We are the first of the suckers on Top Shot, but we can still get rich.

I think we're the first of the suckers. So sometimes we can get in and we'll be a little bit sucker, we'll be less suckery than the majority of people, but we're still like the first sucker. I think we can still get rich off this, though, because I bought the most pristine mint condition gift of Alex Caruso blocking James Harden.

I'm going to corner the market on Lou Dort Top Shots and get rich when he wins MVP

My entire investment strategy is to corner the market on Lou Dort. Okay. So I'm putting everyone in the Dortcher chamber. We're going to buy all the L...

If a guy has cauliflower ears, stay far away from him.

That's the oldest rule in the book. If a guy has cauliflower ears, stay far away.

I lied about destroying Vanny Woodhead; I have been keeping it for years

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of... I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it... I was like, every time it was an excuse I used to not follow through with chopping it up.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.