Takes

If Tom Brady played for the Falcons right now, they could win a Super Bowl

I feel like if you could get Tom Brady away from some celebrity of function he's at right now and put him in a Falcon uniform, I feel like they could win a Super Bowl. Yeah. Like the quarterback is just, it's, it's too up and down. They got the town is ridiculous. ... London and what they have, like they've got a and they got a solid offensive line.

The Browns might actually be better without Deshaun Watson and Nick Chubb

Do you think that the Cleveland Browns are better without Deshaun Watson, Nick Chubb and Joel Bitonio? They might be. And you had a lot of people talking about the 49ers being super injured today. Well, the Browns, they they got you beat when it comes to major injuries.

Aaron Rodgers will return to play for the Jets in the playoffs this year

Does [Aaron Rodgers] play this year? [PFT:] I hope so. Playoffs, I think he plays.

The Braves are soft and complainers after their playoff exit

This series [we learned] Braves kind of soft, kind of complainers. If you're a Braves fan, you won a World Series a couple years ago, you'd be happy with that. But now you seem pretty soft. This postseason between the complaining about a reporter tweeting out an accurate statement from the clubhouse... gimme a fucking break.

Russell Wilson has played himself out of a Hall of Fame career

[Russell Wilson] stinks. He turtles so fast in the pocket. He threw for 95 yards. It was never close. I think they might bench Russell Wilson. He's played himself out of a Hall of Fame career as well.

Devin Witherspoon will put the 'absolute clamps' on Ja'Marr Chase

I dreamt that [Devin] Witherspoon was going to put the absolute clamps on Ja'Marr Chase in the game. I dreamt a post-game press conference with Ja'Marr Chase being frustrated with him asking him if he was always open this game. I had the entire thing. So I'm betting the under on his receiving yards this week.

Andy Reid will be considered the GOAT coach if he stays with Mahomes

I think that the 'Andy Reid is the greatest coach of all time' will eventually be a conversation if he stays in Kansas City. Because Bill Belichick without Tom Brady, his record has not been great. If [Reid] coaches for another eight years and you have Patrick Mahomes, that's like 12, 13 wins a year. That's a lot of wins. Andy's gonna go for Shula.

The MLB will change the rules to help the Dodgers if they get swept again

Only thing I fear is that if the Dodgers lose again, they're 100% gonna get the rules changed to make it so that the Dodgers can be like automatically in the NLCS. 'Cause this would be back to back years.

Jared Goff is a 'poor man's Matt Ryan'

He reminds me a lot of your former QB [Matt Ryan], maybe a poor man's Matt Ryan. It's not a slight on him. Matt's a great quarterback... Jared's great at the play action. He's great when you give him time. Get after him a little bit, speed up his clock. He's playing great right now. He's a guy that's resilient.

You cannot tell the story of football without Ryan Fitzpatrick

So we thank you. Wow. So you, we just made your case for the Hall of Fame. You cannot tell the story of football without Ryan Fitzpatrick.

The Patriots should rebuild around the lighthouse and fire Bill Belichick and Mac Jones

The lighthouse is all we got. That's really the only, like, I think you rebuild around the lighthouse. Get rid of Belichick, get rid of Mac Jones and just build around the lighthouse. Build an entire team around the lighthouse.

It is 'loser shit' to ban the Brotherly Shove just because defenses can't stop it

The NFL actually might stop it... which is it's, that's loser shit right there. Listen, I'm saying this as a Commanders fan, as a division rival, it's loser shit to ban the brotherly shove because just 'cause you can't stop it doesn't mean that they shouldn't be able to do it.

Zach Wilson is the third-best quarterback in the AFC East

I think objectively speaking, you can say that Zach Wilson is the third best quarterback in the AFC East. Big difference. Russell Wilson stinks and what we said, he looked okay the first four games, but he had to play a real defense for once.

The Bears are going to go 4-1 over their next five games

I did look at the schedule coming up and I've convinced myself they could potentially go four and one in the next five... Vikings, Raiders, chargers, saints, Panthers. And I was like, that could be four and one.

The Phillies home environment is unlike anything else in professional sports

I stand by it. I mean, I'm not the only one who's been saying... like, that video of the crowd singing Bryson Stott's walk-up song as he walks to the plate and then five seconds later hitting a grand slam is like one of the coolest sports videos of the year.

Daniel Jones is not a franchise quarterback for the Giants

Eli [Manning] had a fucking arm. What are you talking about comparing Daniel Jones? Jones actually plays like the way racists talk about black quarterbacks. All he can do is run... I have a hard time watching Daniel Jones. He was at the Comedy Cellar one night and I was like, I don't even care. That's a bad level that he's my starting quarterback.

Daniel Jones is officially 'Ass'

The official prognosis coming out of [Monday Night Football] is I think medically speaking, Daniel Jones's Ass.

The Commanders will win 10 games this season

I think, I think the Commanders will win 10 games this season. I think they're on track for 10. We, I would've liked to have this one [vs Eagles] going into Philly.

Matt Eberflus is a bonehead and a bad coach

Matt Eberflus is the reason why the Bears lost. Matt Eberflus is a fucking bonehead idiot and a bad coach... He's not a head coach. He is an absolute cluster fuck... He has no idea how to answer questions. He has no idea how to deal with the locker room.

Brock Purdy is a top 10 quarterback in the NFL

He is a top 10 quarterback... I think Brock Purdy's a top 10 quarterback in the National Football League in 2023. Say it, everyone say it with their chest... I feel confident in saying this as of right now.

Damian Lillard is past his prime

I think Damian Lillard's a little old, a little past his prime. Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown are in their prime. Damian Lillard's washed up.

Jameis Winston is the greatest quarterback in Buccaneers history

Jameis Winston holds all the records for the Bucs. He holds the yards record, the touchdowns record, the completions record. He's the greatest quarterback in Bucs history.

Justin Fields is finished as the quarterback in Chicago

It's over. Because I think we've seen a big enough sample size to know that there hasn't been enough improvement to say I want to see more. Justin Fields struggles to make layups and free throws. If you can't make the layups and the free throws, I'm not concerned that you can make the Alley-OOP dunk. Anytime a quarterback is living by running a football, that quarterback can't survive.

Mac Jones is a dirty player who ending fights by hitting guys in the crotch

I don't even know how as a teammate to respond to Mac. Are you okay? Guys who do that usually are guys that if a real fight broke out, they can't win. So they're looking for a way to end the fight early. Mack has probably been in a couple fights and the way he ended those fights early, he just kind of gave the guy a nice little four fingers and a thumb to the place that no guy wants to get it.

The Gillette Stadium structure is the largest lighthouse in the continental U.S.

The Patriots built the largest Lighthouse in continental us. It was, you know, discussed, promoted... Let's make the biggest Lighthouse in the continental US Asterisk. No big deal.

Tyreek Hill will become a porn star after he retires from the NFL

Tyreek Hill... came out today and said that when he retires he wants to just kind of get outta the limelight and enjoys retirement in peace and also be a porn star. I would watch.

Justin Tucker is washed up

I think Justin Tucker's washed up. He missed a 61 yard field goal. Everybody thought it was in... but yeah, it was like a yard short. He's washed up.

Swifties secretly want Taylor Swift's relationships to fail for the music

I think secretly Taylor Swift's own fan base is sabotaging her happiness... Swifties want Taylor to be happy on their own terms. They don't want Taylor Swift to find genuine happiness. They want her to be happy because she's found empowerment after a disastrous breakup.

The 2023 Chicago Bears will go 0-17

My overly direct take is that the Bears are gonna go oh and 17.

The Chicago Bears will have the first and second picks in the 2024 NFL Draft

I think the Bears might have the first and second pick in the draft. That's my overly direct take.

Russell Wilson will be benched this year

I also have a direct take, overly direct take. I think Russell Wilson will get benched this year. I do, I do. Sean Payton has no allegiance to him.

The Patriots are drafting Caleb Williams with the first overall pick

Congratulations to the New England Patriots on drafting Caleb Williams with the first overall pick.

The Patriots' lighthouse is not a 'real' lighthouse because it's not visible from a federal body of water

It's not a lighthouse if it's not visible from a federal body of water... It's a fucked up stupid lighthouse. They call it a non-traditional lighthouse. A.k.a. not a lighthouse.

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift are not actually dating

I think that Travis Kelce is not actually dating Taylor Swift. I think that this is, listen, we've been in the podcast game for a long time. We know it does numbers. Jason Kelce's a very smart guy. I think him going on the air and saying the rumors are a hundred percent true... You don't say a hundred percent if your brother's dating Taylor Swift.

Michigan Stadium is not a hostile environment

The Big House is a historic place, but it's not a very hostile environment. Those fans kind just sit on their hands... it doesn't get very loud compared to a Ohio State or Penn State.

If the Commanders win the Super Bowl, I will eat a steak

If we win the Super Bowl, I'll have a steak... Y'all have to take me to the best steak in the world.

Brandon Staley has turned from a 'nerd' coach into a 'pussy' coach

Brandon Staley is getting fired. Brandon Staley is not a nerd anymore. and I mean that in a, in a bad way. I liked it when he was a nerd. I liked it when Brandon Staley was going for Fourth Downs when it was like fourth and five doing crazy shit left and right now he's playing like a P word... He's a pussy. He's turned from a nerd into a pussy.

If the Bears have the #1 pick, they must take Caleb Williams

If they have the number one pick, you have to take Caleb Williams. Yeah. That's, I I don't care how the rest of the season goes. You just have to because, but then the world should get mad at the Bears for taking Caleb Williams and probably ruining, robbing the world of Caleb Williams.

Sam Howell is good enough to win 10 games this season

I think Sam Howell is good enough to win 10 games this season. Yeah. I, with the rest of that defense. I think the Commanders are a, you know, you could, you could make the argument... they came back from 21 to three. Like that's t you have to have something to be able to do that.

The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl

My overly direct take is the Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl.

Budda Baker will be an Eagle by the end of the week

Budda Baker will be an eagle by the end of the week... he practiced all week and then today he was a late add to the injury report and inactive for the game. Okay. You know, they don't want to get him hurt before a deal's coming. Eagles cleared two guys off of their practice squad to make room for potentially bringing somebody else in.

Micah Parsons is going to win NFL MVP

Micah Parsons winning M V P. Mika Parsons winning m v P... Lawrence Taylor was the last time that happened... It's not crazy.

The Commanders defensive line is better than the Eagles defensive line

The commanders, I think, have a better defensive line than even the Philadelphia Eagles do. Rivera's gonna be on the war path and it's gonna be nice and I think the commanders in that defensive line, which is the best in the NFL across, across all divisions.

The Jaguars might schedule their way to a Super Bowl

And the Jags, Pete Prisco might just be right. They might just schedule their way to a look at the schedule, to the Super Bowl. Look at the schedule. Their, their, their defense is not that good. And they're offensive, but Josh, Josh Allen, I think Josh Allen had three sacks there.

The single-game passing record will be broken this year

Norm Van Brocklin threw for 554 yards in 1951. That record. What a beast we need. We need to break that record. It's insane that it hasn't been broken yet. I'll throw a Pizza party. Yeah. For whatever quarterback breaks that record this year.

Jordan Love is average at best and the Bears are just that bad

I still don't think Jordan Love's that good. I don't, I think the Bears are just that bad. I think Jordan Love's average at best.

Jerry Jones only made a hologram of himself because he is about to die

I also feel I, you know, I'm not like a huge Jerry Jones fan, but good for him because I think Jerry Jones is about to die. ... In at and t stadium, Jerry Jones unveiled a hologram Jerry Jones that's interactive. ... AI hologram. You don't make that unless you're about to die.

Matt Nagy is a major problem for the Kansas City Chiefs offense

I have one thing that Chiefs fans need to be worried about. It's one name and his name's Matt Nagy. Eric Bieniemy is no longer with the Chiefs and Chiefs fans, you saw Matt Nagy in all his glory on that third and two when they got so cute. That was a Nagy special. The idiocy of taking the ball outta Patrick Mahomes' hands on a third and two is mind blowing.

This is a legacy-defining season for Kyle Shanahan where he must win the Super Bowl

I'm ready to say it. I think this is a legacy year for Kyle Shanahan. I think he has to win the Super Bowl or else his pristine championship pedigree has been tarnished. If he wins the Super Bowl, he will be the number one coach in the NFL. This is a legacy defining season for him.

The New England Patriots will win 11 games this season

I have high expectations for this team. But the national media like yourself think they have no shot. I think they'll win 11. 11 [wins] and seven [losses].