Takes

The Seahawks are in serious trouble because of their upcoming schedule against the Niners and Eagles

The Seahawks are in trouble... They have to play. Their next two games are against the Niners and the Eagles. And they, they can't keep losing and make the playoffs.

The Lions are at a crossroads after two bad games and need to prove they are a real NFC contender against the Saints

This, this is gonna be a true test to the Lions. They're, I feel like they're at a crossroads. 'cause they've had two bad games... Are they a real team in the NFC? Can they go down and beat the saints who are very injured?

Every NFC South coach who doesn't win the division will be fired

Whoever wins the NFC South will not fire their coach going into next season. Agreed. Every other team will... I'm not saying that they should... we can say the entire NFC South is coaching for their job.

I like the Texans over the Broncos because Denver's turnover luck is unsustainable

I feel like the Broncos have, it's been very nice, but when the fumbles and the Picks stop, it's like, okay, do they have the offense to like get these sustained drives? ... That's kind of why I like the Texans.

The Patriots might actually win against the Chargers despite being terrible

The Patriots are so so bad... With all that said... Maybe worst team, I don't know how you could bet the Chargers minus five and a half on the road because the Chargers love to not like win games. ... I think we might though [win].

I've staked my entire reputation on Joe Flacco possibly being elite — and the Browns OC says he still has an elite arm

Per the offensive coordinator of the Browns, Alex Van Pelt, he said Flacco still has an elite arm. Listen, I've staked my entire reputation on Joe Flacco possibly being elite.

The Niners will beat the Eagles this Sunday because Philadelphia's defense is gassed after playing 92 snaps last week

The Eagles have the defense... played 92 snaps on Sunday. That's a lot of snaps... I feel like the Niners have this game circled more than the Eagles can. And I think that like, this will be the NFC championship game in the Eagles will probably beat them in the NFC championship game. But I feel like this Sunday it's Niners.

No NFL team has ever completed the 'bird gauntlet' of beating every bird team in a single season

The bird gauntlet is playing against all of the bird teams. And no NFL team has ever beaten the bird gauntlet. It's never happened. ... No team has ever beaten every bird team in a single season in the history of the NFL.

I will never officially retire from the NFL

I don't think I would ever retire. Oh. Oh... I'm one of those guys... if I were to come back at that particular point in time, it would be just for the fans... I'm just waiting on somebody to tick me off.

I could catch 10 passes in an NFL game today if I played tight end

I mean, at tight end? Sure. I could get 10 catches receiver three... slant back shoulder type... being savvy and understand how to get in certain positions.

I'm potentially returning to the NFL next year and waiting for someone to motivate me

That's not too far off. I'm just waiting on somebody to tick me off. ... if I'm moved by it, I'm going to get moved by it. Right spot, right place, right time.

The Bears should put Justin Fields in a high-gear, uptempo offense

I would have that fucker in high gear. High gear... I think a beneficiary who would benefit off of a uptempo offense is Justin Fields. Because a tired lineman... does not want to run around trying to chase a quarterback. When they do uptempo and they let him like be himself, he looks great.

Peyton Manning did the NFL a disservice by creating an unrealistic standard for athletic quarterbacks

Peyton Manning did this league a disservice... by having like, you know, 350 yards passing... All right, here comes Michael Vick. Here comes a Cam Newton... athletic quarterbacks that we're going to get the yards elsewhere... it's not the prototypical way. We're used to seeing yards being made.

The Broncos' 2023 turnaround is 100% because Russell Wilson never folded as a leader

This season turned around. It starts with leadership and it starts with one guy, Russell Wilson... he doesn't change, he doesn't fold even when it fucking hurts... he stayed the same... my theory is that the turnaround happened because Russell Wilson and his unwavering faith, he never folded even when it hurt.

The Bears are no longer a million pieces away from being a good football team

For the first time in a very long time, I'm optimistic about the Chicago Bears and where they're headed because I think you can build off of what they've done defensively... we're no longer just like a million pieces away. We're a few pieces away from being a good football team.

Montez Sweat is a better overall player than Chase Young

I agree that Sweat is an impact maker on defense. I told you he was better than Chase Young.

Josh Dobbs should not learn the playbook to be a better quarterback

He maybe should just not learn the playbook because... when he was in Arizona, he had been signed to the Cardinals like two weeks before the season started and played well... maybe it's just learning the playbook is too much.

If the Bears secure the #1 overall pick, they should trade Justin Fields

If you have the first overall pick, I think the move is probably to try to trade Justin Fields. See what you can get for him. Maybe decide on [his option] and then yeah, see what you can get for him. I think the new coach is gonna probably want to go in a different direction.

David Tepper is aggressively bad and has quickly become the worst owner in the NFL

David Tepper is, I mean, he's so quickly become the worst owner. Dan Snyder leaving helped out a lot. [Tepper] is aggressively bad where he's doing too much. He's the problem. He's like, 'I'm gonna just fix all these problems by micromanaging and firing people.'

The loss to Michigan was the worst loss for the Ohio State fan base ever

I actually think this might be the worst loss for a fan base ever in Ohio State... If they had won on Saturday, they could have all gone around and said, the only reason you beat us was 'cause you cheated. And the minute you couldn't cheat anymore, all the normalcy has been restored. Now Michigan... gets to be like, you guys cried, you bitched, you moaned, you started investigations and we still just ran the ball down your throat.

Arch Manning is so good that his receivers can't catch his passes

I think Arch Manning might be too good of a quarterback. I don't think that there are receivers out there that are good enough to play with Arch Manning. He had two touchdown passes... that were just fucking laser beams right on their hands bounced off their hands. It was too good of a ball.

Florida State will get screwed out of the playoff because of ratings

Florida State will get fucked... they want to have big names in this playoff. And right now, Florida State, even though they are a big name traditionally, they don't have the same buzz as like a Texas would have. So I'm just thinking that Florida State will get fucked unless they win by like 40 points.

AI will never be able to replace podcasting because it isn't capable of being consistently wrong or stupid enough to replicate human banter

I feel very secure in my job. I don't think that we would ever be able to be taken over by AI. How would they get things wrong all the time? Like don't, don't computers get things right? Can you imagine an AI having a debate about whether or not [something is] a bad take?

The narrative that AI is an existential threat to humanity is a marketing ploy designed to make the technology seem more advanced than it is

The people who are being terrified about AI and all this buzz about AI taking over everyone's job, taking over the world. That's marketing. That the AI people are trying to get out there to build buzz about AI and also make you think it's advanced.

The Blackhawks should hold a press conference to protect Connor Bedard from rumors

The Black Hawks should do a better job of making sure they protect Connor Bedard at all costs. And you're, he's your franchise player. Maybe just do a press conference and explain what happened [with Corey Perry].

Florida State shouldn't automatically be in the playoff just because they are undefeated

The loss of Jordan Travis to me is pretty significant... We live in an era where it's like, okay, they're undefeated, so they're in because they're in a Power five. I just don't do that. I'm really big on the best four teams... If you think Florida State's one of the best teams with Tate Rodemaker, then that's no problem. But I'm just not big on, they're undefeated so we have to put 'em in.

Ryan Day definitely has a Michigan problem

He definitely has a Michigan problem... Ohio State lived in Michigan's head for a number of years... and Jim Harbaugh, to his credit... has completely turned this thing around. If I were Ryan Day... I would suggest maybe looking at finding more Ohio guys that qualified to be on the roster to make them appreciate what this game really means.

Jayden Daniels should win the Heisman Trophy

I have Jayden Daniels winning... He has been by far, when you think of a Heisman winner and you watch his plays, that's the guy you think of. In my opinion, it should go to the most dynamic playmaker and that player has been Jayden Daniels up to this point.

Removing divisions from the Big 10 is a mistake that will diminish the importance of its premier rivalries

What's bad specifically for me in the Big 10 as you lose the divisions... Imagine Ohio State, Michigan this Saturday playing in the Big 10 championship. I think that wrinkle to me is gonna be odd and gonna take some time to get used to. Michigan deserves credit. They just beat Ohio State. They shouldn't have to a week later now go have to play them again.

Al Michaels hears the social media criticism and thinks it is bullshit

Al hears it. He disagrees with it... Social media is using those two examples [Jacksonville playoff game and Denver game] to just say Al Michaels hates Thursday night, Al Michaels has lost it... He hears the noise, I don't think he's like 'I'll show them'. He has more of an f-you attitude about it. He thinks it's a bunch of bullshit.

Dak Prescott is currently playing the best football of his entire career

You could argue that Dak's playing the best that he has in his career. And number two, Mike McCarthy calling plays. I think there's a rhythm right now. They have balance. They can run, they can throw. The defense with Dan Quinn right now... there's a lot there to like.

Justin Tucker might be washed

Justin Tucker just missed a easy kick. He might be, is he washed? Washed? He might be washed. Yeah. He's on washed watch. He might, he might be washed.

The Vikings will be in the division race if they beat the Bears on Monday Night Football

The Vikings also have a very real chance if they beat the Bears on Monday Night Football, the Vikings could be in the discussion for the Division. I mean, they still have to play the Lions twice.

Jordan Love might actually be good

Jordan Love might actually be good. And it's starting to scare me. He might actually be good. And this is the difference between dysfunctional franchises and functional franchises like the Green Bay Packers... I know Packers fans can't use this against me. I think Jordan Love might be good.

The Packers will probably get to 9 or 10 wins and make the playoffs

The Packers are gonna probably get to nine or 10 wins. And I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to kill myself... I think Jordan Love might be good... they still have the Giants, the Bucs and the Panthers on their schedule.

Ron Rivera made a side deal to finish the season while Eric Bieniemy acts as the de facto head coach

My theory is Ron Rivera's gonna take over the defense. He's gonna retire at the end of the season. He made a side deal with Josh Harris being like, please don't fire me. I'm gonna stick around. I'm gonna let Eric Bieniemy run the show. He's gonna act like the head coach... He's gonna get a shot to prove himself and then clean house after the season's over.

The Cowboys could win the Super Bowl

I I think the Cowboys could win the Super Bowl. Yeah, definitely. Without a doubt... Cowboys could a hundred percent win the Super Bowl. I'm not downplaying that at all. I still think the 49ers are better. I think the Eagles are better. But depending how on how it all shakes out. The Cowboys are, they're in that conversation.

Brock Purdy is now a gunslinger

Is Brock Purdy now a gunslinger? Ooh. Has he transitioned from being a game manager? A guy that won't lose you a game to like, you know, then he was a system quarterback for a little bit and then he went and got so much moxie that I think he might be part gunslinger.

I am officially writing off Geno Smith

I will absolutely write Geno [Smith] off. I'm gonna take the Cowboys on Thursday night when they're at home against Seahawks. I think the Seahawks are in deep, deep trouble... Geno does not look right.

Aaron Rodgers held the Jets hostage by suggesting a return this season

I'm starting to just toss around the idea that [Aaron Rodgers] saying that he's going to come back this year might've hurt the Jets a little bit in the fact that they didn't go out and try to get another quarterback... Did Aaron Rodgers hold you guys hostage this year?

The Dolphins will be 11-3 heading into Christmas

Listen, [the Dolphins] have a chance to really get in a groove here. They've Commanders, Titans, Jets. Ooh, there, there's a very good chance they're 11 and three heading into Christmas.

The AFC South is the future conference of quarterbacks

I'm willing to say that the AFC South, that is the Future Conference of quarterbacks. The Young Guns... Stroud and Lawrence. This game was awesome... I'm very excited to watch the Jags and the Texans play for the next 30 years.

Shane Steichen is the Coach of the Year

The Colts getting to nine, possibly 10 wins, which is crazy. This is Shane Steichen, coach of the year. Yeah. Him, coach of the year.

The Falcons will win the NFC South

This is where the Falcons are gonna maybe string off a couple wins and, and take the NFC South. They're the king turd that's on top. And I think that they've got the best layout for, for holding onto that until the playoffs.

I don't want Caleb Williams on the Patriots

I don't want Caleb Williams. I'll say it right now. Really? Oh, oh, fingernails. Was it the crying? It's the crying thing. I, I have no problem with the fingernails, but I don't, I don't really have a problem with the crying. I just don't know. I feel like there's just a lot of character issues.

The Panthers won't win another game

I don't think the Panthers are gonna win a game again... at Buccaneers: loss. at Saints: loss. Falcons: loss. Packers: loss. at Jaguars: loss. Probably Buccaneers again.

The Bills and Texans will both make the playoffs as wild card teams

[Asked who makes the playoffs]: Texans, Bills. I would like to see CJ Stroud or Josh Allen as the seventh seed... I've taken the Dolphins off Fraud watch... [but] I'm high on the Dolphins.

Rashee Rice will emerge as the primary receiver for the Chiefs

This is the old visualization trick... it's late December. And Aaron Andrews is like, talk to me about how these young receivers have come along. And then they show a highlighter Rashee Rice just like ripping people up. And that's exactly what's gonna happen.

The Eagles are lucky, but they make their own luck

They're lucky, but they're lucky all the time. Right. Which means that they're doing things to make themselves lucky. And they, which is such a good trait to have for a team. Right?

Sean McDermott has the coaching yips

Sean McDermott, it's, he, he's, I honestly think he has like the coaching yips right now... [He's] making no sense. And then they go and they kneel it and they play chicken shit football for overtime.