Takes

Coach Orgeron is a cult leader whose novelty will wear off because he is not smart enough to sustain success.

The thing with Coach O is he's basically a cult leader, right? He gets in, and he gets these kids really, really fired up because he's got a huge personality... But he's too dumb to be a good cult leader. So, like, the novelty of being in a cult and really enjoying your cult status, like, it's going to wear off pretty quickly.

Wearing black jerseys is a guaranteed loss for Georgia football.

It's when we pull the black jerseys out. If we pull the black jerseys out, it's a guaranteed L, so we need to stay away from that.

LSU is the hardest SEC stadium to play in.

What's the hardest SEC stadium to play in? LSU. Even though we actually hung 52 on them when we played there... But they're insane. Their chants are in unison, which is really, really weird.

Charlie Strong will lose the Red River Shootout and be fired within a week.

That means he's basically got six days. That means – He's going to lose the Red River shootout and he's going to get fired... This is the worst thing to have your athletic director say. 'We will not fire him this year.' That basically says you're going to get fired in a week.

The ACC is officially back and the SEC is dead

I think the ACC is back, gentlemen. The ACC is back. The SEC is dead and continues to be dead.

Bobby Petrino will stay at Louisville for the long term because he is a man of faith

Love Petrino. I feel like Petrino's a good guy. He's got the whole faith of the program behind him. He's not going anywhere. Oh, man, after they go undefeated and they beat Houston too, Petrino's sticking around for the long term. He's not going to Texas or LSU next year.

LSU will look like a completely different team under Coach O

I think you're actually going to see a lot of stuff, a lot of different stuff from LSU when they take the field Saturday night against Missouri.

Penn State should have a fluid process for reevaluating Joe Paterno's wins based on current public sentiment

I think Penn State should just have a fluid process of always constantly reevaluating whether or not Joe Paterno's wins stand. So like as more evidence comes out, you can take his wins away. And then once you forget about all the bad stuff he did, you give him his wins back.

Lane Kiffin will get a head coaching job and be fired within a year

My hot seat is going to be Lane Kiffin. He's probably going to get a head coaching job after this year. It seems about time. And that immediately puts him back on the hot seat because he'll get fired within a year.

LSU will go after Nick Saban to replace Les Miles

One name that's floating around that LSU is allegedly going to go after, Nick Saban. LSU wants Nick Saban to coach their football team.

Coach O would be an awesome cult leader

I don't know, but it sounds like Coach O would be an awesome cult leader.

The Miami Hurricanes are officially 'back'

The U is back. Of Miami. Okay. The U is back. They have three huge wins against Florida A&M, Florida Atlantic, and Appalachian State. So 3-0 to start the season. I think they're definitely back.

The Texas Longhorns are no longer 'back'

Texas no longer back. Because they were back because they beat Notre Dame, who is not back. Now Texas is back into the not back category.

LSU will win their first game under Ed Orgeron because of the 'interim coach boost'

There's no chance that LSU doesn't win their next game. Coach O, he's the fiery guy.

The Syracuse defense is historically bad

The [Syracuse] offense looks inspiring, but the defense looks historically bad.

Mississippi State will beat UMass 35-14

I still think Mississippi State gets the W, but I think it'll be closer than the experts think. I'm going 35-14.

Do not schedule North Dakota State because they will stomp you

Do not schedule the [Bison] because they will stomp you if you do. Add Iowa to the list of teams that have gone down to the Bison. Now Minnesota, Kansas, Kansas State, Iowa State, Iowa... have all been beaten and stomped on by the Bison.

Switching to 1% milk after a heart attack is the ultimate football guy move

Switching to 1% milk after a heart attack... That is the most football guy move of all time because there are like a million other things. I agree with Urban Meyer. Don't spend more time with your family. Don't maybe knock out fast food, but take it down from 2% to 1%.

Nebraska football is officially back

Nebraska football. Huge week three win against 22nd ranked Oregon. The program's back.

Alabama will beat Ole Miss because their defense isn't good

I'm going Alabama. I think they get it done. Yeah. I'm not sold on the Ole Miss defense at all.

Virginia Tech will upset Tennessee at Bristol Motor Speedway

I got Virginia Tech because Appalachian State pushed Tennessee to the brink... Appalachian State should not even be on the same playing level as Tennessee. I got Virginia Tech in the upset.

The SEC is dead in 2016 except for Alabama

Do you think the stories about the SEC being dead are correct? I do, except for Alabama. because Alabama looked good last weekend against USC.

Texas is back after upsetting Notre Dame

Swoops for the win. Texas is back, folks. They upset Number 10 Notre Dame. And what an amazing win for the Texas Longhorns.

Texas is back

I'm going to ask the question right now. Is Texas back? Texas is back. I think Texas is back. I mean, it was a statement win. Charlie Strong, he needed a statement win, right? Now he's back.

Wisconsin is the mediocre pushover neighbor of college football

Wisconsin's never back. They're never gone. They're just there. We literally are just like the neighbor who you can be like, hey, can I borrow your lawnmower and just not give it back for three months? And you know he's never going to come ask. It's a total pushover.

Notre Dame is heading in the wrong direction

If you had to describe Notre Dame for the last seven years, it's perfectly this. Are they back? Question mark. They've been almost back, sort of back, never fully back. But I think now they're going the wrong direction. Now they're set back.

Jim Trestle believed the punt was the most important play in football

[Jim Trestle] sits in the punt meeting, special teams, he said, 'Punt, the most important play in football.' And he just kept repeating that... I believed him because that's how we played. They called it Trestle Ball.

College football overtime should be replaced by a coaching fist fight or Oklahoma drill

I think that if we actually just had the coaches have a fist fight, like a boxing thing. Or maybe the coaches do the Oklahoma drill in the middle [of the field]. Who wouldn't watch that?

Nick Saban doesn't have sex, he just 'soaks' and watches film

I don't think that Saban has sex. I think that Saban just soaks. You know what soaking is? Yeah, it's the Mormon thing. He just soaks it for a while. And then he's watching film, grading players at the same time.

Christian McCaffrey should have won the Heisman Trophy

Last year, Christian McCaffrey, the best football player on planet Earth, he should have won the Heisman, but he didn't get it because he's a Christian and maybe a white male, but mostly because he's Christian.

The SEC is 'bad' this year (2016)

RIP to the SEC, who's bad this year.

LSU does not have a good quarterback and will continue to struggle passing the ball

Turns out LSU doesn't have a good quarterback. Oh, you think? No doy. The 10,000th year that Les Miles has a quarterback that can't throw the ball.

Alabama will lose at least one game due to a brutal road schedule at Tennessee and LSU

The other top three teams in the SEC are LSU, Tennessee, and Ole Miss, and they play each of those three on the road. So it's a brutal schedule for Alabama... I'm going to say the two toughest ones are Tennessee because Tennessee is on the road... and then, of course, the LSU game.

Ohio State will win the Big Ten because they will be experienced by the end of the season

I went with Ohio State. And the reason is when they play their big games... By week 11, they'll be an experienced team. So I think they can win those two games [Michigan and Michigan State] and hence win the Big Ten this year.

The Washington Huskies are the #1 surprise team and a dark horse for the national title

My number one surprise team this year is the Washington Huskies... I've got Washington as my number one surprise team this year.

Iowa has a chance of running the table and going 12-0 again in 2016

I think Iowa's got a chance of going 12-0 again this year... I think they've got a chance of running the table.

Texas will be the most improved team in the country and see a massive win total jump

I have Texas my number one most improved team in the country... I think Texas will show a big change in record and have one of the biggest change in win totals this year.

Florida State will win the 2016 National Championship

As far as the national title this year, I did go with Florida State... I think Florida State can take it all home this year.

This is the year one conference gets two teams into the College Football Playoff

I think this is the year where one conference gets two teams in. Now, that's going to leave two of the Power Five conferences unhappy at the end of the year, but I think this is the year it happens.

Northwestern will hit the over on 6.5 wins

Northwestern, six and a half. I'm going to go with over... I'm going to have to go with over the six and a half.

My top five teams for 2016 are Alabama, Texas A&M, Notre Dame, Michigan, and the winner of Arkansas vs. Ole Miss

The top five in the countdown was Alabama, Texas A&M, Notre Dame, and Michigan... And then I had Arkansas Ole Miss.

LSU will win the College Football National Championship

On Saturday and the rest of the weekend, I picked LSU to win everything... My final team, and the winner is LSU. I think LSU wins it. You talk about, and you know, everyone's on Alabama. I'm not against Alabama, but if you look at LSU's recruiting classes... these guys are five, six, seven, eight. I mean, there's really, you know, there's not that much difference.

Ohio State will be a playoff team because they remind me of the 1986 Hurricanes

I like Ohio State. They remind me a lot of our 86th University of Miami team, Hurricanes. We had 12 players drafted. Ohio State had 12 players drafted. Everyone thought that we were gloom, doomed the next year, and we came back in 87 and won the national championship.

I am betting on LSU at 8-1 to win the national title

From your advice there, I'm taking LSU 8-1 to win the national title.

Maryland will never feel like a real member of the Big Ten

Does it bother you that Maryland will never be a real member of the Big Ten? ... It makes me want to puke every time I see Rutgers and Maryland for the football schedule.

Stanford will win the Pac-10 this year

Prediction for Stanford football this year. Well, I can't... I have a hard time saying winner of the Pac-12, so I'm going to say the winner of the Pac-10 still.

I'm betting on Ole Miss week one because Hugh Freeze held a fake funeral for himself

As people who know my gambling problem, I will be betting Ole Miss week one without a doubt. If you bury a football, if you plan a fake funeral for yourself, if a beloved mascot dies, that team's going to win the next game.

Wisconsin threw the 2014 Big Ten Championship game so Ohio State could make the College Football Playoff

Wisconsin threw the 2014 Big Ten championship game 59-0 so that Ohio State could go to the national championship game... Barry Alvarez, Wisconsin AD, sits on the selection committee... He knew, hey, listen, if we're going to get the Big Ten into the national championship, they've got to put a whooping down. Hey, Wisconsin – Go ahead and roll over. 59-0. Let's make it a bloodbath.

Urban Meyer will win a national title before he has another health issue

I think that [Urban Meyer] is going to win a national title before another national title. [Big Cat: Before another fake heart attack?] There was nothing fake about it, Big Cat... Show some concern for your fellow human beings.

Bobby Petrino coaches every game with a waistband-tucked boner

I've got a theory that Bobby Petrino coaches every single game doing a waistband tuck... He's got full erection. Every conference game, he's got a full erection. Just keep an eye on that for maybe a little cherry poking out of the top.