Takes

NBA dads are correct that traveling is no longer called in the league

My cool throne is dads. Because we're all in agreement now that traveling is no longer called in the NBA. So, dads, you were right. They don't call it anymore. It was a gather step, bro. No, it was five steps... There were three gather steps, and then there were two more steps.

The Lakers will miss the NBA playoffs this season

The Los Angeles Lakers, if the playoffs started today, would not be in it. They'll be three games out after tonight's loss to the Hawks... LeBron [James] out of my arm. I don't want to miss the playoffs. Rondo hit the game winner, and it was like, well, problem solved. The Lakers are okay. And then they're out of the playoffs right now.

The Celtics should trade whatever it takes to get Anthony Davis in his prime

If you can get a player like Anthony Davis in his prime, you do whatever it takes to get him. It's the exact same thing as the Khalil Mack situation. I don't want them to blow the whole thing up, but the reality is that they are most likely going to try and blow the whole thing up.

LeBron James screwed over the Lakers by trying to tamper for Anthony Davis

LeBron screwed the Lakers. LeBron screwed the Lakers... This was like the most blatant act of tampering of all time... And now everyone hates him on the Lakers. And it's hilarious.

The Pelicans' refusal to trade Anthony Davis was a battle of owners reasserting power over players

The ownership decided this is where it stops. This is where it all stops. It was a battle of millionaires versus people of wealth. And the people of wealth said, you know what? We care more about football than we do about the NBA.

LeBron James will fake an injury down the stretch to avoid the embarrassment of missing the playoffs

I'm predicting right now LeBron will have some kind of injury coming down the stretch... There's no way LeBron James is going to play the rest of the season and miss the playoffs. Like, willingly do that.

The Sixers are 'all in' on winning a championship this year

The Sixers are all in. They traded Markelle Fultz. They traded for Tobias Harris. They're all in. They're trying to win a championship this year.

Orlando Magic GM John Hammond is a worse GM than Hitler

Worst GM in any sports history, including Hitler. Straight facts. Spot the lie.

The Anthony Davis trade to the Lakers is basically done because LaVar Ball is talking again

LeVar comes out of the rock he was under, silent for the last six months, now saying he wants Lonzo to go to Phoenix... that just tells me the trade's been done because LeVar knows he no longer has to worry about LeBron paying him his hush money.

The Knicks traded Porzingis for cap space they will definitely fail to use

The Knicks traded Kristaps to the Mavs... Basically, a cap space move... they are now going to try to go all in on Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, name any free agent, and the Knicks will be rumored to get them. And they won't get them because James Dolan is still the owner.

LeBron James clearly tampered with Anthony Davis

Anthony Davis and LeBron James had dinner together. Wouldn't that seem kind of perfect that they waited about a month after their dinner for Anthony Davis to demand a trade? ... LeBron James probably doesn't have to pay an agent's fee. He probably owns part of Clutch Sports. And guess what? Anthony Davis is going to go to the Los Angeles Lakers... LeBron James completely tampered here.

I will not view the Lakers with Anthony Davis as a real team

I'm going to say something right now. It's bullshit, and I will not let it stand... I will not view the Los Angeles Lakers with Anthony Davis as a real team. Asterix on all of it.

You have to be a world-class dumbass not to tamper in the NBA

I would say that you'd have to be a world-class dumbass not to tamper in the NBA. If you're not tampering, you are dumber than a pile of rocks.

The Brooklyn Nets are improved and will make the playoffs

An okay team, but last year they had a few issues, is the Brooklyn Nets. I think they've improved a lot this year. And if they keep doing well, they should be able to make the playoffs.

LeBron James wants to reunion with Kyrie Irving on the Lakers

LeBron Instagram storied a song called Rewind and said, 'this is that shit, Kyrie Irving.' ... LeBron James wanted to go back in time, press that rewind button, and have Kyrie on his team.

Coach K will leave Duke to coach LeBron James and Kyrie Irving in the NBA

I'm going to go pro, do the old Pete Carroll, bounce, and then go coach LeBron and Kyrie. I like that.

Kawhi Leonard's house purchase in San Diego means he is going to the Clippers or Lakers

Kawhi Leonard has just bought a house for $13.3 million in Los Angeles... San Diego area. It seems like an awfully convenient time for him to do that.

I successfully recruited Carmelo Anthony to the Chicago Bulls

It took five years, but I have gotten Carmelo Anthony to the Chicago Bulls. Congratulations. Thank you. We're going to wave him, and he's never going to play for the Bulls. But I did recruit him in the summer of 2014... last laugh, me.

Modern NBA players are too friendly because they all grew up together in AAU and camps

Back in my day, like, everybody was mean, dude... I think that times evolve times change... if I was playing in those last five years, I can look and see that there were 30 guys who've been to my camp that are in the NBA. They were little kids in my camp. So why wouldn't we be friends, right? ... we didn't grow up on the same AAU team in people's basketball camp.

The best way to manage LeBron James is to challenge him to set picks and focus on team-oriented tasks

You have to challenge LeBron, right? ... finding little things in the game that could be challenging to LeBron that would ultimately dictate a better outcome... Can you set five incredible picks to get somebody open? Can you set a backdoor screen? Things off the ball that allows his teammates to like – so he's in the play but not in the play but still affecting the play.

Kyrie Irving loses his man card for apologizing to LeBron James

Taking [Kyrie Irving's] man card because he apologized. He apologized to LeBron... and then he also told the press all about it and made sure that it was a big deal about how he called and apologized.

Jimmy Butler will go 'alpha' and have over 30.5 combined points, rebounds, and assists vs the Timberwolves.

I got a pick for you guys... Jimmy Butler's playing the Wolves for the first time... over 30.5 points, rebounds, and assists. He's going to do the same thing that he did in the practice. He's just going to go off. He's going to alpha the fuck out of him.

Kyrie Irving is pulling a 'LeBron' by publicly blaming his young teammates.

Kyrie has been very outspoken, saying that the young guys need to pick it up. They don't have what it takes to be a championship team as of now. He's pulling a LeBron on them when LeBron was the one he hated. It's like when you grow up to be your father.

Derrick Rose's 'kill yourself' comment was not a slip of the tongue

Derrick Rose said, 'everyone that thinks that it's going to stop, kill yourself.' ... He then doubled down on it. He said, 'like I said before, kill yourself.' ... When you say it twice, you don't get the slip of the tongue tag. When you double down, the slip of the tongue doesn't work anymore.

Middling NBA teams should hire Tom Thibodeau for a short-term boost

If you're any middling NBA team out there, why not hire Tom Thibodeau right now? He's at least good to give you a little bit of juice for a few months. ... He's like steroids. Really good short-term. Bad for your hips.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT because he doesn't have to say it

You know who doesn't say they're the GOAT? Michael Jordan, because he knows he's the GOAT. You don't have to say it if you know you're the GOAT... Michael Jordan was asked if he was the greatest of all time and he was like, my career is not over.

LeBron James is the Donald Trump of basketball

LeBron James actually has the exact same take on LeBron James being the goat that you had... LeBron won while he was in Ohio. Won in Florida, both of them. Check, check. They've both got weird hair. Check. Check. LeBron can't win in California. Neither can Trump. Check.

It is human nature for an injured player to sometimes root for their team to lose

I don't think you'd be human if there wasn't a part of you that was like, I hope that we lose. It's the competitive nature in you. Kyrie's probably going through the same thing. Like, I wish I was out there. I wish I was helping the team win. I think to compete at this level, you have to have that mentality.

The New Zealand Breakers would crush Rick Pitino's Greek team

Panathinaikos versus the Breakers. Who wins? Breakers. Yeah, for real? Yeah, definitely. We would crush Panathinaikos. No chance.

Greece is the perfect place for Rick Pitino to coach

Rick Pitino's going to a place where there's a lot of backroom dealings and shady handshake deals and no one pays their taxes. Pretty good place.

LeBron James would be the best netball player in the world right now

How long do you think it would take for LeBron James to be the best netball player in the world? Probably he is right now already.

The Chicago Bulls are viewed as a 'joke' around the NBA

Nick Friedell is our insider today... He said, around the league, when you go around and talk to people, the word they use talking about the Chicago Bulls is a joke.

Luke Walton's job is safe for the rest of the season

I don't see Luke Walton on the hot seat because Magic Johnson said he's going to be around for the rest of the season barring something catastrophic. So there you go.

The Lakers have a better shot at trading for Anthony Davis now than in the summer

If you're the LA Lakers and you want a shot at Anthony Davis without Danny Ainge and all his pile of assets competing with you... they have a more clear run at Anthony Davis now than they will in the summer.

Kawhi Leonard is a robot who does not have emotions

He doesn't have emotions. He's a robot... he doesn't have a heart yet. He laughed, there was some laughing, him and Nick Saban laughed the same way, they both have like a button they're like it is appropriate to laugh now so I will push my tickle button.

The Chicago Bulls are an absolute laughingstock of an organization

The dysfunction at the Bulls organization. They are an absolute laughingstock of an organization... They are the most... It's like the Chiefs used to be with Scott Pioli and that whole crew. And they're such little, little people. They're so scared of any criticism... Gar Foreman is a little fucking loser.

LeBron James is dropping 'I'm washed' hints to pre-excuse not winning a title with the Lakers

LeBron, though, is definitely going to start dropping these hints to pre-excuse not winning another title. He's old. He needs help.

Zion Williamson blocking shots into the crowd is effectively a turnover

But when you block a shot and the ball goes into the crowd, that's a turnover. You might as well be turning the ball over, Hank. Why doesn't he catch the balls instead of blocking them?

Markelle Fultz's injury diagnosis sounds like a specialty machine scam

Neurogenic thoracic outlet syndrome. That sounds like a diagnosis that you have to go see many doctors to get... and then the last one, you walk in and the doctor's in a huge lab coat smoking a cigarette. He's like, oh, I know what this is. It's just TOS... either that or if you go to a doctor and the first thing they diagnose you with is TOS – you can bet your ass that doctor has like a $700,000 TOS curing disease machine in his back room.

The Jimmy Butler experiment with the 76ers will be a success

Jimmy Butler hit another game winner from the same exact spot. Yes, he did. So it turns out maybe that experiment is going to turn out good for this.

Ayahuasca could help fix Markelle Fultz's mental block

That could actually probably help Markelle Fultz because it's all in his mind. [Ayahuasca] will clear you up... his brain is broken.

LeBron James is by far the best player I ever played with

Well, clearly [LeBron James] is the best by far. I think you give D-Wade the nod [for second] because he has three championships, but T-Mac to me was the hardest cover ever.

Bol Bol will get injured this season because he is too tall

My sit-up is Bol Bol. This guy is way too fucking tall. There's no way he makes it this whole season without getting hurt... he wears short shorts, so it makes him look even taller.

Kevin Durant is definitely leaving the Warriors in free agency

The Warriors are imploding and Kevin Durant is definitely leaving after this season in free agency and this is in no way an overreaction.

Steph Curry might leave the Warriors for the Lakers

Aisha Curry recently followed Vanessa Bryant on Instagram. So what if Steph was the one to leave the Warriors, go to the Lakers, and leaves KD to deal with Draymond and all the trash in Golden State?

Markelle Fultz has the yips

Markel Fultz stinks... He's got the yips. And what's a great solution to the yips? Jimmy Butler, who's going to come in and basically walk in and say, I'm the alpha.

Jimmer Fredette will get another shot in the NBA

The Mormon Megalodon dropped 75 in China... He'll get another shot. I don't know about that. We'll see.

Jimmy Butler screwed over the Timberwolves by tanking his trade value

Jimmy Butler fucked over the Timberwolves. Make no mistake about it. He fucked them over. Doing what he did gave them zero leverage. I'm going to sit out when I want to sit out. I don't give a fuck. And the Timberwolves were like, okay, well, now we're screwed.

The 76ers signing Carmelo Anthony would signify the end of The Process

If you bring Carmelo Anthony on your team, the process is over... No, you're starting to undo the process. You're stretching the process too thin. You're taking the tent down.

Carmelo Anthony's late-career decline is ruining his legacy

What's going to end up happening is he's going to keep hanging on and keep doing this, and it's going to ruin his legacy because he actually was an unbelievable basketball player... Syracuse Melo and Nuggets Melo and being an unbelievable scorer, it's all going to be ruined.