Takes

Jimmy Clausen still has the potential to be a good NFL quarterback

To be fair, Jimmy [Clausen]'s put together a couple of good games. Like jury's still out on Jimmy.

The Eagles deserve a C+ for their 2016 draft because they didn't move up for a wide receiver

If I had to give the Eagles a draft grade, I would give them a solid C+. Why? Because I strongly feel like even though they traded their picks up and they drafted Carson Wentz, who I think's a fucking G, I feel like they could have made a move and traded up to get into the second round and get a wide receiver.

NFL fans will be tired of Carson Wentz's old tweets by week 4 of his rookie season

Wentz also had a tweet like three years ago that said, I want to kill myself. And it was a tweet that was like in succession with a couple others, so it's a little bit out of context. But every single interception that he throws, every game they lose, you're going to see that. You're going to get pretty sick of that by about week four next year.

Andy Dalton's new haircut is actually cool and the team likes it

No, he has a cool haircut now. Everybody likes his haircut. My wife loves his haircut now. ... It's definitely a cool haircut.

Aaron Rodgers' hard count is unsportsmanlike and the 'quarterback version of entrapment'

I actually agree with him [Richard Klatt]. Well, it's kind of the NFL quarterback's version of entrapment, right? Like if you're a police officer, you're not allowed to entice somebody into committing a crime. Why would you be able to like trick somebody into committing a penalty?

Laremy Tunsil's gas mask bong video is actually a positive scouting report showing he has great lung capacity and mental toughness

Nice lungs on him. If you're scouting him and you're like, damn, that guy can play deep into the fourth quarter. That guy can play at altitude is what it tells me. ... So that guy can be in a tight place. He can play in altitude. Mentally tough. He's got deep lungs. He can play deep into the fourth quarter.

Laremy Tunsil should own the gas mask video and walk out for his first NFL game wearing one

Tunsil should just own this and come out for the first game with a gas mask on.

You cannot win with an NFL player who has never tried weed

Your draft pick being a weed guy i think that you don't want to have a draft pick who's who's never tried weed everyone has a friend who's never tried weed and he's a loser and like when you pass the joint around you're like fuck this guy's a narc you start thinking about it you can't win with a guy who's never tried weed

Carson Wentz looks like a guy who has never tried weed before

I would say that, actually, Carson Wentz seems like a guy that's never tried weed before. ... I think if you look at his tweet history, the fact that he lives in North Dakota, weed, they don't have North Dakota weed. You can't get weed, yeah.

Bruce Arians is building a defensive cartel in the Arizona desert

I think Bruce Arians is building a cartel out in the desert. He's got Tyrann Mathieu, and now he's got Chandler Jones. Can you imagine those defensive meeting rooms? It's going to be like a Star Wars movie theater back in the '70s with all the smoke going up.

Compared to Laremy Tunsil's gas mask, Ha Ha Clinton-Dix looks soft for only having a joint in his draft night photo

Another real winner of the draft was Ha Ha Clinton-Dix from a couple years ago. You'll remember he had that joint that was next to him on the couch. So now basically Ha Ha Clinton-Dix looks like a big pussy right now. At least have an apparatus for me to make a story.

Carson Wentz has better long-term prospects than Jared Goff because he can sit for a year

I would look at Wentz's long-term prospects, especially if he can sit the first year and learn... The thing I fear for Goff is being thrown to the wolves right away with huge expectations, big city, new city. The learning curve is going to be very, very fast for him... I would be much happier if I were training a quarterback this year for one of these two teams, if he could sit for a year instead of getting battered. So that's one reason I really like Wentz.

Johnny Manziel will never start another game in the NFL

if you had to put your life on it, does Johnny Manziel start another game in the NFL? I would say no. I think he'll try. I think he'll come back at some point. It'll be a great redemption story. But the problem is... his skillset was going to be difficult anyway... I think he's got a little bit of the Tebow thing around him right now that he's, he's skillset fits college football and not the NFL.

A second major cheating scandal would definitively impact Bill Belichick's Hall of Fame standing

If Bill Belichick were to get caught cheating, doing something like Spygate again, do you think that that would impact his Hall of Fame status down the line? [Peter King]: It'll impact his Hall of Fame status. I mean, he's already got the black mark from Spygate against him from 2007. ... you would have to judge the black marks against Belichick's career with the incredible career that he had.

Sam Bradford hasn't earned the right to be a starting quarterback

I can't comprehend where Sam Bradford's coming from to think that he earned the right to be a starting quarterback in the NFL.

Carson Wentz's corny Twitter presence is a major red flag

You got to watch out for guys like this who are just like a little too corny on Twitter. It's like the – it's like – what's it called? Draft Day. Great movie, by the way. What's he hiding?

I want my offensive linemen to be white and my defensive linemen to be black

I would like [6'6 guys who run 4.2s] on my offensive line, and I'd like the black guys on my defensive line.

Joey Bosa is a great draft prospect because of his name

I'm a big Joey Bosa guy just from the name. I think his name, I think that's a great name.

DeForest Buckner is a top draft prospect because his first name is a verb

If your first name is a verb, I think that's pretty solid. [DeForest Buckner] jumps up to the top of my big board.

Robert Nkemdiche would be a Vine superstar if he landed on a beer pong table when he fell out of a window

If there was a beer pong table that [Robert Nkemdiche] landed on, he'd be a Vine superstar. If anything, he just did it a little too early.

Tom Brady could sue the NFL and Roger Goodell for defamation

I don't think [Tom Brady] is just going to let this go away. I think what he may do is he may sue for defamation, because what happened in this Deflategate, none of that is relevant to if he brought a claim for defamation. In other words, saying that the commissioner and the other people said things about me, which they did with malice... there's no question the Golden Boy image at the very least is tarnished.

The Chargers should leave San Diego because fans living in paradise don't deserve a team

Just don't – I don't ever want to hear any San Diego fan ever tell me, like, we had a bad loss or boo-hoo, the Chargers are moving. You live in paradise. You don't deserve other things. You have the paradise to live with... I want you to lose the Chargers now.

Sam Bradford will not be the Eagles starting quarterback in 2016

I have a feeling [Sam Bradford] won't be [starting]. I know they're saying all the right things now and they can't declare to the world that he's not going to be the starter because what if the guy that they draft ultimately stinks. It wouldn't shock me if they find a way to unload him onto somebody who emerges from the draft without an answer.

Johnny Manziel will never start another five games in the NFL

I'll take under [five more starts] because even if he gets his act together, which first he has to have the epiphany. I just don't think anybody can ever trust him to be a starting quarterback or a backup quarterback.

Teddy Bridgewater would be better if Adrian Peterson wasn't on the Vikings

I developed a semi hot take that [Teddy Bridgewater] would be better off if Adrian Peterson wasn't on the team. I just think that when you have a running back that is one of the all time greats... I think you get to the point just psychologically where the other 10 guys are counting on Adrian Peterson, and they're not counting on the quarterback the way that other offenses count on their quarterback.

Jared Goff will be the first overall pick in the 2016 NFL Draft

Oh, it's going to be Jared Goff. I believe it will be Jared Goff.

Colin Kaepernick used steroids because he's too skinny now

My [Witch Hunt] is Colin Kaepernick. If you've seen a picture of Colin Kaepernick, he looks like a tweaker. He's super skinny. He's got a fro, which means he was doing steroids, and now he's no longer doing steroids. So Colin Kaepernick was a steroid user.

Playing for the Detroit Lions sucks the life out of you

If you just see what they've done in the past and even now with Calvin [Johnson], it's a tough place to play. It just sucks the life out of you. I don't know how else to describe it.

Calvin Johnson is officially retired and will not return to the NFL

I do [think he is officially retired]. After the beating that he's taken... I just think he made enough money. And the NFL is getting to a point where people are realizing how brutal it is... I'm sure after watching a year of it, like I did my first year out, he'll realize he wants no part of that.

Matthew Stafford is not an upper-caliber quarterback and he can't beat winning teams

I never did gel with Stafford, and it is what it is. I don't think he's a great quarterback. He's not on that upper caliber quarterback that's going to take you to a championship. Or going to beat a winning team.

JJ Watt will get a DUI within six months if he keeps up his current public persona

He either comes on Pardon My Take and doesn't interview anybody and is actually real for a little bit... or two, he keeps up the facade, and then six months later, he gets a DUI, and then it's all just completely busted. ... If you keep this up, and then you get a DUI, guess what? You're screwed.

Any future heroic act by JJ Watt will be a staged PR stunt

I wouldn't rule out J.J. Watt staging, saving some child from a burning building or something. If you hear a story in the next month that J.J. Watt ran into a burning warehouse and there were children and kittens and puppies and he saved them all, just be on the lookout for that. ... I want to be a pre-truther to anything heroic that J.J. Watt does in the next six months.

Rob Ryan sleeping at the Bills facility is a bigger 'Football Guy' move than Dan Mullen's marathon

Without a doubt, Rob Ryan's sleeping at the facility. And here's why. Rex Ryan, now that he's got his brother in town, they're doing nothing but hanging out at the Bills facility, drinking Fireball and just like sleeping on cots. And to them, that's like summer camp. So that is a football guy move. Dan Mullen running a long distance and like showing off about it. That's more of a basketball lifer move.

Johnny Manziel should go to law school and become his own agent

Johnny Manziel is agentless. He should start going to law school, become his own agent, show that he can be a responsible adult. If Johnny Manziel was like yeah I'm starting night school classes law school night school classes tell me people aren't like wow Johnny really got his act together.

The NHL first round is much better than the NBA first round

The major stories all come from the playoffs starting and the stark difference between how much fun the NHL first round is and how awful the NBA first round is. It's incredible to watch. If you are the eighth seed, if you're the seventh seed, what's even the point of being in the playoffs? Whereas the NHL seeds all across the board win playoff series.

Johnny Manziel should buy a house instead of renting to avoid party damage headlines

My PR 101 advice to Johnny would be—this is basic stuff—buy a house, don't rent. Interest rates being what they are these days, you're getting some bad financial advice so just look to buy, don't look to rent.

Johnny Manziel is actively trying to be a dickhead to stay in the news

He's actively trying to be a dickhead now. That's the thing that's shocking with Johnny Manziel... Now I think he's going out of his way to be like, I'm going to stay in the news. I'm moving in with Josh Gordon. I'm getting in a weird car accident. He's trying to do this.

Jeff Fisher saved his job with the Rams by trading for the number one overall pick

I think Jeff Fisher might have just saved his own job because you can't really fire a guy when you draft a new quarterback.

Jeff Fisher is trading draft picks to the Titans to secure a future front-office job for himself in Tennessee

I predict that within like three years, Jeff Fisher is going to go back to Tennessee in some capacity. Whether that's like as a general manager or [involved in ownership] ... I think he's making a nest for himself. I think he's giving them all these draft picks to select like a decent amount of good players. And then that's his escape hatch in two years if it doesn't work out in LA.

Rams GM Les Snead keeps his job because he has great hair and a Hollywood look

Les Snead, the GM for the Rams. I have a theory that he just gets by on his hair. If you've seen his hair, he's got very nice hair... He's got like kind of a Hollywood look. He's got the name... I don't know if he's a good GM anymore. I think he's just getting by with the Les Snead kind of aura that's around him.

NFL primetime games in late December are always horrendous

I do know that we will have at least three or four primetime games in like late December that are horrendous because that happens without fail. The Monday night games. There will be a game where Gruden will have to tell out the world that like some awful quarterback is good.

John Gruden would be a serial killer if football didn't exist

If football did not exist, I think that John Gruden would be a serial killer. I don't see any other outlet that he could possibly have besides football where he can be like this meticulous and this passionate and not end up killing at least like a half dozen people.

Johnny Manziel should move in with Tim Tebow for the rest of the offseason

PR 101, Johnny Manziel move in with Tim Tebow for the rest of this offseason... Let Tebow work on them for a while. Talk about an odd couple. If you were to make that some sort of like pay-per-view reality show and charge $100 per episode, I'm in.

John Madden has been dead for years and the NFL uses fake quotes for PR

The theory of this show is that John Madden has been dead for years and that the NFL just uses fake John Madden quotes for PR.

Bill Belichick is a baller for skipping a subpoena to study film

He was subpoenaed during the Aaron Hernandez double murder trial, and he just didn't show up in court... That's Belichick just being a baller... He treated it like he had a late movie to Blockbuster, not a fucking murder trial subpoena.

Tom Coughlin was hired by the Jaguars just to change the clocks and stand over people

Tom Coughlin said that he's going to be in the weight room making sure when guys are there they're working hard... This is what he was hired for. He was hired to change all the clocks and just stand over people and be like you're not working hard.

Football is the best game that has ever been invented.

[Bruce Arians] said... Talking about football. 'It's the best game that's ever been fucking invented.' ... That's definitely a fire flame stake. That's one of the strongest statements I've heard, and I can't say I disagree with him.

Concussions might not be real because the science isn't definitive

I don't know if they just all knew magically that concussions were like a real thing, which science is still out on that, by the way. ... And I'm not going to say that concussions are harmful until the NFL tells me. And Roger Goodell is not going to do that.

Johnny Manziel going to the Denver Broncos makes sense

We're the first people that we heard say Johnny Manziel would make sense in Denver. And I think we're now proving it. Von Miller and Johnny Manziel getting their act together together.

The Jaguars winning a Super Bowl is a futuristic impossibility

If the Jaguars ever win a Super Bowl, that that's like futuristic stuff, like hoverboard back to the future kind of stuff. The Jaguar, just that sentence, like Jaguars winning Super Bowl. That's something that you can my brain can't even compute that.