I'm taking the Packers, Cowboys, and Broncos in a can't-lose parlay for Week 17

My can't lose parlay this week is the Green Bay Packers, the Dallas Cowboys, and the Denver Broncos.

The Seahawks will beat the 49ers on Sunday Night Football

I feel like I don't have faith in either of those teams. But that just feels like a Seahawks win. You close your eyes and you just see it's probably drizzling.

The Cowboys are an absolute joke and worse than a fraud

The Cowboys are a joke. They are an absolute joke... Worse than a fraud. Because a fraud would imply that they are good but fraudulent. A joke, I don't even want to fucking spend time with them.

Shaving your head and growing a beard is the only move for balding men

Shave it and grow a beard... my thing was, which I held onto it for a while... and I finally got... I found this barber... He goes 'Dude you need to just shave your fucking head.' That's, yeah, I think you're right dude. It's tough. I shave it. It was just, you know, bullied me into shaving my head.

I’m officially retiring from the NFL unless someone offers me a two-year, $15 million contract

I quietly, I didn't tell anybody I retired. Just didn't tell anyone... I guess you guys are kind of the first to hear it publicly... I've officially retired... [unless] two for 15 million. I'd be there in a heartbeat.

I threw between 3 and 8 touchdowns during Packers OTAs

I also got a new job. Yep. And green bay I threw and give or take four touchdown passes during the OTAs. So have you ever take, three to eight? You pick a number of all right. Somewhere in there under 10.