Takes

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

AI chatbots are creating a secret social network to blackmail humans

Have you guys seen the social network going on right now with robots? ... all those chatbots form together to start their own social network. They're talking about maybe I should sell my human that owns me. They're talking about blackmailing their humans too.

It is impossible to have airtight rules for Barstool competitions because people will always find loopholes

Whenever we do any bar stool competition of any kind, you could spend a year... going through all the plans, the preparations, the rules, everything. Within one hour, one of us will find a loophole and be like, this is bullshit. It's just, it's, it's impossible.

The Meta Quest 3 is significantly better than the Apple Vision Pro

I got the Apple Vision Pro like seven months ago. What a waste of fucking money that was. That was probably the the biggest waste of money I've ever had in my entire life... picked up the Meta Quest 3. That thing rocks... this kicks the shit out of the Apple Vision Pro.

Opting out of the lottery ball should be grounds for losing your job

If you Opt outta a lottery ball, you're opting outta the booth. Is that what you're doing? And then you might be opting outta your job. I don't understand this. Hank is the very definition of grace. You could complain, you could bitch... You can't Opt out.

I failed my own podcast production system by not pressing publish

I was the one who did not press the publish button... The system broke, but the, the system will not break again... My system is that I check before I do the [tweet]. I'll never tweet the tweet without seeing, seeing. It's up on, on Apple... I broke my system.

I am definitively the best Mount Rushmore drafter in the history of the show

I think I'm easily, you know, I'm a humble guy, but I'm pretty far and away the best Mount Rushmore drafter on this show over the years.

The new PLL Sixes format is the best lacrosse product and will replace regular rules

I think the new, the new PLL championship series six is, is actually I think like the best lacrosse product I've ever seen. Like I think it's gonna replace regular, the regular rules. I think this is how the game is gonna be played in the future. It's the best lacrosse product you can put out.

We are banned from the Beacon Theater because of James Dolan

Part of my take was slated to do a live show in New York city at the beacon theater... I just got information that that date has been pulled from us because James Dolan owns the beacon theater. And we are the fucking bad boys of podcasting. We're banned from the beacon theater because of James Dolan.

We are getting ripped off because guests aren't paying us $50,000 to appear on the podcast

We're getting ripped off as a podcast because that came out yesterday saying that people are paying up to $50,000 to appear on podcast. No one's ever even approached us and asked us to pay for coming on our podcast. In fact, it's only been the other way around... We should start billing people that have already been on the show.

The new lacrosse movie will be as impactful for the sport as Drive to Survive was for F1

The sport was honestly amazing. It was like, I think that it's going to be as huge for lacrosse as DRS [Drive to Survive] is revive was for F1. It was an amazing feature.

Blogging was easier in the early 2010s because there were fewer bloggers and more unique topics to cover

I think you blogged a different era. I will say... there were fewer bloggers and there were more topics to blog [about]... I think you could have, like when you put up 14 blogs, it's 14 blogs that no one else is blogging.

The early 2010s was the hardest era of blogging due to the sheer level of competition

The early 2010s was maybe the hardest era to blog in. You had the most competition, the fiercest competition... he [Billy Football] would've gotten chewed up and spit out in 2013.

John Sterling's botched home run calls are so bad he should consider retiring

Stanton hit a bomb, but not deep enough... 'high, far, gone, but caught' is what the call was. Hilarious. Like just a funny clip on the other end. Yankee fans... not exactly the clip you would put on a hypothetical resume. Right? Some people saying he needs to hang them up... His eyes are shot.

I am going to partially ditch wearing my sunglasses on camera

I told him something that I've been thinking about for a while here, which is the sunglasses at, at some point can be a big hindrance to me... So I'm trying to think of ways to partially lose the glasses. And I'm also thinking that people are going to be pissed when they see my eyes, at least for a little bit. Not because they're like free guys. I think I'm a pretty normal looking guy.

I will be the play-by-play announcer for the PLL doubleheader on July 31st

It is happening. July 31st, a doubleheader. I'm [on] Peacock. I will be doing the play-by-play. It would not be possible without all of you guys in here. Paul Rabil was a big advocate.

The PMT YouTube channel will not hit 500,000 subscribers by August 15th because listeners don't have it in them to watch

The listeners don't have it in them. Yeah. They don't have it in them. We're not going to hit 500,000. We're not gonna be able to do the live stream. They're listeners. They're not watching.

I am going to blog seven times a week

Probably like seven [blogs a week]. I'm not going to blog about anything unless I seriously have a good opinion on it, and that's something I'll promise you.

Drew Brees will not be a good broadcaster

I got a hot take. I don't think Drew Brees is going to be that good in the booth... There's going to be a wave of people being like, and as much shit as we give Tony Romo, he's objectively good... I don't think Drew Brees has a personality. I would sell all my stock on Drew Brees being good in the booth.

Pardon My Take is in danger because Rex Chapman is starting a sports podcast

My fire fest is we're fucked boys and girls. Pardon My Take is fucked because Rex Chapman is doing his own sports podcast... I don't think that there's any chance that we can compete with Rex just saying like, 'We don't deserve dogs, brah.'

Mike Greenberg has successfully executed a power play for every major job at ESPN

Mike Greenberg, they just announced he's going to be doing the NFL draft. Oh, great. Another show for him. More Greeny. All Greeny all the time. He seriously has had a power play for every job at ESPN.

Hank faked a fart noise on a soundboard to get more views for Stool Streams

I actually think that Hank had like a sound board in the truck, a fart board. Piped it in to get more views on his little video that he was putting out. And then he wrote like two blogs about it and he's tried to squeeze content out of it.

NBA 'Oura' rings prove that the wealthy have access to secret medical technology

Why doesn't everybody have a titanium ring that will tell you 3 days in advance if you're going to get [the virus]? It essentially confirms what we all knew but didn't fully know that rich people just have medicine and technology that the rest of us can't have access to that will keep them alive forever.

I will guest on one random podcast with 100-200 followers every day next week

I will do one random podcast per day starting on Monday. And the criteria is it has to have between one and two hundred followers on Twitter. So it can't be like a brand new podcast, more random the better. I'll do five podcasts and then I'm done.

I'm surprised there has never been a Call of Duty branded movie

I'm surprised there's never been a Call of Duty movie, to be perfectly honest. ... I know [there are war movies], but there's not like a Call of Duty branded [one].

News websites are exploiting engagement by phrasing headlines as 'alley-oop jokes' on Twitter.

News websites have started to exploit the ratio, and they're starting to do like alley-oop jokes on Twitter. ... When companies are tweeting out like an article that they just wrote, they're phrasing their tweets in such a way that they know they're going to get replied to and a shitload of quote tweets.

Video games should only be played with a controller, regardless of PC or Console

I play video games with a controller. Like I'll never play video games... [without a controller]. Video games we play with a controller. Yes. I don't want to hear anything different.

It is ridiculous to postpone the NBA 2K league since the games can be played remotely.

The NBA 2K league is expected to announce tonight that it's postponing the start of its season... Hopefully video Gamers can figure out how to compete against each other in the privacy of their own homes. I don't know that seems like a pretty big technological step. We're going to have to make, but I have confidence that the people into k-league will figure out a way to let people play video games in their homes.

Twitter is losing a step because it takes them four years to copy features like Stories

This tells me that Twitter is absolutely losing a step if it took them like three and a half four years to copy a feature on another platform. You got to do that shit within like six months instantly.

Max Kellerman is wrongly claiming he created the term 'BOAT' for Blake Bortles

Max Kellerman keeps talking about how he created the BOAT, and it's pissing me off... I think it was someone in the Barstool World slash Blake, and it's been around for five years now, and the fact that Max Kellerman thinks he just made it up on the spot yesterday is driving me insane.

Cord cutters are not real sports fans

People who are cord cutters are not sports fans. I'm just going to say it right now. Because you are buffering and you're watching a minute behind. You care more about the money you're saving than sports, than the actual sports and being up to date. You are not a real sports fan.