Takes

Jaylen Brown has an aura rating of +1000

Jalen Brown actually has overflow of aura. He's got, he's got aura. He actually has overflow of aura—plus a thousand aura.

Jayson Tatum's aura rating is currently -650

If you were to do like statistics on Jayson Tatum's Aura? I'd say he is like negative six 50.

Clutch performance is a real and verifiable factor in sports

Clutch 100% exists. Like there's no way to explain how some people are just better and like rise to the occasion and other people don't.

The Yankees should extend Aaron Boone to show the clubhouse they believe in him

I think that you have to give Aaron Boone an extension and show that you believe in him. And then the rest of the clubhouse is gonna truly believe in him too. Then you'll be fine.

Sports leagues are pricing out fans by fragmenting media rights across too many streaming platforms

This is what the leagues are doing. They're just chopping it up and they're cutting it and they're selling a bunch of NBA to us that we have to buy individually. I feel like that's the real inflation in the United States right now. It's becoming expensive to be a sports fan. They're pricing a lot of people out of watching sports. And that shouldn't be right.

You would choose pizza over donuts for the rest of your life because you can't eat donuts every day

If it's pizza or donuts for the rest of your life, you'd have to take pizza. Like, I'm just being honest, like I love donuts, but you can't eat donuts every day. You could eat pizza almost every day.

Pie is vastly superior to cake as a dessert

I'm more of a pie guy than I'm a cake guy. I think pie clears cake all day. Birthday cake. Pretty decent pie. Vastly superior.

Ice cream is vastly superior to cake for birthday celebrations

Ice cream is better than cake. Why don't they just do ice cream at every birthday? No, they do cake way more than ice cream at a birthday. [Ice cream] is better.

The tennis ball is the most versatile ball for individual use

Tennis balls I think are more versatile than a baseball or a golf ball. If you had the option to be left alone with a tennis ball, a golf ball or baseball... it's tennis ball all day. You throw it against the wall, bounce it off the ground, throw it up to yourself.

A bowl is a perfect delivery vessel because you never have a bad meal served in one

There's nothing really that you have a bad bowl of. You know what I mean? When you're getting, when you're getting a bowl out, you're getting just good. It's like soup, ice cream. Cereal. A bowl delivers great things.

Catching is a miserable position, especially for players over 6'4"

Catching fucking sucked. I'm six five... I did not even like catching. You're always getting second guessed by the pitching coach and if somebody hits a home run, it's your fault. Stand out in the outfield and picking daisies that sort of thing is more my style. Save your knees and your back. I caught over a hundred games four years in a row in the minor leagues. It's terrible.

August is the 'Month of Hate' in Major League Baseball

August is always the month of hate in the MLB. So no matter, you know, if your team's good or bad, you get, everybody wants to fucking kill each other. And it's literally, it's the month of hate just from being around each other for so much.

The Mets are a fundamentally confusing and failing franchise

The Mets do things sometimes that I think would probably fall under [hating each other], you know, but they're the fucking Mets. So that's just what happens. I just don't, I don't get their franchise at all. I played the East for too long and played against them. They just suck.

Clubhouse chemistry matters more than individual talent for winning championships

I think the Yankees have proved you can have all the best players, but If, you don't have the chemistry. It doesn't matter. You know, you gotta, you gotta gimme a, gimme a, a group of guys that might not be the best players, but they get along and they're all moving in the right direction and we'll go win.

Quality nutrition is the foundation of athlete performance

I think [food] is everything. Would you stop at McDonald's and feed your racehorse a Big Mac on the way to the track and expect him to win? Or would you wanna feed him the best food in the world and make sure he has everything he needs from a mind, body, spirit type of approach? We changed the medical, we changed the food and the clubhouse [in Washington] and did a lot of good stuff.

MLB is losing fans because hitters no longer prioritize batting average

The game's changed... now it's like everyone's throwing a hundred and wearing oven mitts. No one hits for average. I don't know, it's the game cycles through these things... but it is weird that batting averages have plummeted. I feel like we're losing fans [because of it].

Xander Schauffele's black Adidas shoes look like server shoes and make him look slow

The all black shoes are tough because you kind of look like a server. Like you look like you're gonna ha pass me some like bacon wrap scallops. I'm telling you, you look slow. White shoes look faster.

The Olympics place a unique emphasis on finishing top-three that is not found in other golf tournaments

In the Olympics everyone's fighting to finish in the top three more so than any tournament. You know, you podium versus if you don't do well and you come in second or third. I think the emphasis on second and third is a lot more than a normal tournament.

Xander Schauffele will never lose another major championship in his career

Xander Schauffele has lost his last major ever. I'm gonna see if I can parlay all four. You've already lost your last major. That's crazy.

Taking a long time to poop is a masculine dad move

I actually kind of feel like this is like my first, like I'm feel like a masculine dad because I feel like that's a very big dad move for the all the kids in the house to be like, yeah. Dad goes and takes long shits. Being like, I'm going to the shit or I'll be back in three hours.

Jordan Love's training camp hold-in is one of the most selfish things a player has ever done

Jordan Love is the first player to do this. And it's disgusting. This is one of the most selfish things I've ever seen a player do... he's not going to practice with his team until he gets his new contract.

Aaron Rodgers is currently less of a diva than Jordan Love

Is Aaron Rodgers less of a diva than Jordan Love? Aaron Rodgers at Training Camp, Jordan Love is not a training camp.

Jordan Love will become the highest paid player per year in the NFL

The market is speaking right now and it's saying that Jordan Love, if they—do I think they will make him the highest paid like per year. I don't know what the, which is crazy 'cause he's—a grand total. He's gonna do, he's 32 years old. So, so, so making Jordan Love the highest paid quarterback after like, such a small sample. That's the free market in the NFL. Yeah. It, it's one of those situations where you have to pay him.

Joe Burrow will not play an NFL game with his new bleached hair

I predict he will not play an NFL game with bleached hair... I think this is, this is just team building. This is just a guy being a dude, letting them make fun of him during training camp. And then I think once the regular season starts, then it's business hair.

The Jaguars are the most likely NFL team to have a training camp fight over the new NCAA football game

I'm gonna say the Jaguars. I don't know why I was thinking that too. Yeah, Jaguars. Jaguars are gonna fight over [NCAA Football 25].

Jason Kelce will return to play for the Eagles this season if there is an injury at center

If he wants to come back, I would love to have him... [PFT:] If you have an injury, God forbid, at the center position... you think Jason Kelce's not gonna come back if he has an office in the building? [Max:] I want the rest of the NFL to think that [he won't].

Donald Trump is a very impressive golfer for his age

Stick to sports. But he is a very good golfer. He did the video with Bryson [DeChambeau] and he, he was impressive... with like if you or I or PFT was playing with Bryson. It's doubtful that we would be have his [score].

Kevin Durant is currently unhappy and looking to be traded to France

Maybe he's unhappy. Isn't that what we heard about Kevin Durant? Yeah. He could be. He's unhappy and he is looking to be traded to France.

If Tarik Skubal gets traded to the Dodgers, my Cy Young bet is in trouble

Tarik Skubal, who is the presumptive Cy Young favorite... is possibly gonna get traded... I bet it right then and there. So I have plus 400. I think he's like minus 125 now. But he might get traded to the Dodgers. If he gets traded to the Dodgers, I'm fucked. You don't want him in the National League. They only base their voting on what you did in your new league.

The WNBA's momentum will be killed by its four-week Olympic break

My Hot Seat, coincidentally... The WNBA. They won't be playing basketball for four weeks. So imagine if, like the 1988 dunk contest. It was incredible. And then the NBA just didn't happen for four weeks. All the momentum they've gained, just nothing's gonna happen.

Waffles are superior to pancakes in every way

I'm going to go waffles. Love waffles. Superior to pancakes in every way. Waffles versatile. You can go sweet... or you can go savory. The nooks and crannies make it.

Breakfast burritos are better than breakfast tacos outside of Austin

In Austin, you are correct [that tacos are better]. But the rest of the country breakfast burrito is always better than a breakfast taco. Where have you had a good breakfast taco outside of Austin? Breakfast tacos are good, but they're like a, they're a treat for like certain parts of the country.

The Taco Bell Breakfast Crunchwrap is the best fast food item in the entire world

This is my, maybe my favorite item that you can purchase at a fast food restaurant in the entire world. The Taco Bell Breakfast Crunchwrap. It is so fucking good. I want, I'm gonna order one tomorrow.

Cold pizza is an elite breakfast food

I think it's an elite breakfast: cold slice of pizza. So good. It's zero calorie. Tastes great. Just put a little hot sauce on it. Yeah, it's great. I love, I love having pizza for breakfast.

The Titans will make the playoffs in 2024

I did Titans make the playoffs and I'm excited. I, I love Will Levis, the quarterback. We got De Hop, DeAndre Hopkins. We got... the Sneed dude from Kansas City that we've got. And so I think, I mean... Houston's going to be, it'll be a tough division, but I think, I think we can do it. I think we can get the playoffs.

Xander Schauffele had a better year than Scottie Scheffler

Xander is now—I like, you can't say that Xander hasn't had a better [year]. I know Scotty has all these wins on the tour. Two majors to one. That's it. Xander had the better year.

Joe Biden's exit from the 2024 race is the political version of a coach being fired after making the tournament

The whole Biden thing. Is he—he now is just that coach who got fired at Long Beach State and then made the tournament. That's what's happening. He's going to ride it out. He's going to coach the bowl game.

Joe Biden's political situation is identical to a backup quarterback entering a game

It is kind of like the backup quarterback situation. Kamala, are you really ready to see Trevor Siemian start? Let's go until he steps up and then throws three picks in the first half and you're like, 'fuck, I kind of miss Zach Wilson.'

Gelato is the superior form of frozen treat

I'm gonna go gelato one, then I'm gonna go soft serve two, then ice cream, then frozen yogurt. Every day, every single day, if I'm out of the office, if I'm in a different city, you bet your sweet ass I'm getting gelato there.

Frozen yogurt is the Brock Purdy of ice creams

I would say frozen yogurt is the Brock Purdy of ice creams. You can win with it. Where ideally would you take it number one? Probably not. But you get all the great toppings on it and it becomes great.

Major League Baseball is actively suppressing local investment to force the A's to Las Vegas

Major League Baseball has allegedly been telling [Oakland investors] that they're not allowed to talk about their interest because they want the A's to move to Vegas so badly. Major League Baseball is saying don't talk about it publicly... If you do, we're going to prevent you from investing in any other teams in the future. It just stinks to high heaven.

NFL training camp is officially back because Lamar Jackson has diarrhea

The only other thing I had was Lamar has diarrhea again. Yeah. That's how we know football's officially back. Lamar Jackson missed the first day of training camp. He had to be sent home because his butt hurt.

Arikke Ogunbowale and the rookie class proved Team USA made a mistake leaving them off the Olympic roster

Arikke [Ogunbowale]... 34 points, six assists, eight from 13 from three. And she should have been on the team, very much should have been. [Caitlin Clark] got picked up full court by Kelsey Plum, face guarded her, and still got past her and threw a dime. Team USA like took it personally.

Patrick Mahomes is the 'animal' I would most like to be

I would like to be Patrick Mahomes. Humans are animals. Scientifically, they are, they literally are animals. If you could pick any animal to be, Patrick Mahomes would be a pretty fucking sick animal to be.

The Bears roster is almost good enough to beat the Packers, and I like Caleb Williams as a prospect

Yeah, I do [think Caleb's a good quarterback]. I like Swift. I like Keenan, DJ. I like the receiver from Washington [Rome Odunze]. I think the team is almost good enough to beat the Packers.

The Egyptian pyramids are much older than conventional history suggests

I'm wearing the Graham Hancock camp as far as like that the age of those structures is much older than they tell us. I'd like—I mean he talks a lot about the Younger Dryas and going back 10,800 years I believe it is. And to me that seems more in line.

Politics in the US is a sham where nothing ever changes

Politics I've said from the beginning is an absolute sham. Life doesn't actually get better for any of us, whether it's a Republican or a Democrat. And we're still just doing the same fucking two party system and not letting Bobby [Kennedy] get in or anybody else.

The US should have a 70 or 75-year-old age limit for political office

But just some common sense politics. Let's not let anybody over 75—the Packers have a rule, 70, you gotta retire. You go into a board of directors, it's 70, you gotta retire. That seems to make pretty good sense.

The New York media is unethical and prioritizes control

The media in general is scared of people that they can't control. Because they built this brand that can't be controlled. I would say the majority of them too are so unethical. The practices now is just a fucking joke.

The Bears are better 'on paper' than the Packers heading into the 2024 season

[I think the Bears are better than Green Bay] on paper. We're talking about on paper. I'm talking about paper. I agree with you, we're unproven, but I love—I love that Ryan Poles has, it feels like they've built a team.