Big Ben is going to play much better now that he is on the injury report

It's irrelevant to the fact that [Ben Roethlisberger] is going to play way better this week. And now that he's on the injury report... he needs to have some adversity.

There is no difference between Jameis Winston and Carson Wentz

What is the difference between Jameis [Winston] and Carson Wentz? There's not a lot at this point. They both are very, very funny when they're trying to make plays... Carson Wentz is like Elmer Fudd where he's kind of the butt of the joke. He's still like out there trying to make things happen, but six times a game, he fires a shotgun and it backfires into his face.

Aaron Rodgers' hair looks tacky and gross

I hate him. He looks tacky and gross with his hair. His hair looks terrible... this hair is gross. He looks gross. He's tacky.

I lied about destroying Vanny Woodhead; I have been keeping it for years

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of... I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it... I was like, every time it was an excuse I used to not follow through with chopping it up.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.