Takes

Nobody cares about the NBA All-Star Game

NBA All Star Game. Do not care. Do not care at all. Fun to complain about, but it's just, it's the do not care at all. No one cares.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT of basketball, shoes, and coolness

And it's Michael Jordan. Easy. Okay. Easy pick. Mike, mj, the goat. He's the goat in basketball. He's the goat in shoes. He's the goat in coolness. He's the goat.

LeBron James is on the Mt. Rushmore of GOATs

We're going with LeBron James... I like our list. It's a team effort. I value, I value my teammates picks.

Getting pissed off that NBA refs don't call carrying anymore is a sign that you have become your father.

Getting actually pissed off during a basketball game that they don't call carrying anymore. Calling players doing like pointing at the TV and saying, 'That's a carry.' That was a moment for me where it's like, I am my dad at this point.

Kobe Bryant's 'Black Mamba' is one of the greatest athlete nicknames of all time

We are going to go with, may he rest in peace, the black Mamba... it's probably the greatest nickname of all time because it just become, his has become his name.

Magic Johnson is the greatest nickname in sports history

I think it's probably the greatest nickname of all time because it just becomes his name. It is Magic Johnson. There is no one better than Magic Johnson. Irvin Johnson becoming Magic. I mean, it's just synonymous.

Michael Jordan's competitive drive is the athlete trait I wish I had most

I'll start with Michael Jordan's competitive drive. That will be my number one.

Dennis Rodman is a top pick to storm Area 51 because of his diplomatic experience in North Korea

My first pick, I'll just take Dennis Rodman because he went to North Korea. He can figure out diplomatic stuff. He will be able to talk to the aliens.

Sam Cassell would be the perfect athlete to storm Area 51 because the aliens would think he's one of them

My second one, I guess I'll go with Sam Cassell. Just because, you know, maybe if there is any type of, like, maybe these guys are like us, they'll see Sam Cassell and be like, all right, that's an ally.

Dwight Howard is the ultimate locker room cancer because he ruins every team he joins

dwight howard is my number one in like the world to me he is everywhere he goes he is terrible... he's been with all those teams. He's ruined all of those teams. I honestly think if you put him on your team, you're just basically... trying to destroy your team from within.

Latrell Sprewell is a top-tier locker room cancer because he choked his coach

My number three, I will go with Latrell Sprewell. Choked his coach. Probably not good for locker room morale.

Gilbert Arenas is one of the biggest locker room cancers ever because he pulled a gun on a teammate

I'm going to go with Gilbert Arenas. People forget he pulled a gun on his teammate. That's pretty bad, I would think.

The Michael Jordan statue is the most iconic sports statue in the world

I'm going to MJ's statue, iconic statue. It's a logo that everyone, you know, it's basically the coolest logo in the world. That's the number one sports statue in the world in my mind.

Colangelo's burner accounts are the weirdest NBA storyline of the season

I still got to go with a general manager in the NBA getting fired for someone in his family, possibly him, burner tweeting his own players. Collar gate.

J.R. Smith throwing soup at Damon Jones is a weirder storyline than him forgetting the score in the Finals

J.R. Smith for getting the score in the finals is less crazy than J.R. Smith throwing a bowl of soup at an assistant coach in anger. [Big Cat: J.R. Smith throwing a bowl of soup at Damon Jones... that's my number one.]

Markelle Fultz forgetting how to shoot a basketball is one of the craziest stories in NBA history

Markelle Fultz just forgetting how to shoot a basketball... I feel like now because he seems like he's going to be okay, we've kind of lost how crazy that was. He doesn't play for the majority of the season because he just forgot how to shoot.

The Kawhi Leonard and Spurs 'injury management' saga is one of the weirdest stories of the season

Kawhi Leonard is the next weirdest storyline. He spent large chunks of time away from the team... Tony Parker comes out and says, I had the same injury, but a million times worse... Spurs were not putting him on the injury report as being hurt. They said, return from injury management.

LeBron James playing all 82 games at age 33 is highly suspicious

LeBron James, 33 years old, 15 years in the league, played all 82 games. Seems like his durability's going up at 33. Most athletes, their durability goes down. [Implying HGH use].

The NBA is rigged and a deep dive would reveal several fixed outcomes

My number four [30 for 30]... was just the NBA being rigged. I would like a whole deep dive. [I'd like to know] the frozen envelope. I'd like to know if [David] Stern actually suspended MJ for gambling... LeBron winning his first ring. I'd like to know that Lakers-Kings game [with Tim Donaghy].

The Detroit Pistons 90s horse logo jersey is one of the worst ever

My number one was the Pistons throwback. Remember when the Pistons changed their logo in the 90s? The green and yellow and red horse. The worst jersey criteria is when the original jersey was great and the original logo was great. They're like, we're just going to make everything weird colors.

Madison Square Garden is the best place to play in the NBA

My number one pick, my favorite city always to visit is New York. The Garden is one of the most fun places to play. Just the energy, even when they're not as good or even if they have more hype. It's always a good crowd, great city.

Toronto is a premier NBA city because it is culturally diverse and a great tax city to play in

Number three, I'm going Toronto. North of the border. Toronto's great, culturally diverse country. Solid fans, great tax city to play in. Also Drake, you could be friends with Drake.

Boston is a top-four NBA city to visit and play in

I'll tell you, I went with Boston as number four. Great call. I think definitely half of me [loves it]. I mean, half of me loves it. The other half, it's hit and miss. It depends on who I run into.

Portland is the #1 NBA city because the fans have nothing else to do except hike and watch basketball

I actually, along those same lines, I went Portland. Especially with the old Jailblazers. Those guys used to have a real good time out there. I think Portland has some of the best fans... That's because they're homeless, so they don't have anywhere else to go. No one in Portland has a job. They move around from bookstore to food truck to Trailblazers games.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT

Michael Jordan. The GOAT.

Bill Russell is better than LeBron James

Hank you actually had speaking of hot takes hank didn't you say bill russell was better than lebron? yeah that's right... I'm not ruling [Russell beating LeBron one-on-one] out by any means.

UConn women's basketball could beat a WNBA team

Could UConn women's basketball beat a WNBA team? Probably. I'm actually serious. I think they could.

The NBA players in the 80s were more authentic because they weren't friends and didn't go on 'banana boats' together

I always like when people compare the NBA today to the 80s when guys weren't friends. They were not friends. People forget that Magic and LeBron, they didn't go on—I mean, Magic and Larry Bird, they didn't go on banana boats together. It was a different era.

LeBron James is the greatest of all time

LeBron James, greatest of all time. 23.