Justin Herbert is to blame for the pick-six because he should have known Gerald Everett was gassed

I'm gonna blame Justin Herbert for that pick-six and not [Gerald] Everett, because he should have known that Everett was tired and asking out of the game and he should have gone to somebody else. If Justin Herbert's the guy that he's supposed to be... then he needs to be able to make the decision to go somewhere else with that ball and not to your receiver who's puking all over himself.

Brandon Staley has 'blue-pilled' himself into becoming a conservative coach

It's almost like Brandon Staley flew too close to the sun last year. And you know how in the Matrix you get red-pilled or you get blue-pilled? ...Brandon Staley blue-pilled himself and he's going back to being just like a normal conservative coach. Punting on fourth and short, fourth and third. I don't like that. I like Brandon Staley a little crazy.

Jeff Bezos hates fat people, poor people, and people with weak bladders

I'm pretty confident in saying Jeff Bezos hates fat people. He hates poor people. It's people who have like weak bladders, he hates. There's a lot of people that Jeff Bezos finds disgusting. That's a fact.

Technically Vanny Woodhead does not exist and is legally destroyed

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of, I couldn't, I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it. No, one [owns it]. The, it's technically like scrap. It's a ghost car. It just hasn't been scrapped.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.