Takes

I would not swap Mitchell Trubisky's contract for Aaron Rodgers' right now

Big Cat, would you trade Mitchell Trubisky for Aaron Rodgers right now if you had to swap contracts? No. No. If we had to swap contracts, it would be over the cap. You don't read the fucking cap, idiot. I'm a fucking capologist.

Sean McVay's photographic memory is actually a curse when things go poorly

I think Sean McVay's photographic memory is a blessing and a curse because what do they always say? You have to have a short memory to get past the fucked up plays. So having a photographic memory is great when things are going really well. But then when things go really poorly, that's all you think about.

The Eagles cannot go back to Carson Wentz if Nick Foles runs the table and makes the playoffs

If Nick Foles runs the table here and the Eagles get into the playoffs and let's say he wins a game or two, how can you go back to Carson Wentz? This guy, like, that was a game 13.5-point underdogs. Everyone said the Eagles season was over. He's throwing jump balls to Alshon Jeffrey. He's getting the offense going.

Tito Ortiz is literally one of the dumbest human beings on planet earth

I think that [Oscar De La Hoya] is getting a lot of this information from Tito Ortiz who is literally and I'm not just saying this to be real he's one of the dumbest human beings on planet earth he's primate level this guy

Jon Jones would have been the LeBron of MMA if he had his personal life together

If you look at how good Jon Jones is, and if he had his personal life together, what a big star he'd be right now and how much money he would have made. He would have been the LeBron of this sport.

The 'Affliction' and 'True Religion' fashion days of the UFC were horrible

The affliction days were bad. The affliction days were bad. It was so funny you just said that to me because we were looking we were doing all these documentaries about the ufc... affliction horrible those days and the god what were those jeans true religion. Oh my God. I see the true religion jeans and all that stuff I'm like shoot me.

Mike Tomlin and Jason Garrett are the same coach: 'the dog in the fire saying this is fine'

Mike Tomlin and Jason Garrett are the dogs sitting in the fire saying this is fine at all times. They love to just stand on the sidelines and say to themselves, well, this time it's got to be different. Like we're doing the exact same thing we've done since the beginning of time, but this time it's going to work.

The Chargers should play their home playoff games in San Diego

I think if they get home field advantage in the playoffs, which is possible... they should play their home games in San Diego. Give it back to the people. San Diegans have suffered long enough.

If the Bears don't win the Super Bowl, I want the Chargers to win it

obviously I want the Bears to win the Super Bowl, but if the Bears cannot win the Super Bowl, I want the Chargers to win the Super Bowl. They are America's team. This is talking about Antonio Gates, talking about Philip Rivers having fun.

Patrick Mahomes is getting a little too cute with his play style

I think sometimes [Mahomes] gets a little too cute. I think a little too cute. He throws a lot of left-handed passes. ... You know what bothers me is every time there's a penalty, he points way too fast that it's on the other team.

If I am ever on fire, do not piss on me to put it out

I want to say for the record, if I'm ever on fire, don't piss on me. No, just remind me to stop, drop, and roll. It's not going to help unless you're Peter North and have a stream like a fire hose. It's not going to put out the fire. You're just going to be pissing on me as I burn to death.

It is great for golf that Patrick Reed is a villain everyone hates

Patrick Reed, though, he is the bad boy of golf. And I love this because this just keeps his street cred just keeps going up, up, and up. Everyone hates him. Guess what? It's fucking golf. ... It's actually great to have a bad guy in golf.

The term 'rad' is making a comeback with younger kids

I think rad's making a comeback. ... New young kids using rad. Okay. Calling it that Levi's shirts.

Adam Ottavino could strike out Babe Ruth every single time

Adam Ottavino says that he can strike out Babe Ruth every single time. Well, he definitely can right now, Babe Ruth's dead body... [But seriously] Adam Ottavino, I agree. Well, I definitely think so.

Signing Kirk Cousins was a bad idea that everyone predicted would fail

Kirk Cousins' signing was one of those things where everyone in the world was like, 'Hey, this is a bad idea.' To a man, everyone was like, 'Hey, this is a really bad idea.' But because of the NFL and how the quarterback position is played... anyone could be sucked in and talk themselves into saying Kirk Cousins.

Kirk Cousins is just Case Keenum in a tuxedo

Now, what he is, is Case Keenum in a tuxedo. He is the nicest looking version of Case Keenum that you can put together.

There should be no preseason or first-month polls in college sports

There should be no polls until like two months into the season anyway. There should be no preseason polls. There should be no first-month polls in college basketball or college football. Take the bias out.

Lori Greiner is the scariest Shark on Shark Tank

I'm always afraid of Lori. We're kind of in the same space of bringing consumer products to the market. And she has two platforms. She has a very strong platform with QVC. And she's also, if it's a woman-related product, she can be the face of it... I always have to have a tussle with Lori.

The Bears are now the class of the NFC

I think that we should [talk about the Bears] because they are now the class of the NFC. I'll just say it. Sean McVay can name every single player that picked him off tonight.

Defense still wins games when the weather gets cold

I'm just going to say it, boys. Once the weather starts getting cold, defense does show up... I think defense still wins games.

The Cowboys trade for Amari Cooper was a ballsy move that worked

The Amari Cooper trade, when we laughed at it and everyone laughed at it, that was a fucking ballsy move, and it has worked out. Amari Cooper has basically re-found himself.

Oklahoma should lose the 'Oklahoma Drill' name because they aren't smash-mouth anymore

At what point do we discuss... removing the label Oklahoma from Oklahoma drill. Because they haven't done that in like 50 years.

Bear Weather is 100% real

It's like the perfect meatball thing that you can laugh at, like, ha, ha, ha, bare weather... But then when you're in your heart of hearts, you're like, no, no, that's fucking real. Bare weather is 100% real.

The Chicago Bulls are an absolute laughingstock of an organization

The dysfunction at the Bulls organization. They are an absolute laughingstock of an organization... They are the most... It's like the Chiefs used to be with Scott Pioli and that whole crew. And they're such little, little people. They're so scared of any criticism... Gar Foreman is a little fucking loser.

The Cowboys will find a way to fuck up their season despite their current success

If there's anything I know about the Cowboys, they'll find a way to fuck it all up.

There are 10 NFL teams that would want Joe Flacco to be their starting quarterback next year

There are probably 10 teams that would want Flacco to start for them next year.

Joe Flacco should have beaten the Patriots and would have won two Super Bowls — he's more than borderline elite

I'm getting a little steamed up about Joe Flacco because of what you said, borderline elite. People forget he should have beaten the Patriots. He beats the shit out of the Patriots on the road. He should have beaten them in the playoffs that one year. His tight end dropped the ball. His kicker missed a kick. If they had that game won, they would have won another Super Bowl.

The UFC is copying the WWE business plan to a T

Vince McMahon is where the UFC, if you watch what WWE has done, the UFC's copying their plan to a tee. So if they make a move, plan on the UFC making the same move.

LeBron James is dropping 'I'm washed' hints to pre-excuse not winning a title with the Lakers

LeBron, though, is definitely going to start dropping these hints to pre-excuse not winning another title. He's old. He needs help.

Brian Kelly is on the hot seat because Urban Meyer is now 'lurking' for the Notre Dame job

The hot seat, the loser of this, Brian Kelly. Now, I don't think that Urban Meyer is going to coach at Notre Dame, but you better believe that if next year Notre Dame doesn't play well the entire year, there will be a ton of Urban Meyer. He's just lurking. Basically, if you are a premier program now, you have Urban Meyer lurking over your shoulder.

The song 'Mo Bamba' is officially dead now that Big Cat is singing it

My Hot Seat is... Mo Bamba. The song. Because Big Cat finally has become aware of it, has been singing it nonstop for the past couple days. So that's pretty much as clear as day sign that it's over.

The late 90s Mariners are one of the best teams to never win a World Series

The sad thing is that I found out very quickly the difference between good and great is very small... That's a great – I think that's one of the best teams that's never won... very seldom do you have a team that you have the best pitcher in the game in Randy Johnson, the best player in the game in Ken Griffey Jr., the best pure hitter in the game in Edgar Martinez, and the scariest, baddest motherfucker in Jay Buhner.

I earned my Yankee pinstripes by the 2009 season

[Speaker 3]: Have you officially, do you think you earned your pinstripes? [A-Rod]: Yes. 100%. Not even a flinch... To 2009.

Markelle Fultz's injury diagnosis sounds like a specialty machine scam

Neurogenic thoracic outlet syndrome. That sounds like a diagnosis that you have to go see many doctors to get... and then the last one, you walk in and the doctor's in a huge lab coat smoking a cigarette. He's like, oh, I know what this is. It's just TOS... either that or if you go to a doctor and the first thing they diagnose you with is TOS – you can bet your ass that doctor has like a $700,000 TOS curing disease machine in his back room.

Firing Mike McCarthy mid-season was the right move for the Packers

I actually I think this is the right move just because that team clearly has quit on him... The Packers were so clearly going to fire him. Why not just put everyone out of their misery? This actually probably helps Mike McCarthy. He can go get another job now.

Melvin Gordon is the first or second best running back in the NFL

Melvin Gordon is like, I think – if not the best running back, probably the second best running back right now in the NFL.

The Cowboys created the blueprint for beating the Saints

A blueprint on how to beat the Saints... You've got to play at home, so you've got to stay away from New Orleans. You have to have an all-time defensive performance from your defense. You have to have an all-time terrible performance from Drew Brees. You have to have a coach that secretly wants the Cowboys job.

The Cowboys making the playoffs would make Jason Garrett more fireable

If his team is good enough to make the playoffs and get their asses kicked in the first round of the playoffs, that makes him way more fireable than if he goes 9-7 and doesn't make it.

Dak Prescott will be the undoing of the Cowboys in the playoffs

Dak Prescott will be the undoing of the Cowboys and they'll still have to extend him... would you ever trust Dak Prescott on a big, maybe fourth quarter, has to drive the team down the field?

Darren Rovell is suspended from Pardon My Take for six months

Darren Rovell, you cannot invite yourself like this on Pardon My Take. We are now hereby suspending you from appearing on this podcast for how long? I say six months, at least.

Alabama should get into the CFP even if they lose to Georgia

If you're asking me do I think Alabama gets the fourth spot [if they lose to Georgia], I think absolutely they will be in based on kind of what the committee is doing... it would be hard to believe that they would fall more than three spots out of the top four if they lost.

Kyler Murray's Heisman race is closer than people think

Kyler Murray is surpassing everything Baker Mayfield did last year as far as numbers-wise. And you could even argue he's better... I think it's going to be a really close race. And I think whichever one wins it, I think obviously it's much deserved.

The NCAA needs to fix the chop block and officiating rules

We've made it almost impossible for the officials to officiate a game consistently... when there's variance during the course of a game or during week to week, it just really makes it hard to coach... the rules have gotten screwed up and there's no impetus to change things.

Fullbacks add a necessary toughness to a football team

Fullbacks just add toughness to a team, and I think it was a really good way to articulate the value of a fullback... It just adds to your team's physicality and their toughness, and the way we play, that's really important to us.

Cody Kessler is trash

I think Cody Kessler stinks. I think he's trash. He's absolutely trash.

Cody Kessler was brought in to make Blake Bortles nervous, not to make the team better

I don't think [Kessler] was there to make Blake Bortles better. I think he was brought in to make Blake Bortles nervous. And that's not a recipe for having a good football team.

Adults should only want cash for Christmas

If you want to get your significant other something very nice for Christmas, it is C-A-S-H, cash. You become an adult and you realize cash is king... I want the cash so I can pay my bookie.

Something in the Packers' organization has to change because they have squandered Aaron Rodgers' prime

Something's going on over there, and something's got to be fixed or changed because they've found a way to kind of squander some of his prime years... something's got to change.

Aaron Rodgers is more talented than Tom Brady

I think from a talent level, definitely Aaron. I mean, the guy's insanely talented, and he's got a photographic memory... [but] I'm going to say, just because of my personal relationship, Aaron Rodgers [is the GOAT].

The Green Bay Packers are officially dead

The Packers are finally officially dead. They actually look like they don't want to play anymore... It's just over.