Takes

The Ravens have the best defense of the four remaining playoff teams

I think I I I think they're [the Ravens] the best defense left. I think that's pretty easy to say at this point. Yeah. I think the Niners have a lot of dudes, but the Packers were able to run the ball down their throat. Like I I the Ravens just, they just have guys everywhere.

Kyle Shanahan has 'shit for brains' when it comes to clock management

You basically make the perfect football coach in terms of demeanor, scheme, intellect... and then you say, 'but let's just tweak it a little bit to fuck with him.' Let's give him a quarterback he never fully trusts and also give him shit for brains when it comes to clock management. And that's Kyle Shanahan.

Chase Young's lack of production is glaringly obvious and disappointing

Chase Young stinks... he looks so intimidated. He looks like such a good football player that when he doesn't put up any stats, you're like, 'what's going on with this guy?' ... He leads the league in tackling non-ball carriers.

America will turn on the Lions in two years if they win a Super Bowl

I feel like if the Lions get to win a Super Bowl, they'll get probably like a two-year grace period before America starts to turn on them. We turn on people pretty quickly... it might happen right away.

Missing the field goal was slightly better for Bills fans than Patrick Mahomes throwing a dagger

Losing the game this way [the wide right] is a little bit better than if [Tyler Bass] makes that kick, you kick off to Patrick Mahomes, he's got a minute 40 seconds left and then he drives down the field and puts a dagger in your heart again... you can be like, 'fucking kickers.'

Patrick Mahomes is Inevitable and the new Tom Brady

Patrick Mahomes is the new Tom Brady. They are—they just will steal joy from every franchise in the AFC for the next 15 years. That's just a fact. Patrick Mahomes is Inevitable. That's what he is. He wins playoff games better than anyone else.

The Bills must fire Sean McDermott because he's absorbed too much sadness

They have to make a change at coach... there's just too much sadness that follows him. If you're a coach, you eat some—coaches eat those losses. Some coaches just like absorb them into their bodies and get sad and they carry that baggage with them forever. Sean McDermott has just—he's been around for too many bad moments.

The Patriots will make the Super Bowl in the next four years

I owe [PFT] $20,000 [if the Patriots don't make the Super Bowl in the next 5 years]. ... You're down one year already. You got four years left. ... New coach. Top three pick. ... Look how fast the Lions did it. ... There's a path.

Patrick Mahomes might be the best quarterback to ever play

He might be the best quarterback to ever play. He's on pace to be. Fact or fiction, Hank? ... He's on pace.

A 12-year-old kid right now will be Patrick Mahomes' main target in 2035

There's a kid right now, maybe a kid who's listening to this show who's 12 years old who's gonna be catching balls from Patrick Mahomes in an AFC Championship game in year 2035. Like, think about that. Mahomes is going to win his last Super Bowl on the way out of town in 2035.

The Lions are much better than the Packers and will beat the 49ers to reach the Super Bowl

I think the Lions are way better than the Packers right now at this moment. ... The defense looks great. Way better than it did back on Thanksgiving. Yeah. So I, it's anything's possible. I'm gonna take the Lions [to beat the 49ers].

Caitlin Clark's court storming collision was an 'all-time flop'

It was a flop. I saw the alternate angle. Caitlin Clark... she leaned into the contact. The girl was just running, minding her own business, and Caitlin Clark shoved her and then just did a pirouette and fell. It's crazy. This is insane. Justice for the other girl.

Bill Belichick and the Atlanta Falcons are on a collision course

I am again tracking Arthur Blank's private jet. It's landing in Boston, Massachusetts right now. Belichick Falcons collision course. I think it's happening.

I am happy Mike McCarthy is staying in Dallas because he falters against good teams

As a Commanders fan, I, I said that it makes me very happy that Mike's coming back... I know that Mike McCarthy is a very good regular season coach, but when you play against really good teams in the Playoffs, you're gonna have to win three games... all I'm saying is much like you with Aaron Rodgers when the Cowboys lose, that's my Super Bowl.

Patrick Mahomes will not be the one to save Mike McCarthy's legacy in Dallas

People are also pointing out, like, look at Andy Reid before they started winning Super Bowls in Kansas City where it's like 12 and four, 10 and six, 11 and five. Everyone said he was a choke artist. The only issue with that is Patrick Mahomes showed up. I don't think Patrick Mahomes is showing up in Dallas.

I like the idea of Mike McCarthy staying in Dallas because it means another year of fans and media wondering how close he is to being fired

The narrative every single week with Mike McCarthy is gonna be for another year. How fired is this guy? He's been fired for like two and a half years already. ... It's good that you're coming back for another year. It's good to have another job.

I am done with the Cowboys because they kept Mike McCarthy

I said if they keep him around, I'm done with the Cowboys. I'm done with the Cowboys. Wow.

Lamar Jackson must win this divisional round game against the Texans for his legacy

Lamar [Jackson] Yeah. This is the game. Big, big time narrative. Right. If he doesn't win this game, then that's gonna, that's gonna follow him around for the rest of his career... you're a 10 point favorite, nine and a half point favorite at home against the Houston Texans rookie head coach. Rookie QB. You have to win this game if you're the Baltimore Ravens.

I am not going to doubt CJ Stroud or DeMeco Ryans until they give me a reason to

I said that I was gonna stop doubting CJ Stroud. I'm not gonna doubt CJ Stroud until he gives me a reason to. ... I'm not gonna doubt DeMeco, I'm not gonna doubt CJ Stroud.

The Ravens defense is going to kick the shit out of the Houston Texans

I think the Ravens defense is gonna kick the shit outta them... what they can do to confuse people, you know, they have, they, they move safeties around, you know, they get pressure with four. They get pressure with blitzes. I just, I think the Ravens defense, this is a Ravens defense statement game.

The over in the Packers vs. 49ers game is my nuclear missile whale play

I also love the over in this game, it's my nuclear missile whale play.

The San Francisco 49ers' run defense is only statistically good because they are always playing with a lead

Their run defense has really good stats this year. That's only because they always play with the lead. Right. So teams only get like 50 yards rushing against the Niners because guess what, you're down by like 17 points in the first quarter.

Christian McCaffrey finishing 2023 with exactly 2023 all-purpose yards is the stat of the year

Did you know the history... Did you know that he also finished with 2023 All purpose Yards and he's the first player to ever finish with the same number of yards as the year... I think it's Stat of the year.

The Detroit Lions are going to roll over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the divisional round

Stay off our train. It's too late for [the doubters]. Love that [Dan Campbell] is not opening up the bandwagon. ... I think they're gonna roll over the Bucks. I think the Bucks pass defense on the road is one of the worst in the league.

I want the 49ers to win the Super Bowl to retroactively erase the Eagles' success from last year

I'm rooting for them to get to the Super Bowl now because I want, I want it to be erased... He's gonna deal with 49ers fans being like, it never would've beaten us... I'm rooting for them to win and, and win big. And so that way we can be like, the 49ers should have been in the Super Bowl against the Chiefs.

The Chiefs will beat the Bills because of Buffalo's defensive injuries

I'm rooting for the bills. I think the Chiefs are gonna win... Their defensive injuries have been insane. I've, they're so bad... That feels like a lot. They've had a lot of injuries. The cornerback and linebacker position. Josh's, Allen's gonna have to play a superhuman game.

Taylor Swift better be careful in Buffalo because she might fall in love with a Pinto Ron-type character in the Bill's Mafia

Taylor's going to the game. ... She better be careful in Buffalo. ... because I think that if she's not careful, she could fall in love with somebody in Bill's Mafia big time. ... Pinto Ron is gonna take her home. ... She's gonna see some real men in Buffalo.

I'm going to play football as long as possible to avoid having to do sports media

Honestly, man, that's the last thing I want to do is be doing interviews to get myself behind a camera. So I'm gonna try to do this as long as possible and, and diminish those possibilities as much as I can.

I knew I could really throw a football for the first time when I was 8 years old

I was eight years old, I think I was in first grade, but I threw a couple passes to [my dad] and I just remember the look on his face kind of like, all right, that was pretty good bud. ... I just remember seeing a little bit of a look on his face and his reaction and being like, ah, maybe I can throw.

My second son will have to play quarterback because he is too natural of a thrower

My second son for sure is going to have to play quarterback. I think he, he's just too natural a thrower. So I'm, oh man, that's great. Another line of Flacco would be awesome.

The 'elite' label came from winning games without gaudy stats — people wear the sweatshirt both sincerely and as a joke, and either way it's fun

I was winning a bunch of games in Baltimore, but my stats were never gonna fly off the stat sheet. We were winning games because we had a formula with how we won games. ... The funny thing is, is now people could like, listen, I have buddies wearing the sweatshirt because they're like, yeah, damn right he's elite. And I have detractors that are out there probably using it as a joke. ... Either way it's a story and I have a lot of fun with it.

The Wildcat is stupid; if you're going to run it, just take the quarterback off the field

If you're gonna do it, just take me off the field. You know, like, like let's, let's get an actual football player here so that we can actually accomplish something For real... that's why when I, when I go out there, I, I, I stay like five yards off the ball so there's no chance of me looking like an idiot.

I am returning to a private lifestyle because the internet ruined the Tiffany Gomas content

I will definitely be going back to, to zero dark private life mode... because it's fun. I enjoy it and, and you know, 99% of the people are fun. They play along... But then there's the 1% of people, people that will DMM and, and, and, and just go way over the top.

The Cowboys should extend both Dak Prescott and Mike McCarthy

I still think with the, you know, benefit of hindsight, another day to think about it. You gotta extend both Dak Prescott and Mike McCarthy. Yeah, I think listen, you won 13 games, right? ... sometimes stability is your best stability.

The Bills defense will have a hard time stopping Patrick Mahomes with their current injuries

I am very nervous for the Bills defense going up against Patrick Mahomes in the Playoffs. It feels like they're gonna have to patchwork something together here. And maybe, maybe they just have to just do like their offense just has to go nuclear. ... they've lost everything [on defense].

Mike Vrabel is the perfect culture fit to be the next head coach of the Steelers

I think Vrabel obviously, he's the culture fit there. Be perfect, be perfect fit for Pittsburgh.

Safeties should be worth between three and five points

Safety should be worth more than two points. Safety should be worth between four, three and five points. ... Safeties are so hard to do. And they're so awesome when they happen. ... The fact that they're only worth two points is just, it doesn't make any sense.

The Eagles should fire everyone on the coaching staff except Big Dom

I want every one of them go ... Big dom stays. Big dom has stayed through multiple coaching generations. ... We need a leader of men on this team.

The Eagles' end-of-season collapse is the worst in the history of sports

This is also the worst collapse in like the history of sports. It really is actually... the Eagles were very good last year and went to the Super Bowl and then the 10 and 1. It was a coin flip Super Bowl game.

Jalen Hurts is still a top 10 quarterback despite the poor season ending

Jalen is still a good quarterback. ... I would say I, I, I, well a thousand percent say that. I think he's top 10. I think he was borderline top five going to this year. I think he's probably between five and 10.

Jim Harbaugh will be interviewed by the Falcons

Next up hasn't been reported yet. Harbaugh will be interviewed by the Falcons. The plane, I believe just picked him up and is flying back to Atlanta with 'em right now for the interview.

I would take Mike Vrabel for sure to be the next head coach of the Eagles

I would take [Mike Vrabel] for sure. Leader of men. Leader of men. Leader of men.

Romantically, things are not going to happen with Tiffany Gomas

I would like to, you know, set the record straight that we're not [dating]. ... we just kind of said, let's, let's just, you know, call a spade a spade and go our separate ways. ... I just think romantically it's not, it's not not gonna happen.

I don't believe for a second that Lions fans actually booed Matthew Stafford's daughters

Kelly Stafford came out and said that Lions fans booed her four little daughters. She's since retracted. But that was a crazy lie... no one's like to say that your daughters got booed is insane. I stand with Lions fans. There's no way... unless you show me a video of a Lions fans pointing at the daughter and being like, 'see you little girl, boo.' No chance.

Liberty Football's 2.96 GPA is actually good for a team GPA

Liberty Football. They tweeted ... 2.96 cumulative GPA. ... It's actually not terrible for a team. It's really good. ... football team. It's the old, 'I didn't play school'.

College is a sham where you just have to find the hacks and tricks to get through

College is a sham. It's a big trick. You just gotta get through the tricks. You just find tricks and then you're like, alright, this class is easy... I hit 120 [credits] the last second. It's really, college is like, can you find the, the hacks?

Green Bay dominating Dallas was the biggest surprise of Wild Card weekend

I think the biggest surprise has to be Green Bay going in and winning the way they did. I thought they would hang around in the game, but to go in there and dominate the way they did, that was a bad look for Dallas.

Jordan Love is playing so well that I've admitted he is probably a future Hall of Famer

Jordan loves playing incredible football. I've just admitted that he's probably a future hall of famer. ... That guy has a little bit of 'it' to it. You know, you can't see that when, when a guy comes out in the draft.

CJ Stroud reminds me of Dan Marino in his heyday

He makes me think of Dan Marino in his heyday. ... He makes it look so easy with the quick release and the ability to throw out. ... The ability to decipher it and put it right on the numbers and make it makes it look easy. There, there are a few guys that walk into this league and make it look that easy. That's why he reminds me of Marino.

Patrick Mahomes might end up passing Tom Brady as the greatest of all time in every category

He might end up passing Brady as the greatest of all time in terms of Super Bowls, MVPs, numbers, the whole deal. I mean that's, he's special and he carries that team every single week.