Takes

Hugh Freeze is the 'Football Guy of the Year' after coaching from a hospital bed

Hugh Freeze, Liberty head coach... He coached from a hospital bed. That's going to be impossible to beat. The football guy of the year moment in week one.

Dino Babers is the classiest head coach in college football

Dino Babers might be leading the league right now in terms of the amount of times you have to say the word classy when you discuss him... Dino Babers is the classiest of the class head coach in college football.

The Big Ten Championship game should be played outdoors to neutralize speed and favor Big Ten style football

It's kind of stupid that the Big Ten... plays a championship game indoors, don't you think? I think speed should be neutralized. That's probably why Wisconsin lost. Maybe play it in cold, like gross field. ... That's football. Nobody likes offense anyways.

Coleslaw is both a salad and a liquid that keeps you hydrated

Coleslaw is the rare food that is both a salad and a liquid at the same time. So if you eat enough coleslaw, you stay hydrated.

Sleep is the enemy of greatness for football guys

Sleep is the enemy of greatness. Football guys would just prefer to not sleep ever if they could.

You are statistically less likely to get a concussion without a helmet because you protect your head more

I think you're actually statistically less likely to get a concussion when you're not wearing a helmet. [PFT]: Agree, because you protect your head more. That's a basic fact of human reaction to things.

Mike Gundy and Kliff Kingsbury are too pretty to be 'football guys'

Mike Gundy's in really good shape. I don't like that... The mullet has gone to his head... Kliff Kingsbury's another one like that... where he looks too nice. You can't look that nice and that pretty and be a football guy. You're a fake-ass football guy.

College and high school baseball coaches belong to the same 'phylum' as football strength coaches

College baseball coaches and high school baseball coaches are under the same phylum as football strength coaches. They're very similar. They're very similar species... They share 98% of the genetics, but the 2% that they don't share makes them a little bit different.

Mike Gundy has decided to be a crazy person for the rest of his career as a branding move

I think what happened was he went out and he saw how good it felt to say something crazy and be perceived as like a crazy dangerous person in public that he's like you know what I'm just going to be fucking nuts for the rest of my career that's my brand that's what I'm going with I'm going to out crazy Mike Leach.

Shaka Smart having an assistant hold a paint can to remind players to stay in the paint is a good move

You know, we make fun of a lot of things and we kind of have a good time on this podcast, but I actually buy this move. Full on. That is like a literal, you know, get into the paint while a guy's flashing a can of paint in your face. You remember to get in the paint.

Jeff Fisher will become a VP of Football Operations for the Chargers

I think we called it he's going to be vice president of football operations somewhere. ... For maybe when the Chargers move. ... The Chargers fire McCoy.

Neil deGrasse Tyson's only job is to tweet nerd shit

By the way, you know what Neil's job is? Just to tweet nerd shit. To just look at stars, right? His job is to stand inside a planetarium with a laser pointer.

Mike Zimmer definitely has his play card written on the inside of his eye patch

I thought that [Mike Zimmer] had his play card written on the inside, like crib notes on the inside of his eyepatch. That was probably a really efficient move on his part.

Ben McAdoo is an aspirational, try-hard football guy rather than a real one

I still continue to say [Ben McAdoo] is not a football guy. He's a football guy in disguise. He's trying to be. He's an aspirational football—he's a try-hard football guy. Football guys don't even know that they're trying to be football guys. He knows.

Ed Orgeron is officially the greatest interim coach of all time

Is he officially the greatest interim coach of all time? His last head coaching stint at Ole Miss, where he went 10-25... he's won more games as an interim coach than a head coach.

Ben McAdoo is a watered-down fraud trying too hard to sound like a real football guy

Ben McAdoo seems like he's trying real hard as a first-year head coach to be a football guy. I think he's overextending himself a little bit. He sounds like a fraud. He's like a watered-down football guy. If this was like Coughlin doing this, then I would absolutely accept this is a football guy.

Bill Belichick 100% pays attention to metrics but acts like he doesn't for his brand

He absolutely pays attention to metrics. 100% he does, but he acts like he doesn't. So he's playing a double mind game... he's like I'm going to make them think that I'm even more of a football guy than I really am when behind the scenes I've got my spreadsheets set out.

Nick Saban views every election as a threat to his recruiting

Saban's a smart guy... Saban knows that he has to recruit Republicans from Republican and Democratic families. So he sees every election as a threat to his recruiting.

Norv Turner is a football guy for 'falling on the sword' and quitting to help his team.

Norv Turner doesn't look like a football guy for quitting, right? But... He said that he felt like he was holding the team back. So he killed himself for the betterment of the team. Fell on the sword.

Jim Harbaugh and Nick Saban are the same person because they are so committed to the process they don't know the score

I think [Harbaugh] and Saban are the same dude... they are so committed to the process. I would be shocked if Nick Saban knew what the score was in the middle of the game.

LSU will win their first game under Ed Orgeron because of the 'interim coach boost'

There's no chance that LSU doesn't win their next game. Coach O, he's the fiery guy.