Takes

It is fair to laugh at the President when they fall because walking is a basic human skill

Walking is one of the first things we learned to do. Someone's like, would you make fun of your grandmother if she fell? I was like, well my grandmother's dead and she's not the president. You kind of sign up to get made fun of by becoming president when you fall.

Dan Wolken had the worst take of the year for laughing at LSU's hire of Ed Orgeron

Dan Wolken... tweeted in 2017: yesterday a college football coaches agent called me. He said LSU hired Ed Orgeron. We laughed for a few minutes. So good job, Dan that turned out to be the worst take ever. Who's laughing now bitch? Haha.

Tom Brady's move to Tampa Bay is the only reason Rob Gronkowski returned from retirement

I think that the workload the Patriots wanted [Gronk] to do was higher than something at Tampa is going to have him do... if Tom Brady had stuck around in New England Rob Gronkowski probably still be retired.

Bill Simmons 'spiked the football' too early on the 2018-19 Celtics.

Attacking that little extra part at the end, [Bill Simmons said] 'they're going to be up 30 points in a lot of them.' In a lot of them. Yeah, that's just spiking the football when you haven't even scored yet.

I'd like to thank my family for believing in me while winning 'Blake of the Year' despite the haters.

First off, I'd like to thank my family for believing me this whole time. Obviously, there's been a lot of ups and downs and a lot of naysayers, a lot of haters, but somehow we made it here. I don't know, man. I'm at a loss for words.

Billionaires should pay for their own stadiums

It's unpopular to say it, but I think that billionaires should pay for their own fucking stadiums too, Bill [Simmons].

Guy Fieri's food is the best food I've ever had

I'm a big Guy Fieri guy, so I feel like I can say this. The food was phenomenal. Best food I've ever had.

Media members and sports figures should physically fight to settle disputes

I think the media and sports figures should actually physically fight. That feels like something that would happen in maybe Argentina where a ref screws up and they're like, 'oh, we're going to kill you.' I'd like to see more accountability.

Stephen A. Smith would have successfully prosecuted O.J. Simpson

I actually don't disagree with Stephen A. Smith here... Because I actually do think he would have been able to put O.J. Simpson in jail. He is so exhausting as an arguer, as a person, that I think that the jury would have just said, 'you know what, just have Stephen A. Smith stop talking and we'll put [Simpson] in jail.'

The 'Car Stick' is a necessary invention for everyone who drops items between car seats

Simple, simple invention. Everyone needs it. Just a little skinny stick that you can, like, it, like, would go stick up from the side of your car. And when shit gets stuck in between your seats, just grab the stick and it fishes it right out of there.