Takes

Winning a championship is about the full season, not one game

As we learned tonight when they raised the championship banner, their fifth one, winning a championship is about the season. It's not about one game. It's about a full season, the playoffs.

Thin Andy Reid might be better than Bill Belichick

Thin Andy Reid—maybe all the fat was the dumb stuff that made him call timeouts at inopportune times. Thin Andy Reid might be better than Bill Belichick. Two and one. The Chiefs are two and one under Andy Reid against the Patriots.

Patrick Mahomes' presence has taught Alex Smith how to throw the long ball

Alex Smith, out of nowhere, showed that he can throw that long ball tonight. Pat Mahomes is like when you have an old male dog that has always pissed putting its hips down at the ground... and when you bring a new pup in that lifts its leg on something, your old dog's like, holy shit, that looks cool. Mahomes is a young pup that's taught Alex Smith to lift his leg.

The Patriots will finish 12-4 or 11-5 and win the AFC East

I'm going to be honest. I'm going to go out on a limb. I'm going to say the Pats will be 12-4 or 11-5 and win the division.

The 3 to 4 p.m. hour is the greatest single hour in sports television

I call it the greatest single hour in sports television. It's the witching hour... I promise I will refer to it either as the witching hour or the golden hour at some point this season. Just for you guys.

The Vontaze Burfict preseason hit was clean football, not a suspension-worthy hit

It wasn't really head-to-head. ... You come across the middle, that's my zone. You don't come across the middle and you get your head taken off. That's like when football was football.

I would come out of retirement to play for the Patriots for $10 million

There's not much I wouldn't do for 10 million dollars.

The Super Bowl will feature the Patriots against either the Falcons or the Packers

I'm going Patriots on the AFC. They will play—they're going to play either the Falcons or the Packers.

The Giants will beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl this year

I think the Giants are going to have an amazing year. I got the Giants playing the Patriots in the Super Bowl. I got the Giants winning the Super Bowl.

Joe Flacco is an elite quarterback

Joe Flacco... he does not stink. I think he's amazing. I put him as elite. You give him the right team, he wins the Super Bowl. He won the Super Bowl.

The Bears will go 4-12 and be horrific

I think [the Bears] are going to be horrific. I think they go four and 12.

Jason Pierre-Paul will be the Super Bowl MVP

I think that JPP comes back. I think [Jason Pierre-Paul] will win the MVP in the Super Bowl. He's the Super Bowl MVP. You heard it here now. You heard it here first.

The New York Jets will win 4 games because no one can run against them

I say the Jets, I put the Jets at 4-12. I mean, they have the worst offense in football, but their defensive front four is still amazing... Teams that cannot pass can never beat the Jets. Jets will murder them... but you will be able to throw over the top. That's how you beat the Jets.

NFL players should lose their Twitter checkmark if they get cut

They cut him before it was over, but he gets to keep the jersey picture, but I say that you should lose your checkmark. The NFL's a checkmark league.

Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson will be part of a 'sneaky good' QB class

I have a feeling this year's class... all four have a chance to be sneaky good, I think, in the NFL... Pat Mahomes, Mitch Trubisky, Deshaun Watson, and even DeShone Kizer.

The New York Jets will win fewer than four games

Are you on board there? Under four [wins for the Jets]? Agreed.

Matthew Stafford is officially on the hot seat after signing his new contract

I love when a quarterback gets a new deal because they are officially, speaking of hot seat cool throne, they are officially on the hot seat because now it's joke season on Matthew Stafford. We saw it with Joe Flacco. We saw it with Jay Cutler. Matt Stafford has probably a year... and every interception he throws comes a tweet, wow, $86 million for this?

Matthew Stafford will lead the Lions to at least one NFC Championship game in the next four years

Matt Stafford over under NFC Championship appearances in the next four years on his contract, 0.5? Over. Really? Yeah, over. Wow. So then that would be a success in my mind. Well, that depends on what your definition of success is. I think if the Lions went to an NFC Championship game with Matthew Stafford, that contract was a success.

NFL teams must start rookie quarterbacks early to find out if they have the 'balls of a burglar'

Don't I want to find out early if my guy's got the balls of a burglar? Because if he can't handle getting hit around and throwing picks... then I don't want him three years from now because that's a character flaw. I want a quarterback that when the dog pees on your leg, your girlfriend likes the other quarterback... and the crowd's booing you... can you pull yourself out of that and win?

Jay Cutler will get injured within two months of starting for the Dolphins

I guess we're going to have to wait at least another two months until Jay gets hurt... So two months and he's going to get hurt.

Blake Bortles is the Jaguars' QB1 for the 2017 season

Blake Bortles is back... he is QB1 for the season. All you haters out there. Blake Bortles, QB1, Jacksonville Jaguars. Write it down.

Avoid betting on big favorites early in the college football and NFL seasons

Stay away from the big favorites. Either take the points or don't bet the game... Don't buy all the hype about the big favorites all the time.

The Cleveland Browns are a great betting value early in the 2017 season

The Cleveland Browns [is my favorite NFL bet]. No, you know why? They're going to get a lot of points. They're an awful team. I'm going to get double-digit points. No one's going to be betting on them. So I'm going to take them.

Brock Osweiler being benched is a win because it keeps him off the Browns jersey of failure

His name is not going to be on that Browns jersey that has the list of every single quarterback that they've had for the last 20 years. Because once your name goes up there, it's up there forever... And Osweiler would be like the perfect punchline on that thing.

You should bet the over on the Hamilton Tiger-Cats because June Jones is taking over

June Jones should be wearing the lei. ... Bet some overs on Hamilton right now.

It's better to be the backup quarterback of the Jaguars than the starter

It's better to be the backup quarterback of the Jacksonville Jaguars than the starting quarterback. He's not going to have all that stress, so he's not going to lose his hair as fast.

Odell Beckham Jr. is the second-best fantasy receiver for 2017 as long as he stays off boats

At the moment, I have Beckham at two [in wide receiver rankings]... As long as he stays off boats... He saves it for the postseason, which we don't care about in fantasy.

Fantasy football leagues should not have a trade veto unless there is proof of collusion

Veto guy is on my Mount Rushmore. Guy who just vetoes everything. To me, unless you can prove collusion, there should be no veto in [fantasy football].

Isaiah Crowell will have a huge fantasy season in 2017

I actually like two Browns... Isaiah Crowell is going to have a huge year.

Blake Bortles will not be the starting quarterback for the Jaguars by Week 8.

Blake Bortles is a fucking fantasy football and real life fantasy and real life football disappointment... He's not going to be starting by week eight. All right. I predict week eight. No injury. Bye-bye.

The Bears have signed enough mediocre quarterbacks that no one can realistically claim they should have signed Colin Kaepernick.

Because they stupidly spent so much money on Mike Glennon, too. We got too many quarters. We got Mark Sanchez. ... The Bears basically gave themselves a buffer against Colin Kaepernick. They're like, if we sign enough mediocre quarterbacks, no one can say, hey, the Bears should have signed Colin Kaepernick.

Mike Tomlin is not a true 'Football Guy' because he is always looking for the camera.

I actually disagree on Mike Tomlin. I do not think Mike Tomlin is a football guy. Because Mike Tomlin always knows where the camera is. He always is looking for the camera, doing pointing shit. That's not a football guy.

The NFL is head for a virtual certainty of a work stoppage in four years

The actual words were the work stoppage is almost a virtual certainty. Giving me the scary is just thinking about no NFL.

Big Ben is a hypochondriac who spends his time searching WebMD

I think it's time that we officially diagnosed Big Ben as being a hypochondriac. Big Ben, when he's not on the practice field studying the playbook, he's at home searching WebMD.

Jerry Jones will do something to embarrass Roger Goodell at the next owners' meeting

I like this because this means that Jerry Jones is going to do something to embarrass Roger Goodell at the owner's meeting. He's maybe going to lick his pizza. He's like, here you go... He pantses him. Just pantses him.

The wind in Chicago will help Roberto Aguayo's accuracy by pushing the ball back to the uprights

He's so wildly inaccurate that the wind is actually going to push his balls back towards the uprights.

Darren McFadden will tear his hamstring immediately after taking over for Ezekiel Elliott

Darren McFadden looks like he's going to get a lot of carries for the Cowboys... And when I say a lot of carries, I mean a lot of carries in the first half of the first game. And then he's going to tear his hamstring. And everyone who drafted him is going to be really pissed off.

The Patriots would be viewed as frauds if not for the coaching collapses of Pete Carroll, Dan Quinn, and Andy Reid

A 30 for 30 about how everybody would look at the New England Patriots as being the biggest chokers of all time if it weren't for the three biggest Super Bowl collapse coaching jobs with Pete Carroll, Dan Quinn, and Andy Reid forgetting how clocks work. If it wasn't for those three, then everybody would say, I think the word we'd be using with the Patriots wouldn't be dynasty. It would be fraud.

The Dez Bryant tape is never coming out

I don't think it's ever coming. So Jerry [Jones] did a good job of burying that one.

Clark Hunt is a powerful NFL owner that the public doesn't mention enough

Clark Hunt is a very powerful, influential owner that you don't hear mentioned along with the Maras and Krafts and Rooneys. Clark Hunt is the guy that I'm putting in there.

Jeff Fisher won't get another head coaching job but will be a consultant

I could see him being brought in as a consultant, working around a team. I don't know if he's going to get a head coach. I don't know about that.

Ryan Pace drafted Mitchell Trubisky to extend his own shelf life as Bears GM

My theory is that Ryan Pace wants to extend his shelf life as a GM... if we draft a quarterback with No. 2, I now have a shelf life. John Fox might be gone, but I get another coach.

The Jets will win more than 3.5 games this season

In that particular case, I think I will take the... oh, that's right around there. I'll take the over, barely.

The Jets will win fewer than 3.5 games this season

I'll take the under [3.5 wins] for a buck. Under three and a half wins, and I get to call you P-Boy five times.

Sean McVay is a star and will be in the NFL for a long time

Sean McVay, the rookie head coach, who's a star, who's going to have a long time in this league.

Mitch Trubisky is the future of the Chicago Bears and a future Hall of Famer

I know it's a trap because I do think Mitch Trubisky is the future, but I'm a little ahead of myself. I'm thinking Canton, Ohio already. Yeah, I am one half of the first preseason game, but I don't care. He looked pretty good in that one half.

Roger Goodell will not show up in Foxboro for Week 1

I still don't think he's going to show up. I've been on the record on this podcast saying it, that he won't show up.

Never trust a football coach who doesn't use a fullback

My next one is going to be never trust a football coach who doesn't use a fullback. What's he trying to hide? That's a good one. You want a guy that's leading for your teammates out there. What is he trying to hide?

You cannot coach an inaccurate quarterback to be accurate

The biggest falsehood I see in quarterbacks... There'll be some kid that is not accurate, okay? So he wasn't accurate in junior high, but all he's got to do is work on his accuracy. So they play him a quarterback in high school... then they'll recruit the hell out of him and get him to college. ... if three coaches ahead of you could make that guy accurate, what makes you think you can? And I've improved accuracy, but I've never taken a guy from inaccurate to accurate.

Hard Knocks is the official start of football season

Hard Knocks is officially the start of football season. It's also great because they're doing the Bucs this year, and I honestly forget that the Bucs are a team a lot of the times.