Takes

Josh Allen officially owns the Miami Dolphins

[Josh Allen] owns the Dolphins. It was the heat was the only thing that beat him... he's also thrown multiple passing touchdowns in all 12 games in his career against the Dolphins, which is the longest streak by a quarterback against a single opponent in NFL history.

Michael Penix Jr. has been the most consistent and best player in college football

Nobody in college football has made more big plays than more big moments than Michael Penix has. And Pennix is absolutely amazing right now. And the year he's had, and the things he's done. And, and to me, I mean, maybe he's been the most consistent and best player in college football.

College football needs a commissioner to fix the current chaos

College football right now, it needs a commissioner. It needs a commissioner. And, we need to do this thing the right way... get your 50 or 60 teams, whoever's gonna be in division one, make it more like an NFL league, intertwine your leagues of play a lot more.

The report that Texas A&M had a $30 million NIL class was a complete lie

When [Sliced Bread] wrote those numbers, I said, my God, where's it at? I wish that would've happened. The amount of NIL deals at A&M at that time... was less than a million. There was right at a million dollars for all sports combined.

Florida State deserved to be in the CFP as an undefeated conference champion

Florida State should have been in the playoff... I'm an advocate of they went undefeated, they deserve to be in it. It's about what you do between the white lines... they earned the right to be in it.

I am definitely playing next NFL season

That's a no brainer, bro. I mean, I've never had this low of a sack total in my career since rookie year. I'm already in my villain arc. I'm headed into my revenge season. I'm playing this and I'm already spurned.

I am seven and a half sacks away from being a lock for the Hall of Fame

I'd say seven and a half sacks from now for the world to say I'm a hall of Famer. Once I hit that 125 threshold... sometime could be this game or next year, it's gonna be like, alright. Cemented 125. 125 is getting into a hall of Fame.

Philadelphia Eagles fans are the most annoying fan base in the NFL

Philly, anytime of the year. Anytime of the year, bro. They're like vegans. They're like, you know, you don't ask if they're vegan or not. They tell you. Like, 'yo, what about our Philly?' I didn't even say anything about Philly football.

Michael Penix Jr. should be the first quarterback taken in the NFL Draft

Michael Penix [Jr.] should be the first quarterback taken in the draft. He was so good tonight, I think this might be the best college football performance from a quarterback I've seen in a very long time. He was like going back to Cam Newton.

Jalen Milroe played poorly against Michigan, looking like his early-season self

I thought [Jalen] Milroe stunk today. I thought Milroe looked a lot like old Milroe and not new Milroe. It was frustrating if you're an Alabama fan, he couldn't even connect on like a five, six yard pass. Everything looked a little bit outta sorts. Michigan was able to lean on him a little bit.

Lefty quarterbacks are harder for defenses to intercept because the ball's spin is different

Isn't it also harder for defenses to intercept a lefty quarterback? ... The spin of the ball. Safety [struggles to] catch it. They don't think about the fact that it's hard for a safety to catch it.

Dan Campbell's aggression is acceptable because it is consistent

I think Dan Campbell, it's crazy to all of us. I don't think it's crazy at all to his players. I think he tells his players before the game, here's the plan. If we're ever in this situation, we're going for two. We're trying to win this game... when Dan Campbell's aggressive and consistently aggressive, I'm all for it.

The fumble-through-the-end-zone touchback rule is a good rule that should not be changed

Everyone out there tweets the same thing. This is the worst rule in sports. Fuck you. It's not, it's actually a great rule. The end zone exists as a special place in football. There's different rules in the end zone... It's an agent of chaos too, which I, I like that little bit of uncertainty when you get down to the goal line.

Mike McCarthy is the downfall of the Dallas Cowboys

Mike McCarthy, you have probably the best kicker in football right now... Mike McCarthy used a timeout before the two point conversion. If they get the two point conversion, you have two timeouts... He is so fucking stupid, so fat. He will be the downfall for the Dallas Cowboys.

Lamar Jackson has officially secured the 2023 NFL MVP

Ravens 56 Dolphins 19 Ravens. The one seed. This was an ass kicking. Lamar Jackson. MVP. Happy. We can be done with that discussion.

Tyler Huntley and the Ravens' backups can beat the Steelers in Week 18 even if the starters rest

I think Tyler Huntley might win that game. I think Tyler Huntley might win that game just because I think they'll rest all their key guys and I think Tyler Huntley might still win that game.

The Ravens must reach the Super Bowl to satisfy Lamar Jackson's legacy

It does feel though that the Ravens... there's a legacy Playoffs from Lamar Jackson coming up because if they fall short of, I would say they have to get to the Super Bowl. They have to get to the Super Bowl.

Shane Steichen is the 2023 NFL Coach of the Year

Shane Steichen should be Coach of the Year. He's got my vote. He's had my vote for a while. Colts were over under six and a half wins. They're now gonna play for a win and get in.

Jalen Carter will win NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year

Jalen Carter's gonna win [Defensive Rookie of the Year]. He is a record man. Jalen Carter's gonna win.

The Commanders will most likely draft a quarterback with their high 2024 draft pick

We will most likely be taking a quarterback... I want a brand new slate of everything. I'm talking I want—we got a new owner. I would like a new head coach, new general manager... new team name.

The Chicago Bears are building a winner identical to the 2022 Detroit Lions

The Bears are building something. I don't care what people say. I know people are gonna trash me. The Bears are building something. They're basically identical to what the Lions did last year and the fact that they almost made the Playoffs... Justin Fields. We're keeping Justin Fields. We're taking all the picks.

The Chicago Bears will be a good football team in 2024

The Bears are going to be good in 2024. I'm saying it right now. This team is playing fucking good football. Justin Fields looks good... I don't care that this might be a terrible soundbite for me next year, but I'm saying it right now and I believe it.

Nick Sirianni should be fired if the Eagles lose in the first round of the playoffs

If they lose in the first round... gone. Gone. I don't know what he does. Shane Steichen going on and doing what he's doing and then the offense looking what it is without him is insane. Like he has to be gone.

The Kansas City Chiefs are dangerous in the playoffs because everyone finally respects them less

I think they might be dangerous. Because I think that this is the one time where the Chiefs actually have the 'nobody believes in us' card that they can play... they will go through a dumpster to find disrespect. Now the entire world is talking shit about them... I think they're very scary in the Playoffs.

Kirk Cousins will return to the Minnesota Vikings next season

Is Kirk Cousins gonna come back? I think he's, I would guess that he's gonna come back to the Vikings... He'd probably be okay with taking a pay cut just to avoid the nuisance of having to move your family to a new city.

The Steelers will make the playoffs as the seven seed while the Jaguars miss out

I'm doing the math right now. If the Steelers win, it would be the Steelers as the seven seed, Jaguars out. ... I think the Jaguars might lose [to the Titans].

PMT should make Steamboat Willie t-shirts now that the character is in the public domain

Mickey Mouse is back because the original Mickey Mouse, Steamboat Willie just entered the public domain, meaning anybody can now use that version of Mickey Mouse in designs. So we should make a T-shirt. We should make Pardon My Take Mickey Mouse shirts.

Joe Flacco is officially elite

Joe Flacco is elite. He is fucking elite. And the Cleveland Browns clincher playoff spot. Yes. And watching this game, the, the thought occurred to me, what if we had a Browns line, super Bowl?

I have more confidence in the 2023 Browns with Joe Flacco than I would if Deshaun Watson were still healthy

I feel so much more confident about the Cleveland Browns in 2023 than if Deshaun Watson had played the whole season. I can't believe I'm saying that sentence, but I fully believe it. Like I think Joe [Flacco], with how he's playing right now, is the perfect guy for this.

If Joe Flacco wins the Super Bowl with the Browns, he must be a Hall of Famer

What if Joe Flacco wins? If Joe Flacco wins the super Bowl with the Browns, he has to be a Hall of Famer, right? Has to a hundred percent.

The Lions and Cowboys will go over the point total because neither defense can stop the other

I'm gonna take this over because I don't know how either team stops the other. Like, it does feel like both teams are just gonna do whatever they want offensively.

Connor Stallions has been working for the Baltimore Ravens since resigning from Michigan

Do you think that there's any chance at all that Connor Stallions has been working for the Ravens since he resigned from Michigan? I think it's not a 0% chance... I'm just gonna float it out there with absolutely no backing behind it. Besides the fact that McDonald's used to coach at Michigan. And Connor Stallions is a hardball guy for life.

Baker Mayfield should win NFL Comeback Player of the Year

He [Baker Mayfield] should win Comeback Player of the Year. Joe Flacco. I no disrespect to DeMar Hamlin, but why is he winning? He should not win Come...

DeMar Hamlin should not win NFL Comeback Player of the Year

I'll be the brave one and say, this guy shouldn't win the award... It is just a fact. He shouldn't win the award.

Antonio Pierce has earned the full-time head coaching job for the Raiders

I do think that Antonio Pierce has, has coached his way into being the full-time head coach. Agree. If they really wanna win this game, Mark Davis should announce before the game starts. Like you're giving away a scholarship like this, this Walk-on now has earned his position.

The Patriots will cover the +13 spread against the Bills because their defense is elite

13 [points] is too much for this game. All us Patriots fans know... our defense is really good. Their defense is not the problem at all. Their defense is good enough to win football games.

There isn't a single team in the NFL right now that can be fully trusted

I don't think there's a team you can trust right now in the NFL. You go down the list... I don't think there's one team that you can, you could say like, put my life on the line. They win this game.

Kyron Williams deserves a $15 million per year contract solely for his elite pass blocking

Kyron Williams is one of those guys that like, he should just do a whole blocking highlight and that should get him $15 million a year alone. Because he saves Matthew Stafford's life multiple times a game.

Russell Wilson will be a starting quarterback in Week 1 of the 2024 NFL season

I think [Russell Wilson] is going to start week one next year and then I don't know if he's going to last the entire season and then there'll be one more team that's like, let's roll the dice.

Russell Wilson played himself out of a Hall of Fame career

We'll always have the danger witch. Yeah, he, he definitely played himself out of a hall of Fame career. Right. I don't know that, that's gonna be a tough one... Russell, Wilson is nowhere near top 10 now.

Oregon is going to destroy Liberty in the Fiesta Bowl

17 points is not nearly enough points. They're so strong... They're way bigger than Liberty. So I'm hammering Oregon this weekend.

We should celebrate Ja Morant's finger-gun celebrations as progress because at least he isn't using actual guns

I would rather Ja Morant be waving his fingers around in the shape of guns than actual guns. Right. This we should be celebrating that as progress.

Betting against the Miami Hurricanes in cold-weather bowl games is the easiest bet in sports

Miami just having to play in a cold weather city is like the easiest bet against every single year in Bowl season. Rutgers just wanted it way more.

Having a clear vision is the most important tool for success in life

I put this number one in my book, be useful because I think that vision is the most important thing. If you don't have a very clear vision of what you want to accomplish in life, and if you don't have a very clear vision where you want to go, you don't have anything, you're just kind of like drifting around.

Admitting your mistakes is the only way to learn and improve

You learn, you know, sometimes even more from the failures than we do from the successes. And so we have to be very honest, when you fail, you have to be very, very honest... You've gotta go and just look in the mirror and say, you fucked up and here's what you did wrong. And then analyze it, and they take the blame for it.

The world is heading toward the AI future depicted in the Terminator movies

As we went on with time, decade after decade, all of a sudden I realized, oh my God, we are actually going in that direction. And what Jim Cameron wrote about is going to happen, you know, that the machines are now so sophisticated, so far ahead of human way of thinking that they are so far ahead.

In order to be successful, you must know how to sell yourself and your product by being quotable and outrageous

I always knew how to sell. That's why one of the chapters in my book... is Sell, sell, sell. Because it's all about how do you sell something... you had to be kind of like really way out there of the things that you say, so that it's quotable, and people would say, oh my God, I got to write a story on this guy.

The rivalry with Sylvester Stallone made both of them more successful and drove them to improve

Stallone by being so good made me better. So he gets, it's kind of like a competition. If you go to the Olympics and you're the only one that is running the a hundred meter sprint, you know, you're not gonna get the performance out of it as if, if a bunch of guys are chasing you. And so it's always kind of the competition that creates performance.

I will be in the best shape of my life when I turn 40

I have the double whammy of our birthday month is coming up and it's our last birthday in our thirties. And I am trying to tell myself that when I turn 40, I have to turn 40 in good shape in the best shape of my life... I'm going to put in a very concerted effort starting on Tuesday.

Your physical health and fitness decisions do not matter until you turn 40 years old

I've always thought that nothing that you do before you're 40 really matters. So once you're 40, you're an adult... if you turn 40 and you're not in good shape, nobody ever gets in great shape after they're 40... besides that, you don't really clean your life up that much in terms of your physique.