing in the Seattle Seahawks after four wins in a row

I think I'm believing in the Seahawks. I mean, they're now on the top of the NFC West and the way they've been playing... Their defense looks completely different. They have weapons everywhere.

The 2024 NFL season is the most wide-open the league has ever been

Is this the most wide open the NFL's ever been? I can't... I'm thinking back to 2017 obviously. It was pretty wide open in 2017 too. [But this year] anything could happen.

The Chiefs aren't a good team, but they will find a way to win the Super Bowl

I think they're gonna get to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, I still... they have black magic. They have curses, they have witches. Like they're not a good team... but they just win... They're gonna find a way to win somehow.

I feel no remorse for Alabama missing the College Football Playoff

Alabama got left out. I feel no remorse for Alabama... you lost all three of your games in the conference. Their three losses were Vanderbilt, Oklahoma, and Tennessee... you just have to win the games that you should win.