Takes

Colony Grill in Fairfield, CT is the best pizza in the world

Number one pizza is Colony Grill. Yes. No questions asked in Fairfield though. It's gotta be the one in Fairfield.

I only eat chicken tenders and don't like seafood

I have [had shrimp] but seafood's not really. Not really my thing. ... Chicken tenders. ... [Shirley Temples] I can get a Sprite whenever I want, but if I go to a restaurant or something, get a Shirley Temple. Class it up a little bit.

Guinness is a soup

Guinness is a soup. It's soup. Guinness. And it is a soup. It's barley soup.

Uncrustables are the perfect meal

It's really the perfect meal, an Uncrustables.

Blue raspberry is the best flavor of everything

[Blue raspberry] is like the best flavor of every cake. It is. Exactly. Everyone wants the blue raspberry. Like Jolly Rancher.

Any side dish works with any main course

I don't believe in in Correct the idea that one type of meal, like if you order a steak, then mashed potatoes is the side to that. But if you order pasta, guess what? Mashed potatoes is a great side for pasta too... All sides. If you like a side it works with any main course that you also like.

Ordering delivery from two different places for the same meal makes you a 'fat ass'

I would order from both places for dinner. Yeah. And just do 'em... it would be like three entrees and an appetizer from two different places. Oh. For myself... I am a fat ass and you are a fat ass if you ordered delivery dinner from two different places at the same time.

A grilled cheese is better the less effort you put into it

I also think that a grilled cheese is one of those things that it's better the less effort that you put into it. Yeah. Like you can make a gourmet grilled cheese with some of the best cheese in the world. But for my money, if you just take like two slices of Wonder Bread and some craft singles that's perfect.

The Grilled Cheese Burrito is the best item currently on the Taco Bell menu

Best menu item going right now. Grilled cheese burrito... That is the best menu item they have right now... I love the grilled cheese burrito. Yes. It's the foundation.

The Breakfast Crunchwrap is the greatest fast food item in America

Breakfast crunchwrap might be the best fast food menu item in America. It's that good. It is perfect.

I've eaten way more chicken wings than anybody else in the PMT room

Chicken wings eaten. I bet you I'd be topping this room. I think I've eaten way more chicken wings than anybody else here.

The replacement of Sierra Mist with Starry is a handout to 'Big Corn'

This does feel like a Biden special... This is a big handout to Big corn. Yeah. To the corn syrup market. Because Sierra Mist was made with real sugar while Starry uses high fructose corn syrup.

Fruit Loops are all the same flavor regardless of color

Fruit loops don't have an individual taste. Your mind makes you think that the orange tastes like orange, yellow tastes like lemon banana. They all taste [the same].

Microwavable dinner is the one food that best represents America

The microwave dinner because the eighties was such a shift... first decade that has two, two parents working. So you have latchkey kids able to let themselves in... a microwave, you put the damn thing in, you press a couple buttons. So a latchkey kid suddenly had agency... it's a direct correlation to where American tastes are at the time.

Lobster is just 'gentrified bugs' and was originally fed to prisoners

The lobster was served to prisoners. A hundred percent... they have the exact same neurological system as a cockroach. And they used to just wash up in mounds. And that's exactly why they were considered poor people food... they gentrified bugs.

Drinking a gallon of water in five minutes will stretch your stomach for an eating challenge

Joey [Chestnut] taught me I would drink a gallon of water in five minutes, either the morning of the challenge or the night before because then through breathing, pissing respiration, perspiration, the, the water is gone but your stomach is stretched out.

The chicken salad on wheat is the high-key veteran move at the Augusta media center

Chicken salad on wheat. Chicken salad on wheat is low-key, high-key the go-to. The vets know that. So go chicken salad on the Honey wheat... that's the one you want.

The 'Big Texas' cinnamon roll is a meal substitute that requires calling in sick the next day

The problem is with Big Texas, it is the closest treat that you can have that will like substitute for a meal and a pinch. But you basically have to call in sick the next day. If you're eating a Big Texas for dinner that night.

Ice cream should be a breakfast staple because it has more protein and better nutrients than sugary cereal

I've always argued ice cream should be a breakfast staple. It's way better than like these sugary cereals. And it's got way more protein and good stuff like milk. It's healthy.

Pringles is the absolute best snack ever created and the undisputed GOAT of snacks

Pringles are the best snack ever. They've been the best snack since I was a little kid. ... Pringles is my favorite snack in the world. ... Pringles are the absolute best. That's an undisputed fact. They're the undisputed goat.

Fried lobster is the most delicious thing I have ever eaten

I had fried lobster for the first time in my life. That's all I've been thinking about. It was the most delicious thing I've ever ate.

Stuffing should be an all-year-round food, not just for the holidays

Stuffing should be year round. It should not be limited to the holidays. Big time. I love stuffing. It's maybe my favorite dish. Favorite side dish. It just, I would like to enjoy stuffing occasionally in the autumn, in the spring, in the summertime.

Eating 14 hot dogs in 12 hours is not a lot of food

When you say 14 hot dogs in 12 hours isn't that much. It's not. That's a fat ass statement. Not that you're a fat ass, but... it's really just dealing with Stu Feiner all the time.

Eating 14 hot dogs over 12 hours is not an insane amount of food

The second place person should have 10 hour days. Second place person can probably get out in one day. If they just need 14 hot dogs, they have to bowl 160. I don't think that 14 hot dogs over 12 hours is like an insane amount.

The Beyond Meat COO bit a man's nose because he craved real animal protein

My hot seat is beyond meat. The COO. Yes. Of beyond meat after the Arkansas, Missouri game bit a guy's nose in a parking lot. And that's just a class example of a guy craving real animal protein.

Tuna is the beef of the sea and Salmon is the chicken of the sea

Tuna is the beef of the sea. Salmon's the chicken of the sea. [Big Cat: Tuna cans literally say chicken of the sea.] No, because it's red. It's the beef.

Frosted Flakes are a perfectly average and unexciting cereal

I feel like Frosted Flakes is an okay cereal, but it's just never is anyone's like—does anyone get excited about it? They're perfectly average. Unless they're stale at the continental breakfast.

Chicken wings are not a good leftover

As a man that loves chicken wings, who would like to be buried under six feet of chicken wings when I die, I will be the first to tell you that chicken wings are not a good leftover.

Chinese food is the unquestioned number one overall pick for leftovers

The first pick is the easiest pick in the entire history of Mount Rushmore, Chinese food. Number one, simple. It's so good. Just eat it cold, like some lo mein... beef and broccoli.

Chili is one of the strongest leftover foods because the flavors intensify the second day

Our second one is going to be chili. Chili's one of those things where the flavors get stronger the second day. I think it's a very strong pick.

Thanksgiving leftovers are a top-tier food category people can survive on for days

Thanksgiving leftovers. I mean, people survive off from Thursday to Sunday of whenever Thanksgiving weekend is off of Thanksgiving [food]. It's a pretty easy Mount Rushmore [pick].

Cold pasta has no carbs or calories

Here's a, here's a little fun fact for everyone as a nutritionist, pasta cold pasta has no carbs. So that's just a fact for everyone out there. No carbs, no calories, cold pasta. You can, whenever you eat cold pasta, the next day you could just eat so much of it.

Pie is a superior breakfast leftover to cake because it's essentially a pastry

The reason why I thought pie is because cake for breakfast is a little heavy. Whereas like an apple pie or blueberry pie, that almost feels like a breakfast food. It's not that dissimilar from a croissant or some sort of pastry or Danish.

Leftover steak makes for a top-tier sandwich when combined with mustard

We're gonna go with steak. Now hear me out. Making steak sandwiches the next day with mustard. There's people out there who know what I'm talking about. It's not a traditional one, but if you cut it up and warm it up in a pan, it's not that bad.

A half-drank blue Gatorade in the fridge is the perfect hangover leftover

Blue Gatorade in the fridge that you didn't finish next. Really good one. You wake up, you're thirsty as hell. You might be hungover and you see that partially [drunk]... sometimes that's the perfect amount of Gatorade to drink.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are the best candy overall

One, one, no brainer. Pick hat knows this favorite candy. I literally had it for breakfast this morning. Reese's.

Peanut Butter M&Ms are better than regular M&Ms

Our third pick, we're gonna go with peanut butter M&Ms... Easy money in the bank. I would take that over regular M&M actually all day, all day. If somebody handed you a bag of regular M&Ms, and one peanut butter, you're taking peanut butter every time.

A Twizzler can be used as a straw for drinking Coke

You know, what's the best part about Twizzlers? If you bite both ends, you can use it as straw. That's true... get a large Coke. Yeah. Longs, Twizzlers bite. Both ends use the Twizzler as a straw for the Coke.

Sour Patch Kids are elite movie snacks

If I go to a movie, I'm getting two snacks... My second snack, always Sour Patch Kids, people, elite movie snacks. They're very, very good.

Orange is the best Starburst flavor

I personally like orange, orange. [Big Cat: Pink is last, that's crazy.] Orange, red. See yellow. Okay.

Pink is the greatest Starburst flavor

Pink one. One's... Pink is the, is the goat. Pink's the only one for me.

The Choco Taco discontinuing was a genius marketing move and it's coming back

My other who's back is the Choco Taco. They said they're bringing it back. Stay woke. That was a genius movie. Choco Taco's going Morbin time. They just reminded everyone the Choco Taco rules and then everyone like pull it away.

Pineapple is a tier-one fruit

Next pick, our next pick is pineapple. Great fruit. Tier one. Pineapple makes everything taste good. It's big and strong.

Corn is a fruit and it will win the Mount Rushmore for Team Billy

Corn. Corn is a fruit. Can you guys believe that? An ear of corn is not technically a fruit. Instead, each kernel is a fruit. Exactly... I'm talking to the corn lovers of America. You're gonna vote for Team Billy because of corn... Trust in corn.

The Taco Bell breakfast crunch wrap is so good I want it to choke me out with a dog collar and throw me into a volcano

Breakfast crunch wrap Supreme from Taco Bell. I want it to choke me out with a dog collar on a leather leash. And then I want it to throw me into a real volcano.

Twix is the most consistent candy bar because it's everyone's top-four choice

The Twix is the candy bar unlike any other. I don't think anyone has Twix as their number one, but everyone has Twix in their top three or four. It's the most consistent... no one really bashes Twix.

Tiramisu is a bottom-tier dessert

I'm the man who will eat every dessert in the world. Tiramisu is bottom tier dessert. It's all fancy... It's the texture that I don't like. I don't like the texture of tiramisu... Tiramisu is coffee flavor. Just drink the coffee. It's way better.

I can eat 50 Raising Cane's chicken fingers in five minutes

I only get five minutes to eat. So I'm trying to get to get 50 [chicken fingers] down in the five minutes.

Thai food is prevalent in America because of a soft power directive by the Thai government

Thai food is only prevalent in America because of a directive by the Thai government... in the early nineties [they] wanted to spread Thai culture as a form of soft power. And so there's Thai food all over completely disproportionate to the amount of Thai people in the United States.

Light beer is the only thing the United States specializes in making better than other countries

Light beer. America was like, you know what? Beer is good. I wish there was slightly less taste that you could drink 10 times as many them... Light beer is the only, like, I don't know any other country that specializes in making light beer. There's really none. Every, every other is like, we'd like more flavor us. We're like, no, we just want to get drunker.