I am going to make pooping your pants as an adult socially acceptable

None of it comes even close to what I'm trying to accomplish when it comes to making pooping your pants as an adult not something to be ashamed of. I'm a 31-year-old man. I make mistakes just like you... If this happens to you, don't be ashamed. I'm here for you. I want to give a voice to the voiceless, the grown adults out there.

Lionel Messi is afraid of killing everyone in Argentina because he chokes so much

Messi's afraid of killing everybody in Argentina because he chokes so much. So he's doing the right thing and dropping out. And I'd like to see players in the U.S. start to drop out for the right reasons instead of the wrong ones.

Lionel Messi lacks the clutch gene and is likely a relative of Nazi Josef Mengele

I think that Messi might be a relative of a Nazi because a lot of them went to Argentina after the war to try to escape. Now, there was a doctor [Josef Mengele]... He was unable to uncover the clutch gene and isolate it. And that's why, you know, like Hitler, if he had had the clutch gene, he probably wouldn't have choked... Mingel moved to South America, had sex with an Argentinian. A few years later you get [Messi].

Conor McGregor likely fought on an existing injury and aggravated it during the fight

I think it was probably hurt and probably aggravated it during the fight. Now, would it shock me to know that Conor McGregor tore his ACL in training and then he just pretended that it wasn't hurt? No, that wouldn't surprise me either. But I think it was probably something wrong with it and when he went out there to try to fight on it immediately, just it told him, 'no, you can't do this.'

England was the much better team, but Erling Haaland is a one-man squad for Norway

England was a much, much better team. But... that guy that didn't pass the ball to Erling Haaland, give me a break. Haaland, you are a one man team and that's okay.

The World Cup being expanded to 64 teams is just a monetization play by Gianni Infantino

He wanted to turn it into American sports and he wanted to use this World Cup to learn how we're able to monetize every single facet of our sports. And the fact that it was somebody whispered like, 'Hey, you know, the NCAA tournament they used to do 64, everybody loved that bracket.' He thought about that and he was like, 'that's a great idea. I think I will, I'll try to do that.'