Takes

Every MLB team should be required to play a series in Mexico City

Every team should have to play like a series in Mexico City because it was awesome... The Giants and Padres played in Mexico City, which is 2000 feet higher than Denver. And on Saturday it was like a softball game. There were 11 home runs.

The Pittsburgh Pirates are actually a really good baseball team

Just tip of the cap to the Pittsburgh Pirates. Yeah. With the Sacramento Kings doing that nba, they've been made fun of. They've been bad. The pirates have been awful. And they're... the pirates are really good. The Pittsburgh Pirates.

The MLB pitch clock makes fans feel rushed and ruins the 'fuck around' time at the stadium

I fucking hate the pitch clock... because I sit down there... I'm trying to chit chat, socialize like how I usually do... I feel like I'm rushed at a table, at a restaurant that's trying to flip table. I want there to be more fuck around time. So if I get food, I don't miss anything.

The Cubs are 'sneaky' might make the playoffs this year

I also put a future on the Cubs at a hundred to one, but whatever. I think they're gonna... no, no. All right. Nevermind. That was a, I've talked myself into the Cubs being scrappy enough to make the playoffs. They're gonna be sneaky... I've now upgraded them to Sneaky might make the playoffs.

Christian Yelich is on pace to hit zero home runs this year

Christian Yelich is on pace to hit zero home runs this year. Love to hear it. Fraud. No power in that guy.

The new MLB rules have made baseball watchable again

Overall, I think that what they've done is they've turned baseball into a game that more people will Congrats. We did it. We made baseball watchable again.

The San Diego Padres will win the World Series

My You wanna just say who our World Series champion is? Yes. San Diego Padres.

The Tampa Bay Rays will win the World Series

You know what? I'll say it. This is the year. I think the Tampa Bay Rays are gonna win it all. They've been knocking at the door where like they'll have a couple years where their advanced analytics will always work... I think they're coming back up this year.

I am fading the Oakland A's every single game this year

I think I'm gonna fade the As. Okay. All year long. So it's gonna be a combo, a parlay be of the under and taking the as. I think it's either to lose money line or, or lose by one and a half. I like it runs. I like it. I feel like the A's are gonna win 42 games this year. Ooh. Maybe less.

Alex Rodriguez never earned his pinstripes

Did A-Rod earn pinstripes? Oh no. Not even for 2009. No. He got all his numbers. All his stats came in like blowout games.

Giancarlo Stanton has not lived up to being a Yankee

What about Giancarlo? Does he have his pinstripes? Stanton? No. He plays shitty. He's never lived up to it. He never lived up to that concept.

Brett Gardner earned his pinstripes through hustle

Brett Gardner... everyone's like 'Brett Gardner pinstripes.' Like that's just because he hustles, he plays the right way. Yeah, definitely pinstripes. He earned them.

The St. Louis Cardinals lost America the World Baseball Classic

The St. Louis Cardinals have lost America. I mean, Paul Goldschmidt just hitting into a double play when we had a little rally going... if we're doing the blame, I think I'd start with those guys. Get some hits in some big moments and maybe we can be sitting here bragging about the US being the best in baseball.

The Los Angeles Angels were the biggest losers of the World Baseball Classic

I felt really the big loser of tonight was the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim because... that last at-bat... Showhey Ohtani striking out Mike Trout... it was an electric atmosphere.

MLB should play 140 games and hold the WBC every year

Why don't they play 140 games, Major League Baseball season, and then we can have a World Baseball Classic every year and you can expand the tournament. I'd be down for that. That would be cool.

Stan Musial invented the fist bump

I learned something the other day. I don't know if you guys heard this. Do you guys know who invented the fist bump? Stan Musial invented the fist bump. How crazy is that?

Edwin Diaz's injury is the most Mets thing to ever happen

This is the most Mets thing to ever happen... Edwin Diaz is gonna go play in the World Baseball Classic. Oh shit. He's probably gonna tear his patella tendon celebrating after a win. Right. When he is just jumping up in the air and then he's not gonna be able to pitch for the next 12 months.

Combined no-hitters are fake and shouldn't count the same as a single-pitcher no-hitter

There are so many no-hitter. Fake ass, no-hitter mouth. No. I think it's actually history is going to look... in college baseball, it's every single day I see something else for a combined no-hitter. Well, because it's so much easier to get a combined no-hitter. That's fake. ... It doesn't feel the same. Zero hits is not the same as no hits.

MLB pitch velocity will decrease by 0.02 mph this year due to the new shot clock rules

This guy Corky knows his shit. He is projecting right now an average decrease in pitch velocity this year of 0.02 miles per hour. Whoa. Because the new shot clock rules. So yeah, keep that in the back pocket. We're gonna see slower fastballs this year.

Keith Hernandez has toxoplasmosis from his cat, which is why he's messing up player names

Keith Hernandez has toxoplasmosis from living with his cat. Oh. That's why he's messing up names. But I mean, is it really a mess up? Because Chaz Chisholm [Jazz Chisholm] is just a Hall of fame name.

Robot umpires will have unintended consequences like calling strikes on balls in the dirt

I don't want robot umps. No. Because I think there's gonna be a lot of unintended consequences with that... there are a lot of breaking balls that'll be in the dirt that'll clip the bottom of the strike zone technically. They'd have to figure out a better way to do it. I don't want robots.

Bunting to break up a no-hitter in the World Series is acceptable

If it's like seventh, eighth inning, I don't know... but in like a World Series playoff game... you kind of have to. It's the World Series. Anytime it's a playoff game. It's when it's like 10 nothing and a guy's bunting, it's like, what are you doing right then? But in that [World Series] situation, you have to.

Catchers are the biggest psychos in baseball because they stop projectiles for three hours

I think there's different tiers of it... but catchers, yeah, they're crazy. Who would want to crouch for three hours every day? Just stopping projectiles. Getting hit with bats and foul tips and all kinds of things. You guys are crazy. I wouldn't wanna do that. Any catcher in the league is a different brand of psycho.

Christian Yelich looks like Jackson Mahomes

I got a vacation take. Taking a thought of over vacation. Okay. Christian Yelich. Looks like Jackson Mahomes.

The Baseball Hall of Fame is a joke because Barry Bonds is not in it

And Barry [Bonds] is not on there? This whole thing is a joke. The best player of all time is not in the fucking Hall of Fame. It's just funny that baseball writers take themselves so seriously. We just need all these guys to die and then maybe we can get the real players in the Hall of Fame.

Jonathan Loaisiga is the toughest pitcher to face in MLB right now

Toughest guy I think to face is probably Loaisiga from the Yankees. That is elite stuff. I mean, he's, he's really, really good.

The New York Yankees were given juiced baseballs for Aaron Judge's home run chase

A report came out saying that the Yankees were beneficiaries of having juice balls all last year. The Yankees were getting juice balls. Asterisks on his home run record, on his AL home run record. I mean, Jake, how can you discount that? They were purposely giving the best balls in baseball to the New York Yankees last year.

Lance McCullers Jr. was tipping his pitches against the Phillies

Lance McCullers was tipping all of his pitches tonight. And you saw it from the start. Like Bryce [Harper], when he went yard, he told everybody in the Phillies dugout, he's like, This guy's tipping his pitches. A bunch of stuff went viral online where you could see like the high leg kick. You could see the back leg being straight and the Phillies hit all their home runs off sinkers curves, changeups things like that.

The Phillies will sweep their three home games and win the World Series without returning to Houston

I love my guys. We're gonna win the next three games. We won't even go back to Houston. ... We're gonna score so many runs this week.

Kyle Schwarber brought leadership to the Phillies similar to Darren Daulton

Dave Dombrowski said something the other day about Kyle Schwarber and he said Kyle Schwarber, when he walked in that clubhouse reminded me when he traded for Darren Daulton when he was with the Marlins in 97... He said, when Darren Daulton walked in that room after getting a trade, he said, we had a leader. And I think Kyle Schwarber has, and he compared Kyle Schwarber to Darren.

The Phillies will beat the Astros in seven games in the World Series

I'm gonna pick the Phillies to win it in seven on the road in Houston... as hot as they are now and what happened against the Braves and how they handled San Diego the way they did... Phillies believe they can beat anybody. Yeah. In this series, man, it's the perfect fit.

I am picking the Phillies to win the World Series in seven games

I'm just gonna, I'm gonna say Phillies in seven as well because that's what my heart wants and if they Astros sweep 'em, I wouldn't be shy. Like that's you are that good? Whatever. That's fine. Let's just, we'll stay the course of Phillies in seven.

The Padres made a huge mistake not bringing in Josh Hader to face Bryce Harper in the NLCS

And I mean, Harper the biggest at bat of his entire career... They don't bring in Josh Hader to face Harper, which I think was a huge mistake even though Suarez had pitched extremely well. It's like you have the best left-handed guy ready in the bullpen and he's on fire.

The Yankees are a bad franchise

Congratulations the Red Sox, the Phillies, the Cubs and the Nationals have all gone to the World Series and the Yankees have not... That's a bad franchise. No hiding from it. It's a bad franchise.

The MLB Division Series is too short and should be seven games

I think the division series is too short though. Ooh, I don't understand. I don't understand why you play 162 and then it's gotta be five games. I think the, the better team would win out more often in a seven game series.

Yordan Alvarez is the best hitter I have ever had to scout

We've faced Yordan [Alvarez] this year. He was, he's the best hitter I've ever had to advance scout. Whoa. I'm talking about covering all the pitches, hitting lefties, everything. He's the best hitter I've ever had to had to scout.

The Astros should start cheating again to beat the Yankees in the ALCS

If I'm the Astros, I start cheating again. Like I want, I want them to just beat the fuck outta the Yankees and then to have the Yankees just looking around like what the, what the hell just happened to us? I want spin rates to be off the chart this series.

The Dodgers' 2020 World Series title doesn't count

The Dodgers have not won anything. We can We agree The bubble, the bubble championship didn't, didn't count.

The Phillies are the wildcard team getting hot at the right time

It's like the wildcard team that's getting hot right at the right time. Everyone seems loose. They're having fun. [Kyle] Schwarber is a fucking beast.

Aaron Judge will hit his 62nd home run tonight

He's hitting it tonight by the way. Sixty-two. I wanna get hurt. Oh my.

Yankee fans only care about what players do in the postseason to earn their pinstripes

You gotta do it in the playoffs. At least now you have to do it in the playoffs. Because there's this level of expectations that come with playing for the Yankees... Yankee fans pay attention to what you do in the postseason. They can pretty much care less [about the regular season].

Wade Boggs and Tony Gwynn might not have had long careers in today's analytics-driven MLB

Man, you just go through the Hall of Fame and just think of how many players because of Launch Angle and exit velocity probably would've never had a long career. Wade Boggs, Tony Gwynn... The job was to get a hit and get on base.

New York is a bad sports town because Yankees fans celebrate team records too much

This is embarrassing that [Yankees fans] are celebrating this hard when they just went down from four to three in the bottom of the ninth. Are the Yankees a bad sports town? Yes... I just don't get all the hoopla around it... Whatever, it's a team record. He's going for a team record.

Fans who return historic baseballs for little reward are likely getting paid secretly

I have a take. I think that [MLB teams] are paying these guys a lot, but they don't make it public how much they're giving them because they don't wanna raise the price for future type memorabilia. All those times you're like, oh, this person's stupid for just taking that much... I think they're getting paid off behind the scenes.

Aaron Judge will break the AL home run record in the final two weeks of the season

Aaron Judge, two more home runs today. He's at 59, two shy of Roger Maris. These final two weeks got to be locked in. Even if you're not a Yankee fan, it's history. 61 home runs the Yankee record and the non-steroid record.

The Mets are going to win the World Series

Now it's like, they're going to win. They're going to win the championship. After that [Timmy Trumpet performance], I was like, the Mets are going to win the championship.

The Mets will lose a deciding playoff game during a live Timmy Trumpet performance

I'm seeing a future where in like the second round of the playoffs and in the NLCS they lose the deciding game on a Timmy Trumpet performance... that would be the optimal end for their season.

Albert Pujols' late-career home run surge is suspicious and 'not normal'

Albert Pujols, 42 years old. July 4th he was hitting .189. And since then he leads the league in batting average and has like 11 homers. That's totally normal... Why does Sam Querrey not do fucking drugs before he retires? He should have done some fucking Winstrol.

Daniel Vogelbach will have a massive moment in late October for the Mets

That team, [Daniel] Vogelbach has just the perfect doing something huge in late October moment. Oh yeah, he's written for it... He is a hero in waiting. Like everyone knows that, buy stock in Vogelbach right now. He will have a big moment. And everyone who hasn't been watching baseball be like, who's this fat guy? This is incredible.

MLB should cover up steroid use for players who are great for the game

David Ortiz was like, they, they just shouldn't suspend him because he's so good at baseball. And he is a face of the game... That's actually that's that makes more sense than what his own dad is doing. David Ortiz is right. It's like, if you're awesome at baseball, they should just cover it up.