Takes

The Jaguars defense will be dominant after drafting Josh Allen

Josh Allen. Seventh pick, Jaguars. Jaguars D is going to be so fucking good. I can't believe he fell to this.

NFL draft picks cannot be accurately graded until three or four years after they happen

I always like the draft grades that are going to come out on Monday. Teams are going to get A's and B's and C's and D's... but they don't circle back three or four years after. Because that's when you really grade the draft.

Kyler Murray will be the #1 overall pick in the 2019 NFL Draft

Kyler Murray is going to be number one... I think that Kyler Murray is going to be Cardinal.

Duke will have the #1 recruiting class and Matthew Hurt will be their next star white player people hate

Number one recruiting class. They got Vernon Carey Jr. And everyone likes to root against the white guy that's a high recruit at Duke. Matthew Hurt is the guy. Have you seen pictures of this kid? ... Duke's back.

No other quarterback could survive in Pittsburgh like Big Ben

There's no other quarterback in the league can play in Pittsburgh the way [Roethlisberger] have played... he's just a tough son of a gun.

Led Zeppelin is the greatest stage band of all time

Band band, like get up there and kick ass on a stage, it's Led Zeppelin. It's not even close. They invented a different genre of music... It's because they're the greatest.

Capitals losing 5-0 is better than a close overtime loss

If it was a 4-3 overtime loss, I would be a little bit more worried. But the fact that I was rooting for it to get worse... 5-0, you can just wipe that one off. You can just say, wasn't our night, fellas.

Neil Armstrong is a more significant Purdue alum than I am

I'd say that's pretty significant, though, what Neil Armstrong accomplished. So I'd have to put him up there [above me].

Tiger Woods is officially back

The real story is Tiger Woods is officially back... He had that Tiger swagger.

Tiger Woods beating the athlete golfers he inspired (Koepka, DJ) is his most impressive feat

There's a whole wave of guys that he created, right? The guys that look like Dustin Johnson and Brooks Koepka that could be athletes in any sport... And they all kind of wanted to be him. And he beat all of them... when it's over, he wins.

Masters Sunday is the biggest napping day of the year

Everybody watches the Masters by themselves, maybe with their dad, maybe with a roommate or something like that, but it is the one day a year where you can take part in the biggest sporting event of that sport of the year and just sit there and chill, fall asleep, take a nap. It's the biggest Seebs Day of the year.

The Warriors will win the 2019 NBA Championship

Out West, I think the Warriors are going to win the NBA title. Okay, that is a fucking take. Watch out, guys. Take warning. I fucking... Oh, man. I wish someone would beat them because that's what really kind of dampens the... well, you think someone... I mean, Houston could.

The Bulls should send Bill Murray or Jim Belushi to represent them at the draft lottery

Zion. Maybe Zion... That's going to be the biggest night of the Bulls probably since Derrick Rose left. You need to figure out who the ultimate good luck charm is. Jim Belushi. Final answer. [PFT]: Or Bill Murray. [Big Cat]: Get Bill Murray to do it. Yes.

Virginia's national title run is one of the coolest stories in sports history

UVA now becomes one of the coolest stories in all of sports going from the loss to UMBC last year as a one seed to a 16 seed never happened before to then get all the way back and go to the national title and win the national championship. It's all like one story. And it all kind of erases. I feel like if they don't have that low, they don't get to this high.

The Masters deserves all the hype it gets and cannot be overhyped

You can't overhype the Masters. Take your microphone off. That's a bad take. The Masters deserve all the hype.

Tony Bennett has revolutionized Virginia's style of play using Wisconsin's influence

I mean, Dick Bennett, you know. Indirectly a little bit. I mean, you guys, you know, kind of revolutionized our style of play, right?

I chose the Rams over meetings with Denver and Baltimore

The Rams was the first one. And after kind of spending the day there, I knew that was where I wanted to be, so I kind of just shut it down and got it done... I had a meeting with Denver and then Baltimore were the next two.

Auburn's loss to Virginia is the worst possible way to lose a Final Four game

Auburn, I would say that might be the worst possible way to lose a Final Four game of all time... hitting three free throws in that situation, that's the shit you do in your backyard, and you miss two out of three, and you're like, all right, redo. He was money on all three. And Auburn, I would say that might be the worst possible way to lose a Final Four game of all time.

Kyle Guy is making a strong case for the Jim Nance Tie Player of the Year

He is making a hard case for the Jim Nance tie player of the year. I think if it's not Kyle Guy, I think even if UVA loses the national championship, Jim Nance is going to find a way to get him that tie.

The Undertaker is the most intimidating person in the world

Undertaker is the most intimidating person. There is nothing more intimidating. When he steps in that ring, it's just magical. He's literally a dead man walking.

The podcast industry will eventually die like magazines

Everything's going to die. Listen, whatever project you're working on, that thing is not going to exist in 100 years. I don't care who you are. So yeah, everything's going to die.

I am one of many number one tight ends in the NFL

Man, I think there's a lot of number one tight ends right now... I'm going to keep going now. It's working for me so far... [Who's the best?] Gronk and Tony.

The AAF died exactly like the XFL did

This is what we warned you about. This is exactly what happened with the XFL. It just died. And we all got excited. And then it died.

LeBron James drinks enough wine to equal 70 cigarettes a week

LeBron James because a study just came out that a weekly bottle of wine is as bad as smoking 10 cigarettes. And for LeBron, that's like 70 cigarettes because he drinks a bottle every night.

Upperclassmen leadership is the difference in the NCAA tournament

Sometimes you run across a Michigan State team that's as physical and have maybe a little more junior and senior leadership than we had. And that makes a huge difference in the tournament if you have some upperclassmen that give you some experience.

The 'I Hate Christian Laettner' title was a smart marketing move

The title bothered me until I called my mother... She says, well, they don't want only the Duke lovers and the Laettner lovers to watch this show. They want everyone across the board to watch it... Carolina fans, Kentucky fans... Everyone's going to want to watch it and see what's up.

Magic Johnson and Larry Bird were the first guards to have guard skills at 6'9"

Larry Bird and Magic Johnson were the first guys I ever saw six nine six ten bringing the ball up having guard skills so to be on a team with them was just awesome.

Zion Williamson was the college basketball season and his departure leaves a hole in the Final Four.

I'm going to miss Zion a lot because he was so much fun to watch this season. He was the college basketball season, and he leaves like a hole in all of our hearts for the Final Four. Zion was the only one who, like, wanted it, I felt like, a lot of times during this Duke run.

The Lakers will miss LeBron James during the first round of the NBA playoffs.

Everyone out there, please remind us how much fun it's been to talk about LeBron this year because I will have a moment in the first round of the playoffs where I'll be like, I kind of wish LeBron was here.

Matt Painter is the new Bo Ryan

Matt Painter, the new Bo Ryan.

The Chicago Cubs will have a rebound year and win the NL Central

NL Central, the Cubs are going to win. This is the rebound year. I can feel it.

A team's connectedness is more important than talent or coaching

You can't be in the Sweet 16, or it's rare if you're in the Sweet 16, if you think it's only based on talent or if it's only based on coaching. There have to be a lot of other intangibles... it's the connectedness of your staff and the example that your staff sets for your team.

Rob Gronkowski is the greatest tight end of all time

Yes, Gronk [is the GOAT]. I'm kind of upset he retired. I wish he stayed one more year because we were playing the Patriots this year.

Tennis balls are definitely green

I already know the answer to it. No, they're green... Yeah, they're probably green. They're definitely green.

Tennis balls are yellow

You think they're yellow. Interesting... I don't go with the sheep.

The five-foul limit in college basketball is terrible and needs to be changed

I hate the five fouls in college basketball. Suck. They need to fix it.

Rob Gronkowski is the greatest tight end in NFL history

Greatest of all time? Tight end? Not even a question. Greatest tight end of all time. Gronk is the first seven [PFF single season grades]. So basically every single year. He was amazing.

I am canceling Orange Vanilla Coke and will never drink it because of the excessive advertising

Orange Vanilla Coke I saw seven million times, and I hate it. I will never drink an orange vanilla Coke. I am canceling orange vanilla Coke.

Mike Francesa invented the concept of a podcast co-host

He invented co-hosts. Mike Francesa, in addition to Daily Fantasy, has invented co-hosts. My idea.

The stripes on a college football enhance the look of a spiral compared to an NFL ball

The stripes on the college... because the college ball has extra stripes. It does enhance the ability of what a spiral looks like. Because you get the NFL, you really can't tell.

The 2019 NCAA champion will come from a group of seven teams: Virginia, Duke, Michigan State, UNC, Gonzaga, Michigan, or Kentucky

There has been no team that has ever won the tournament that hasn't finished in the top 20 in adjusted offense and adjusted defense. I'm going to give you the teams right now. So if you're waiting to fill out your bracket, here are the teams that you should pick from. Virginia, Duke, Michigan State, North Carolina, Gonzaga, Michigan, Kentucky.

My 2019 Final Four: Virginia, Duke, Kentucky, and Michigan

So my Final Four is Virginia, Duke, Kentucky... and Michigan.

My 2019 Final Four: Duke, Gonzaga, Virginia, and UNC

I have Duke, Gonzaga, Virginia, and UNC in my final four.

Bracket regions should be named Top Left, Bottom Left, Top Right, and Bottom Right to be standard across all websites

I don't like [the pod system]. Let's make it standard because my biggest problem with March Madness and the whole bracket system in general is it's usually not standard across all the different sports websites out there. It should be called top left, bottom left, top right, bottom right. Make it easy for me.

Isaiah Thomas deserves a tribute video from the Boston Celtics

My Who's Back of the Week is Isaiah Thomas... He's playing the Celtics tonight. I think they have to play the video. He deserves a tribute video. He was a great Celtics player, and he's back tonight. I hope he gets it.

Ryan Fitzpatrick is the perfect Dolphins quarterback because he provides 'Fitzmagic' wins during a rebuild

I don't think there's been a more perfect move in the history of the NFL than Ryan Fitzpatrick going to the Dolphins... Ryan Fitzpatrick is like the perfect, we can rebuild, but he'll give us four or five wins that will be awesome to watch so people don't get so pissed off about the team sucking.

Trent Richardson is a 'human first down' due to his high touchdown-to-yardage efficiency in the AAF

2.4 [average]. I'd rather my running back work smart than work hard... Eight touchdowns for five games, that's insane. Listen, say what you want about him. He's very efficient. He doesn't need a lot of yards to get his touchdowns.

Josh Rosen should be eligible for Rookie of the Year in 2019

Josh Rosen or maybe Kyler Murray throwing a rookie connection. Yes, Rosen is absolutely, he should be eligible for Rookie of the Year next year.

Basketball players just need to play basketball, regardless of injury risk

This is basketball. It's not football. It's not any of these other sports. Like, basketball players need to play basketball... LeBron, that's what all these players, even Blake Griffin said it himself. You have to play to play. It sounds dumb saying it out loud. You've got to play.

Raphael is the best and only cool Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

I'm a Raphael. Raphael was the bad boy who April had a crush on... Raphael was the one who would always get them in trouble because he was such a badass. Raphael was the one, he was like the guy who kind of, the straw that stirred the drink.